Hello everybody, I havent been on NL in a while... Hope all of you are doing just well.

Well, my birthday was 2 days ago and my husband forgot completely, which is not even that big of a deal, I know we both have plenty of things in our minds and we are both a little stressed right now for various reasons, but my aunt called him to have him bring me to her place as her and my sisters had planned a little surprise, so he then remembered, came down, said happy birthday then went back upstairs and that was it. We went to my aunt's place, he stayed until it was time for him to get ready for work, then picked me up after work, we got home, he went to his office, and I kind of waited for him but then I heard him doing his computer things so I went to bed. In case you ask, we were fine, our marriage is at its best, and we do not have any major issues in our relationship.

To be honest, birthdays are usually not a big deal to me, never have. Last time I had a gift or party was over 20 years ago but we are newlyweds (our first anniversary is in a few days) and I really thought that he would get me even just a birthday card, nothing expensive. His birthday is in a month and a half and I have a been planning a surprise party with family and friends, just to show him in a special way that day that we appreciate him.
I brought it up to him that I was a little hurt that he didn't even put any thought in making me feel at least a little special, he told me he was sorry and that was it; I thought to myself that maybe now that he knows how I feel maybe he will try and make it up for it but nothing and that upset me even more but I just kept it to myself since I didn't want keep talking about it. But he kept asking me what was wrong, why I was so quiet, so I told him how even after I mentioned to him that I was kind of hurt, he still didn't seem to care and just moved on and he got upset that I was exaggerating and walked away.

I consider him my best friend and my soulmate and I stand by him firmly and as strong as I can, we have been through a lot and I really see us as a team and it would have made my day for him to have done even the slightest thing, even just an e-card. It's nice when the person that you love so much recognizes or appreciates what you do, it gives you strength and courage to keep doing. I was looking forward to having a good time with him.

SO I guess my question to you is, am I taking it too far? Was I exaggerating? How would you feel if it were you? Married men, please give me your opinion. Am I being juvenile?

@poster, what's your hubby's background in relation to birthdays? Were birthdays celebrated in his home while growing up as a child?

Is he a Jehovah's Witness?

Much ado about nothing. Giving yourself heartache because of irrelevant birthday. I don't get it, What's so special about that day sef, is it not just like every other day?

Did you celebrate any Birthday say during courtship?

Go to your hubby and communicate to him everything you have typed and posted here. Strangers on the internet cannot help you with this one.

My D̶̲̥̅̊έA̶̲̥̅̊я,I can understand how you feel.We women sometimes ve this whole picture of a fairytale marriage but then reality presents us with another thing.Try not to make it bore you .Also understand that its just one of your many birthdays together so,there re still more to come.I dont know whether you re working but on my birthdays I dont wait for ANYBODY cos NO ONE feels it with me.I take myself out and give myself a treat,starting from a good massage in a beauty palour.it might sound expensive but I save for it.Next time,lead the̶̲̥̅̊ way by showing excitement about it,beleive me he ѠȊ̝̊̅ℓℓ come along.Enjoy your marriage

Ђ☺w̶̲̥̅̊ did he celebrate ur birthday wen Ɣ☺U̶̲̥̅̊ weere courting,if he was dis nonchallant then stop stresin urself,but if he made an effort then welll...
Anywayz I feel hez got smthn up his sleeve,he wants Ɣ☺U̶̲̥̅̊ to stop talkin bout it,then voila he'll spring a fab suprise on u

Efemena_xy: @poster, what's your hubby's background in relation to birthdays? Were birthdays celebrated in his home while growing up as a child?

Is he a Jehovah's Witness?

perfect question.. in my own house we never made much of a big deal in celebrating bdays and if i am involved with someone who has, i have to put that into consideration, if not, there might be slight tiffs about things

the truth is, there are only two ways of dealing with hurt: either you take it as one of doz tns and forget about it, or you talk it out with the person who caused it in the first place. From ur post, i get u arnt able to move past ur hubby's nonchalance about ur birhtday. Thus, i advice u talk to him about it. Just be gentle about it, that's all. If after dat he continues to maintain that stance, den just be. If he isnt the insensitive type, he'd probably bring it up again himself so as to trash it out once and for all.

your best friend and your soul mate did all this? you probably should be reconsidering those titles you gave him.

go and find a better friend,

I have to admit I am very bad with birthdays, i don't bother much with my own talkless of others but since you told him you were hurt he should have gone the extra mile to make you feel special, look at all the planning you are doing for him?
I don't know if its just that your husband isnt much of a romantic, but that doesnt really matter- you guys are partners and should be trying to make each other happy. Talk to your husband and open up about what you expect from him and try to spend more time with him, he might have just forgotten a marriage is made of 2 human beings not just one. How will he feel if you forgot to feed him? Forgot to sleep with him? forgot to acknowledge his presence in the home?

queensmith: your best friend and your soul mate did all this? you probably should be reconsidering those titles you gave him.

go and find a better friend,

I have to admit I am very bad with birthdays, i don't bother much with my own talkless of others but since you told him you were hurt he should have gone the extra mile to make you feel special, look at all the planning you are doing for him?
I don't know if its just that your husband isnt much of a romantic, but that doesnt really matter- you guys are partners and should be trying to make each other happy. Talk to your husband and open up about what you expect from him and try to spend more time with him, he might have just forgotten a marriage is made of 2 human beings not just one. How will he feel if you forgot to feed him? Forgot to sleep with him? forgot to acknowledge his presence in the home?

This is why little girls should not be giving advise to others.

^^ The number one problem with anything Nigerian, you have to deal with soo many tramps- #dismissed

If it were me, it will be a big deal oooooo, who says it is not a big deal.?? i agree with those that say maybe he is not a "birthday" kinda guy....but still not remebering your wife's birthday is just rubbish....i personally do not joke with my birthdays or anyone else's birthday for that matter./..and for my hubby to forget my birthday, even when i brought it up to him, he just said "sorry" ...odi egwu.....

My dear...his birthday party will so be "on hold".......only that two wrongs don't make a right.....

i will wake-up in the morning on his birthday...and scream "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"...then tell him this is how you say it, since you don't know....

Bake cake and buy wine...and tell him...this is how you buy it, since you don't have an idea.....

Take him out to lunch or dinner.....and remind him...this is how you do it, since you don't know...

Buy him gifts and present the gifts to him...and tell him, this how you buy gifts....

Then give him a strong ride....at night that will make him convulse and shiver...and tell him finally...this is how you f/u/ck/ on your birthday since you don't have any idea.....

And ask him in the morning, "hope you get it now? i don't expect a repeat!!!!

sasi_malia:

SO I guess my question to you is, am I taking it too far? Was I exaggerating? How would you feel if it were you? Married men, please give me your opinion. Am I being juvenile?

No. You are not exaggerating or being juvenile. Your husband is wrong. Not for forgetting your birthday necessarily (a human error) but mostly for his attitude afterwards. The normal response when a spouse forgets the other's birthday is deep remorse and immediately making amends. His dismissiveness when you expressed your concern is troubling, not just for this issue but for his attitude in general. Is he very proud? Unable to admit when he is wrong? You may be in for some rough times if that's the case.

It's oddly possible that he really does not see birthdays as a big deal (so maybe spare yourself the hassles and cancel his surprise party) in which case you just need to spell out exactly your expectations for your future birthdays so there won't be any more confusion. Even if he does not see birthdays as anything (I honestly find it hard to believe that he does not know the etiquette regarding birthdays), he still needs to listen to your point of view instead of dismissing it.

ronkebp: If it were me, it will be a big deal oooooo, who says it is not a big deal.?? i agree with those that say maybe he is not a "birthday" kinda guy....but still not remebering your wife's birthday is just rubbish....i personally do not joke with my birthdays or anyone else's birthday for that matter./..and for my hubby to forget my birthday, even when i brought it up to him, he just said "sorry" ...odi egwu.....

My dear...his birthday party will so be "on hold".......only that two wrongs don't make a right.....

i will wake-up in the morning on his birthday...and scream "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"...then tell him this is how you say it, since you don't know....

Bake cake and buy wine...and tell him...this is how you buy it, since you don't have an idea.....

Take him out to lunch or dinner.....and remind him...this is how you do it, since you don't know...

Buy him gifts and present the gifts to him...and tell him, this how you buy gifts....

Then give him a strong ride....at night that will wake him convulse and shiver...and tell him finally...this is how you f/u/ck/ on your birthday since you don't have any idea.....

And ask him in the morning, "hope you get it now? i don't expect a repeat!!!!

Lol! Good one!

sasi_malia: Hello everybody, I havent been on NL in a while... Hope all of you are doing just well.

Well, my birthday was 2 days ago and my husband forgot completely, which is not even that big of a deal, I know we both have plenty of things in our minds and we are both a little stressed right now for various reasons, but my aunt called him to have him bring me to her place as her and my sisters had planned a little surprise, [size=18pt]so he then remembered, came down, said happy birthday [/size]then went back upstairs and that was it. We went to my aunt's place, he stayed until it was time for him to get ready for work, then picked me up after work, we got home, he went to his office, and I kind of waited for him but then I heard him doing his computer things so I went to bed. In case you ask, we were fine, our marriage is at its best, and we do not have any major issues in our relationship.

[size=18pt]To be honest, birthdays are usually not a big deal to me, never have. Last time I had a gift or party was over 20 years ago [/size] but we are newlyweds (our first anniversary is in a few days) and I really thought that he would get me even just a birthday card, nothing expensive. His birthday is in a month and a half and I have a been planning a surprise party with family and friends, just to show him in a special way that day that we appreciate him.
I brought it up to him that I was a little hurt that he didn't even put any thought in making me feel at least a little special, [size=18pt]he told me he was sorry [/size]and that was it; I thought to myself that maybe now that he knows how I feel maybe he will try and make it up for it but nothing and that upset me even more but I just kept it to myself since I didn't want keep talking about it. But he kept asking me what was wrong, why I was so quiet, so I told him how even after I mentioned to him that I was kind of hurt, he still didn't seem to care and just moved on and he got upset that I was exaggerating and walked away.

OP,

When was the last time you had sex, i mean good sex? Do you get laid often? Do you cuu-mm? Cos lack of sexx can cause all these kain crankiness and putting emphasis on meaningless things

From you post you said the below, He said a belated birthday, Later he said he was sorry and you are still sulking

So what more do you expect? For him to jump into River Thames because he forgot your birthday

Women when they don't have major issues in their relationship they try to look for minor ones just to cause some wahala

The guy doesnt cheat, he provides for his family, he isnt a drunk wifebeater, He respects you and your family, and many good things

But the tantrums now is because he forgot your birthday, He didnt close the door properly, He turned the TV too loud?? Niqqaaa pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Maybe the man too should be upset that you didnt celebrate when Arsenal won the game with him, You dont see whats exciting in the Harley Davidson Bike he saw on TV, You are not fanatical about Usain Bolt, You dont like going to gun range etc

The guy is even wondering why you are moody and angry maybe because he didnt understand you are being Juvenile.

You can divorce him for this cardinal crime he committed If that would make you happier

Oshi o da.

Nile kpako!!!!!!

Really abi you just want my attention by that your post... don't worry i have noticed you...Dayo...

^^ Washere. Oshi o da nile pako.

All these mood on top birthday? when there would be another next yr. Maybe she should have killed those friends and families who didnt give her gifts on her birthday for the past 20yrs. So the frustration of 20yrs you wan put am on one man

Seriously, Oshi ko da nile pako gann ni

dayokanu: ^^ Washere. Oshi o da nile pako.

All these mood on top birthday? when there would be another next yr. Maybe she should have killed those friends and families who didnt give her gifts on her birthday for the past 20yrs. So the frustration of 20yrs you wan put am on one man

Seriously, Oshi ko da nile pako gann ni

You are not serious!!!!!!, i am personally a birthday person....do not think you will be my husband and forget my birthdays.......Naabi!!!! it will not happen, infact i expect you to tell me once it is 12.00 midnight 23rd of April "Happy birthday"...no joke!!!! send me flowers for every hour of the day...(24 bouquet of roses in toatl) and i am expecting special stuffs.....do not bring in arsenal or manchester united winning a match into this...you celeberate your birthday once a year..and you as a husband cannot remember that....that is how special you think your wife is. :

^^ Her friends and family didnt remember to buy her gifts for 20yrs. Has she killed them? Since birthdays matter to her sooo much

Arsenal maybe matters to the Husband So should the husband hold her to task that she cant throw a party for him because Arsenal won a trophy.

This is a clear case of no trouble but strive to find one where none exist.

Some women are usually disturbed when they dont have any wahala in their relationship. This isnt the first time we would be hearing such. Most women thrive on drama. Maybe when she sits with her fellow women who are discussing their marital problem she feels awkward that she has nothing bad to say about her husband

Dayo....this is her "husband" we are talking about...not family members nor friends...and she did not say heaven must come down because her hubby did not remember, infact she took the whole matter well with enough maturity....to some people (like me), birthdays, valentine's day, anniversary...mean alot to me....i do not expect my spouse, my husband, to forget those special days....if every day cannot be valentines day or birthdays, at least remember some important days that matter.

The guy said Happy birthday when he remembered.

The guy said he was sorry later when she said she didnt like it

What more does she want? A human sacrifice?

queensmith: your best friend and your soul mate did all this? you probably should be reconsidering those titles you gave him.

go and find a better friend,

I have to admit I am very bad with birthdays, i don't bother much with my own talkless of others but since you told him you were hurt he should have gone the extra mile to make you feel special, look at all the planning you are doing for him?
I don't know if its just that your husband isnt much of a romantic, but that doesnt really matter- you guys are partners and should be trying to make each other happy. Talk to your husband and open up about what you expect from him and try to spend more time with him, he might have just forgotten a marriage is made of 2 human beings not just one. How will he feel if you forgot to feed him? Forgot to sleep with him? forgot to acknowledge his presence in the home?

This individual definitely lacks common sense. Because he didn't throw party for her, therefore she should go find another best friend?

Women are something else. How you equate forgetting a birthday (which the op has already admitted is not even a big deal to her) to forgetting to feed, bang or acknowledge deserves an award for magic of the century.

The OP is just a drama queen. She has admitted the marriage is in the best of times, still she is itching for a quarrel.

Eeyah.

Poster, you are clearly affected. If only this men thinks exactly like us, what a wonderful world it will be. See you planning surprise birthday for him etc. hmmph!, don't take it to heart jare iyawo titun, awon okunrin yi sha.

If your husband is the forgetful type, it is better to prevent the hurt that you will feel and tell him clearly that '''dear next week is our . . . . . .etc etc''' so you will never know if he was going to forget!

Also, we sometimes have to explain it to them words by words and say it loud and clear what we want, because apparently they cannot read minds hmmph! Besides, have you in the past hinted on your birthday not been a big deal?

Anyway, thrash it out, don't do the understanding wife thing, your marriage is relatively new, start setting your boundaries now, what you will tolerate and what you won't . Birthday is a big deal to you, so be it. Every damn year whether he likes it or not, he must acknowledge it. If that is what will make you happy, then he must to do it!

dayokanu: The guy said Happy birthday when he remembered.

The guy said he was sorry later when she said she didnt like it

What more does she want? A human sacrifice?

Lol.....he said "sorry"...how sorry was he really? just sorry and it is over....."happy birthday" just like that....to who your enemy?...puhlease!!!! it is soooooo unromantic.

vanitty: Eeyah.

Anyway, thrash it out, don't do the understanding wife thing, your marriage is relatively new, start setting your boundaries now, what you will tolerate and what you won't . Birthday is a big deal to you, so be it. Every damn year whether he likes it or not, he must acknowledge it. If that is what will make you happy, then he must to do it!

Naso!!!!!!

dayokanu: The guy said Happy birthday when he remembered.

The guy said he was sorry later when she said she didnt like it

What more does she want? A human sacrifice?

True!
Most women are just drama queens looking for trouble where there is none.
He said sorry when he realised his mistake,why not deal with it and move on.
@op,
i feel you are making a mountain out of a mole hill,if you feel your husband has offended you,why not talk to him directly and get it out of your system instead of allowing resentment eat you up.
I feel you are bitter because you were planning a suprise b/day for your husband and expected him to reciprocate the gesture on your b/day too.
You have a good thing going in your life,do not destroy it with bitterness.
Lots of the feminists on this forum will give you advice that will destroy your marriage and will be the same people to accuse you of lacking self esteem when you open another thread about having issues with your husband,smartly forgetting the fact that they put you in a quagmire with their ill advise in the first place. Many of these women/feminists are in worst marriages than yours be will provide you with all kinds of vile advise and sit back and poke fun at you when it happens!
Use your brains and solve this matter yourself. A birthday is just like any other day.
Do not look for non existent trouble in your marriage. A word is enough for the wise!

Tudór6: This individual definitely lacks common sense. Because he didn't throw party for her, therefore she should go find another best friend?

Women are something else. How you equate forgetting a birthday (which the op has already admitted is not even a big deal to her) to forgetting to feed, bang or acknowledge deserves an award for magic of the century.

The OP is just a drama queen. She has admitted the marriage is in the best of times, still she is itching for a quarrel.

You are obviously an illiterate, if that is what you read from my post I advise you re do your primary education.

Richvkunt:


True!
Most women are just drama queens looking for trouble where there is none.
He said sorry when he realised his mistake,why not deal with it and move on.
@op,
i feel you are making a mountain out of a mole hill,if you feel your husband has offended you,why not talk to him directly and get it out of your system instead of allowing resentment eat you up.
I feel you are bitter because you were planning a suprise b/day for your husband and expected him to reciprocate the gesture on your b/day too.
You have a good thing going in your life,do not destroy it with bitterness.
Lots of the feminists on this forum will give you advice that will destroy your marriage and will be the same people to accuse you of lacking self esteem when you open another thread about having issues with your husband,smartly forgetting the fact that they put you in a quagmire with their ill advise in the first place. Many of these women/feminists are in worst marriages than yours be will provide you with all kinds of vile advise and sit back and poke fun at you when it happens!
Use your brains and solve this matter yourself. A birthday is just like any other day.
Do not look for non existent trouble in your marriage. A word is enough for the wise!

Here we go!!!!advice of the century!!!!!

queensmith:

You are obviously an illiterate, if that is what you read from my post I advise you re do your primary education.

I have tried to help you by showing you lack common sense. Please refrain from giving advice to anyone now or in the next 3800 years. The putrid stuffs you have spewed here is considered biohazard. Please I beg you. No need to get all violent with me, take deeeep breaths and calm down.

Tudór6:
I have tried to help you by showing you lack common sense. Please refrain from giving advice to anyone now or in the next 3800 years. The putrid stuffs you have spewed here is considered biohazard. Please I beg you. No need to get all violent with me, take deeeep breaths and calm down.

that pretty much sums it up, I wasted my time paying attention to a bloody animal. youare #dismissed