Guys this is currently causing ripples in my extended family. The wife of one of my first cousin´s was beaten up by one of her husband´s immediate brothers. The lady in question has 2 children for her husband and just kind of needed help in her house so she requested that one of her husband´s nieces should come and live with them for a while. The little girl (14 years) that was sent has lived with them since she was 12 years. The little girl started having problems with the madam of the house and at the peak of the problems the lady beat her niece. Ofcourse her niece reported the issue to her parents and her father drove down immediately without asking what the problem was and gave her series of very dirty slaps. I heard she tried to complain but the series of slaps that followed each other after the other shut her up. I heard the brother-inlaw also shouted shut-up u are a woman.

Guys/Girls pls what are ur take on this matter. If u were her husband what would u do. If u were the lady in question that was beaten would u fight ur inlaw back or would u just take the beaten and not complain.

Thinking

People like too much drama. What happened to her reporting the man that beat her, regardless of relationship, to the authorities? Does she need to drag the whole family into it?

D insult is just too much,if i was d lady dat got slapped,ill hire hefty able bodied soildiers or police to beat d living day light out of d man dat slapped me or get him locked up for assault,apart from dat my parents will fully b aware of d affront.can u imajine d insult,so because u are a woman u shud b insulted and psychologically abused.of course my parents will know d type of beast d family are,gosh.smh.thank God for jesus,education and enlightenment

chaircover: its strange that a man who can afford to buy a car send his daughter to go and be a house-help somewhere.

Me I dont know what to say o! cos it looks like there are a lot of things not quite right from the onset. For example why would the kid go and report madams beating to her parents and not to her uncle (madams husband)

When the husband saw that madam and his niece were not getting on, why didn't the husband separate them and send the niece back to her parents? and let madam do her own housework

A lot of boundaries have been crossed in this family. The BIL has no right to slap his brothers wife.

People should learn to clean their own houses jare.

I was thinking of what to write and u took the words right out of my mouth, Madam CC - do u have a house help? I need to ask cos i'm starting to wonder how people like me and my mother and other woman I know without househelps manage, i'm wondering if really this world is reall or i'm living in some kind of "truman show" life

She should just receive the beatings....and the guy should be ready to have his both legs amputated.

chaircover: its strange that a man who can afford to buy a car send his daughter to go and be a house-help somewhere.

Me I dont know what to say o! cos it looks like there are a lot of things not quite right from the onset. For example why would the kid go and report madams beating to her parents and not to her uncle (madams husband)

When the husband saw that madam and his niece were not getting on, why didn't the husband separate them and send the niece back to her parents? and let madam do her own housework

A lot of boundaries have been crossed in this family. The BIL has no right to slap his brothers wife.

People should learn to clean their own houses jare.

Sorry let me clarify some things some people above me in this thread said. The girl is not a house help in the house. She is just staying with her uncle and aunt not cos her father can´t take care of her but at the request of her father´s brothers wife. Who was the one that beat her cos the aunt said she disrespected her. Also to add the whole family is involve in it and to tell you the truth, I think it would have gone completely worse if she had called the police or hired thugs to beat up her husbands immediate elder brother.

chaircover: its strange that a man who can afford to buy a car send his daughter to go and be a house-help somewhere.

Me I dont know what to say o! cos it looks like there are a lot of things not quite right from the onset. For example why would the kid go and report madams beating to her parents and not to her uncle (madams husband)

When the husband saw that madam and his niece were not getting on, why didn't the husband separate them and send the niece back to her parents? and let madam do her own housework

A lot of boundaries have been crossed in this family. The BIL has no right to slap his brothers wife.

People should learn to clean their own houses jare.

cos madam is the nickname we all call her aunty (my cousin´s wife)
My wife adviced her to do just that but she insisted that she returns late from work and is unable to cope

Tell me, is the husband aware that his wife received some slaps from a family member? What has he done about it?

jennykadry: Tell me, is the husband aware that his wife received some slaps from a family member? What has he done about it?

The incident happened yesterday. Yes the husband is a aware and is very mad about it. He was with my elder brother when his wife called him while crying asking him to hurry home and told him what happened. My brother said it took the will of God and 4 other relatives to restrain him from storming over to his elder brothers house then. My elder one had to drive him home in the company of these relatives cos he was so vexed and to make sure he does not visit his elder one and worsen the situation.

chaircover: i[b]ts strange that a man who can afford to buy a car send his daughter to go and be a house-help somewhere.
[/b]
Me I dont know what to say o! cos it looks like there are a lot of things not quite right from the onset. For example why would the kid go and report madams beating to her parents and not to her uncle (madams husband)

When the husband saw that madam and his niece were not getting on, why didn't the husband separate them and send the niece back to her parents? and let madam do her own housework

A lot of boundaries have been crossed in this family. The BIL has no right to slap his brothers wife.

People should learn to clean their own houses jare.

Madam CC you will be shocked at peoples sense of priority oh especially as it affects girls. When I tell people relating with in laws requires a lot of diplomacy they say am weak or like being goody two shoes, I never beat my husbands niece, if she does wrong I talk to her give her mild punishment but not beating, however even not beating her now is becoming an issue as am accused of spoiling her.
The Husband should handle this, report the matter and since the niece will not take corrections and even if she was maltreated not wait for her uncle to report to but knows how to go and report someone whose house she lives to her father then she should go back. African In Laws are a class of their own
The girls dad is a silly old man, he should hide his head in shame. As an elder should he be concerned with peace and conflict resolution or creating more conflict? Silly elder

What sort of yeye older brother is that,I'm sure the niece will be very proud of her self now, knowing she can be rude and her father will beat whoever she is rude to. The elder brother deserves a serious talking to and his daughter should be returned to him. Bringing police will only worsen issues.

Why did you people restrain him? Is the situation not bad as it is? A man's wife was slapped and you retrained him?

You must be kidding me,both the restrainer and the restrainee are kidding me

jennykadry: Why did you people restrain him? Is the situation not bad as it is? A man's wife was slapped and you retrained him?

You must be kidding me,both the restrainer and the restrainee are kidding me

I believe that only a lady can make the statement u made and go free making that statement. Even when my elder one told me they restrained him, I can confidently tell u, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I didnt want to hear something like that. I found it unfair then, but after I opened this thread I have spoke to my elder one and some older relatives about the issue. I realised as we were discussing the issue, that although my relatives restrainting him at that time may not have been the best thing to do but it certainly was the wisest. Yes, his wife was not happy on hearing that cos she now believes she doesn´t have any allies among us (her in-laws) and I don´t mean any disrespect by saying this but "women see things only in certain ways (pls someone correct me if am wrong).
I have repeatedly assured my cousin´s wife, that she should be patient and that the issue would be tackled appropriately. Have told her that it was clear she was wronged but that it has to be tackled by the family cos the slap was not just an insult to her but also to her husband and her husband´s people.

^^ I am so disappointed in all of you. I have seen cases like this and have seen real men handle it very well. A man's wife was slapped and you people are talking about tackling it wisely? I laugh in Chinese.

I think restraining the man is a wise decision, a deed that must be done.

God forbid this happened to me, I know I'll join in ratraining my husband because hmmm, he can kill his brother/uncle in that rage.

Done is done. The husband needs to send "signals" to his brother or whoever battered the wife that such an act, should not, under any circumstance repeat itself. Don't ask me how he'll send the "signal" oh. Lol

The little girl has to be sent back to her people immediately. A strict rule for all relatives put in place from henceforth.

I dont c anytin wrong wit wat the men did to her but i see everytin wrong in why the husband was held from avenging the wifes pain. You beat her up thats African and Modest according to the African Tradition well according to a husbands tradition you all deserve to loose 10% of blood. As the husband i wil react first before thinking. How can u slap my Wife and give a small boy chance to do the same. That is so un-fatherlike of the elder brother.

^^ so in clear words, it was okay slapping his wife? Chineke ekwela ihie ojo

jennykadry: ^^ so in clear words, it was okay slapping his wife? Chineke ekwela ihie ojo

Believe me in clear words its neva ok slapping a lady talk less of ur brother's wife. But like some said earliar on the deed had been done, its things that come later if not handled properly that can destroy things. Me for one, I don't think I can just watch and see a man slap my wife (God 4bid) without giving him one back. That said, it still may not be the best thing to do and am glad am not in the position to find out. My wife is even very angry with my elder brother 4 getting involved. Still facts remain the same, my cousin´s wife was slapped repeatedly by her husbands elder brother. Her husband was retsrained by relatives from retaliating. I just heard today that a family meeting has been scheduled to take place at (a neutral place) my elder ones house since he is older than the two parties. We are all to come with our wives.

its cases like this that makes me refrain from sending my husbands nephew and nieces on errands tho their close proximity to me. you just never how the family will interpret it on the long run. this entire mess would have been avoided if she had called on one of her relatives to assist with chores or better yet, hired a house help.
@drnoel
i assume the girl has alreadymoved out of your cousins's house. at the meeting, make sure you drum it d agbaya's head that what he did was aboslutely wrong...

Extended family living with their brothers, anties or relative cannot do away with this kind of issue. so be prepared to face the music anytime it comes up.

...theres no justifiable reason to beat up anothar man's wife. if his daughter reported her nko? he cant find out what really happend or could she have started beating her for no reason (when shes not insane). i hope you guys resolve the matter sha. abeg tell us how it went o

your story is not clear, the small lady in question,is she the husband's niece or the madam's niece pls read the story again it is confusing

ok, can we also hear the other side of the story too. i just won't judge based on all what you said.

OP, my take on ds mata s 4 d broda inlaw. Why did he slap d woman. Dats not a quality of a gentle man.

duality: ok, can we also hear the other side of the story too. i just won't judge based on all what you said.

GBAM!

duality: ok, can we also hear the other side of the story too. i just won't judge based on all what you said.

True, there may be another side to this story but that can never justify the action of the brother inlaw. You don't just go about slapping people's wives.

drnoel: Guys this is currently causing ripples in my extended family. The wife of one of my first cousin´s was beaten up by one of her husband´s immediate brothers. The lady in question has 2 children for her husband and just kind of needed help in her house so she requested that one of her husband´s nieces should come and live with them for a while. The little girl (14 years) that was sent has lived with them since she was 12 years. The little girl started having problems with the madam of the house and at the peak of the problems the lady beat her niece. Ofcourse her niece reported the issue to her parents and her father drove down immediately without asking what the problem was and gave her series of very dirty slaps. I heard she tried to complain but the series of slaps that followed each other after the other shut her up. I heard the brother-inlaw also shouted shut-up u are a woman.

Guys/Girls pls what are ur take on this matter. If u were her husband what would u do. If u were the lady in question that was beaten would u fight ur inlaw back or would u just take the beaten and not complain.

..i wudnt,u know y? Becos i dont have problem wit them,d only person i gat issues wit his my husband,when i dealt wit my husband,he in return go deal wit his family....gosh,i so much dislike a family who thinks its a man's world

bonna4u:
True, there may be another side to this story but that can never justify the action of the brother inlaw. You don't just go about slapping people's wives.

i concur

Okiki_Oluwa: OP, my take on ds mata s 4 d broda inlaw. Why did he slap d woman. Dats nt an sample of a gentle man.

Respect is reciprocal,d man has lost it..even force men dont beat ladies not to talk of someone's wife