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Nigeria: What Is This 56 Percent?[/size]

OPINION

Photo: THIS DAY
Dr Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala.
A small row is brewing between the House of Representatives and Minister of Finance Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala over the percentage of the 2012 federal budget that has so far been implemented.

This particular skirmish is part of the wider war between the House and President Goodluck Jonathan over the snail-slow pace of execution of the budget. The House members said just before they went on [a questionable] recess that only 30% of the budget had been implemented and they would impeach the president if he does not significantly improve upon that by September, when they resume.

Not surprisingly, the finance minister rushed to the president's aid, saying 56% of the budget had been implemented by July 20. The House members later countered that, saying only 34% has so far been implemented. Both combatants miss the real issue.

[b]What is "implementation"? Don't forget that some years ago, when the Federal Government was accused of poor implementation of the independent power projects even after they had gulped a cool $16 billion during the Obasanjo years, government officials came up with a crafty reply which recalled to mind the old book "How to lie with statistics." They said the power projects, which had not generated even one megawatt out of the promised 3,000 were actually 90% completed!

How? Because tenders were advertised in the newspapers [5% completion], contractors submitted bids [15%], bids were opened [20%], due process was undertaken [30%], contracts were awarded [40%], mobilization fee was paid [50%], letters of credit were opened [60%], the goods were manufactured [75%], then shipped to Nigeria [80%] and are lying in containers at the docks [90%]. One top government official said at the time, "It has therefore been proved that a project could be 90% completed even though you don't see it on the ground."

Since the government relies on this voodoo calculation of project implementation, what stops it from using the same measure to determine budget implementation? What the finance minister seems to be saying with the 56% figure is that vouchers were prepared [10%], they were checked by auditors [15%], chief accountants signed them [20%], messengers took the vouchers to the accountant general's office [25%], a messenger received them there [30%], they were placed on the AG's desk [35%], he later issued warrants [40%] which were sent to the Central Bank [45%], which credited the accounts of ministries and agencies [50%] which used them to pay salaries [56%]. Finish![/b]

Coscharis, please lend me a car

I wish to use this medium to appeal to the kind hearted, generous, philanthropic and very patriotic managers of Coscharis Motors to kindly lend to me an exotic car for use during the upcoming meeting of wives of my relatives due to take place in my house this weekend. A latest model BMW, Jaguar or Porsche will do, or if none of these is available, I can manage with a Mercedes 500 XEL, a Lexus, a Ford Bronco, an Alfa Romeo or a Lincoln Continental. Or at least a Peugeot 607.

I am making this appeal because I have searched everywhere among my friends for a car to borrow, but no one has one that measures up to standard. Instead, one mischievous friend told me that I should go and buy a car at any of the multiple showrooms around Abuja before the wives' meeting date.

Luckily, one friend of mine who always has his eyes glued to the newspapers was able to bail me out with this very helpful suggestion. He said he read somewhere that the Federal Government bought 200 brand-new exotic cars for the Summit of African First Ladies that took place in Abuja last week. However, the following day, he saw the important correction put out by the government. They did not buy the cars, it turned out. The cars were actually bought in Dubai, cash down [according to a man who was standing there while the transaction unfolded] by Coscharis Motors, which then lent them for use during the summit. According to the government statement, the cars will be returned to Coscharis after the First Ladies would have departed for home, there to tell tall tales about how wonderfully new cars ply Nigerian roads.

Since they are all gone now, I believe that Coscharis has in its garages 200 what we call "second new" cars. They are not new enough to be displayed in its gleaming garages; any car driven around by a Nigerian government driver for a week can't be called new anymore. But then, they are hardly what we call "fairly used."

I remember that the same Coscharis lent hundreds of cars to the organizers of COJA '03. They are the most kind-hearted exotic car lenders in the world. Since I also have a summit of my relatives' wives coming up soon, I appeal to Coscharis to lend me an exotic car. I will return it to their nearest garage after the ceremony.


http://allafrica.com/stories/201208010559.html