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Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! - Family - Nairaland

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Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 10:29am On Aug 07, 2012
Sorry if the title is misleading, but a friend of mine is going through this, She is my best friend and I love her so very dearly. Right now..I am even more depressed than her. If her problem do not get solved, I believe we are both going down, she is not going down alone...she is more than a sister to me. We have tried everything. From plan A to plan Z nothing seem to be working now the problem is aggravating. Sad part is that I am watching my friend going down slowly and I am getting sooooooooooooo depressed and sinking with her slowly.

Before I start, I'd like to please request all attention seekers, ediots and jerks to stay away from this thread. This is a serious matter to me. Thank you in advance.

Here is the issue, my friend is being forced to marry someone she don't want to marry. Her family want to do a family marriage, to somebody in Africa. She is already in love with somebody over here. The boy told her about his family and they were ready to come ask her hand in marriage. But the family are saying that she will not marry him never! Not today not now never!!! According to them she is already married to the guy in Africa. Now the boy mother is telling him to forget about the girl because family approval matters to her.

Pleaseeeeee what should my friend do in this situation?

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 10:31am On Aug 07, 2012
I will give you a brief answer.....

Let her get pregnant for the one she loves! Every other thing will fall into place.

Trust me it works!
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 10:32am On Aug 07, 2012
Vikin: I will give you a brief answer.....

Let her get pregnant for the one she loves! Every other thing will fall into place.

Trust me it works!
We thought abt that but she is the kind who want to have her children in wedlock. But thanks for ur advice.

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by rakumiii(m): 10:33am On Aug 07, 2012
This is a serious matter o

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 10:37am On Aug 07, 2012
Ignore the erros in my post, I am not thinking straight.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Honeycity(f): 10:42am On Aug 07, 2012
rokiatu: Ignore the erros in my post, I am not thinking straight.
let her elope with the one she loves.

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 10:45am On Aug 07, 2012
Honeycity:
let her elope with the one she loves.

Family is very important to both partners.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by born2boink(m): 10:52am On Aug 07, 2012
Is that why you want to die, you know sabbi route to maiduguri or damanturu? cheeeeeeewo, too much fasting dey cause palava for brain, person wey want die for another person palava.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 10:52am On Aug 07, 2012
born2fuck: Is that why you want to die, you know sabbi route to maiduguri or damanturu? cheeeeeeewo, too much fasting dey cause palava for brain, person wey want die for another person palava.
I said no jerks no ediots and no attention seekers. Shoot!!!

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Abali1(m): 11:00am On Aug 07, 2012
Vikin: I will give you a brief answer.....

Let her get pregnant for the one she loves! Every other thing will fall into place.

Trust me it works!

Op, I agree with this post. Parents can be unnecessarrily stuborn. Yes they may have given birth to us and also wiser than us, but issues of Love (especially True Love) is something most people don't understand. Because when it comes to Love there is actually no rationale why we choose to be with one person instead of another.
Now, will you want a situation where both of them succumbs to pressure and break up, after having married other people their parts may cross again and they will start indulging in adultery. No matter what happens now, it doesn't erase the fact that both of them are in love, and there parts may likely cross in future.

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by born2boink(m): 11:03am On Aug 07, 2012
rokiatu: I said no jerks no ediots and no attention seekers. Shoot!!!
my name is not jerks, my name is not ediots but to be honest, what is your problem with hoti-tima life, if her parents is dashing her out,let them dash her to anyone they wish, you don't have to be hypertensive on someone else problem
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:05am On Aug 07, 2012
Abali1:

Op, I agree with this post. Parents can be unnecessarrily stuborn. Yes they may have given birth to us and also wiser than us, but issues of Love (especially True Love) is something most people don't understand. Because when it comes to Love there is actually no rationale why we choose to be with one person instead of another.
Now, will you want a situation where both of them succumbs to pressure and break up, after having married other people their parts may cross again and they will start indulging in adultery. No matter what happens now, it doesn't erase the fact that both of them are in love, and there parts may likely cross in future.

Thank you very much for the advice, But we are a scared the family may disown her if she gets pregnant. But still thanks for the advice.



I am gonna be showing this thread to my friend later. So she will be reading. Please keep the advice coming guys. Thank you.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by GreenJ(m): 11:10am On Aug 07, 2012
1: Start strange behaviors in the house.

2: Not to show up for anything about the marriage.

3: Elope to a family member that will understand with her.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by feminineA: 11:12am On Aug 07, 2012
From what I gathered from your post, ur friend and her boyfriend are based oversees? It makes it easy self let them get married according to the law of the land they are based and just inform their parents, they will just be angry for a moment. @ this time and age you can't do arrangee wedding for people again. But I hope you friend is sure that her boyfriend is the one she wants to spend her life with so she doesn't regret her actions later

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Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by floranbee1(f): 11:15am On Aug 07, 2012
Two to three pple av gven u solid advice bt u dnt seem or wnt to go along wt them.clearly u r confused,y dnt u n ur friend sit n really decide on wot u shld do
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:15am On Aug 07, 2012
born2fuck: my name is not jerks, my name is not ediots but to be honest, what is your problem with hoti-tima life, if her parents is dashing her out,let them dash her to anyone they wish, you don't have to be hypertensive on someone else problem

LOL who told you is Hotie Tima? Thanks for making me laugh buhahahahha.


You are an ediot else you would have understood that some friendship are like blood tie. I love her, she love me I want to see her happy. Her worries are mine as well as her happiness. I know as humans we are very selfish but sometimes it pays to be a lil unselfish.

My mother always say, when a person passed away, people cry because of the benefit of that person. People are crying because of how they will missed that person and their good deeds.
Even if the person is your mother and they were wicked to you, you cry and little or maybe feel sad a little only because of the mother and child bond. You will have nothing to reflect on to make the tears come.

So you dumb fool, I am feeling sad because this friend of mine is always there for me too. Through it all, the joy, the sadness..everything.

Why shouldn't share hers with her? Or I should only be there doing the time of good times?


Pleaseeeeee I am not that selfish thank you.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by born2boink(m): 11:18am On Aug 07, 2012
GreenJ: 1: Start strange behaviors in the house.

2: Not to show up for anything about the marriage.

3: Elope to a family member that will understand with her.
you didn't ask if they are Hausa tribe, remember nothing good comes out from there and even if something good try to comes out,it ended up in bad result
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:20am On Aug 07, 2012
feminine A: From what I gathered from your post, ur friend and her boyfriend are based oversees? It makes it easy self let them get married according to the law of the land they are based and just inform their parents, they will just be angry for a moment. @ this time and age you can't do arrangee wedding for people again. But I hope you friend is sure that her boyfriend is the one she wants to spend her life with so she doesn't regret her actions later
The family even suggest this to them. Saying "Go and do it the government way" But we are not in it today we are not in it tommorrow not even if we die.

As for me, I am thinking the boy still try to convince his parents and stand firmly by his decision. He and his family can then try to will the battle. Even if they get regrected twice thrice or whatever they shouldn't give up. I believe her parents may melt one day.


Because they are really in love..is gonna be hard to fall out of love.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:22am On Aug 07, 2012
GreenJ: 1: Start strange behaviors in the house.

2: Not to show up for anything about the marriage.

3: Elope to a family member that will understand with her.
Both failed!!! She's done that. The only family member on her side is her sister. So you can see.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by ifyalways(f): 11:24am On Aug 07, 2012
What's the point of the fearful thread title undecided
Open and close case,IMO.
They just get on with the marriage already as they are in a foreign land,far away from the parents,buy some time,hope the parents would come around or go their seperate ways.
What else do they wanna hear ?
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:26am On Aug 07, 2012
This one is not an issue naawww undecided
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:27am On Aug 07, 2012
ifyalways: What's the point of the fearful thread title undecided
Open and close case,IMO.
They just get on with the marriage already as they are in a foreign land,far away from the parents,buy some time,hope the parents would come around or go their seperate ways.
What else do they wanna hear ?
They are not far away from their parents. Both their parents are here. The girl still lives with her parents. The only person in Africa is the guy they want her to get marry to.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by born2boink(m): 11:32am On Aug 07, 2012
Thanks for changing the topic, where was the sense hide before? Don't reply to this
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by tpia1: 11:32am On Aug 07, 2012
is the "here" guy a nigerian?

ie are her parents opposed to the idea of her marrying a nigerian, and so arranged a marriage for her with someone from their own country?

clarify that first, if possible.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by GreenJ(m): 11:38am On Aug 07, 2012
rokiatu:
Both failed!!! She's done that. The only family member on her side is her sister. So you can see.

Then she should inform that guy her parents want her to marry that she dose not love him, like him and cant be
faithful to him! I guess he will understand the implications.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 11:53am On Aug 07, 2012
Simple your friend should find out all the things the supposed husband hates, and do them. Be dirty , irritating, lazy, unsubmissive by the end of the day the guy will be begging not to marry you. You can also go a step further by calling your bf when the other guy is there, if he still wants the marriage then his head is not screwed on properly.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by armyofone(m): 12:17pm On Aug 07, 2012
steph7: Simple your friend should find out all the things the supposed husband hates, and do them. Be dirty , irritating, lazy, unsubmissive by the end of the day the guy will be begging not to marry you. You can also go a step further by calling your bf when the other guy is there, if he still wants the marriage then his head is not screwed on properly.

also get him upset, once he land that african slap on her as usual, she calls the cops or police on him (she should hit her head on the wall so bad it swells or fall off the stairs as soon as the cops are coming) he goes to jail or deported and then she marries her prince grin
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by jaym112002(m): 4:05pm On Aug 07, 2012
First she needs to pray hard! Challenges like this need wisdom, wisdom from God...because any wrong decision is one of a permanent nature. Also, your friend should be ready to SACRIFICE something. Either she sacrifices her family, or get pregnant and elopes with her man of choice..she needs to choose one. Because in this case, she can never eat her cake and have it. She needs to be ready to sacrifice. But one thing is for sure, whatever she chooses, as long as her HAPPINESS is in that choice, eventually, everything will work out well FOR GOOD. Thats certain
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 2:24am On Aug 08, 2012
Thank you Jaym great advice.
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by Nobody: 2:24am On Aug 08, 2012
tpia1: is the "here" guy a nigerian?

ie are her parents opposed to the idea of her marrying a nigerian, and so arranged a marriage for her with someone from their own country?

clarify that first, if possible.

No he's not
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by dayokanu(m): 2:38am On Aug 08, 2012
Does your friend talk to the African guy on phone?

Let her pick a fight with him and make the guy break up with her
Re: Her Friend is Being Forced To Marry - Help! by dayokanu(m): 2:39am On Aug 08, 2012
armyofone:

also get him upset, once he land that african slap on her as usual, she calls the cops or police on him (she should hit her head on the wall so bad it swells or fall off the stairs as soon as the cops are coming) he goes to jail or deported and then she marries her prince grin

Instead of slap, If he lands a kiss and lands you on bed and his prick lands in her pussy and 9months later a baby lands in the hospital

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