Hello Guys....there is something i do love to share with you guys.I have been a friend with a very nice lady in my Office and we been spending allot of time together especially after work.She is very single but she was impregnated by a guy whom she doesn't know his where about since about 13 years ago.She is 2 year older than me but she doesn't look it.She told me all these concerns and was letting me know if i can handle those facts.I must be honest,i have never been with a woman that is older than me talk-less of a single mum.she is very discipline person,and very career focus,Highly matured woman.We haven't started any relationship,we are just discussing all these facts.

Guys,can you marry such a lady? if you can not why cant you?

Thanks For your contribution

no, tomorrow the son will rise up against you as his father's rival

There is really noting bad in it. As long as you set the rules before the marriage. How come if it was the man who has a single child you will encourage the woman to go ahead and when its the reverse, we talk about a power game?

Mynd_44: There is really noting bad in it. As long as you set the rules before the marriage. How come if it was the man who has a single child you will encourage the woman to go ahead and when its the reverse, we talk about a power game?

africa is not europe or america, so get real

She had a naïve Sex with the Father of the boy.She doesn't even know His whereabout.the guy was in Uniben then and she was just a Jamb student who naively had a intimaxxy with Him.but when she accosted the dude with pregnancy news,He denied,the guy eventually got expelled from Uniben due to cult activities.

sorry to hear that, but the boy

okosodo: africa is not europe or america, so get real

Eff that Africa aint Europe crap. The same rules applies as we are all humans

Mynd_44:
Eff that Africa aint Europe crap. The same rules applies as we are all humans

do these countries recognise taboo?

okosodo: do these countries recognise taboo?

You do realise that before some parts of the east killed twins while the Yorubas celebrated their birth right? Taboo is something that can be dropped and picked

some taboos are a stigma that cant be dropped

okosodo: some taboos are a stigma that cant be dropped

There is no taboo that can't be dropped as long as there is one person willing to refuse to take bullisht, has his/her own believes and follows them

Best advice is to see how she does on ur "must have" list of qualifying characters.
To judge her by a mistake that happened 13yrs ago, is rather harsh, particularly, if there are no other significant character flaws.

Regarding her son with non-existent father, setting fair n just rules will be the way to go. Involve him earlier on in dates n outings to get some degree of bonding with him. No need to spoil him as that will only backfire, children r pretty smart n know to "blackmail" in order to get their way.

Having an open mind..... is imperative!!!

Concerning the legal side of things, will you be adopting him as his father or father's clan has never been in the picture. Whose surname is he bearing presently as that may indicate a few things.

^^

goodsegs: Hello Guys....there is something i do love to share with you guys.I have been a friend with a very nice lady in my Office and we been spending allot of time together especially after work.She is very single but she was impregnated by a guy whom she doesn't know his where about since about 13 years ago.She is 2 year older than me but she doesn't look it.She told me all these concerns and was letting me know if i can handle those facts.I must be honest,i have never been with a woman that is older than me talk-less of a single mum.she is very discipline person,and very career focus,Highly matured woman.We haven't started any relationship,we are just discussing all these facts.

Guys,can you marry such a lady? if you can not why cant you?

Thanks For your contribution

yes,
but as long as her story behind her past life& the child's is genuine& she aint lying!
Nobody is above mistakes abeg!
The important thing is has the person learnt from the mistake.
Also can i cope with the age gap, if yes, fine (if no, trouble).
With all this in mind yes i can!

she is 31 and i am 29,Like i said,she doesn't look close to her age or that she already got a kid.

sexkillz: No.

How old are you and how old is the son? She is even older than you are. If you were my blood brother, I'll tell you the same thing. Yes, you have your choice to make, and it is your life to live. But you are being carried away by amorous feelings. THIS WILL NOT WORK!!! The future is a working timebomb if you continue with this.

If you are a divorcee or a widower who has children from another woman, then go ahead. If you have not gotten married before, engage your gear in reverse and get the fugg outta there. Have you been a father before? Do you know what it feels like to raise child from day one? Now you wanna raise a teenager? A boy more concerned about who his father is and why he abandoned him? How many of your 13 year old siblings or cousins can you ask to "sit" and they obey you? Not to talk of a 13 year old you do not know from Adam. That boy needs a father figure and nothing more. An unmarried lady with a child knows the importance of a father figure and that is what she will be on the look out for. You being 2 years younger than she is has already put a "spanner in the spokes" of her ambitions.

Imagine being a mother to two "small boys"

My friend, get up from that long thing you are sitting on, and face reality. Leave that woman alone. If you make this mistake, you will regret it.

Love is not enough in this case. . . Common sense should be applied. If you like, hear.

What exactly can the run away father do order than taking his son in future? Besides,she never dated the guy,it was one of those silly intimaxy she got involvved with when she didnt even know anything about Sexx .

Tedpgrass:

Best advice is to see how she does on ur "must have" list of qualifying characters.
To judge her by a mistake that happened 13yrs ago, is rather harsh, particularly, if there are no other significant character flaws.

Regarding her son with non-existent father, setting fair n just rules will be the way to go. Involve him earlier on in dates n outings to get some degree of bonding with him. No need to spoil him as that will only backfire, children r pretty smart n know to "blackmail" in order to get their way.

Having an open mind..... is imperative!!!

Concerning the legal side of things, will you be adopting him as his father or father's clan has never been in the picture. Whose surname is he bearing presently as that may indicate a few things.

"she is very discipline person,and very career focus,Highly matured woman." We haven't started any relationship[i][/i]

You have!

If She loves you and you truly love her,
Happy Married Life.

13year old son? so how old is the lady?

goodsegs: Hello Guys....there is something i do love to share with you guys.I have been a friend with a very nice lady in my Office and we been spending allot of time together especially after work.She is very single but she was impregnated by a guy whom she doesn't know his where about since about 13 years ago.She is 2 year older than me but she doesn't look it.She told me all these concerns and was letting me know if i can handle those facts.I must be honest,i have never been with a woman that is older than me talk-less of a single mum.she is very discipline person,and very career focus,Highly matured woman.We haven't started any relationship,we are just discussing all these facts.

Guys,can you marry such a lady? if you can not why cant you?

Thanks For your contribution

Bros i like your analogy you started with yourself and ended it asking us a question.. Guy you are fishing in an ocean that will drown you .....

.

Not at all.... I won't waste my youthful life with a single mum....

Op are you crazyyy?

Mynd_44:
There is no taboo that can't be dropped as long as there is one person willing to refuse to take bullisht, has his/her own believes and follows them

Thank you jare.

You're welcome

@ Op,

I would expect there will be investment on your part, in the child if you are taking on his mother.

Putting aside the financial side of things, the emotional aspect of treating the boy as ur son for some years n vice versa will make any future parting instigated by his previously absent biological father rather difficult.... "the boy calls you father"

Except the boy stays with the grandparents whilst u n his mum make a go of things.

...... an idea that may be odious to his mum.....your intended wife

.

okosodo: some taboos are a stigma that cant be dropped

Taboo is an English word not an African word.

Op

How much do ur sugar mum give u from her salary dat u want 2 marry her

I will advice that you let the boy stay wt the lady's parent and that he can come visit but you should spell this term out strongly,dont let yourselves be tricked into thinking the boy is yours though,and dont let him call you Dad cos ur nt his Dad,infact i dont think you can handle this,ur too young(am afraid d boy might 1day challenge u)please try look 4 a spiritual backup,d stress might too much on you,it wont be easy oooo,the mother n son has a bond already,you n your love cant break it ooo,they v both passd tru a lot 2geda...

goodsegs: Hello Guys....there is something i do love to share with you guys.I have been a friend with a very nice lady in my Office and we been spending allot of time together especially after work.She is very single but she was impregnated by a guy whom she doesn't know his where about since about 13 years ago.She is 2 year older than me but she doesn't look it.She told me all these concerns and was letting me know if i can handle those facts.I must be honest,i have never been with a woman that is older than me talk-less of a single mum.she is very discipline person,and very career focus,Highly matured woman.We haven't started any relationship,we are just discussing all these facts.

Guys,can you marry such a lady? if you can not why cant you?

Thanks For your contribution

My brother don't mind these backward people. You've already mentioned that the woman is straightforward and discussed her existing condition with you. Add that to the fact that she is mature and has career focus and is giving you what you need to know upfront. The son may not be yours but will no doubt need a father figure and there's nothing wrong in playing that role if you really intend to marry her. The son is part of the package.

There's nothing wrong with marrying such a woman as well. In fact it might help you put your life in perspective and focus. No one is perfect but at least you know what you're dealing with here and the person in question has come out open to you. She will probably be eternally grateful that you married her despite something which our people tend to view in a negative light.

Better this than you date a youngin whose only intention is having a celebrity wedding and strategizing on how to deplete your bank account with no intention of finding out how to progress in life. Maturity comes with experience and clearly this woman knows what the deal is.

Proceed with your head held high and leave people of the world abeg.

[i][/i][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]Best advice...weigh your options and make the decision urself. that way, u get to accept the consequences in good faith.

u dont need us to tell u what to do. u will do what u will do.

tai2:

My brother don't mind these backward people. You've already mentioned that the woman is straightforward and discussed her existing condition with you. Add that to the fact that she is mature and has career focus and is giving you what you need to know upfront. The son may not be yours but will no doubt need a father figure and there's nothing wrong in playing that role if you really intend to marry her. The son is part of the package.

There's nothing wrong with marrying such a woman as well. In fact it might help you put your life in perspective and focus. No one is perfect but at least you know what you're dealing with here and the person in question has come out open to you. She will probably be eternally grateful that you married her despite something which our people tend to view in a negative light.

Better this than you date a youngin whose only intention is having a celebrity wedding and strategizing on how to deplete your bank account with no intention of finding out how to progress in life. Maturity comes with experience and clearly this woman knows what the deal is.

Proceed with your head held high and leave people of the world abeg.

Well said.