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Help:my Brother's Car Has Bin Seized By Custom Officials. / My Brother Sold My Car With The Original Documents Without My Consent / My Car, Your Ride and Our Dream Cars (2) (3) (4)

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What by nahinbdis: 8:51am On Aug 10, 2012
Ok
Re: What by pek(m): 9:02am On Aug 10, 2012
So what do you want us to discuss in this section?
Re: What by akinreals: 9:07am On Aug 10, 2012
since u r married, it is not my car again, rather it is our car, u have to talk to your wife, if she agrees then tell her to keep d car key, if she does not agree, just forget about d car to avoid problem. God will still provide another money to buy better car. My 2cents though.
Re: What by Justpassing1: 1:08pm On Aug 10, 2012
pek: So what do you want us to discuss in this section?
LMAO!!!
Re: What by yungboss(m): 2:24pm On Aug 10, 2012
maybe they think you have so much money 'cos it seems you keep things to yourself alot. A responsible (which i think your wife is) woman should know how to control a situation as this, again, you could have created the impression that you do not care so much for the car that's why its being treated that way. Talk to your wife seriously about this, talk to your brother-inlaw, if he's an adult he wil understand what 'maintenance' means
in my younger days, 14,15...i never handled a car this way, learnt how to read and estimate the fuel guage and quatity respectively, radiator checks, dipstick oil check, tire check etc. Maintenance should be a priority in the course of getting accustomed to car usage.
Re: What by Ikenna351(m): 4:10pm On Aug 10, 2012
akinreals: since u r married, it is not my car again, rather it is our car, u have to talk to your wife, if she agrees then tell her to keep d car key, if she does not agree, just forget about d car to avoid problem. God will still provide another money to buy better car. My 2cents though.

^^^^What kind of crap is this? angry





Op,

You are simply killing yourself, by the manner you are handling this issue. There are certain times in marriage the man, Husband or father of the house will have to take some tough decisions. You dont want this and thats it. It doesnt mean you dont mean well for the family. For crying out loud, thats the only vehicle you have and you are letting someone killing that vehicle and you killing yourself with anxiety. The way I see it, the problem is not your wife, but you not been man enough to say no to what is detrimental to the family. You think I dont know what you are going through? I will tell you. Every moment you go out without the vehicle, you are wondering if you will come back and meet the vehicle in the condition you left it. Whenever you come back, you will quickly rush, go round the vehicle, inspecting it to see if there is a scratch or what was not there when left it. You will even be inspecting the tyre thread to know if it rolled or not. Trust me bro, you are giving yourself bigtime High BP. If your wife doesnt know how to drive yet, let no one move the vehicle in your absence until she starts driving or have someone who can drive, and not a learner. Yes, am not married yet. But I grew up with my parents together. I knew situations were dad took hard/tough decisions for the family and I knew where it led the family to. He didnt need us to like all his decisions we thought were harsh, even mum. But whenever i look back, i would thank God for growing up under that man's house. It would be a different thing thing if it was your wife that driving and bashing the vehicle and not some fellow that doesnt know what it takes to keep a vehicle on the road.

Besides, how could you in the first place allow him to have touch the key in the first place? Is this not an SUV we are talking about? Does SUV handle and steer like a car for you to give a learner you SUV key? The turning radius of SUV and car are not the same. It would be a different thing if he was tutored with SUV at the driving school, which the 2 weeks is not even enough. For now, until he masters driving cars well, he shouldnt be near SUV steering wheel. Maybe, you are waiting for the day he would drive out and you will be called that your vehicle has knocked down and kill someone/passerby, then maybe you will realize the what you have caused, not him. Because we were all once in that stage in life when were like that. But the tough and harsh decision from the adults helped and prevented us from wasting ourlives and others too, at that early life.

No one is saying your wife doesnt have a say on the vehicle you both own. Two of you own the SUV, not your brother or her brother. The more he keeps driving that vehicle, the more you are having resentment for the guy, and if care is not taken, it will creep into your relationship with your wife. Stop it when you still can.

Op, am sorry if i have sounded rude or uncomfortable to you. I just felt very uncomfortable reading the quoted above post "... just forget about d car to avoid proble. God will still provide another money to buy better car..." To the best of my knowledge, thats completely off the track. You dont solve a problem by shying away from it. Meaning, whenever such similar issue comes up, you run away or you stopped been the man she married. Anyway, this thread actually shouldnt be in this section. Yours is a pure family matter. But do know that we are not suppose to tell you what to do or how to run your family. None of us have that right. If you know what is best for your family, please go ahead and do. I wish you the best of luck.

Ikenna.

1 Like

Re: What by nahinbdis: 4:58pm On Aug 10, 2012
Ok
Re: What by yungboss(m): 4:56am On Aug 11, 2012
nahinbdis: [/b][b]

I appreciate hard talk... so no offence taken. The part above is my greatest concern. He is my elder sister's husband, not my wife's brother, so I can't really blame her. If there is anybody to blame, it's me becasue like they say, you lie on your bed the way you laid it! I will stop it now while trouble is at bay!
ikenna drove the nail perfectly, 'cos for me i wouldn't want to see my car (i love it so much) being handled tis way. Since your wife doesn't know how to drive and you don't want to offend anybody, simply take your keys away as you travel, or keep it somewhere known to only her period! I do not think you owe anybody an explanation.
As for the 2cent guy, the Op needs a 'one dollar' contribution.
Re: What by 677ano(m): 6:36pm On Aug 29, 2012
@OP

I will understand if your wife was the one driving the car
look be a man and tell your brother in-law that he can not drive your car

He should go and learn at the driving school, pay for the lessons if you have to
I believe he is showing off with your car, what nonsense your wife should not condone her brothers attitude.

Why can't he go and wait for the outcome of his visa appeal at his parents house
Re: What by bigx(m): 8:18am On Sep 03, 2012
677ano: @OP

I will understand if your wife was the one driving the car
look be a man and tell your brother in-law that he can not drive your car

He should go and learn at the driving school, pay for the lessons if you have to
I believe he is showing off with your car, what nonsense your wife should not condone her brothers attitude.

Why can't he go and wait for the outcome of his visa appeal at his parents house

It his elder sister's husband.
Re: What by fm7070: 11:25am On Sep 11, 2012
Bros,
as much as I would advice you to handle the issue on ground with care, I wouldn't want anything that will cause disaffection between you and your in-law. this is not the issue of 'our car' You're the one bearing the cost of fixing.
Simply tell him not to drive the car again.
If you and your wife can raise like 200k, you can get a small car which he can use to perfect his driving skill.
Infact, those kind of car is the best for learning driving (manual transmission).
If not, he will drive the car straight into a canal.
Re: What by ayojango(m): 1:58pm On Sep 11, 2012
nahinbdis: My brother-in-law has been living with me now for about 8months as he is awaiting the outcome of his visa appeal having been refused on first application. Along the line, he attended a driving school for two weeks so that he wouldn’t have to start from scratch by the time he relocates. However, he has now taken a liking to my SUV (my only car at the moment) to improve his driving skills. Much as I would want to see him improve, an SUV in my opinion is not a car for learners looking at its relative size and maneuverability. This is evident in the damage the car has suffered the several times he has manned it.

The very first time, he drove too closely to a parked bus and the side mirror was damaged; this I fixed at my cost. This made my wife and I to resolve that he should not drive the car and I more or less told him so. However, due to the nature of my job, I usually leave my car at home and join the staff bus. His strategy now is to convince my wife that he wants to teach her how to drive, or they should drive to church or he wants to drop her off at the office. The next time he drove the car, he drove over the spikes at a filling station and punctured the right tyre through the side wall. Though they bought a secondhand tyre to replace it, it does not tally with the other tyres making the car to look funny. I was quite upset at this but held back. Another time, he scratched the side of the car while backing out of the garage. That damage has not been fixed. Then another time I found that the middle hand rest was broken because they leaned on it too much and the horn also stopped working (this has also not been fixed). Then yesterday, he went to make some deliveries for my wife and run his own things with the car. I met him on my way back from work pushing the car because fuel had run out (of course the fuel indicator was on!) but he usually never wants to spend a dime of whatever funds he has. I had to bring out money for him to buy fuel as he said he was going home to collect money from my wife. By the time the car was fuelled and I took over driving, I felt much vibration and heard so much noise from the car suspension. I asked him why he was flying over potholes on bad inner city streets and his response was that he was under pressure to deliver my wife’s goods.

I do not want to lose my cool with him or wifey but I think I have run out of options. My latest resolve is to keep the car key in an undisclosed location when am not around. What do you think?
.


Be a man tell ur bro in law never to touch ur car or u send him packing and if ur wife complains tell her to keep quiet.
It really depends on who owns d car anyway.he knws u cnt act dts y he's misbehaving
Re: What by manutayo(m): 2:08pm On Sep 11, 2012
Take control of the car ban your wife and her brother in law from using it for sometimes. Then teach your brother in law how to maintain a car and be responsible. Also talk to your wife and plan to buy another car for her.
Re: What by Nobody: 11:17pm On Sep 11, 2012
No one else drives my cars. My Wife has her car and I have mine. Just because you're married doesn't mean that you have to give up some of your individuality.

Your car, your rule. No one, even your Wife, should be driving it without your exclusive permission.

Be a Man and lead your household if not someone else will do it for you.

1 Like

Re: What by Nobody: 11:31pm On Sep 11, 2012
Somorin#1:
No one else drives my cars. My Wife has her car and I have mine. Just because you're married doesn't mean that you have to give up some of your individuality.

Your car, your rule. No one, even your Wife, should be driving it without your exclusive permission.

Be a Man and lead your household if not someone else will do it for you.

An opinion I share whole heartedly.

1 Like

Re: What by lukkie(m): 2:57am On Sep 12, 2012
akinreals: since u r married, it is not my car again, rather it is our car, u have to talk to your wife, if she agrees then tell her to keep d car key, if she does not agree, just forget about d car to avoid problem. God will still provide another money to buy better car. My 2cents though.

Very silly comment.

@OP, Ikenna & Somorin have advised you well enough. But do you really need advice though? If you really love that SUV (Toyota Highlander i guess) as much as you say, you would have stopped this long ago. Please stand your feet before that guy destroys that car or worse still, kills someone with it.

Besides, under the new Lagos traffic law, he may put you in trouble. He doesn't have a driver's license and he drives your car around town.

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