My sympathy goes out a lot to the ladies because at the very end when their dressing provokes someone into raping them, when u ask them they'll simply say "why can't he face his front". Then the raper begins to get names like beast, monster and so on but we fail to realise the cause. Even the guys are not free from this indecency because with the latest crime rate and how our nigerian police make their arrest on innocent guys when u look into it u might fight out that it is the dressing of the guy in particular that warranted the arrest even if he is innocent. Many wise comments i've read and i'm proud to say that most people here are truly matured and the rest are just kids taking everything for fun unnecessarily.

greatgod2012: sometimes, i also feel like this but i hv come to realise dt its not actually d complete fault of d children, parents also share from this fault. Our children are very wise, they always test us when they know they are about to do smthing controvercial, they will do it and watch if we parents will caution them,once we fail to, tomorow, they wud do worse thing, we still dont talk, they do d worst, so as a parent, we have a lot in our hands to do,
1. We shd live as example to dm, i have observed, dt d home of a particular person tell alot abt him/her, how dy see dir parents dressing will tell alot how d children will be dressing.
2. While dy are growing up, lets impart moral in dm, lets make our children our friends and always sit dm down to talk senses into them, like good dressing, relatnship with others/God, living right, d type of friends to keep/have,etc,so by d time dy are no longer with us dy will always remember our teachings.
3. Lets always pray 4 dm and with dm and in d prayer,always mentioning what we dont want them to do and they wil say amen to it, its a very good way to tell dm u dont want such, for example, when we were growing,we normally pray together with ur mum, so once she says "Oh God, do not let .....(mention name)move with smbody dt will teach him how to steal" we all say Amen but we already know we are told not to steal.
My opinion anyway.
May God help us all.

i'm really impressed that u understand the need for parents to be fully involved in the affairs of their children, may God really bless u for this.

SalemLord: My sympathy goes out a lot to the ladies because at the very end when their dressing provokes someone into raping them, when u ask them they'll simply say "why can't he face his front". Then the raper begins to get names like beast, monster and so on but we fail to realise the cause. Even the guys are not free from this indecency because with the latest crime rate and how our nigerian police make their arrest on innocent guys when u look into it u might fight out that it is the dressing of the guy in particular that warranted the arrest even if he is innocent. Many wise comments i've read and i'm proud to say that most people here are truly matured and the rest are just kids taking everything for fun unnecessarily.

Now you have totally lost me. So rap3 is not "provoked" if na so, then go and rape mad women who move about naked, or rape the women who publiclly breasfeed.
I cannot even attempt to reason with your mindset. What seperates man from animals is self restraint and self control and if you will be "provoked" to rape then you are an ANIMAL. If you like a girl be man enough to step up and talk to her, if she accepts fine, she doesnt fine, it is her right and her choice and only an ANIMAL will take away that choice.

chaircover: Funny enough you be modest in your dressing and still look elegant. Things have changed over time and a lot of this is not the children's fault. Children will generally try it on with you and if they dont get any resistance from you their parents, then they carry on.

unfortunately, Many parents have nothing to offer their kids in terms of morality themselves, many "fathers" are sugar daddy's to these girls so how can they stop their own kids from wearing this.

Of course as usual we like to overdo oyinbo culture. It is Nigeria that I have seen kids born and bred in Nigeria who cant speak a word of another language apart from English and we are very good at picking and choosing the bad bits of the oyibno culture. Go to any decent school here and you will see the kids smartly dressed with blazers and ties, but go to any naija uni and you see the girls prancing around almost nakkked. The other day I even saw one naija youth pastor sagging and I just shook my head.

a wise mother talking and i truly pity for the so called pastor and his congregation of only God knows what kind of people he breeds. Thanks once more because u really hit the hammer on the nail talking about the fathers whom are supposed to be the head of the home but showing a very bad example to his kids, though he might try to hide it, remember that whatsoever a man sows that he'll surely reap.

debrief08:
Now you have totally lost me. So rap3 is not "provoked" if na so, then go and rape mad women who move about naked, or rape the women who publiclly breasfeed.
I cannot even attempt to reason with your mindset. What seperates man from animals is self restraint and self control and if you will be "provoked" to rape then you are an ANIMAL. If you like a girl be man enough to step up and talk to her, if she accepts fine, she doesnt fine, it is her right and her choice and only an ANIMAL will take away that choice.

i get ur point but remember that most guys who indulge in this don't reason as u do

tpia@:
if most people dress like hookers these days, then what are the actual hookers wearing, or how are people supposed to know the difference, and isnt the hooker market being spoiled since a lot of men wont be able to differentiate an average pedestrian from a streetwalker.

man u're so on point

SalemLord:
i get ur point but remember that most guys who indulge in this don't reason as u do

Decently dressed and indecently dressed women are molested, most people who rape do so because they are saddists, they feel pleasure when others are in pain, secondly, they may be under the influence of drugs, thirdly it gives them a sense of power, they are s3xual perverts, They are trying to "impress" their friends, They hate the lady.
It is not about dressing, Grandmothers and mothers recently had to protest constant rape in one village, 70 to 90 year old women, attacked when everyone is out because they are sick and weak, 6 month to 4 year old children are raped everyday, infact the highest rates of rapes occurs among this age group but goes unreported. Stop blaming the victim, even if a lady is indecently dressed she is not "asking for it". I wish we live in a sane society. This reasoning will land you in jail

SalemLord: My sympathy goes out a lot to the ladies because at the very end when their dressing provokes someone into raping them, when u ask them they'll simply say "why can't he face his front". Then the raper begins to get names like beast, monster and so on but we fail to realise the cause. Even the guys are not free from this indecency because with the latest crime rate and how our nigerian police make their arrest on innocent guys when u look into it u might fight out that it is the dressing of the guy in particular that warranted the arrest even if he is innocent. Many wise comments i've read and i'm proud to say that most people here are truly matured and the rest are just kids taking everything for fun unnecessarily.

you are so wrong, it is sickening....but the worst part of what you wrote is that many men in Africa think the way you do.
here is a clue for you: if you see your mother in such clothing, would you also ra.pe her or would you CONTROL YOURSELF?! its all about the type of person you are....and sadly, if you think that there is ANY legitimate reason whatsoever to ra.pe someone then you are a monster/beast indeed (no questions about it).

as for the police arresting innocent people, their dress sense has NOTHING to do with anything.....its the poor state of the Nigerian police that is the cause.

chaircover: Funny enough you be modest in your dressing and still look elegant. Things have changed over time and a lot of this is not the children's fault. Children will generally try it on with you and if they dont get any resistance from you their parents, then they carry on.

unfortunately, Many parents have nothing to offer their kids in terms of morality themselves, many "fathers" are sugar daddy's to these girls so how can they stop their own kids from wearing this.

Of course as usual we like to overdo oyinbo culture. It is Nigeria that I have seen kids born and bred in Nigeria who cant speak a word of another language apart from English and we are very good at picking and choosing the bad bits of the oyibno culture. Go to any decent school here and you will see the kids smartly dressed with blazers and ties, but go to any naija uni and you see the girls prancing around almost nakkked. The other day I even saw one naija youth pastor sagging and I just shook my head.

True dat!!!!!!

MRbrownJAY:

you are so wrong, it is sickening....but the worst part of what you wrote is that many men in Africa think the way you do.
here is a clue for you: if you see your mother in such clothing, would you also ra.pe her or would you CONTROL YOURSELF?! its all about the type of person you are....and sadly, if you think that there is ANY legitimate reason whatsoever to ra.pe someone then you are a monster/beast indeed (no questions about it).

as for the police arresting innocent people, their dress sense has NOTHING to do with anything.....its the poor state of the Nigerian police that is the cause.

you are right!!!! poor state of Nigerian police, illiteracy and lack of personal moral upbringing, there are more perverts in a country like Nigerian, than the western coutries, they will rape a woman wearing their native buba and iro, and a 7 month old baby.....uselessness every wehere.

Becacia_Barbie:
Lool...whr are the children Nd must u comment?? I aint fightn enyone, busybody! Its a free world okay! I gat my opinion nd u gat urs...if u dnt like mine...Deal wid it!!!

Dullard.What do you expect from a barbie doll?

No one has d ryt to define wot is deceno or indecent or does d nigeria constitution specify decent dress n indecent dress,smh.nigerians remind me of pharisees,religious bigots,dey want everyone to knw dey r goin to church but dia lifestyle contradicts wot dey preach.poster if u r busy and av a job,u wont av tym to notice weda someone is dressin decent or indecent.smh

kulyie: No one has d ryt to define wot is deceno or indecent or does d nigeria constitution specify decent dress n indecent dress,smh.nigerians remind me of pharisees,religious bigots,dey want everyone to knw dey r goin to church but dia lifestyle contradicts wot dey preach.poster if u r busy and av a job,u wont av tym to notice weda someone is dressin decent or indecent.smh

whether u're working or not u most notice it, don't u live inside a compound in a street, don't u work be it an office or a market, so what are u saying or are ur eyes not seeing them?

chaircover: A lot of people are saying that it doesnt matter and everyone should mind their own biz but actually it does matter.

I have a question for the ladies saying it doesnt matter; if your husbands sec wore revealing dresses to work everyday will you feel comfortable with it?

The truth is that many of these girls (and some men too) dress to impress and attract the opposite sex. Well, lets be truthful here and just agree with that. We also have to agree that not all men can look and take away their eyes, and many want to taste what is beyond the flimsy dress and the half covered bossoms. Could this be one of the many reasons why marriages of today are breaking up left right and center due to infidelity?

All these girls called aristos certainly didnt catch their sugar pappys wearing turtle neck under iro and buba. . . .. yes yes yes a man that will cheat will cheat but he stands a greater risk if loosing it one day when the secretary has leaned over his desk with boobies falling out of her low cut flimsy top for the 20th time in one day.

Yes the idea is to mind ones biz but eventually somehow no matter how little, the decay in the society will affect us. We dont do drugs but I cant bury my head in the sand and say because we dont do drugs in my home, drugs in general doesn't concern me. It does and I have to teach my children about drugs and make sure that I explain the disadvantages of it because one day they may be offered it when I am not there. It concerns me because people on drugs can cause accidents, commit crimes to fund their habit.

Take another example of the sms/bbm/internet speak the youth of today speak/type. Many cant even speak/write good English to start with and now they are making things worse. I have people writing me covering letters on CV's and using that annoying internet speak. If we are not careful, it will soon take over. Imagine someone starting a discussion with me on facebook saying "I" - instead of saying Hi or Hello.

Well, it is not my business or responsibility to do fashion police for my husbands colleges or other girls and women he may come accroos with, It is my responsibility to be with a man who respects me, our vows and family so much that even if a girl is naked before him he will say " Thanks but no thanks". These ladies do not owe me or any wife any thing, My husband does, Temptation is everywhere, it is both of you who have decided to forsake all others who have the responsibility to keep that vow. Are we saying married men in Saudi dont have affairs? There where women are covered from head to toe? Affair is beyond the temptation of dressing, it is about the thrill of sneaking and lack of self control.
In most cases of people I know most men even go for less attractive women than their wives.
Loose girls can dress the way they want but the man who saw all these girls and decided to hang on to one should hang onto that one, it is not their responsibility to keep our marriages

chaircover: No one is asking you to do fashion police for your husband. It is also naive to think that all men will remain strong in the face of temptation. Some will certainly fall and it is usually the ones that one never would have thought it of that will fall. You have been on the family section for a while now and it is day after day thread after thread of infidelity; we even have a thread opened today by a woman who says her husband keeps on staring at other women. It will interest me to find out what these women are wearing. As for the Saudi men having affairs I know nowt about that.

The discussion started with the OP asking an innocent question about the correlation between indecent dressing and fashion.

Like I said madam, the only one who owes me anything is my Husband not any girl, even if they are naked. If he is tempted then he should resist. Simple. He has marital vows and not them. My husbands fidelity or lack of it is not their fault, they are not the ones with marital vows. They will not put a gun on his head, He is responsible for his actions not them.

chaircover: Debrief that he owes you his fidelity doesn't mean that he will do it. Almost all men that made their vows on their wedding day would have said the same thing and deep down in them probably wanted to remain fiathful to their wives . . . . . Whether they fall by the way side is a different thing.

You yourself have said severally on this forum the folly of men who go for the wrong things in women that they date/marry instead of character and we all also know that men are moved by what they see so yes many will be moved by the bare flesh that they see below swaying hips.

We are in happy marriages and we trust our men but lets not assume that all men will be like that. Even men of God fall.

I agree but whatever happens it is me and my husband not the fault of any of these ladies. i also get tempted by wealthier men who will give anything for an affair, I say No thank you and that is it. So would I now blame them for having too much money and throwing it at my face if i decide to cheat? If I decide to cheat as an easy way to get my RR Sport it would be a conscious choice and not the fault of the man who saw m weakness and greed and used it for his benefit.
I would never blame the other woman should my husband cheat, my marriage is between me and him no one else

SalemLord:
whether u're working or not u most notice it, don't u live inside a compound in a street, don't u work be it an office or a market, so what are u saying or are ur eyes not seeing them?

even if i see dem,my purpose for comin to work is to treat d documents for d day,account to my boss n live,i am so into wot i am doin dat i am less bothered weda someone os dressin decently or indecently,d bottomline is dat wen u r nt idle,u will not notice anybodys dressin,its people who dont av work dat take dia tym to study peoples dressing from head to toe,by d way wot is my buisness,am i her father,mother,boss or relation.nigerians should learn to mind their buisness for once and nigeria will b a beta place for all

.

How u dress will determine how u ll be addressed. Yes, evry1 want to blend with d latest style n fashion but i say we do it in a sensible way. And as for sagging, extreme clevage exposure, tatooing, crazy haircuts(4 girls), tommy exposure, if u tink all these are stil a fashion trend, i'll say u C.RA. Z Y n must be locked up. If d above listed are curbed out of our daily dressings, imagine how modest we ll look like.

chaircover: No one is asking you to do fashion police for your husband. It is also naive to think that all men will remain strong in the face of temptation..

words of wisdom, chaircover!!!
women would believe what they want to believe anyways but one thing is clear - every man on the planet would cheat in the face of temptation provided he's séxually attracted to the tempter!

coogar:

words of wisdom, chaircover!!!
women would believe what they want to believe anyways but one thing is clear - every man on the planet would cheat in the face of temptation provided he's séxually attracted to the tempter!

It is also an irresponsible man that will get a hard-on at every nippppllle or clapping bakaasi, it is a half-baked who is less of the man 'the Bible calls them' that will drool just because he is seeing a lady in a clinging dress. So they cannot look away, abi? and plead the Blood of Jesus, or do you think money does not entice women too? Any woman that comes here to lie that money does not entice them is a LIAR!!!!!!! don't be decieved. But we all have been brought up in different ways and have learnt self control in so many ways, and i think men should also learn self control and stop having 'talking pants' and giving unnecessary excuse that men cheat...what do you wnat to teach your male-children?

Imagine dressing with mini skirt, tank/spagehetti top and boots .
Just to waka for inside Shoprite you hardly see oyinbo dressing to the Z in the malls.
common now! We copy oyinbo wrongly.

I was in a place in south-south last year, and i couldn't differentiate between hookers and non-hookers. It's a known fact that u'l b adressed with respect 2 how u dress. Decency is a treasure and as such, it must b taken seriously. *grabs agbada and cap*

ronkebp:
It is also an irresponsible man that will get a hard-on at every nippppllle or clapping bakaasi, it is a half-baked who is less of the man 'the Bible calls them' that will drool just because he is seeing a lady in a clinging dress. So they cannot look away, abi?

every? yes........a particular type? no!!
look away and plead the blood? there are different levels of temptation and men handle them differently too. of course, some men are so randy that they would stare @ anything in skirt!! some men are disciplined not to be thrilled by what they see and they would look away! finally, there are times when men look away and the tempter pushes the envelope in hot pursuit! now, how many men would genuinely resist such advances when it appears no one is watching and the task seems effortless?

and plead the Blood of Jesus, or do you think money does not entice women too? Any woman that comes here to lie that money does not entice them is a LIAR!!!!!!!

money does not entice some women - matter of fact, the only reason they would turn down a man's request is because he has money! they are aware such men are always sought after and they don't want to keep fighting concubines every now and then so they go for the dude with less dough and equal substance!

don't be decieved. But we all have been brought up in different ways and have learnt self control in so many ways, and i think men should also learn self control and stop having 'talking pants' and giving unnecessary excuse that men cheat...what do you wnat to teach your male-children?

there are different levels to self control - when a man tells you he refused a sêxual advance from a female - there are various reasons to it. it does not necessarily mean he did it because he's "faithful". the tempter might not be his type, he might not even have the financial resources to take up such task or he doesn't even want to take risks as madam always breathes down his neck..........however, when a man feels no one is watching plus there's zero effort from him to get laid and the tempter scores high in his scorecard - 99.9999% of the men out there would take the opportunity!

as per what lessons to teach the kids, tomorrow would take care of that! i wasn't taught anything as a kid - i learnt every detail myself from older friends and my immediate environment!

ronkebp:
It is also an irresponsible man that will get a hard-on at every nippppllle or clapping bakaasi, it is a half-baked who is less of the man 'the Bible calls them' that will drool just because he is seeing a lady in a clinging dress. So they cannot look away, abi? and plead the Blood of Jesus, or do you think money does not entice women too? Any woman that comes here to lie that money does not entice them is a LIAR!!!!!!! don't be decieved. But we all have been brought up in different ways and have learnt self control in so many ways, and i think men should also learn self control and stop having 'talking pants' and giving unnecessary excuse that men cheat...what do you wnat to teach your male-children?

i am sorry to say that self control has all to do with YOUR ACTIONS, but nothing to do with the natural reaction of the male body. any normal man would have a hardon naturally in this situation, unless the guy was impotent...... the catch is that only the irresponsible one would try to cheat.
so let make this clear: IT IS NOT IRRESPONSIBLE TO HAVE A HARD ON (when a man sees some bouncing juggs squeezed in bras etc)

MRbrownJAY:

i am sorry to say that self control has all to do with YOUR ACTIONS, but nothing to do with the natural reaction of the male body. [b] any normal man would have a hardon naturally in this situation, unless the guy was impotent[/b[..... the catch is that only the irresponsible one would try to cheat.
so let make this clear: IT IS NOT IRRESPONSIBLE TO HAVE A HARD ON (because a man sees some bouncing juggs squeezed in bras etc)

i think it depends on the nipplës in display here and the carrier - not all men would cop erèctions to such view - she has to be appealing!

bro, nîpple is way too much......... just breast squeezed in a wonderbra would do the magic for the majority.

MRbrownJAY: bro, nîpple is way too much......... just breast squeezed in a wonderbra would do the magic for the majority.

i grudgingly agree - the environment also plays a role here! a dude who has been used to going to em beaches and seeing jugs all the time would have been used to such stuff than a complete villager who is seeing such for the first time!