1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Beancrying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too, I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful, is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

lmsao

What is wrong in Nairaland today.

Some one posted this joke this morning and i belive the poster didnt even bother to see today's posts before putting this.

Guy i'm fed up with this

_{screeches his BMW Z8 and heads for nightnurse's house. Damn, i need a break}

Very funny

Lmao.
4 asterix lmao! Again!

@efuah
someone posted SOME recently.

Damn! I'm roflmao

ituen:

What is wrong in Nairaland today.

Some one posted this joke this morning and i believe the poster didnt even bother to see today's posts before putting this.

Guy i'm fed up with this

_{screeches his BMW Z8 and heads for nightnurse's house. Damn, i need a break}

bite me

Migines:

@efuah
someone posted SOME recently.

thx buddy! i didn't know.

i knew ituen was fooling with nightnurse

nice one effuah,happy new year

Nice Joke efuah.

Long time, Happy new year.

now this what i call a humourous joke lmao

efuah howz baby boi and big brofa (siena) i miss u dear

thnaks for making ma dai

saucekid:

i knew ituen was fooling with nightnurse

nice one effuah,happy new year

happy new year to u too dear.

crazykid:

Nice Joke efuah.

Long time, Happy new year.

Yeah CK, really long time. . . happy new year to u too. ^{gat business for ya}

clemcykul:

now this what i call a humourous joke lmao

efuah howz baby boi and big brofa (siena) i miss u dear

thnaks for making ma dai

hi darl, my BB and son are all fine by HIS grace. . . miss ya too

Business is it money business? Which one abeg tell me.

Ofcus! the old business na ^{av got loads of heads for u}

nice joke

do u have a sister by name daytime-nurse?

Good one there efuah. Long time no hear!!!

av been around darl. . . my work seem to get worse each day (pressure!! )

ok. . .the Lord is your strenght my dear!!
It seems offices are in to stress-kill their workers!

@efua,
na, i have morning nurse sista, do u care for her?

@Efuah
Oh thanks I've even forgotten that you're my supplier; don't worry, I would call on you when I need them.

nightnurse, yeah i need her.

CK, i will be waiting.

efua are u a lesb***n? abi are u into women traffi**g please hint me so dat i'll know the kinda girl i'll supply ya

no no pls. . . i only need a "morning nurse" to take care of my old mom

Nice one

wetin remain wey i never hear?

u go soon hear say iteun don get tail

. . . And hair 4 chest.

Ok o we go then know when we go do with am.