Duxe: @poster..
An uncle of mine is offering 2 take me out 4 'beta opportunities' d moment am done wt youth service..n mind u,i did not graduate wt a 1st-class n av done nothing 4 him 2 merit his concern.
So watcha saying is...since am nt a 1st class n av done nothing 4 him,i dnt deserve his kindness? Or he's being stupid or wat(esp as it was entirely his idea n i didnt ask 4 his help)? Or am not goino mk it der n he's wasting resources?

I av NEVA entertained d thot of staying outside naija..but d fact dat he(out of love) offered 2 support our family(wanting nothing in return) has taught me a lot of things.

I believe helping or supporting a relative is by choice..n not a rt/responsibilty. If u av wat it takes n u dnt wana help,u av a choice 2 luk d oda way. Its not/has neva been by force.

So stop ranting over nothing!

This is more of a sentimental opinion of a beneficiary. Lemme ask, if your uncle had offered you a loan to study abroad, how would you have felt?
Don't you feel any personal reluctance to accept a no-strings-attached opportunity from someone?

In my opinion, it's entitlement mentality that's showcased by most of the posts. Same way a lot of youth in Nigeria expect someone to provide everything for them: a job, or accommodation, or even in some cases a car.

Ajanlekoko: interesting post!

Perhaps education is the only viable/legitimate reason for such persons to 'travel abroad'?
And/or the well-off relative happy to do this sees it as a means of letting people 'leave him/her - the well-to-do relative that is - alone'?

I have myself wondered about this: why should a student who graduated with a poor result, has no abiding interest in academics, has shown no academic promise. . . expect sponsorship for an expensive second degree? If the funds are there, then why not? But to require a relative to bend-over backwards? The decision ultimately rests with the sponsor. I'd do it for a student with a poor result if there are extenuating circumstances, even for the 'average' fellow you described if - IF - the funds are available. But having relatives malign one for this is ridiculous.

I like your idea of a loan. A similar offer was made to a fellow who had wanted to be sponsored abroad for studies. Even though the loan was interest-free, our study-abroad fellow didn't appreciate it and suddenly developed a reduced interest in the studies. Telling, isn't it?

.

Nimshi: Ajanlekoko: interesting post!

Perhaps education is the only viable/legitimate reason for such persons to 'travel abroad'?
And/or the well-off relative happy to do this sees it as a means of letting people 'leave him/her - the well-to-do relative that is - alone'?

I have myself wondered about this: why should a student who graduated with a poor result, has no abiding interest in academics, has shown no academic promise. . . expect sponsorship for an expensive second degree? If the funds are there, then why not? But to require a relative to bend-over backwards? The decision ultimately rests with the sponsor. I'd do it for a student with a poor result if there are extenuating circumstances, even for the 'average' fellow you described if - IF - the funds are available. But having relatives malign one for this is ridiculous.

.

To be frank, I think it's not a matter of being rich, or if the funds are available or not.
I think few people in Nigeria would be unsympathetic to anyone looking to get ahead. The real question is the legitimacy of such requests. I mean, you may believe that the way out for you is to study abroad, while I may not share that view, especially where you are concerned. In that kind of situation, must I be compelled by the African support culture to indulge your request?

In fact, people who graduated in Nigeria with an excellent grade like a first class would not necessarily require family sponsorship or assistance to get ahead. Such persons can probably find employment in Nigeria easily, as well as scholarships or study opportunities outside Nigeria. So what are we trying to justify here, exactly?

You wrote: " I think it's not a matter of being rich, or if the funds are available or not."

-- Apparently, it is, and for many sponsors. The reasons to me are clear: the 'average' student you describe stands a better chance of doing well (this is non-scientific observation) outside the country than in Nigeria; what's usually needed is opportunity. Many of the average native students I know are seldom any much better than the 'average' Nigerian graduate with the determination to succeed.

The real question is the legitimacy of such requests. I mean, you may believe that the way out for you is to study abroad, while I may not share that view, especially where you are concerned. In that kind of situation, must I be compelled by the African support culture to indulge your request?

-- That's responded to. . . Anyone could make any request; in fact, it's usually better to ask than not to ask at all. No trouble ought to be made for anyone who refuses to meet the request.

In fact, people who graduated in Nigeria with an excellent grade like a first class would not necessarily require family sponsorship or assistance to get ahead. Such persons can probably find employment in Nigeria easily, as well as scholarships or study opportunities outside Nigeria. So what are we trying to justify here, exactly?

-- Perhaps sometimes true, but not always true. There was a time (I do not know of now, I expect things to have become worse) when very good students couldn't obtain any scholarships abroad. And even with better conditions, the number of scholarships could hardly meet the demand for those willing to study.

The main point is that family members do not malign a no-show sponsor. But yes: assisting even average students when one has the means is noble; if not for the fact that they have anything special, but for the sake of education itself. Surely, a little better education would - in and of itself - be good, no?

I now suspect you have an extreme view on this specific issue: should one not support (free scholarship, loan, etc) even a poor student who's shown an interest in education abroad when one has the means and is willing? Why would this not be appropriate for a relative given the conditions stated here?

AjanleKoko:

To be frank, I think it's not a matter of being rich, or if the funds are available or not.
I think few people in Nigeria would be unsympathetic to anyone looking to get ahead. The real question is the legitimacy of such requests. I mean, you may believe that the way out for you is to study abroad, while I may not share that view, especially where you are concerned. In that kind of situation, must I be compelled by the African support culture to indulge your request?

In fact, people who graduated in Nigeria with an excellent grade like a first class would not necessarily require family sponsorship or assistance to get ahead. Such persons can probably find employment in Nigeria easily, as well as scholarships or study opportunities outside Nigeria. So what are we trying to justify here, exactly?

Well, I dont think it is illegal or unlawful to help people close to you. If your main concern is in fact a matter of its "legitimacy" or lawfulness, I'd like to believe that there are no overaggressive sheriffs in Nigeria eager to haul you off to jail for trying to potentially make someone else's life better. As far as i know, no one has been arrested for being charitable to their relatives. And I really doubt this is an area the courts are willing to dabble into. Things like this are better left to the discretion and abilities of individuals involved. So Mr. Ajanlekoko, Nairaland's most famous underachiever , chillaaaaaaaaaax, no one is gonna send you to kirikiri for trying to help your relatives. Its not that serious!

Legitimacy: lawfulness by virtue of being authorized or in accordance with law

Nimshi: You wrote: " I think it's not a matter of being rich, or if the funds are available or not."

-- Apparently, it is, and for many sponsors. The reasons to me are clear: the 'average' student you describe stands a better chance of doing well (this is non-scientific observation) outside the country than in Nigeria; what's usually needed is opportunity. Many of the average native students I know are seldom any much better than the 'average' Nigerian graduate with the determination to succeed.

The real question is the legitimacy of such requests. I mean, you may believe that the way out for you is to study abroad, while I may not share that view, especially where you are concerned. In that kind of situation, must I be compelled by the African support culture to indulge your request?

-- That's responded to. . . Anyone could make any request; in fact, it's usually better to ask than not to ask at all. No trouble ought to be made for anyone who refuses to meet the request.

In fact, people who graduated in Nigeria with an excellent grade like a first class would not necessarily require family sponsorship or assistance to get ahead. Such persons can probably find employment in Nigeria easily, as well as scholarships or study opportunities outside Nigeria. So what are we trying to justify here, exactly?

-- Perhaps sometimes true, but not always true. There was a time (I do not know of now, I expect things to have become worse) when very good students couldn't obtain any scholarships abroad. And even with better conditions, the number of scholarships could hardly meet the demand for those willing to study.

The main point is that family members do not malign a no-show sponsor. But yes: assisting even average students when one has the means is noble; if not for the fact that they have anything special, but for the sake of education itself. Surely, a little better education would - in and of itself - be good, no?

I now suspect you have an extreme view on this specific issue: should one not support (free scholarship, loan, etc) even a poor student who's shown an interest in education abroad when one has the means and is willing? Why would this not be appropriate for a relative given the conditions stated here?

Referring to bolded. I'm not in any way questioning the nobility of helping anyone. I am merely looking at the issue in this context: When is it right to assist such persons, and when is it not right to assist?
If you go back to page naught of this topic, I did ask a question: if you have one relative and you have the means to sponsor that relative to study abroad, all well and good. However, you have 2 3, 4, 5 such requests. What criteria would you apply in such cases? And looking at it from the beneficiary's perspective, is it a reasonable request in itself to ask somebody to pay for foreign education for you?

In my earlier posts, I said studying abroad is a luxury, and I said usually luxuries had to be earned. Why do i say so? We can apply same reasoning to primary or secondary education. If you have little or no means, you take advantage of UBE and the state-owned school, warts and all. A little more means, and you can go to one of the repossessed missionary or institutional schools, or the unity schools (federal government colleges). Even more means, and you can attend a private school. If your parents or benefactor is well-off, you could even attend American International School. In the end, it is all about what you have access to.

Some have asserted here that foreign education is not a luxury. I struggle with that, when you consider the costs, the requirements, and everything else that is implied. Unlike my secondary school analogy, an education in the UK is likely not to be more expensive than an education in, say, Ghana, Dubai, or South Africa. The difference might just be down to ease of obtaining a study visa.

oyb: i would only give money to a relative with a clear and demonstrable track record of academic achievment

Coming from someone with no " clear and demonstrable track record of achievement" himself. The point is that, you are not a profile in clear academic achievement either. Maybe the Nigerian govt should have discarded you when it was obvious, somewhere midway through your five year program, that you werent gonna graduate with anything better than a mediocre, piss-pooor 2:2?

in the west, scholarships are based on a academic achievement, and maintaining the same through the duration of the scholarship

You mean in the SW of Nigeria where you live or developed countries you've never been to? You know, having a so called unknown "bigwig' in an IT firm in NY doesnt count as first-hand experience of the West. The 'bigwig' brother of yours I am sure is only a 'bigwig' in the mind of his mediocre family. Making grand statements about scholarships in the West without any first hand experience is the height of ignorance and recklessness; very unfortunate that such statement is coming form a 'bush-boy' like you who ought to be more humble, going by your bland and unimpressive academic record. I mean, what did you actually do at Ilorin for the five years you were there? To graduate with a 2:2 at such a substandard school is quite an achievement really. You must have thought academic excellence was a race to the bottom, init? The first to 1.0 . . .

Just so you know, merit based scholarships are few and difficult to come by nowadays. Most scholarships are now need-based. A student form the inner cities in with average SAT is more likely to attend an Ivy league free of charge than a student with perfect SATs who grew up in middle class neighborhood. I am sure it is the same thing in most developed countries now that the data are clear that you can actually teach people to do well and tests and test-scores dont mean much in the grand scheme of things, at least as long as you meet certain threshold.

that is just Nigerians and awoof mentality

It wasnt awoof money when the FG sponsored your stupidddd arse through Ilorin? When the money could have been better spent taking care of your more illustrious classmates like Becomrich?

Agbaya oshi!

Too many emotions flowing in this thread!

My answer to the OP is mostly tied to my human element. I believe in helping deserving people in need.

Would I send my relative to school abroad knowing fully well that I’m just throwing money down the drain? NO. I would only send a relative or anyone else to school abroad if I know that he/she has what it takes to succeed.

If a relative just wasting away in Nigeria just wants to seek greener pastures abroad and seeking ticket money, sure no problem because his standard of living will probably improve even if he ends up working at McDonalds for the rest of his life.

I will only give you money for what I think you have a chance at succeeding at.

Why give you millions to study abroad when I know fully well that you’re unserious about education? Why not give you the money to pay for something that you’re really good at? Like learning a trade and setting up a shop for you?

Lastly, it is human nature not to appreciate what is given for free! For that, my help will come with preconditions that will force you to appreciate my help. There’s no free lunch.

For example:
1. I will only give you the money on per semester basis and only if you maintain a GPA above B average; or
2. I might give you the money initially as a loan but will write it off if you graduate with a B average; or
3. I might give you the money as a loan payable to your siblings in 6 years. In other words, you owe your sibling whatever I gave you.

The bottom line is that I work hard for my money and I don’t have an endless supply of it but I would also like the little supply that I have to benefit more people. And the only way that will happen is if there’s a net return to the society from my little help. In other words, “Pay it forward.”

fagamite:

Coming from someone with no " clear and demonstrable track record of achievement" himself. The point is that, you are not a profile in clear academic achievement either. Maybe the Nigerian govt should have discarded you when it was obvious, somewhere midway through your five year program, that you werent gonna graduate with anything better than a mediocre, piss-pooor 2:2?





You mean in the SW of Nigeria where you live or developed countries you've never been to? You know, having a so called unknown "bigwig' in an IT firm in NY doesnt count as first-hand experience of the West. The 'bigwig' brother of yours I am sure is only a 'bigwig' in the mind of his mediocre family. Making grand statements about scholarships in the West without any first hand experience is the height of ignorance and recklessness; very unfortunate that such statement is coming form a 'bush-boy' like you who ought to be more humble, going by your bland and unimpressive academic record. I mean, what did you actually do at Ilorin for the five years you were there? To graduate with a 2:2 at such a substandard school is quite an achievement really. You must have thought academic excellence was a race to the bottom, init? The first to 1.0 . . .

Just so you know, merit based scholarships are few and difficult to come by nowadays. Most scholarships are now need-based. A student form the inner cities in with average SAT is more likely to attend an Ivy league free of charge than a student with perfect SATs who grew up in middle class neighborhood. I am sure it is the same thing in most developed countries now that the data are clear that you can actually teach people to do well and tests and test-scores dont mean much in the grand scheme of things, at least as long as you meet certain threshold.





It wasnt awoof money when the FG sponsored your stupidddd arse through Ilorin? When the money could have been better spent taking care of your more illustrious classmates like Becomrich?

Agbaya oshi!

pele - ife reject.

Ajanlekoko wrote: When is it right to assist such persons, and when is it not right to assist?

I'd say when you're willing and can. That's not much help, but that's what it boils down to for me. I would assist even the worst student if I could. But given as I do not have unlimited resources, I will have to evaluate the level of assistance on a case-by-case basis. I would (and have!) done an odd job or two to assist a brilliant and/or hardworking/diligent non-nuclear family member, just because they showed promise. I don't think this is especially noble; I would hope most people would do the same. When it's family, non-objective criteria gain entrance into the mix. You have yourself noted that you would do that for a child of yours; some may feel that responsibility even to a distant relative, blood/water/thickness and all that . . .

.

coogar:

this is the idiocy you guys wear like a badge of honour....it's not about being my money or whatever you wanna call it. it's about being charitable and responsible if you are capable!
what you troglodytes don't know is the phenomenon is mostly cyclic. people don't just ask for these favours without feeling a remote sense of entitlement!

for instance, chief okoro sponsored emeka's postgraduate studies abroad 20 yrs ago, emeka later became successful in his profession while chief okoro's now retired with kids still struggling to forge ahead in their career. is it irrational for chief okoro's son to seek help from emeka?

Perhaps Chief Okoro should have invested that money in his kids, so that he wouldn't have to depend on another man to cater for his own kids in his old age. Obviously, Chief Okoro now knows he was not as capable as he thought he was 20years ago. Hopefully he is reading this thread and will never make such a mistake.

I'm in! Jst b careful o

Why are you guys getting personal?

Is it possible to leave your baggage from other threads/time/space. . .whatever out of this?

And they say women are the emotional ones.

Geez!!

AjanleKoko:

LOL.
Learn what exactly? How to make money online?

you're a lunkhead -

birdman:

Perhaps Chief Okoro should have invested that money in his kids, so that he wouldn't have to depend on another man to cater for his own kids in his old age. Obviously, Chief Okoro now knows he was not as capable as he thought he was 20years ago. Hopefully he is reading this thread and will never make such a mistake.

when chief okoro invested that much on emeka, chief okoro's kids were still babies in kindergarten. emeka was an undergraduate and the persistent strike and student riots was delaying his career. hs came to chief okoro for help and okoro thought why not?

chief okoro is now retired, he's quite comfortable but he cannot afford to send his 3 kids abroad at the same time. emeka is now a successful investment banker by the virtue of the aid chief okoro gave him some years back. is it irrational for okoro's son to approach emeka for help?

ade101: Thanks to everyone for giving this dude a fair slap in the face. At first, he expected comments that will support his pathetic point view.The many non-supportive comments seen so far goes to show how wrong you are.I would be glad if you and others like you can learn from those comments. Thanks.

You are most welcome

coogar:

that's because you are a pillock with poop for brains.....a team that's yet to lose a single game is having a poor preseason? yet you wonder there are more intelligent horses than you @ the olympics....you started a dumb topic - you are being called out and faced with tough questions, you have resorted to ebonics known to kids suffering from trisomy 21.

far majority of the people who pursue relatives aggressively for this kind of aid do so because they feel entitled to it. probably because they know this relative of theirs was also helped at one point in their lives. how many total strangers have knocked on your father's door begging £40,000 to school @ imperial college!

i have always known you to be an airhead - you are a witless apprentice. i have never seen you make an intelligent comment anywhere apart from the same archaic and vacuous reasoning. if you feel challenged, stop hiding behind the curtain and show me how clued up you are in critical reasoning...... i have thrown down the gauntlet!




you are a consummate retard!
charity: the voluntary giving of help, typically money, to those in need.
where did it say it has to be N50,000 or 5 gazillion?

if you can help, do so - if you cannot, then say so and stop dragging your needy relatives in the mud on a public forum!

Oh my daysssssssss

You are meannnnnn

Coogar, I don't think it is wise for Mr. okoro to go into helping Emeka with the mindset that Emeka will do the same for his kids. In an ideal world where the heart of men isn't corrupt and their memories aren't quick to fade, Emeka helping his benefactor's kids will not even be up for debate but you and I know we don't live in an ideal world and people can be hardhearted.

Don't get me wrong oh. . .not saying Mr. Okoro shouldn't help Emeka. I am just saying "So that he can help my children in the future" shouldn't be the underlying motive behind it. Would hate for him to spend his twilight years. . .Heartbroken.

coogar:

when chief okoro invested that much on emeka, chief okoro's kids were still babies in kindergarten. emeka was an undergraduate and the persistent strike and student riots was delaying his career. hs came to chief okoro for help and okoro thought why not?

chief okoro is now retired, he's quite comfortable but he cannot afford to send his 3 kids abroad at the same time. emeka is now a successful investment banker by the virtue of the aid chief okoro gave him some years back. is it irrational for okoro's son to approach emeka for help?

Yes, because Chief Okoro should have told Emeka that whatever he spends on Emeka's sojourn abroad is simply a loan and someday he's going to be asking for repayment!

May God spare us from godfathers masquerading as helpers!

Sisi_Kill: Coogar, I don't think it is wise for Mr. okoro to go into helping Emeka with the mindset that Emeka will do the same for his kids. In an ideal world were the heart of men isn't corrupt and their memories are'nt quick to fade, Emeka helping his benefactor's kids will not even be up for debate but you and I know we don't live in an ideal world and people can be hardhearted.

nah - he did not do it so emeka can repay him back. if that was the case, 20 yrs was more than enough time to recoup back his funds from emeka. he did it out of just being charitable. he then retired and we all know how pathetic the gratuity and the pension scheme in nigeria is....chief okoro is still quite comfortable but not as much as coughing £25k on each kid in foreign universities per session!

Don't get me wrong oh. . .not saying Mr. Okoro shouldn't help Emeka. I am just saying "So that he can help my children in the future" shouldn't be the underlying motive behind it. Would hate for him to spend his twilight years. . .Heartbroken.

that was not his motive.....if you look back at the men in the 80s and 90s, majority of them had no less than 4-5 dependent relatives plus their family. most of them built houses before they clocked 30. a secondary school graduate then could work as a bank clerk and live comfortably - unlike this present lost generation....people who gave aid then were comfortable giving it without thinking of any returns....otherwise there would have been a collateral or an annual payment scheme to recoup the money back....

life is all about give n take.....

naijababe: j
Yes, because Chief Okoro should have told Emeka that whatever he spends on Emeka's sojourn abroad is simply a loan and someday he's going to be asking for repayment!

okoro's son approaching emeka is a loan repayment? okoro's son wasn't the one that sponsored emeka's education abroad. the son approached emeka just like emeka once approached chief okoro.....

May God spare us from godfathers masquerading as helpers!

the comment above is the most brilliant, most incisive and the most illuminating since i joined this forum. socrates and plato would have been so proud of your rare ingenuity!

IF you can know how to do am and born pikin, you better be able to raise them. I think relatives abroad should stop helping. This world is every man for himself. Because people think there is one relative somewhere that can feed them if all goes bad, they keep breeding kids like dogs. I can support small small, here and there. But i am sorry, i cannot take another person's responsibility on my head. Am sure i have enough. I wouldn't even send my child to school abroad if they are not capable, not to talk of relative. Sending a kid abroad does not mean automatic success. . Good post OP. Nigerians always feel entitled to another person's money. But are too cowardly to ask their government to do the right thing, so that they will not be begging from relative to relative.

coogar:

okoro's son approaching emeka is a loan repayment? okoro's son wasn't the one that sponsored emeka's education abroad. the son approached emeka just like emeka once approached chief okoro.....



the comment above is the most brilliant, most incisive and the most illuminating since i joined this forum. socrates and plato would have been so proud of your rare ingenuity!

You are still missing the point coogar; why is Okoro's son going to Emeka for help if not to subtly demand payback for the 'help' his father rendered? He should be seeking philanthropy from coogar who never benefitted from his father. BTW, would Emeka still be obliged to help Okoro's children even if they are undeserving of what they seek?

naijababe:


You are still missing the point coogar; why is Okoro's son going to Emeka for help if not to subtly demand payback for the 'help' his father rendered? He should be seeking philanthropy from coogar who never benefitted from his father....

emeka's a well to do relative, duh!
your question should have been - why did emeka seek help from chief okoro 20 yrs ago?
the answer should match why okoro's son is now seeking the same help from emeka.

BTW, would Emeka still be obliged to help Okoro's children even if they are undeserving of what they seek?

who decides if a youth is deserving or less deserving any help to get them up. i know plenty of boys who got expelled in naija unis cos of various vices and they were sent abroad and later bagged first class! we are talking about youths here not 40 yr olds. i don't think the standard of education in nigeria is a yardstick to judge one's ability - it isn when they travel out of nigeria that one can really assess them.

i have seen first class graduates in nigeria who cannot construct sentences correctly....

coogar:

when chief okoro invested that much on emeka, chief okoro's kids were still babies in kindergarten. emeka was an undergraduate and the persistent strike and student riots was delaying his career. hs came to chief okoro for help and okoro thought why not?

chief okoro is now retired, he's quite comfortable but he cannot afford to send his 3 kids abroad at the same time. emeka is now a successful investment banker by the virtue of the aid chief okoro gave him some years back. is it irrational for okoro's son to approach emeka for help?

Of course not. But it is irrational for Chief Okoro's kids to expect Emeka to actually help. Emeka might very well have financial pressures of his own, like sending his own kids to school. Obviously, Chief is not comfortable - if you cant afford reasonably good education for your kids, you are NOT comfortable no matter how much material wealth you have. Perhaps Chief Okoro should have started saving for his kids while they were in kindergarten, instead of depending on another man to take care of his kids in his old age.

Anyways Sis_kill put it better than I could have

thw whole chief okoro analogy actually sounds like something africans would do - engage in feel good philanthropy before securing the future of your own kids or even your own future or that matter

oyb: thw whole chief okoro analogy actually sounds like something africans would do - engage in feel good philanthropy before securing the future of your own kids or even your own future or that matter

Exactly. Our own special brand of "retirement funds" combined with "trust funds" all in one. Well, these days we actually have companies like IBTC.

AjanleKoko:

This is more of a sentimental opinion of a beneficiary. Lemme ask, if your uncle had offered you a loan to study abroad, how would you have felt?
Don't you feel any personal reluctance to accept a no-strings-attached opportunity from someone?

In my opinion, it's entitlement mentality that's showcased by most of the posts. Same way a lot of youth in Nigeria expect someone to provide everything for them: a job, or accommodation, or even in some cases a car.

i understand u perfectly..but let me state here again dat i BELIEVE helping is not a rt(of d relative) nor a responsibility(of d richguy). It is a choice!

@ur question...i wudnt take a loan i neva asked 4. Am (by Godz grace) comfortable as it is n dnt believe i need 2 travel abroad 2 excel n so i do not need d loan! But if i had a business plan...y not?!

U make it sound lyk its such a crazy thing 2 do(sending a relative abroad)! I know all abt sentiments..but not ALL people reason dat way. Sometimes, u jus get 2do d things u can, weda its appreciated or not(n i knw d latter hurts)!

I knw some peeps who 'sponsor' people secretly n prefer 2 remain annonymous(wanting no show of gratitude nor payback)! And i know U'd NEVER dream of doing dat! Recently, i tuk a cousin's 6wk old baby 2 d hospital n paid d bills..i didnt get a thanku from d mum(i didnt notice untill later) but i had this inner joy n satisfaction dat God could bless me wt d priviledge of being in d position 2 help!. I luv dat kid like shez mine!

Please, do not spoil d minds of cheerful givers here(no insult intended). Remember, It is a choice!

No1 goes wt his/her wealth wen he/she dies.

Duxe:



i understand u perfectly..but let me state here again dat i BELIEVE helping is not a rt(of d relative) nor a responsibility(of d richguy). It is a choice!

@ur question...i wudnt take a loan i neva asked 4. Am (by Godz grace) comfortable as it is n dnt believe i need 2 travel abroad 2 excel n so i do not need d loan! But if i had a business plan...y not?!

U make it sound lyk its such a crazy thing 2 do(sending a relative abroad)! I know all abt sentiments..but not ALL people reason dat way. Sometimes, u jus get 2do d things u can, weda its appreciated or not(n i knw d latter hurts)!

I knw some peeps who 'sponsor' people secretly n prefer 2 remain annonymous(wanting no show of gratitude nor payback)! And i know U'd NEVER dream of doing dat! Recently, i tuk a cousin's 6wk old baby 2 d hospital n paid d bills..i didnt get a thanku from d mum(i didnt notice untill later) but i had this inner joy n satisfaction dat God could bless me wt d priviledge of being in d position 2 help!. I luv dat kid like shez mine!

Please, do not spoil d minds of cheerful givers here(no insult intended). Remember, It is a choice!

No1 goes wt his/her wealth wen he/she dies.

I have to say, at least you didn't cuss me the heck out
But thanks for sharing your POV without abuse. I appreciate it.

oyb: thw whole chief okoro analogy actually sounds like something africans would do - engage in feel good philanthropy before securing the future of your own kids or even your own future or that matter

Gbam !!!

birdman:

Of course not. But it is irrational for Chief Okoro's kids to expect Emeka to actually help. Emeka might very well have financial pressures of his own, like sending his own kids to school. Obviously, Chief is not comfortable - if you cant afford reasonably good education for your kids, you are NOT comfortable no matter how much material wealth you have. Perhaps Chief Okoro should have started saving for his kids while they were in kindergarten, instead of depending on another man to take care of his kids in his old age.

Anyways Sis_kill put it better than I could have

if chief okoro isn't comfortable then 99% of nigerians are not comfortable.
listen - chief okoro is quite comfortable sending his wards to school in nigeria, but cannot afford sending all of them abroad to complete their degrees.
how many nigerians can put £80,000 on their kids every session on fees/allowances to study abroad?

coogar:

if chief okoro isn't comfortable then 99% of nigerians are not comfortable.
listen - chief okoro is quite comfortable sending his wards to school in nigeria, but cannot afford sending all of them abroad to complete their degrees.
how many nigerians can put £80,000 on their kids every session on fees/allowances to study abroad?

Then Chief Okoro and his wards must learn to live within their means!

coogar:



the comment above is the most brilliant, most incisive and the most illuminating since i joined this forum. socrates and plato would have been so proud of your rare ingenuity!

Truth be told, I love how you cut Ode-n-lekoko to pieces. It was refreshing, poignant, and masterfully done; on par with works done by some of the best Nobel winning laureates around. However, rating Niajababe's comment as brilliant made me lose a great deal of the respect I once had for you. No one really knows how Socrates would have felt about the comment, so you are wrong there. As for Plato, I doubt he would regard any of Naijababe's comments as brilliant. Her comments are mostly feminine and of little originality. Mostly, she just paraphrases Odenlekoko, " a witless" electrical technician c/u/m panel beater whose comments are, as your rightly described, "archaic and vacuous . . ."