hey, Nlanders, I am a bit confused now and want you guys to properly advice me on what to do.
the gist.
I have this girl in school who has been a very good and I must add dear friend to me.. when we became close, she made it clear to me that she has a guy she loves so much and that we could just remain friends and I was very ok with that... somehow along the line she developed this affection for me and has currently told her boyfriend that she is no longer interested in the relationship. the guy in question has made so many sacrifice for her and is even interested in marrying her as she made me know. Honestly I do love her and would want the best for her and I may not be able to go as far as the guy has to make her happy. I told her to take it easy and weigh her options so as not to have regrets in the future and she is angry with me for that, possibly thinking that I am rejecting her. I begged her to let's discuss this to night in a bid to buy time to gather opinion from fellow Nlanders. please should I take all she"s got on offer or should I advise her to stick to the guy? I even gave her the option of dating both of us

Bad idea, what happens when she finds someone else? Leave you for him?

Personally, i always prefer a lady that takes the time to get done with a relationship and mourn it first rather than jumping from one relationship to another. These who do so are not exactly trustworthy when it comes to relationships. They will always move to where they feel they will get the best offers, and no deep feelings of commitment.

Moreover it's obvious you don't care about her as much. If you did, you did, you wouldn't be suggesting she dates both of you. That is just the language of someone who doesn't mind the booty but doesn't want the responsibilities that comes with it.

If you are looking for something serious, not her. For play, knock yourself out. She deserves it anyways. Grass is not always greener in the either side.

deniyor: Personally, i always prefer a lady that takes the time to get done with a relationship and mourn it first rather than jumping from one relationship to another. These who do so are not exactly trustworthy when it comes to relationships. They will always move to where they feel they will get the best offers, and no deep feelings of commitment.

Moreover it's obvious you don't care about her as much. If you did, you did, you wouldn't be suggesting she dates both of you. That is just the language of someone who doesn't mind the booty but doesn't want the responsibilities that comes with it.

If you are looking for something serious, not her. For play, knock yourself out. She deserves it anyways. Grass is not always greener in the either side.

+100..... God bless you.
Op, this all you need.

sexkillz:
It's allowed. It's what she wants. It's her choice. It doesn't come better than this. A lady asking you out. . .

You probably treat her better than her supposed boyfriend, and in relationships, emotional compatibility should hold sway. If you have feelings for her, don't turn her down, and if you know you are a time waster, let her know as well.

Be honest with your feelings.

she's not asking me out, we've been friends for long as a matter of fact a girl gave up on me seeing how close both of us were, I dont know but I just think I cant go through what the guy has gone for her sake and I am worried that the guy will be terribly shaken...I've been there before and it is not a good way to go

deniyor: Personally, i always prefer a lady that takes the time to get done with a relationship and mourn it first rather than jumping from one relationship to another. These who do so are not exactly trustworthy when it comes to relationships. They will always move to where they feel they will get the best offers, and no deep feelings of commitment.

Moreover it's obvious you don't care about her as much. If you did, you did, you wouldn't be suggesting she dates both of you. That is just the language of someone who doesn't mind the booty but doesn't want the responsibilities that comes with it.

If you are looking for something serious, not her. For play, knock yourself out. She deserves it anyways. Grass is not always greener in the either side.

no

deniyor: Personally, i always prefer a lady that takes the time to get done with a relationship and mourn it first rather than jumping from one relationship to another. These who do so are not exactly trustworthy when it comes to relationships. They will always move to where they feel they will get the best offers, and no deep feelings of commitment.

Moreover it's obvious you don't care about her as much. If you did, you did, you wouldn't be suggesting she dates both of you. That is just the language of someone who doesn't mind the booty but doesn't want the responsibilities that comes with it.

If you are looking for something serious, not her. For play, knock yourself out. She deserves it anyways. Grass is not always greener in the either side.

no she deserves the very best from me, especially for what she has been to me

A similar occurence apnd to me sum months bak. Bt gues d option I took?

I remaind SINGLE!!!
(hint: I applied d 'LAW OF KARMA).
Folo ur heart bro. . .

That girl is not trustworthy , if she has the mind to leave a guy who has sacrificed for her , then nothing should stop her when the infatuation is over and another guy shows up

You know better.

just know when she find someone else she gonna leave ur A*ss

Well, don't let her leave that guy because of you. Give her space, but try and be clear that you care about her and wants what's best, and are trying to minimise hurting the other guy, because karma will catch both of you. Then free her (pls don't run openly into another woman's arms, you know you guys can be daft like that). Just give her space, if she decided to date you, let her end things properly with the other guy. because sometimes, it may be the grass is greener on the other side and you're the greener grass and she's been comparing and not seeing you clearly, but putting down her bf.

What will happen when she finds someone new? She will dump u too
(Karma is a biitch) so use your head!

*SMH* @D option of dating d both of u....shws d type of boyfrnd u wil turn out to be...

Roseey0: *SMH* @D option of dating d both of u....shws d type of boyfrnd u wil turn out to be...

Come on, maybe I meant we being good friends as she keeps her boyfriend... Besides I have been heartbroken b4

First that girl is confused and doesn't know what she wants. Secondly, Its obvious that she's blinded by her lust for you that's why she feels dating you is a better option than marrying her boyfriend.

Finally, I would suggest that you be honest when next you discuss this issue with her. From your posts, Its obvious that you yourself don't feel a soft spot for her. Let her be aware of you true feelings towards so she would know the next step to take cos your silence might be misinterpreted by her. And she might feel you lover her deep down but you're still battling with you guts to publicly admit it to her.

So in order to avoid giving her a fools hope I'd say have a heart to heart with her. Cos if you ask me, I'd say there's no point embarking on an aimless and pointless journey. Life is short, so utilize it constructively and reasonable so that you would have no regrets in the near future.

Good luck.

Don't invest in this relationship, whether she abandoned the other guy or not it's none of your business, the choice is her's. put it straight to her that the dicision she is about to take is solely hers. Never depend on her love, for sure one day she will do the same to you. dont depend on her love, guide your heart always pls. I have seen this severally.

sexkillz:
It's allowed. It's what she wants. It's her choice. It doesn't come better than this. A lady asking you out. . .

You probably treat her better than her supposed boyfriend, and in relationships, emotional compatibility should hold sway. If you have feelings for her, don't turn her down, and if you know you are a time waster, let her know as well.

Be honest with your feelings.

Sexkillz, I am rather disappointed in u 4 the advice u gave him. The situation does not sound complete and u ask him to carry on. Yes she may have been a friend but Sexkillz, how does one get close to another guy´s gf without putting urself in the bf´s shoes or making her feel u r a suitable replacement. He should tell us if he asked her out, how many close encounters did they have b4 she started changing her mind about her present bf. Remember he mentioned her present bf and her have been thru a lot 2gether. look, any guy that have dated a lot would know women tick somehow but would only start having second thought if u tempt her enough. How often did he tempt her and with what. I also know guy would do a lot for a pretty girl so am sure he must have tempted her. How is the present bf, is he silly or an asshole. Do u have more effisy than him, did u use it to tempt the girl. I would rather not give this guy any advice till her tells us the truth of the matter.Oya ova to u, tell us the truth.
Sorry but I won´t date any girl that left her present bf for me. Just as she left the guy, she will leave u once she finds someone she thinks is better than u.

Well I think it's fairly clear that you don't want her to leave her boyfriend for you, otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread called "Help, She Wants To Leave Her Boyfriend For Me"!!!. You should tell her you're not interested in being her boyfriend & are happy to remain close friends.

mcdokwe: hey, Nlanders, I am a bit confused now and want you guys to properly advice me on what to do.
the gist.
I have this girl in school who has been a very good and I must add dear friend to me.. when we became close, she made it clear to me that she has a guy she loves so much and that we could just remain friends and I was very ok with that... somehow along the line she developed this affection for me and has currently told her boyfriend that she is no longer interested in the relationship. the guy in question has made so many sacrifice for her and is even interested in marrying her as she made me know. Honestly I do love her and would want the best for her and I may not be able to go as far as the guy has to make her happy. I told her to take it easy and weigh her options so as not to have regrets in the future and she is angry with me for that, possibly thinking that I am rejecting her. I begged her to let's discuss this to night in a bid to buy time to gather opinion from fellow Nlanders. please should I take all she"s got on offer or should I advise her to stick to the guy? I even gave her the option of dating both of us

guy u don jazz the babe or wetin?

What do you need help for. I mean she wants to leave her boyfriend for you, come on isn't that what you want.

sexkillz:
It doesn't come better than this. A lady asking you out. . .

Change of tactics

mcdokwe:
Honestly I do love her and would want the best for her and I may not be able to go as far as the guy has to make her happy. I begged her to let's discuss this to night in a bid to buy time to gather opinion from fellow Nlanders. I even gave her the option of dating both of us

You may not be able to go as far as the guy to make her happy - you know yourself better than any of us. So don't start what you won't finish.

Why do you want to discuss with her after nairaland has spoken?? Are you waiting for the chop and clean mouth advice?

Lol @ the third one - so big of you, giving her the option to date you both!

My advice, you already said no. Let her be.

If you think you can't step up then keep out except of course you want to CACM!

Truth is, I have fancied the idea of both of us together. Besides the guilt, or fear of not meeting upto expectation(because of what I now see myself to be due to previous severe heartbreak), she's been a darling and as it stands my confidant and best friend so far. For those advising CACM, she's not the type I would want 2 do a thing like that to. My giving her the option of dating both of us is just so that she will know what's best for her and make a choice... She's an angel and shouldn't ever have a regret

Oh lordy.