Hi everyone  I'm new to the forum ,  I think its a gr8 place & would appreciate  your comments

I met a Nigerian Guy  2.1/2 yrs ago that I'm reallllly do like , in fact I think I'm in love!!

the this issue  is  - although we're both over 35 & born in the UK.  I'm Jamaican by birth parents & obviously culture.   Can you forsee any future probs (cultural or otherwise)  we are both  financial secure , so financial gain ( either way ) is not an issue .

my Que is can you forsee any probs that I cant

Nigeria is a big country. It depends on his tribe.

If he's Hausa/Fulani, he's a muslim. If he's Yoruba, he probably has a meddlesome extended family that will either not accept you or put you through hell, unless they are highly educated. If he's Igbo, he's too smart for his own good or yours. If he is Ijaw or Niger Deltan, his blood is too hot.

If your boyfriend was born and bred in the UK then he's essentially a black Briton. Unless he was brought up with his extended family in which case the above still applies. Hehe.

wrong.

Thanks for your reply Seun  
I've just spent the last 15 mins  typing a reply, but it disappeared when pressed send  (i'll get used to this board yet!!  (but out of time now, so will come back later)

@Anusule ,  why do you say wrong?

since both of you  grew up in UK there must be an atom of bBritishculture in you.
     Nigeria shear the same bad culture with jamaica so I think in that aspect both of you can match.
            another thing is individual which is left for both of you to surt it out by yourselves.
                  the rest is GOODLUCK

thank you so much for your responses

@Seun  He's not my BF,  he's someone that I know through work, I like him an awful lot, &  I 'know' the "feeling" is mutual.
you've pointed out ( quite rightly ) that we are both " Afro Euro" ( to coin a phrase) but having acknowledged this. I still feel that I need to take each of our "Birth Cultures" into consideration,  particularly as some time in the future ,  its my intention to emigrate to much warmer climes.

The prob is - in the past I dated for a few months a Nigerian guy, who himself whilst we dated couldn't do enough for me he was extremely attentive,  & I couldn't fault him in the way he treated me. however whilst I got on extremely well with his male friends. whenever we went anywhere amongest Nigerian folks  ( he took me to a lot of places) ,  I got nothing but evils (looks) from  Nigerian women.  which I couldn't (fully) understand because I believe  no matter where in the world we come from we are all African regardless of origin/tribe.

And  I wonder if I were to enter a relationship. could I ever be fully accepted ,  I don't know if I would,  & for the record yes!!! I do think family & community acceptance is important. contrary to what other ppl may think these days
Also theres this element that's always lurking as to , women that are non-Nigerian, should be just seen as fun! ?  I can honesty say that 99.5% of Jamaican men feel this way re non- Jamaican women. although, perhaps being more genuine, if the female is still afro/afri origin.
Does this mode of thinking apply to a UK Niger male?

@Oziomatv " Bad Culture"  did I ask for that, pls , don't stereotype,  Nigerians or Jamaicans. lol

But yeah,  the rest is Goodluck

, I guess I'm just fishing around now& asking before the event , as opposed to 6mths down the line  when I'm hook line & sinker
oh , & r.e his tribe - I think its Igbo.

People feel free to give Nigerians bad names even when we are not worst than others.
      so that why I said we shear things in common.
            I'm from Igbo tribe and am into mixed relationship with a whitelady for 6yrs still enjoying it so I found no reason you should be scare about it.
                  go ahead.
            For our own ladies you don't have to border much cause I have the same problem with some whites and also with my own country women.
                  they look at me as a betrayer to them and whites look at me as a treat to them.

Thanks Oziomatv

Obviously your enjoying your mixed relationship , which is gr8 , can  I just ask, do you feel that either of you, have had to make any significant compromises,  during / or because of your relationship?  just curious 

Make your question clear for me to give you a clear answer.

sorry ,  what I mean is have either of you (yourself or your partner ) experienced  within  your Nigerian community any difficulties (as result of your being a mixed couple)
that you /or she , has had to /or choose to live with. in order that you both remain in your relationship.

i.e with this guy I once dated ,  I had to endure almost constantly  horrible looks from African females whilst out,  this is something unpleasant that i would have had to live with in order to remain in that particular. relationship.

I'm assuming before you entered  your mixed relationship. you possibly dated a lady/ or ladies from your back ground /culture ,  as I have mine. Now I didn't have to endure any difficult experiences / or make any compromises when with a Jamaican man.  (can you see where I'm coming from)?

 can I ask the Que - if you do / or did you have to make any compromises ,   does this not matter after a while?
if I'm being too nosy just tell me

shayla:

sorry , what I mean is have either of you (yourself or your partner ) experienced within your Nigerian community any difficulties (as result of your being a mixed couple)
that you /or she , has had to /or choose to live with. in order that you both remain in your relationship.

i.e with this guy I once dated , I had to endure almost constantly horrible looks from African females whilst out, this is something unpleasant that i would have had to live with in order to remain in that particular. relationship.

I'm assuming before you entered your mixed relationship. you possibly dated a lady/ or ladies from your back ground /culture , as I have mine. Now I didn't have to endure any difficult experiences / or make any compromises when with a Jamaican man. (can you see where I'm coming from)?

can I ask the Que - if you do / or did you have to make any compromises , does this not matter after a while?
if I'm being too nosy just tell me

shayla/ sheila
Somehow you don't come across as Jamaican.
Jamaicans are inimitable in ALL respect.
you are not sounding Jamaican in your style of writing.
In fact you write more like a Nigerian.

" write like an Nigerian" Ha ha , thats a first.
but wow!!! Jamacians "inimitable"   I'll not ques you on that, but instead take it has a compliment

But No! ,  I am jamaican very much so ,   although I am a very cosmopolitan person ( well travelled ) so perhaps  this is the reason for me not chatting  in de strickly yardieeee stayl lli lii  eee

I think I said this somewhere else this thread.  ppl are always making generalisations (about other ppl) & the sooner they accept that everyones an individual literally the sooner they widen their scope of understanding .

having said that your comment made me laugh , whats with shayla/sheila bit don't get it

shayla:

sorry , what I mean is have either of you (yourself or your partner ) experienced within your Nigerian community any difficulties (as result of your being a mixed couple)
that you /or she , has had to /or choose to live with. in order that you both remain in your relationship.

i.e with this guy I once dated , I had to endure almost constantly horrible looks from African females whilst out, this is something unpleasant that i would have had to live with in order to remain in that particular. relationship.

I'm assuming before you entered your mixed relationship. you possibly dated a lady/ or ladies from your back ground /culture , as I have mine. Now I didn't have to endure any difficult experiences / or make any compromises when with a Jamaican man. (can you see where I'm coming from)?

can I ask the Que - if you do / or did you have to make any compromises , does this not matter after a while?
if I'm being too nosy just tell me

In Nigeria we say birds of the same feather flies together.
change your type of friends, stay with people that are in mixed relationship.
Don't ask anybody that don't like mixed relationship advice to your personal problems.
know what your partner like and don't and let him know yours.
stop making too many friends it useless and dangerous to who is in mixed.
your house should be exclusively for special invitees no casual entries.
And don't be too jealous it makes things worst.




I

My uncle is married to a jamaican. They both live in Germany. He grew up in Nigeria and he's very much an Igbo guy. The extended family dare not meddle in my uncle's family. I guess because the parents are dead. My mother is very close to his family and she has visited them twice and we get along very fine.

Awe!  @ stillwater: , that's nice!!

Somehow,   I think deep down,  if a Jamaican,  & I'd say for arguments sake - another person of African origin. cast their surface differences & "misconceptions"  aside their relationship Or indeed friendship,  can a "soupy rich "

@ Oziomatv thank you for your response , although (if I'm honest) - you did put me off (quite a bit)  

shayla i think this is easy and straight up,in anythign u do in life
what u should always aim at it self satisfaction and fufilment
cuz wether u get thign right or wrong u still cant satisfy people.
in other words,wether or get married to a nija guy or even ur
same jamo guy,the same set of peole hating will still hv some
to say,(why did she marry a jamo guy who in a rasta man as
beatifull as she is or why a naija man when there is a lots of
charming and well educated jamo man in london too)so girl,
this is somethign i tell everybody who is curious in ur kinda way,
follow the voice of ur spirit mind,dat is the won that always gonna
be through to u.all the best mami.

Shayla, they say if it's not broke dont try to fix it, sometimes giving head space to problems that dont already exist can attract them into your life.

Cross that bridge if and when you come to it, some people may have a problem, but then people have something to say about almost every relationship.

Dont sweat the small stuff.