I got this from facebook and thought I should share with my beloved NLDers. Debrief and CC,,,please your inputs will be hightly appreciated.

I need sincere advice from your readers on my issue. I have been married for 2 and a half years with a child and I'm 5months pregnant expecting my second child. I'm really unhappy in my marriage - I think its leading to depression, I don't get to sleep @ night and I cry a lot. My marital problems started practically on the second week after I got married.
He was a different person before we got married, he was sweet, understanding and caring. But after we got married I saw a different side of him. He was my first and only sexual partner. I discovered I had an std 2weeks into our marriage, it was really a difficult time for me and that same time he was seriously toasting his colleague in the office. I have since forgiven him. He has really hurt my feelings deeply in the first one year of the marriage, I remember when he asked a girl to snap her nude pix and send it to him on his bb, and many more hurtful stuffs he did in our 1st year of marriage. After he lost his job, I ve been the one taking care of everything around the house. He is currently running his business and which I still support him that I ve nothing left of my salary for myself. He comes home late, he doesn't help me around the house - instead he helps to scatter. I work a 8am to 5pm job,I have no one helping at home, I pick our child up from daycare on my way home. The only time I rest is bed time, while he has a lot of time, which he prefers to use on the internet and he likes going out late at night. He doesn't take me to his functions, recently his cousin’s wife put to bed and I had parcelled some things for her but my husband didn't take me along he only collected what I had for them. I feel really sad. I get scared at night when he is away- I don't sleep when he goes for his night outings, when he comes back around 3am I act as if I'm sleeping cos anytime I try to talk to him he walks away. He never talks about anything, we don't gist, I lost most of my friends after I got married. I'm always feeling lonely, all I do when that feelings come is to play with our child. We haven't made love for 5months now, I try initiating it but he said he wants to sleep. Majority of the time he sleeps in a separate room. I think I still love him, I wish my home can be normal for once. I tried talking to him when he was driving me to an atm to get money to buy things for the house, he parked and got out of the car - he said he doesn't want to talk about anything. I have no one to talk to. During the first year of our marriage, I wanted a divorce but my parent kicked against it. I have no support. I am emotionally down, he doesn't even care about my condition-he hasn't even asked how the pregnancy is. That's if he even knows how old the pregnancy is. He seems happy when he talks to people on the fone. Its like a loveless marriage. I miss being loved, begin cared for,making love, discussing with someone. I'm so confused. I don't know what step to take next.This man took away my smiles, joy of being pregnant, joy of having children.I feel lonely and emotionally stressed- can't just stop thinking. I need sincere advice, I need to hear some positive things to move me forward.

@OP, since the real OP is not here, our advice will not count, so lets wait till it happens to you, i promise, i will advice you then...

You don't have to comment. Just view and move on.
How many stories do you think the real victims are here. Some member could learn a thing or two from ther posts,don't you think so?

@ chanchit,You don't have to comment. Just view and move on.
How many stories do you think the real victims are here. Some member could learn a thing or two from ther posts,don't you think so?

The guy is g,ay.

Hehe. The 2nd poster is mad funny.

@blank, wonderful observation. Rofl

@topic, they've not made love for over 5 months but she's 5 months pregnant ?

who wrote this script?obviously not tchidi Chikere.

@ify,no be small thing my sister.
But maybe the last time they did it,they didn't know she was pregnant. It happens naw!
@blank,even gays would be nice out of sympathy for the wife.

The above example is reason why I don't advice people to become ZOMBIES after marriage. You lost all your friends because of him. . . . the one in the story seems to have no one to talk to because of marriage and no life at all as well. Fix those two issues and it might become easier to endure what you need to in your marriage.

Story Story

1. Nollywood movie plot.

2. That is not a marriage. More like prison

She better go and find friends and like her own life. Life is too short for sappy stories.

She might also want to go to church for prayers, I recommend Jehova sharp sharp fire ministries.

Dump his ass.if u have a job

obowunmi: 1. Nollywood movie plot.

2. That is not a marriage. More like prison

She better go and find friends and like her own life. Life is too short for sappy stories.

She might also want to go to church for prayers, I recommend Jehova sharp sharp fire ministries.

Let's discuss this here. How many of the millions of women who have so far run into church to help them solve their marriage problems have had those problems solved? In most every church you attend, especially in Nigeria, there are bound to be a population of women who attend church, Sunday after Sunday, in hopes that somehow their marriage problems will be miraculously solved. Many of these same women become mentors for younger women who come in with the same hopes, and so on. As this continues, the number of women stuck in abandoned marriages continue to rise. Is this practice working at all?

@Kobo, good observation.

Religion and delusion go hand in hand.

I won't scold you because all these things I did them in my first marriage and more. In Nigerian when one spouse is misbehaving instead of addressing that they make the other one work extra hard. I am sure she has been told repeatedly not to "nag"n to be obiedient, humble and dress well give s3x, bla bla bla. One person is misbehaving and instead of working on that we make the other one turn super human, carrying the marriage on one persons shoulder when the other is not willing to put in their quota of the work.
Let me tell you just stop all that "virtoeus woman" stuff. You are not super woman, you will die from stress and heart ache if you go at this rate because he will feel justified and doesn't expect any opposition because you are rewarding bad behavior. A woman should be virtoues to a Christ centered loving man, being a virtous woman to a bad man is like giving a pig gold, he doesn't know the value and will rub it in mud, it will still be gold but it will be stained and dirty. Madam, get up, and stop. Totally ignore him, stop rewarding bad behaviour.
If he doesn't come back early, go to sleep, you are working he is not why are you staying up waiting for him? Go and sleep, let him keep a key. Let him stay in the guest room, ignore him, get a life, take care of yourself, he is behaving like a child and should be treated as such.
I am telling you as someone who has been there and done that, I had to relearn what and how marriage should really be, not one person suffering, fasting and praying but 2 people working together.
If he wants to be silly then treat him as such, when he is attention starved and broke he will look for a way to work on his marriage, if he doesn't work on it then let him go.
What are our fathers raising in the name of husbands these days?

Kobojunkie:

Let's discuss this here. How many of the millions of women who have so far run into church to help them solve their marriage problems have had those problems solved? In most every church you attend, especially in Nigeria, there are bound to be a population of women who attend church, Sunday after Sunday, in hopes that somehow their marriage problems will be miraculously solved. Many of these same women become mentors for younger women who come in with the same hopes, and so on. As this continues, the number of women stuck in abandoned marriages continue to rise. Is this practice working at all?

True talk! She should devise a means of making herself happy. Mayb reading novels or any book that can motivate her and pray to her God!

obowunmi: @Kobo, good observation.

Religion and delusion go hand in hand.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not here saying that those who buy into religion are in some way deluded. What I am wondering is, isn't it time people focused a bit more on making the right decisions first than waiting for things to go wrong and then running to God for fixes? I know it is easier said than done but I don't really think advising her to run into church is going to help her case considering there are so many things the lady in the picture obviously got wrong and might still have wrong. Church is great and all but we as humans need to do the right things too.

Also, totally stop giving him money. Use the money for yourself and your kids.

Ignore his gay arse and live life for yourself.
Make new friends, dress up and start feeling better about yourself.

safeact:

True talk! She should devise a means of making herself happy. Mayb reading novels or any book that can motivate her and pray to her God!

She needs a life of her own . . . she is an individual and God knows how long this 'hell' of hers will last.

I would rather people, especially women, understand that they do not cease to be individuals the minute they are married. She needs to continue to live as an individual even in marriage, and individuals have what I consider a life of their own . . they work on their ideas, goals, friendships etc. A zombie wife on the other hand is all engrossed with husband and husband related things to the extent that she looses who she is completely and when things come crumbling, she is left wondering what her worth is.

Well stated madam Debrief

Thank you @ debrief. I wish I new the lady personally,I'd print out your comment and ask her to read it like the bible every morning. Maybe she'll grow a little sense.

@kobojunkie,obowunmi,safeact,blank..thanks for the matured comments.

SAFElove: Thank you @ debrief. I wish I new the lady personally,I'd print out your comment and ask her to read it like the bible every morning. Maybe she'll grow a little sense.

@kobojunkie,obowunmi,SAFEact,blank..thanks for the matured comments.

SAFEact(m)»SAFElove(f).... Are u guys seeing wat am seeing?

@safeact,yes I am seeing it.
Maybe they are one and the same person....lols.

safeLove: @safeact,yes I am seeing it.
Maybe they are one and the same person....lols.

Hmmm, u just registered just last july and mine has bn since 2009! U ought to pay for using ma name na. Anyway, u ar welcome on board but ensure d safety of that name!

@ safeact,thanks for officially welcoming me to NL. I "pledge" to guard the name with my thumb.

safeLove: @ safeact,thanks for officially welcoming me to NL. I "pledge" to guard the name with my thumb.

Ma eyes is on u henceforth! Enjoy.

obowunmi: Well stated madam Debrief

Crush, Crush, Crush

Kobojunkie:

Let's discuss this here. How many of the millions of women who have so far run into church to help them solve their marriage problems have had those problems solved? In most every church you attend, especially in Nigeria, there are bound to be a population of women who attend church, Sunday after Sunday, in hopes that somehow their marriage problems will be miraculously solved. Many of these same women become mentors for younger women who come in with the same hopes, and so on. As this continues, the number of women stuck in abandoned marriages continue to rise. Is this practice working at all?

You have made so many assumptions here. How would you know what happens in Nigerian churches? They don't post "results" online.

Very stoopid story!

Am I the only one who saw the STD part in this write-up?? 2 weeks into her marriage the guy don give am STD??!!

@poster, this story of yours is really fishy. Give us the complete picture and stop making this woman out to be a saint! All the pepper the man dey dish out to her, she must have seen signs of them during courtship but chose to ignore them.

Or is she one of the so called Omo Sexy Big Girls that equates love with material wealth? Abeg make I hear word jor! Unless na arranged marriage, the woman in question knew exactly what she was getting into.

And what about the man's side of the story? When are you gonna post that bit to give us the full picture? I sincerely believe this man must have valid reasons for treating her like a doormat. She also has her reasons for acting like his doormat too.

Make she continue to dey "endure" her bondage until that man gives her her death sentence / appointment with her maker / HIV. Then na relatives go look after her orphans.

Nonsense.

debrief08:
Crush, Crush, Crush

You don't know how crazy you drive me, the manner in which you respond to these issues, so sexy....
The things I'd do, if we had one chance together
But YOLO, you are a married woman.
I forge forward.

Efemena_xy: Very stoopid story!

Am I the only one who saw the STD part in this write-up?? 2 weeks into her marriage the guy don give am STD??!!

@poster, this story of yours is really fishy. Give us the complete picture and stop making this woman out to be a saint! All the pepper the man dey dish out to her, she must have seen signs of them during courtship but chose to ignore them.

Or is she one of the so called Omo Sexy Big Girls that equates love with material wealth? Abeg make I hear word jor! Unless na arranged marriage, the woman in question knew exactly what she was getting into.

And what about the man's side of the story? When are you gonna post that bit to give us the full picture? I sincerely believe this man must have valid reasons for treating her like a doormat. She also has her reasons for acting like his doormat too.

Make she continue to dey "endure" her bondage until that man gives her her death sentence / appointment with her maker / HIV. Then na relatives go look after her orphans.

Nonsense.

You must be the newest definition of dumb! If your miopia is as a result of old age,then I advice you enrol in the nearest old people's home. If not kindly shine your dim eyes and read the post.
The lady said the husband was her first and only intimate partner,doesn't mean the first time they got intimate was after wedding. Besides,I know you are very experienced in STD issues so you should know that sometimes it doesn't need a year to show when it occurs..
I pity people who post their real stories here on NL when we have people like you who are stainless and ready to tear every story to pieces in order to find out if its real or fake.

Kosia!! Mcheeeeeew!!

safeLove:

You must be the newest definition of dumb! If your miopia is as a result of old age,then I advice you enrol in the nearest old people's home. If not kindly shine your dim eyes and read the post.
The lady said the husband was her first and only intimate partner,doesn't mean the first time they got intimate was after wedding. Besides,I know you are very experienced in STD issues so you should know that sometimes it doesn't need a year to show when it occurs..
I pity people who post their real stories here on NL when we have people like you who are stainless and ready to tear every story to pieces in order to find out if its real or fake.

Kosia!! Mcheeeeeew!!

Safelove has spoken!!

safeact:

Safelove has spoken!!

Una wan dey toast each other abi?