^Please Kindly post more lessons on how to curb an abusive man baby

jennykadry: ^^^You are such a psychopath and an egostical Buffon. Look at him putting all the blames of a failed marriage on a woman. Who brought you into this world? Do you have sisters at all? Any female relatives?

Where did you come from? A man hits his wife and all you can say is keep quiet, be nice, don't compare him with someone etc. who dropped you head first on the ground when you were a child? Who scattered your brain cells? look at this cow. I have not seen you put a single blame on this op's husband even after knowing he panel beats her and hates his son.

You are such a low life. I could slap you right now or end it all by administering lethal injection on you. You deserve nothing out of life

You can always spot the ones who don't have any respect for women from a mile away. . . you don't even hafta read their profile.

jennykadry: ^^^You are such a psychopath and an egostical Buffon. Look at him putting all the blames of a failed marriage on a woman. Who brought you into this world? Do you have sisters at all? Any female relatives?

Where did you come from? A man hits his wife and all you can say is keep quiet, be nice, don't compare him with someone etc. who dropped you head first on the ground when you were a child? Who scattered your brain cells? look at this cow. I have not seen you put a single blame on this op's husband even after knowing he panel beats her and hates his son.

You are such a low life

Madam, i love and appreciate your passion. There are different ways to express one's self. This is the way you have chosen. I am not blaming the woman or taking sides. I said she has an option, either keep quiet and ensure less talk or leave the house to a place where she will not be accused wrongly. Any one who guard his tongue don't usually get into trouble. I will take your harsh words as merely how best you can express your views. OKONTAMI

Abomination! beating you in your little child presence?

Are you still waiting for validation?
By now you should have gathered some naija awon boyz to give him a good beating same day you are moving out.
when you plan to move, take the key along and throw it away.

Sisi_Kill:

Abeg stop projecting. . .Go open your own therapy thread and we will discuss all the women who have left you for flashier guys.

Sisi Kill, Thanks a lot. Am not boasting , am happily married and very very comfortable

Okontami: Sisi Kill, Thanks a lot. Am not boasting , am happily married and very very comfortable

You are but is she. . . ?

Now that's where the real truth is at!

OP

You have to make a decision that is logical for you. Whether you can afford the child or not isn't the answer. The question is are you ready to step out on your own and thrive as a single parent?

Children raised in unstable and violative homes do not flourish. They will only repeat the cycle if it is not nipped in the bud.

Good luck.

Am quite speechless here. This is a case of damned if you do, and damned if you dont. Since you want 2 kids in your life, i think you have achieved that. It will be in your best interest to move out, and leave him to get his life together. Have that kid please. It is not a bastard or unwanted. Just save your life and secure your kids future by having some self respect. Goodluck. Both of you are surely unstable and insane. I dont think anyone will abuse you in any way if you dont create the environment for it. We all teach people how to treat us.

You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say;

1. Abort that Pregnancy
2. Drop the first child for him
3. Get a divorce and leave his poverty-stricken house

This is the natural thing to do. Poor people like to beat their wives as if they are the cause of their problems.

I am wondering what it is about poster's first son that the husband is saying ruined his life? Is the child differently abled/disabled and he can't handle it or that a 40 year old man is frustrated with life because he has to cater and feed a child.

Poster don't abort the child, as you want two children find your way out of that dangerous situation (before you get killed) and go have your child and take care of the two of them. Is he not better off having non of you to care for as your presence in his life frustrates him? I have never heard of a Nigeria man that has this phobia for commitment like the man does,Nigerian men always appreciate their offsprings. You sound very unhappy poster and to think that you are pregnant too. Distance yourself from him for a while and have peace of mind first till you deliver and if he isn't interested in taking care of his family-----you know what to do. Do you intend to foist yourself forever on a man that does not want you and the kids around him?

Billyonaire: You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say;

1. Abort that Pregnancy
2. Drop the first child for him
3. Get a divorce and leave his poverty-stricken house

This is the natural thing to do. Poor people like to beat their wives as if they are the cause of their problems.

Yeah you are the wisest of them all

Billyonaire: You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say;

1. Abort that Pregnancy
2. Drop the first child for him
3. Get a divorce and leave his poverty-stricken house

This is the natural thing to do. Poor people like to beat their wives as if they are the cause of their problems.

Put yourself in the child's shoes, if your mum had done what you advise in such a situation, how would you feel? The child is not loved by the father and yet you say leave the child with him.smh. When that said child grows with a role model like his dad and becomes a bully, will he not go and inflict the same thing on someone else's unsuspecting daughter...and the cycle continues.

Don't know about you but any sane person would put their child's wellbeing first above their own. The child didn't ask to be born so shouldn't pay for the parent's mistakes.

shaybe baby:

Put yourself in the child's shoes, if your mum had done what you advise in such a situation, how would you feel? The child is not loved by the father and yet you say leave the child with him.smh. When that said child grows with a role model like his dad and becomes a bully, will he not go and inflict the same thing on someone else's unsuspecting daughter...and the cycle continues.

Don't know about you but any sane person would put their child's wellbeing first above their own. The child didn't ask to be born so shouldn't pay for the parent's mistakes.

Thank you, then I suggest she takes the child back to the poor man's parent or even her own mom, then find a job and be sending money for the kid's upkeep. No punny for a lazy man, fullstop!

Sisi_Kill: Call me naive oh but I've always been of the opinion that you have sexxx with someone you feel intimately close to, someone you trust and are very attracted to. So I just can't understand how OP can still find the monster she has describe here attractive enough to have sexx with him again and again.

yes, you are naive!
sex doesn't have to be with someone you love, trust, gravitational force of attraction, etc
forget your mills and boon, sex is a reflex action. when you are hungry, you eat. thirst - drink, itch - scratch!

It's either one just lays there like a log of wood, taking a flight of fancy while the deed is being done (And that has to be one hell of a flight of fancy) or the verbal and physical abuse is a form of pre-intimacy. . .warped but pre-intimacy nonetheless.

can't blame the op - she's still his wife!
marriage duties must be fulfilled. she was hoping her method would work but it wasn't to be.

Kobojunkie:

can't you close your mouth

MiracleChild:
I have been Married to my husband for a year plus though we have a lovely child that is Almost4 years old. It has been a tubulent marriage and i know i should have left long ago but i stayed beliving that things will get better and he will change.There was a time he use to beat me daily.when i couldn take it anymore i had to let my family and his know. my Dad told me to leave him,my mother sent me the quote from the bible that said i wise wife builds her home or something to that effect and his mom told me a storry of a woman that her husband use to chase around with cutlass alway treatening to kill her but through prayer ther are like 5 n 6 now. So i decided to stay. and since then he hasnt hit me

Even your mother understood how wrong you were, and advised you to change your ways. You amended your behavior to change the situation, that is why he stopped smacking you.

MiracleChild:
but he constantly threatens to do so. what he does now is phychological abuse he never fails to tell me how worthless i am(even though all bills are shared 50/50)how i ruined his life,how if i hadnt had our son he will be better off in life etc. he also constantly destroys my properties ones he broke my bb touch phone which was less dan a year old with his bare hands.another tim my reading glasses then my sunglasses the list goes on the thing is when i have had enough and want out to make him achive all he said i couldn help he achieve he starts begging n said he is sorry that he is just fustrated and so on obviously am not happy being married and neither is he.

You trapped him with the pregnancy and expect him to thank you.

MiracleChild:
[b]the last straw is i am pregnant now and he said i must have an abortion if not we will never live in peace n he will hate me and the child for the rest of his life. cos he is not ready and needs more time to plan his life.[/b]How can this be happening to me.i have friends wishing they were pregnant,wen women get pregnant in marrage every1 is suppose to be happy.why is my case different. i am not getting any younger.

You want to kill the man? First child he has not coped with the financial demands, you want to add another one. How selfish you are. What’s all this about you anyway? The man is the head of the family and he should plan his family.

MiracleChild:
i want only 2 kids by Gods grace.i have pleaded and begged but he still refuses.

Yes, woman. It’s his decision to make.

MiracleChild:
so i have decided to give him his wish. but the day i do the DnC is the day the marriage is over,this is so unfair n life is so unfair. i am a nice person no one should have to go through this much pain and stress in a marriage. i treat my husband as king. give him all due respect. but he is just too selfish and not ready for resposibilities at the age of almost 40.

Yes, you treat him as a king, by disobeying him at the slightest opportunity, taking decisions that are rightfully his and so obviously being a selfish , immature brat. You are the worst kind of female, it is your kind that we pray our children don’t meet.

MiracleChild:
i know the bible frowns at divorce but i choose to live.i am tired of thinking of what people will say when i leave him cos they will also talk if i die. life is to short. no one should be this unhappy.

If you knew anything about the bible you would have followed your mothers advice and built your home instead of planning how to complete the entrapment and destruction of the poor man.

I will tell you the truth. Please divorce the man. He needs to be free from you. Any man that falls into your trap you will try and finish.

freecocoa: Yeah you are the wisest of them all

Okontami: @Poster, your problem is simple ignorance. There are ways you can curb an abusive man, but it take s a lot of sacrifice. The truth is you will now be more calm, less talk, less complaint, you must not compare him with any one , do not abuse him back, do not argue with him. Do everything that will make you faultless. You will say this is slavery, but you have 2 options in an abusive marriage, keep mute and be the big full or act wise and have no future with the man. Its so clear that most abusive men grow to be very loving and kind men who have regrets for all the evils they might have done against you. But if this involves your life, please run away and give him a break. Run to his parents house preferably before you are accused of infidelity. The Lord is your shepherd o.

I disagree completely. There are women that do all things right and still get beaten up. A bully will always be a bully, even if she lies down like a doormat. How can yo do that to your child woman. If your child is a boy, he will grow up to be a wife beater, if its a girl she will not see anything wrong with being beaten by her husband. Take your children and flee.

I started off getting depressed and sad with this topic then i read a post about the woman having to adjust her behaviour and attitude to "change" her man and i'm actually laughing so hard right now.

poster ultimately you have to make a choice. i'm tired of all these depressing stories about bad marriages everyday - i'm still recovering from the nonsensical rubbish K-SOLO saga

Some men were created with the Leftovers on the eve of the 7th day.

MiracleChild: but the day i do the DnC is the day the marriage is over

Have only read the original post so I'm sure it has already been pointed out ad nauseum but I just had to marvel at this part. Why the hell would you want to wait for the D and C before leaving? Think with a clear mind o. Leave now, have your baby. Very simple. Abi you too want the abortion ni?

Johndoe100:

Even your mother understood how wrong you were, and advised you to change your ways. You amended your behavior to change the situation, that is why he stopped smacking you.




You trapped him with the pregnancy and expect him to thank you.




You want to kill the man? First child he has not coped with the financial demands, you want to add another one. How selfish you are. What’s all this about you anyway? The man is the head of the family and he should plan his family.





Yes, woman. It’s his decision to make.




Yes, you treat him as a king, by disobeying him at the slightest opportunity, taking decisions that are rightfully his and so obviously being a selfish , immature brat. You are the worst kind of female, it is your kind that we pray our children don’t meet.




If you knew anything about the bible you would have followed your mothers advice and built your home instead of planning how to complete the entrapment and destruction of the poor man.

I will tell you the truth. Please divorce the man. He needs to be free from you. Any man that falls into your trap you will try and finish.

Guy, do you know this woman?

[quoteMiracleChild]
Also things were not this bad till something happend to my husband career wise n he hasn't been happy since den. Have you not been supportive to him or what ? My advice don't go for abortion b/cos that baby is not d problem in ur marriage, the problems were their before the pregnancy. I pray for God to help you and your husband and give you solution.

jennykadry: If you have the kid, your marriage is over, if you Don't have the child It is still over. So what is your point? U wanna lose the pregnancy and still lose that home that is already lost? Or you wanna keep the pregnancy and lose nothing?

Brilliant logic.

OP, keep your unborn child safe. Your husband will come back some day to beg. Make him taste some dirt for his selfishness on that day- he deserves it if all you've said is true.

Okontami: I said she has an option, either keep quiet and ensure less talk. OKONTAMI

Have you not seen/heard of situations in which the woman kept quiet and the man still physically abused her starting with an unexpected hot slap!

IMO, keeping quiet for an abusive man only stir up his anger the more.

Dear Poster,

I will advise you keep the pregnancy, moves out of the house with your child and lay low for a while. Since he doesn't value you and the child, you people should leave him alone and let him bear life burdens alone and cut any financial assistance towards him.

Inform both families of your decision that:
1. You can't nurture your child and coming ones in an abusive environment.
2. He asked you to abort your current pregnancy. This alone will make them go 'gaga' on him.
3. That you want to have the baby and can't go throughout the three trimesters with him around you because he will cause you to develop Pregnancy Induced High Blood Pressure, which won't be good for you and the baby.

Let both families know that IF they want you both together then he has to sign an MOU that such occurrences won't happen.

Billyonaire: You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say,
1. Abort that Pregnancy
2. Drop the first child for him
3. Get a divorce and leave his poverty-stricken house[
/b]

Mr, I strongly disagree with your views on the bolded parts. Didn't you read where she said she wanted only two children? So you want her to leave her first child, abort the coming one and leave the abusive man to start life afresh, isn't it? I doubt the poster is thinking along this line of thought.

Billyonaire:
This is the natural thing to do. Poor people like to beat their wives as if they are the cause of their problems.

Natural thing? I don hear you.

Man, after reading some of the replies here, it really makes me regret being a Nigerian. I guess opinions are like a s s h o l e s everyone has one.

You all forget it takes 2 to make a baby, its the woman's fault for getting pregnant and trapping the man, what an ignorant thing to say, i guess when you are ignorant you will just end up saying B u l l s h i t.

@Johndoe100
you are an ignorant fool, who needs to have his head examined. while the entire world has evolved you are still stuck up in the oppressive culture that blames the woman for everything, i feel sorry for the woman that ends up with ur D u m b a s s.

@Poster
Please don't abort the baby because you will end up regretting it, the man will come and go as he pleases, but Karma always comes back to bite in the A S S. If you can afford to take care of yourself and kid, then do it. Ignore most of the advice on this forum, most of them are made by ignorant f o o l s, none of them are in the house going through everything you are going through so their opinion shouldn't matter, these are the same people who will say why didn't she leave if God forbid you die during an abortion.

I basically live by this rule, if you are not in my house going through whatever i am going through then i don't give a s h i t about ur opinion.

ima1: Man, after reading some of the replies here, it really makes me regret being a Nigerian. I guess opinions are like a s s h o l e s everyone has one.

You all forget it takes 2 to make a baby, its the woman's fault for getting pregnant and trapping the man, what an ignorant thing to say, i guess when you are ignorant you will just end up saying B u l l s h i t.

I just have to address this. Your great-great-grandmothers said "it takes two . . .", yet at the end of the day, they were the ones who bore the burden. Your great-grandmothers used the same excuse . . "it takes two . . .", they said but at the end of the day, they(your great-grandmothers) where the ones who bore the burden alone when the men disappeared or no longer had use for them. Your grandmothers also said "it takes two . . .) but when they were abandoned by some of these men, they too had to bare the burden alone. Your mothers also said the same thing . . and we see what happened today... . . thousands of abandoned mothers barely 100% of the burden of raising their kids alone.

I think it is time women do away with the "It takes two . . ." mentality/excuse and instead work on protecting their bodies and their children. No one is else is going to do that job for you . . it is more than clear now. If after all these centuries, and examples women still say things like "It takes two . . "after they allow their bodies to be used to drag an innocent soul into a hard world for the umpteenth time, then it is clear such women are dolts.

I said it takes 2 in the sense that a woman cannot impregnate herself. I do agree with you that women end up bearing 100% of the burden because of irresponsible men.

ima1: I said it takes 2 in the sense that a woman cannot impregnate herself. I do agree with you that women end up bearing 100% of the burden because of irresponsible men.

Majority of the time it happens with the consent of the women . . they need to be more responsible seeing that the so-called men in their lives for the problem are irresponsible bunch raised mostly by other women with little or no respect for women. These men didn't come from mass . . they came from where? The womb of some of these same women . . so, again, woman need to take more responsibility for the decay in the society, and activity do something about it. If more women took it on themselves to have children they are equipped to handle and raise the sons to respect all women . .. society would not be half where it is today(these problems are not in anyway isolated).