Angelahoney: Men in NL sometimes act as boys. What is the sense in kneeling down and serving him?

Humility is not by outward display. Ps act as real men.

from ur story and comment so far i can see that u justified ur action as been right and i can see that u are not that submissive, u better go on total submission to ur husband and ask him to forgive all ur wrong doing. as for ur husband all u are seen now is the summary of all ur wrong doing from the beginning of ur marriage with him

Angelahoney:

No I'm not. I'm as logical as you. Fact is many men think they're the only ones who can reason. They see women are emotional beings. But I expected my husband to ask me why I decided to use cat fish to cook egusi soup instead of goat meat.

I can see that u are equally a very stubborn and egocentric lady. U want the man 2 come and ask u why when he gave a simple and clear instruction. Why didn't u ask him b4 doing your wish? Sincerely I don't wanna comment on this issue cos the story is so disgusting. She would have gone ahead 2 market herself why is she telling us. By the way I perceive that u are still single. because no reasonable married woman will reason like u

Wow. It must be the weather or something. . .I read the first page of the thread and virtually all the ladies made sense and were reasonable in their replies! There's hope afterall.

There's nothing more to be said. Unfortunately, the OP and her kind would never change. . .the marriage would hit the rocks sooner or later.

Not even God can change a woman afflicted with congenital stubbornness. It is a hopeless case; wise men recognise these types early enough and flee for their lives.

Woman why do u come here crying wolf wen u knw u r bein sturbon and stupid, if u think u r stil marketable then leave him and go marketing lets see if its that easy, abi u no ask those single sisters out there? If u knw wots gud for u, go and cook what he asked you to cook and go on your kneels with a bootle of wine to appeace him.

Angelahoney: Men in NL sometimes act as boys. What is the sense in kneeling down and serving him?

Humility is not by outward display. Ps act as real men.

It's obvious you don't respect the opinions you get here,i'm not suprised you are in the situation you are in with a comment like that.

I don't mean to judge you,but from my reckoning you have little respect for men;and your husband is not an exception.Things you regard as little,such as disobedience,destroys marriages.

Angelahoney: Hello Nlanders. I have been hearing a lot about this site for a long time. I often visit this site but I've never been a member.
I have a problem with my marriage and I hope there are matured people who can help.
My husband of 5 years want to divorce me for trivial reason. It even sounds funny talking about it.

Last week he asked me to buy fresh catfish and goat meat. He said he wanted to eat catfish pepper soup, while I prepare egusi soup with the goat meat. I wanted something different so I prepared goat meat pepper soup and used the cat fish for egusi soup.
His inlaws came and they enjoyed it. But my husband was frowning. He said I'm too stuborn and he refused to talk to me. He has refused to sleep with me. I can't go a week without his sensual touch. To crown it all, he's threatening for a divorce. What do I do?

Pls your advice is needed. Thank. (I'm still pretty and marketable but he doesn't appreciate that).

Madam b4 ur husband can call u STURBON means and shows that u have been doing alot of thigs without his consent or outside his expectations.

He must have been tired or pissed off for correcting you like a baby all the time thats why he is calling for a divorce.

Madam just imagine ur house girl if you have one fails to obey your simple instructions how will you fill?

Even in the Bible God loves obedient servants. God cannot even bless us if we are not yielding to his commandments.

The bible says humble yourself b4 your husband and husband you can now love ur wife.

If you fail to practice this simple principle from the word of God then crisis will abound.

HUMILITY = OBIDEINCE = COMMITTMENT = DEVOTION = CONTENTMENT.

SOLUTIONS

Prayerfully go back to him, go on your kneels and embraced his legs and asked for forgiveness.

Prepared his favourite meal and eat with him.

Look sexy and get ready for action that day.

Always abide by his simple instructions and directions. HE IS THE CROWN OF YOUR HEAD.

ALL IS WELL.

arramyjay:

Geez, u are what is wrong wit dis world. Her not cooking catfish pepper soup means she is not submissive?

I think you are the wrong one here. She could cook him another delicacy at another time if she wanted but at this time, the man ordered fish pepper soup and not goat pepper soup. If she was desperate to do something different, she could have convinced the customer.

A good way to keep your customers is to deliver what they did not order while fantasizing that they will jump up at it. Yea open a grocery shop and deliver carrot when your customer pays for green beans after all they are all veggies.

arramyjay: He is very immature if he is asking for divorce over catfish pepper soup,do u hv a job? I say ignore him and concentrate on other things,be nice to him whtevr u do.waste no energy on him. Pls how old is ur husband?

I don't if u are male or female. But I know from ur post that u are absolutely immature. If u are male, I can bet that u take pleasure in sleeping with people's wives. Anu ohia!

my sister, obedience is better than sacrifice. My advice for you is to lay aside every habit that's slowly killing your home and lastly go to your husband,say something like this 'dear,l sincerely apologize for every of my wrong doings,l want you to know that you're my special gift from God without that l won't be so lucky to get a wonderful husband like you.l love and appreciate you.please, forgive my disobedience.

It is well with you

Angelahoney: Hello Nlanders. I have been hearing a lot about this site for a long time. I often visit this site but I've never been a member.
I have a problem with my marriage and I hope there are matured people who can help.
My husband of 5 years want to divorce me for trivial reason. It even sounds funny talking about it.

Last week he asked me to buy fresh catfish and goat meat. He said he wanted to eat catfish pepper soup, while I prepare egusi soup with the goat meat. I wanted something different so I prepared goat meat pepper soup and used the cat fish for egusi soup.
His inlaws came and they enjoyed it. But my husband was frowning. He said I'm too stuborn and he refused to talk to me. He has refused to sleep with me. I can't go a week without his sensual touch. To crown it all, he's threatening for a divorce. What do I do?

Pls your advice is needed. Thank. (I'm still pretty and marketable but he doesn't appreciate that).

I laugh at your stupidity. You have turned yourself to a commodity. Why not adhere to simple instruction. People wake up every morning and different things run through their mind which includes food. He wanted fish, you gave him goat. Tomorrow if he needs water you'll give him alcohol. Have his relatives talked to him, they should be able to convince him why you prepared the food contrary to his appetite.

Marriage of 5 years. Firstly madam,do u have children cos they strenghten union btw couple. I need to assume that u dnt have cos how else would u wana leave ur marriage just like that. 2. You are sturborn and non submissive. You see the culture of oyinbo people is different 4rm ours. A key ingredient in the success of marriage here is absolute submisn. God said in d bible that husband should love their wife and wife to SUBMIT to their hubby but oyinbo's culture didnt want that. 3. I dnt think u love ur hubby and truly ready 4 marriage when u did. Why else would u wana jump at divorce. Me think u married him cos of money. That explains ur unbearable urge 4 intimacy in a week. What happens if he travel 4 a month. You'l bring another man(one of those men eyeing u making u feel MARKETABLE) into ur matrimonial bed. Finally,even if u divorce and remarry,exept u marry a woman,no sane single man wil want a sturborn and averagely submissive Quarter-to woman 4 a wife. Off course u can get those Alhajis as 10th wife. My dear,apologze on ur kneel and swallow ur pride b4 its 2 late

Good day dear,
It really wonderful getting into the union though @ times one tends to go against ones desire because of unity.However,we men really believe on authority failure usually brings about sad mind set, I urge you to just summon courage and accept what happened as your error and beg and please if you have to change his opinion,let him be aware.Surely he should accept your apology.

This what happens to young gals dat watch too many nollywood movies.matured bodies retarded minds,when he divorces you,u will become a philosopher

Hi d lady wrote dat: am gonna b lukin at it frm d angle of law u see ur husband can't use dat reason to divorce u cos the court will only grant a divorce wen d marriage has broken down irritrivably and unda dat category y ur husband wants to divorce u is flimsy and am sure d judge won't grant dat divorce. But u too d bible says wives submit to ur husband he said cook dis and u are cookin dat its disrespect why nt take part of d wateva meat and cook a little portion of wat u feel like eating. Everythin will b fine IJN prepare him exactly wat he wanted dat day and appologise to him

[b]

Kobojunkie:

a) Your story sounds ridiculous. If you need to make something up, you can definitely do a better job than the above. I mean "I can't go a week without his sensual touch" . . . where did you get that silly line from? A terrible Nollywood movie? Abeg . . stop watching all that trash and get you some good books to read.

b) You claim the husband in this scenario accuses the wife of being too stubborn. That is fine and well. Personally, I don't see any problem in the wife cooking what she did. I mean if the man really wanted to eat perppersoup and etc. surely he could have done it himself, if it meant that much to him to have it exactly as he wanted it. A wife is not a slave and a wife does not have to do exactly what a husband says. A wife is a partner and not a slave. So here we have a husband that may really feel it is OK to divorce on grounds that she didn't do exactly what he says, it might turn out for her own good.

c) As for the answer to the question of what to do, I say you think about what divorce and his threats really mean, If you don't want divorce, and you are willing to settle with the situation with the husband, then do what you have to, to maintain it. If however, you want chance and you are willing to accept the consequences that come with the change, go for it. This is your life.

[/b]

Kono Junkie when did it become a slavish act for a woman to cook for her husband? I do respect your comments on NL but as it stands right now i am totally disappointed because you have lost it. I know you are not married and i am sot sure you will be married after all getting married is not compulsory,it is not a curse oooooo but the truth.

What a joke, you are here looking for someone to support your stubbornness, you obviously have bigger issues and the poor man is fed up, you are not a child,you know what to do to save your marriage.

190:


But wait ooh woman why would you prepare CATFISH for egusi, dont u know that fish isnt good for soups
what kinda woman are you, he told you wat he wanted and yet you went ahead and did waht you wanted without his knowledge
nor be him give you money take buy the things, if he goes out and eat EGUSI and Goat meat in another girl's house
you'l come baq here and cry FOUL, u better go baq and apologize to him cos if u were my wife


Na FAN BELT i go take WIPE your NYASH PEEL

mind you cat fish goes down well with Okro soup *wink* if u knw wat I mean. Lol

Cheiiii una get sharp mouth for NL oo. Woman where art thou?? Una don drive this woman commot for NL. I no see her break-light in all d comments again, as no one gree support her.
Madam abeg no mind them jare, u fit divorce ur hubby, come marry me buh u go be wife numb 3 ooo, lol
Jokes appart @OP, they hav said it all. Respect ur hubby's opinion and settle scores wt him and make urself a virtuos woman that u re! then ur marriage will be heaven on earth..Cheers

hentosky: I don't if u are male or female. But I know from ur post that u are absolutely immature. If u are male, I can bet that u take pleasure in sleeping with people's wives. Anu ohia!

And the guy asking for divorce over pepper soup isn't.bodo.

arramyjay:

Good so he shud be divorcing her for those issues nt pepper soup issue,it just goes to show the kind of man he his,he can't talk about wht is distrubing him,instead he hides on the cover of pepper soup. See except the girl was giving to the guy u knw like free gift,not talking about his anger is just to show he is childish.

Ask your friend to tell us how happy that marriage has been till the fish and pepper soup issue. You are just supporting her because she is a fellow woman who must be supported against men. It is obvious that the present issue is that of the last straw that broke the camels back.

@OP, How often do you challenge your husband or regard him as a small boy and not a real man?

arramyjay:

Like I wrote Sit down and don't type again.if u had an IQ greater than 0.0 u wud knw tht even if she isn't d 1 providing she shud be able to manage wht was provided.And besides this is how I knw u are completely off ur head, a guy is divorcing his wife over pepper soup and u see nothing wrong wit tht,yuck and u some day will be d head of a family hahahaha.bodo.

just look at your name...it sounds deluded,just like you! I can see you have just concluded from the OPs post that the hubby just wants to divorce her because of that non.sense she wrote! Gosh! The bible says obidience is better than sacrifice! And she was wrong morally and on all grounds.! U are a dis_grace to your generations 4 that mindset! Olodo

agabaI23: I think you are the wrong one here. She could cook him another delicacy at another time if she wanted but at this time, the man ordered fish pepper soup and not goat pepper soup. If she was desperate to do something different, she could have convinced the customer.

A good way to keep your customers is to deliver what they did not order while fantasizing that they will jump up at it. Yea open a grocery shop and deliver carrot when your customer pays for green beans after all they are all veggies.

And he is doing d right thing by divorcing her over peper soup!

@ OP
Now that the women (and men) have spoken up, what do you think? Are their claims that you are indeed stubborn true?
No comments from you since.

Yahoo1: just look at your name...it sounds deluded,just like you! I can see you have just concluded from the OPs post that the hubby just wants to divorce her because of that non.sense she wrote! Gosh! The bible says obidience is better than sacrifice! And she was wrong morally and on all grounds.! U are a dis_grace to your generations 4 that mindset! Olodo

Grow up then come back to chat. Ignoring u.

I ill tell u dis, base on my esperienced.
1. Obedient is better than sacrifies,
some men can do anything for woman that obey them, because that make them man of whom they like to be.
If u disobey them, is like you are telling them, they are less man.

2. Respet ! respet !! respet!!! Respet your Husband, let him be the driver and you be the conductor, and the children to be the pasengers. Automaticaly, things ill work well

3. And lastly, call him and tell him you are sorry. Ask him what you are doing that is hotting him, and you also tell him yours, then both of you should promise to make adjust.

arramyjay:

Geez, u are what is wrong wit dis world. Her not cooking catfish pepper soup means she is nt submissive?

No, disobedient.

There is a yoruba proverbs which saya " ounje ti baale ile ko kin je, iyawo ile ko gbodo see" sorry if I didn't fully get it, but it means, what the man(head of the house, and performs his duties well) doesn't want, the wife shouldn't do it. African men desire utmost respect and submission from their wives, and even those who allow women rights development still place a little restrictions. If he performs his duties as a MAN, ma you may be the one to buy and cook it, but you have to buy and cook what he wants you.

hentosky: I don't if u are male or female. But I know from ur post that u are absolutely immature. If u are male, I can bet that u take pleasure in sleeping with people's wives. Anu ohia!

no mind that mo.ron jare! Na 'its' (u cant refer to someone with such mindset as a him/her) mama wey buy phone give am,na her fault

arramyjay:

And he is doing d right thing by divorcing her over peper soup!

He is not divorcing her over pepper soup, he threatened to divorce her over her protracted stubbornness, disrespect and disregard of his authority part of which was manifested in the pps issue

arramyjay:

Again I am replying to wht d poster wrote,about her husband threaten her wit a divorce over pepper soup.

U are not a good advicer

arramyjay:

Grow up then come back to chat. Ignoring u.

....we obviously know who needs growing up,with your level of IQ,Ummmm,wich is minus zero!

WAM?:
There is no taking sides here my sister- your husband is your crown. I know and understand what it is to be stubborn. It wouldn't take you to far. If you want your marriage- pick your battles. A man who threatens to divorce you over goat meat has been keeping quiet over several issues that seem trivial to you. My advice to you is to apologize sincerely and make things right asap however possible
.
In the long term- drop the stubbornness !!! If that man leaves you today - your life would not be the same . Forget that story about being marketable o- what would you tell the next man the reason for your divorce? Would he be ready to deal with your stubbornness?Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Submission is key- he wants goat meat give him goat meat- or try asking if he minds cat fish- not outrightly disobeying him. How many times does he tell you what he wants in the food? If he requests it this time - give it to him. Don't mess up what you have- its not worth it.

Great one.