sexkillz: A lion is not a Man. You cannot compare a man's intelligence and emotions to a lion's. . .

Try again.

Leobreezy: U've got a point. D girl has herself 2 blame for falling in love with "Jedidiah". I mean, wat did he use to woo her, a goat and a bottle of palm wine? Gosh!!

Lord_Reed:
I mention where you live as a contrast to your patronizing "love" for west african culture. You live in a modern society you sound like you don't want us to emulate and yet you want to preach.

Tell me do you travel to your village for cures when you are sick or do you only
applaud those who do? If you who are so enamored of "traditional" ways what are you doing in the UK?

The Asians have refined their culture with use of modern tools. You will not find an Asian who refuses modern medicine because they have incorporated it into practices they copied from the west. Or are you going to tell me they will pass up buying a nice car because they want to remain traditional? Please!

If that's what she feels will fly her boat who are you to judge?

pearl~hapi:
never a solution¤my bestfrnds bf used to be atypical of that dude the young lady just narrated but today they have the best love life any gal would ever wish for¤when I asked how she did it,simple she replied!I made him the kind of man I needed in him,she went further to state how she taught him a lot of things and even when he frowned at them all she would simply tell him I love u and that's why am here for you.she got him nice outfits and took time to explain how he should use them,atimes she purposely prepared what ops bf termed a white man food in d guys house and taught him how to use cutleries and why he needed such meals,my gf is the most loyal person av ever come across so even when the guy was gonna scream and shout and hate she still smilled and made him calm down.my dear op make ur bf the kind of man u want him to[my gfs bf was even worse]but today its all a story.correct him in love,be a mother and a friend and a sjister and I bet he would change•just don't frown wen he displays those he's archaic behaviour and use every opportunity to teach him,eg when he did what he did during your visit to your marid friend did you sit him down when u got home and explain why he shudnt av done what he did?or why he shud av just simply said thank you and maybe eat a little from the meal even if he didn't like it?did u take time to tell him that such things would make people loose respect for him?my dear if my friend of just about 21 years of age could make the best out of a man am sure you can do better•cheers

pearl~hapi:
and when did age become a factor for change?the guy needs help and the only gal that can help him is the woman in he's life.whatever happened to being there for the one you love huhn,or would you feel if your gf abandons you simply becos you av a foul attitude•my dear like I said earlier,if my gf could change her bf then op should do same[no one can ever outgrown changes]

Leobreezy: FYI dats a proverb, i wasn't in anyway comparing humans 2 animals. My point is, its obvious dis guy is antipathetic to modern lifestyle. Do u really expect him 2 change overnight? Don't be sentimental, be realistic.

beblessed: Hmmmmm. Op, i think you are still a teenager at heart. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your guy. He is simply not used to modern foods, facilities n propensities etc. For me, i love his kind of person. And i dont think you really love this man. True love will not use others to judge love. This guy is health conscious and so prefers local foods and remedies. You are not his type but i pray you dont miss him because he is very original. It's time you know what you want in a man and not what your family, friends,and society dictates for you.

pearl~hapi:
you obviously do not know a tin about love!you that knows how to woo a gal with cars and flowers,doooh you try

beblessed: Hmmmmm. Op, i think you are still a teenager at heart. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your guy. He is simply not used to modern foods, facilities n propensities etc. For me, i love his kind of person. And i dont think you really love this man. True love will not use others to judge love. This guy is health conscious and so prefers local foods and remedies. You are not his type but i pray you dont miss him because he is very original. It's time you know what you want in a man and not what your family, friends,and society dictates for you.

Leobreezy: Ur still naive, soon u'll understand. And by d way, i never said u have 2 give a girl a car 4 her 2 date u. My point is, didn't d op notice his primitive personae b4 she began dating him?? Or did he pretend 2 be 21st century?

sexkillz: The proverb is baseless in this case. No one is asking him, or expecting him to change overnight. Change is gradual, and her encouragement will accelerate that change. They have been together for 3 years and she should have started earlier than now. All hope is not lost since it is obvious she loves him and she likes that "good heart" of his. . . If she puts her mind to it, she can change him, although not completely.

There are exceptions to every rule.

ferhyntorlah:

This is good but what if the dude in question is not willing and ready to change? You know there are some men like that; no matter how you try to make them see reasons, they still won't bulge.

At the coloured:
This is a very good counsel; I thought I was the only one who saw what the guy did as being wrong and inappropriate.

pearl~hapi:
me naïve?well I hear you btw my advice is to Op and not people who think they already know everything and are perfect

shymexx:

Where did I assert that I don't want you to 'emulate' anything?? I just can't stand people who beg(force) it... If you're going to emulate anything, let it come to you in a gradual and more natural way, other than force it - and ridiculing people who want to do things in a more traditional and natural way, due to their upbringing is wrong... Hell yeah, I love West African culture(s), and I'm proud of it/them - have you got a problem with that?

I don't know why you want me to leave where I've lived all my life to make you happy, when I never told you to leave your abode... When you're in Rome, you act like the Romans, you're in Nigeria, find a Nigerian identity, and be that... And hell yeah, I do certain things in a more traditional/Yorubacentric way - I'm the best of both worlds..

Verbose!! And did the guy tell you he hates cars, or western gadgets?? And Asians use a mix of both Asian and western drugs - but their culture is still the same... They're still buddhists and hinduists, and they still do most things the way they have been doing for eons...

Who's she to ridicule an upright guy, who's happy the way he's?? For three years she never had a problem with it, only to wake up this morning and find him 'archaic' lol...

pearl~hapi:
thank God I gave an instance with my bestfriend so that should show that no one is above change and ehen before I forget,my friend drives one of the cutest cars we have in nigeria÷courtesy of the supposed village boy with lots of other things the guy has really done for her•this isn't a story I heard or was told,I SAW it happen so op just dnt abandone the guy abeg someday you would be proud of him

Leobreezy: Change him 2 become what?? She said he's local and frm her narration its obvious. Why are u guys being so quixotic?? What if he's not willing 2 change? And who said in dat 3 year period she hasn't attempted 2 change him? U can't remove a leopard's spots! If dis guy went 2 a university and the collegiate life of 4 years didn't change him, how do u think he will change? Be logical.

Leobreezy: We all possess diffrnt xters. D fact dat he was amenable doesn't mean all village guys are.

pearl~hapi:
why don't you believe in this word“change”even in movies you see village dudes who their spouse made a meaning out of their lives•it happens everyday and everywhere,how do I explain this to this boy?

pearl~hapi:
love conquers all,word!

sexkillz: Stay with him.

He has done nothing wrong. He is not to be blamed for how he was brought up. You are just being petty. There is nothing you perceive as a problem that he cannot overcome with a little encouragement from you.

That is all you need to do. . . Encourage him and quit being lazy. That is what a girlfriend should do. . .

ferhyntorlah:

It's easier said than done. What if he isn't willing to be changed? If she can tolerate him no wahala but if she can't, she can always leave atleast they are not married yet.

Life is too short and we only get to live it once. Poster, do whatever makes you happy.

Leobreezy: Are u a teenager or an adult?

Leobreezy: Are u comparing real life with fictional movies?? Besides, those village guys in d movies ADMIRE living in d city and all that. This guy is ANTIPATHETIC to modern lifestyle don't u get it?? Jeez!!

Lord_Reed:
]No I don't but I have a problem we people holding on to the past and ridiculing those who want to move forward. There is nothing natural about any culture. Men make culture as they please.

I don't want you to leave but I don't want you to tell me how to live either. I will advocate for change in our Nigerian culture in line with modern tools. I will not hold on to ancient practices that have been superseded by newer and better practices.

Loverboy bought an Audi 80 for 950k! That would get you a nice Honda babyboy or something comparable. Don't tell me that that was being traditional! As far I am concerned he was either being foolishly stodgy or he didn't make proper research. We will leave religion out this because it does not follow the normal rules.

She had always thought him archaic, she only has now brought things into proper perspective. Now she is ready to decide whether his archaic-ness is enough to make him unworthy of further consideration. This is not ridicule as you call it. She is facing up to reality and calling a spade a spade.

pearl~hapi:
I just the movies as an example•i still hold on to the fact dat the young man can change