190: what exactly is going on here

whos teaching PHYSICS on this thread!

cos i cant grasp a single thing been discussed here!

Ok 190 you need to relax in order to understand.
There are four temperaments. You have one major and a minor. For a better understanding go to the career section https://www.nairaland.com/1034670/how-temperament-affects-career-choice
When you are done, come back here asap.

I saw a movie recently, where a couple struggled with individual differences oweing to temperaments.
It took them years to really understand that they were opposites, and that they needed to appreciate the differences and look for areas where they compliment one another. That was after years of pain and trouble.
A young man was complaining(at the romance section) that his girlfriend is an infidelity suspect lol, simply because she loves to party, make new friends and have fun without causion.
Well, if only he knows that his girlfriend is sanguine, while he is ofcourse the opposite.
This simple knowledge will go a long way in saving him unnecessary heartaches, pain, sleepless night, loss of trust, and ultimately his relationship.
If he had a knowledge of temparaments, he would have been able to realise what he needs but lacks, which can be found in his GF(fun, charisma, sociability or people skill).
Instead of falsely accusing her, he should be thankful he found someone who's not as boring, less excited and introverted as he is.
That's a major importance of temperaments in relationships.

You are taking examples from a movie? Dude that's messed up

One of the biggest challenges men face is dealing with a Choleric Woman.
Ideally, a Man is the head. Right??
But what happens when a Man marries a Choleric woman who is a natural leader and authoritarian.
She dishes out orders without apologies sometimes even to her husband.
She is less emotional, more commanding, less humble, more agressive, less forgiving, more possesive than her female counterparts.
A man who finds himself in a love relationship with a choleric woman must understand that she is not intentionally controlling, but needs a little help in handling her natural traits.
They need more patience, tolerance and more patience. Yes more patience.
A choleric woman is unaware of her temper issues because she was born that way. You need to help her control them by assisting her back in line when she crosses it. Patiently, bring to her notice her controlling and domineering attitude towards you and other people as wrong and unfair.
No one hate positive change.
She would be happy when you correct her in love and bring her wrongs to her in good light.
Don't be suprised if she takes the forfront in many affairs. She's just being Choleric.
Just relax have fun, and let her do her thing

Mynd_44: You are taking examples from a movie? Dude that's messed up

I didn't take examples from a movie. It was a true story.

So spicy, who would be the best woman for me now that I'm a San-phleg?

dammytex: So spicy, who would be the best woman for me now that I'm a San-phleg?

Lazy Lazy..
You want to relax abi?? I do like cholerics. You'll just chill. They do everything.

BTW where's our Spice? Sorry Spicy

vislabraye: I've heard loads of these temperament stuffs.
@poster. When you said "the heart of a man is desperately wicked" was refering to melancholy, I don't agree O. Every temperament is capable of being wicked.

I've been thinking what temperament makes the best lady's man? I think all of them.

Yes. All temperaments can become a Lady's man. Depending on the Man and lady in question. If you get my point.

Duke_Nija:
Lazy Lazy..
You want to relax abi?? I do like cholerics. You'll just chill. They do everything.

Cholerics ke? nooo

I can't stand people who won't accept and appreciate my jokes. I don't like people with tendencies to create fight and arguments around them. I don't like people with bossy nature, they make me feel bad and quiet. In as much as I like results, I don't like being pushed like a slave to achieve the success.

So, how do I cope with a choleric then? I'm a guy remember..

@ Duke what can I say? Thanks a lot bro. You sure have been doing a tremendous job here.
@ Dammytex lol. I like you already. As Duke rightly pointed out, you need a lady with the Choleric temperament. I would say that a blend θf Mel/Choleric would be perfect, Mel being the dominant temperament.

Your Sanguine nature seeks to always be the centre θf attention, so you naturally wouldn't appreciate anyone else competing with you for attention. In other words, you will be drawn to a more reserved person who would let you do all the talking. On the other hand, you have the unmotivated, lazy temperament (phleg), you would be doing yourself no good at all if you pair up with someone that shares that sort θf personality. Someone with a blend θf Mel/chlo will be reserved and very organized(a great match for the disorganized sanguine), the choleric in her makes her very focused(great match for the phleg).

I couldn't help but laugh real hard when you pointed that you wanted someone who would find your jokes funny. Why do you think Cholerics are so hard up? Lol. I am 70percent Choleric and my spouse has some phleg in him but I think he is the funniest and most fun to be with person in the WHOLE universe!(Call it exaggeration if you like lol). Dammy, you need a woman with a stronger personality, since you have a weakness with indecisiveness, you need a decisive companion. Just focus on her strengths rather than the weaknesses. I think I have laid so much emphasis on how my boo and I carryon, understanding each other and focusing on complimenting our weaknesses with each other's strengths has been very effective.

I also want you to note that though you can be with whoever you choose and work it out, its just much more easier when you understand temperaments and choose someone with a complimentary temperament whilst both θf you work hard at supporting each other to become better persons.

Just wanted to add Dammytex, all θf those faults you mentioned, you will only find in a choleric who hasn't dealt with those issues. I for one, being Choleric, I am naturally prone to impatience and anger. But when I saw the negative impact it had on my relationship with spouse and people I had to make a decision to change and work at changing. I haven't stopped being passionate and opinionated because that cannot change, I have only learnt to pay more attention and respect to other peoples opinion. Rather than doing things on my own, I find myself asking for input and honestly, I made an amazing discovery, there is power in submission! Honestly! And since the choleric is a power freak lol, that discovery has been a major tool. At least I still get to have my way and every other person is happy. Isn't that just devious? ( Making the wicked sound laugh. Hehehohohaha.

Duke_Nija:
Ok 190 you need to relax in order to understand.
There are four temperaments. You have one major and a minor. For a better understanding go to the career section https://www.nairaland.com/1034670/how-temperament-affects-career-choice
When you are done, come back here asap.

huh

spicy v: @ Duke what can I say? Thanks a lot bro. You sure have been doing a tremendous job here.
@ Dammytex lol. I like you already. As Duke rightly pointed out, you need a lady with the Choleric temperament. I would say that a blend θf Mel/Choleric would be perfect, Mel being the dominant temperament.

Your Sanguine nature seeks to always be the centre θf attention, so you naturally wouldn't appreciate anyone else competing with you for attention. In other words, you will be drawn to a more reserved person who would let you do all the talking. On the other hand, you have the unmotivated, lazy temperament (phleg), you would be doing yourself no good at all if you pair up with someone that shares that sort θf personality. Someone with a blend θf Mel/chlo will be reserved and very organized(a great match for the disorganized sanguine), the choleric in her makes her very focused(great match for the phleg).

I couldn't help but laugh real hard when you pointed that you wanted someone who would find your jokes funny. Why do you think Cholerics are so hard up? Lol. I am 70percent Choleric and my spouse has some phleg in him but I think he is the funniest and most fun to be with person in the WHOLE universe!(Call it exaggeration if you like lol). Dammy, you need a woman with a stronger personality, since you have a weakness with indecisiveness, you need a decisive companion. Just focus on her strengths rather than the weaknesses. I think I have laid so much emphasis on how my boo and I carryon, understanding each other and focusing on complimenting our weaknesses with each other's strengths has been very effective.

I also want you to note that though you can be with whoever you choose and work it out, its just much more easier when you understand temperaments and choose someone with a complimentary temperament whilst both θf you work hard at supporting each other to become better persons.

ooooooooooooooo
This Choleric people, their shakara too much abeg. Maybe because we are both extrovertish in nature, we hardly get along. In office, the cholerics in my team would always want my inputs submitted exactly the way (format) they want it plus the time they want it. Trust me naa, I'd always look for the easiest and the less stressful way of approaching quality solutions and most times, it won't be in their (cholerics) way. (who cares; as long as the solution output is accurate).
Other guys always prefer me around when the tension is high especially when we are working extra hours to meet deadlines. I try to make them relax and create fun out of the job while we execute. The cholerics always find this disgusting as they like to show off their strength (without team-work) the most, in times of pressure.

In life, I take a lot of things calm and easy. Truthfully, I can be lazy about many things too though. I sleep late, always catching one fun or the other on phone, TV or internet. Of course, often lazy to wake up early. I sleep a lot on weekends too if allowed, but my house is always the meeting point of my friends every weekend. so most times, we are either yabbing one another or hanging out in public/event places.

Please, just give me a Mel-san abeg. I don't like wahala at all. In fact, I've completed one and a half score and I've never fought anybody before in my life if you care to believe. She will be receptive to my jokes and she can always kick-start humour on my behalf, should I switch to phleg mode. As for her mood swings, God dey.

So, have I spoken well?

okay o, its your call. You have the right to choose what you think suits you best.

So what will a Sanguine Melancholic female like me need? I tend to like Phleg-Chlors, but they're all laid-back jerks (ignoring me after coming on strong).

Here's the thing: Sometimes, a choleric suits another choleric. You can't always use temperament as a guide. All I know is that I've never seen a dominant sanguine marry another dominant sanguine, someone has to shut up eventually. I have seen San-Chlor marry Chlor-San, some are unhappy.

dammytex:

ooooooooooooooo
This Choleric people, their shakara too much abeg. Maybe because we are both extrovertish in nature, we hardly get along. In office, the cholerics in my team would always want my inputs submitted exactly the way (format) they want it plus the time they want it. Trust me naa, I'd always look for the easiest and the less stressful way of approaching quality solutions and most times, it won't be in their (cholerics) way. (who cares; as long as the solution output is accurate).
Other guys always prefer me around when the tension is high especially when we are working extra hours to meet deadlines. I try to make them relax and create fun out of the job while we execute. The cholerics always find this disgusting as they like to show off their strength (without team-work) the most, in times of pressure.

In life, I take a lot of things calm and easy. Truthfully, I can be lazy about many things too though. I sleep late, always catching one fun or the other on phone, TV or internet. Of course, often lazy to wake up early. I sleep a lot on weekends too if allowed, but my house is always the meeting point of my friends every weekend. so most times, we are either yabbing one another or hanging out in public/event places.

Please, just give me a Mel-san abeg. I don't like wahala at all. In fact, I've completed one and a half score and I've never fought anybody before in my life if you care to believe. She will be receptive to my jokes and she can always kick-start humour on my behalf, should I switch to phleg mode. As for her mood swings, God dey.

So, have I spoken well?

You sound like a San-Phleg. Why do you want a Mel-san? Have you lived with one?? One minute they're happy, next they're upset. You won't know because her melancholic will hide her pain till it turns to anger (sanguine) and her sanguine bursts into floods of tears and anguish and the sun will stop shining once that starts (melancholic depression). She'll out-think you and outsmart and out-charm you, it's like living with a tv whose channel is BBC Knowledge and Comedy Central, lol. Never a dull moment. However, combine a passionate nature with a compassionate nature (sanguine) with a introverted nature which always wants to do right and is a perfectionist(melancholic). I hope you're ready for her conscience to be very strong, lol. Get ready for her to be super-organized (you will NEVER lose your underwear) and be messy at the same time (She won't understand why you have to fold clothes, but will organize shirts, trousers, socks and pants, separately). Listen to her, 99 percent of her ideas are seriously good. Also, she'll make an excellent political wife, sh'll earn you votes with how passionately she feels people's pain and her belief in you, plus her rational excellent ideas on how to do right while guaranteeing you don't steal. So don't be a politician in Naija.

signed, San-Mel

Yeah, savoured that thread 'how temperament affects career choice', it was indeed a nice read.

Dating a chlor? Nah, we'l just keep fighting, been there. A Phleg? Can't stand them. Attracted to sanguines, can't date them also but they always want it so but a Mel, PERFECTO!

Cowgurl, what's your temperament makeup?

From my post, deduce.

You know, you would have used less effort to answer the question as the answer actually requires you typing fewer words. Its okay though if you wanna be like this.

@spicy v, u really did a good job. I've read d book "why u act d way u do,by Tim Lahaye" severally and i cant summarise it yet or break it down explicitly d way u just did. It was indeed a very big job done, well done, my sister.
My temps are mel/chol and my hubby; mel/phl, d book "opposite attracts" by d same author also assist in relatinships.
Well done, if pple still reads, especially d type of these books, i think d rate of divorce will reduce drastically, but what do u have today, rushing into marriage without first looking at each other's temp, well, anyway,may God help us all.

Hey gg2 thanks for the appreciation, I celebrate you ma'am. Honestly, Tim is a blessed author! Never seen that book on opposites attract. Sounds like a great read. Have you seen Spirit controlled temperament? My oh my...

Between you and me, I think you make a great pair, you and your hubby. I am currently werking on another article on love languages, will look out for ya on that thread

Peace.

[quote author=spicy v]Hey gg2 thanks for the appreciation, I celebrate you ma'am. Honestly, Tim is a blessed author! Never seen that book on opposites attract. Sounds like a great read. Have you seen Spirit controlled temperament? My oh my...

Between you and me, I think you make a great pair, you and your hubby. I am currently werking on another article on love languages, will look out for ya on that thread

Peace.[/quote


thanks, my dear sister,
when we were courting, and preparing 4 our marriage, a marriage counsellor recommended d Tim Lahaye series for us,we bought d books together in Lagos here:
1 why u act d way u do
2 opposites attract
3 spirit-controlled temperaments
4 d act of marriage.
These books really helped us in our marriage, d man is a great and wonderful author, they are must- read 4 every and intending couples.
I'm nt boasting, my marrriage is a wonderful one,all thanks to d Almighty God and those dt God have given d wisdm to write down what is beneficial 4 we humans
God bless u!!

Sister, I knooow! Trust me I believe you because I have a great relationship too. Six years, a lot θf challenges but no cheating! Can you believe that so many people on this site find that hard to believe? Lol! Just because they never had it or can't do it. Wish you better testimonies dear.

spicy v: Sister, I knooow! Trust me I believe you because I have a great relationship too. Six years, a lot θf challenges but no cheating! Can you believe that so many people on this site find that hard to believe? Lol! Just because they never had it or can't do it. Wish you better testimonies dear.

u see, my sister, dt area "no cheating" is a no-go area, because nobody will believe u, i dont say mine too, because of dt same reason but i know 4 sure dt he has never cheated on me since we tied d knot, almost 8 yrs now.
May we continue to have more and better testimonies in jesus name and may God conrinue to give us d required wisdom and other things needed to not only be a good wife but also a wonderful mother and a virtous person............. Aaaameeen

Awwwww, Amen,Amen dear! Wooow! I feel refreshed everytime I read your posts. Where have you been? Lol! Love you dear.

spicy v: Awwwww, Amen,Amen dear! Wooow! I feel refreshed everytime I read your posts. Where have you been? Lol! Love you dear.

thanks, dear sister!

Onegai:

You sound like a San-Phleg. Why do you want a Mel-san? Have you lived with one?? One minute they're happy, next they're upset. You won't know because her melancholic will hide her pain till it turns to anger (sanguine) and her sanguine bursts into floods of tears and anguish and the sun will stop shining once that starts (melancholic depression). She'll out-think you and outsmart and out-charm you, it's like living with a tv whose channel is BBC Knowledge and Comedy Central, lol. Never a dull moment. However, combine a passionate nature with a compassionate nature (sanguine) with a introverted nature which always wants to do right and is a perfectionist(melancholic). I hope you're ready for her conscience to be very strong, lol. Get ready for her to be super-organized (you will NEVER lose your underwear) and be messy at the same time (She won't understand why you have to fold clothes, but will organize shirts, trousers, socks and pants, separately). Listen to her, 99 percent of her ideas are seriously good. Also, she'll make an excellent political wife, sh'll earn you votes with how passionately she feels people's pain and her belief in you, plus her rational excellent ideas on how to do right while guaranteeing you don't steal. So don't be a politician in Naija.

signed, San-Mel

OK mami,
Why I want a Mel-San? I'd still prefer her to a Mel-chol. Things will be a lot easy with her and I'm not sure I like female competition, I like to just respect and honour her for whom she is. Being a Mel, the most difficult thing about her would have to be mood swings and that I understand.

Out-think me; maybe. Out-smart me; even maybe but out-charm me; never (trust your guy naa). My Sanguine no be mumu oooo.
BBC Knowledge+Comedy Central=Perfecto. I always love humour while learning things. I remember things learnt while flexing than things learnt being serious. In fact, I hate being serious (weird right? don't worry; I know). Only God knows how I will propose. In school, I used to read my Engineering Maths textbook (Stroud 1 & 2) while strolling up and down the street.

Conscience; I guess that's a plus to my advantage.
Super organized; thank God. At last, I can find my pairs of socks well arranged somewhere.
Are you saying, Mel-sans could also be a Michelle Obama, a good political wife? Yeh pa!!!

Willing to pay any amount for a free MEL-SAN in the house please...

Waiting...

[quote author=dammytex]

OK mami,
Why I want a Mel-San? I'd still prefer her to a Mel-chol. Things will be a lot easy with her and I'm not sure I like female competition, I like to just respect and honour her for whom she is. Being a Mel, the most difficult thing about her would have to be mood swings and that I understand.

Out-think me; maybe. Out-smart me; even maybe but out-charm me; never (trust your guy naa). My Sanguine no be mumu oooo.
BBC Knowledge+Comedy Central=Perfecto. I always love humour while learning things. I remember things learnt while flexing than things learnt being serious. In fact, I hate being serious (weird right? don't worry; I know). Only God knows how I will propose. In school, I used to read my Engineering Maths textbook (Stroud 1 & 2) while strolling up and down the street.

Conscience; I guess that's a plus to my advantage.
Super organized; thank God. At last, I can find my pairs of socks well arranged somewhere.
Are you saying, Mel-sans could also be a Michelle Obama, a good political wife? Yeh pa!!!

Willing to pay any amount for a free MEL-SAN in the house please...

Waiting...

I've got a free, very pretty mel-san, who's an artist (she's an engineer too). She may be older than you sha. Are you over 28?

^
Are you kidding me?
I just clocked a score and a half last April.

Artist+Engineer; what king of combo is that?