**God help me to throw away my laptop. I bind NairaLand from my life in Jesus name .**

CONVERSION EXPERIENCE

Welcome new christian to the body of christ
We popularly call your conversion experience: being "Born Again"
You've been promised the world. Ok.
Well there are somethings u were not told, and will find out for yourselves with time

We all have different experiences of how this conversion happened. I'll share mine. Others can share theirs

For me, I was lonely without my family nearby and in Secodary school
I picked a tract on the road, and in it, I was told that I would go to hell if I don't repent. There was actually a picture of folks being roasted
I had picked such tracts before, but this one hook me well well especially as I had thrice had a dream of the judgement. The scene was set against the small varendah of my room. the dreams were scary.

I be aje, so I no like pain at all. I no even like sun, the thing almost fit melt me
So the thoughts of my precious skin roasting for eternity was really scarry

I almost kneel down for road oo
Na im I run go house quick, quick forgeting the chick I wanted to toast
I prayed as was instructed in the tract
Immediately, I felt a peace, like weights had been lifted off me.
No voices saying you've been accepted, but that was good enough


To be extra sure, I was quite early in going to church that sunday, and in the alter call, I gave my life to christ again
In the evening service which I also attended with the zeal of a new convert, I gave my Life again. I no one hear story. The pastor must have noticed me, or maybe na holyspirit tell am. The pastor then said that once we don born again, that is it. No need to come out again. So I felt more confident

SPEAKING IN TONGUES EXPERIENCE

After my conversion experience, I wasn't sure of exactly what to do, but I went to church regularly anyways
Sermon was boring, but well, I was now born again, and couldn't admit it

Some weeks after being born again, my church had a revival
An envangelist was invited to my very orthodox church
My pastor was one of those renegade orthodox pastors when dey use style like pentecostals, but are kind of trapped in the othordox circle
Nna men, see pentecostalism meeting orthodoxy

Na im the envangelist talk about speaking in tongues, and how we need to receive it.
I was a babe in christ, so anything wen pastor talk I would gladly do
Na im we start to pray
I can never forget that day
I dey pray, actually repeating things over and over again, wanting to get this new experience
suddenly .............gbam!!
I couldnt understand what I was saying anymore, but was loving it
Tongue start to dey roll out, it was like I was on fire inside
** I actually love my own speaking in tongues its so smooth, im be like fonne**
O boy see boldness wen come over me


I was enjoying the fire within, plus my new improved accent, but the prayer session had to end
As I walked back home in the night,
I felt like knocking and banging on the gates and telling them about Jesus
** In hindsight, thank God I didn't do that o**
I also felt like screaming in the streets
U see, thats why the apostles where described as being drunk on the day of pentecost
I got home and continued experimenting with my new language. It was such fun

BABE IN CHRIST

When I got to school with my new boldness, I started to do some small preaching in school
Also did some small preaching in the bus

I dey waka back from church one day, na im I see Jehova witness they preach to some people
** I had heard that Jehova witness no believe in hell, so that means na devil dem be was our conclusion. Dem wan convert people to their religion so that dem go go hell abi**
I was filled with righteous indignation, na im I approach them
Busy body me, I asked what they were discussing
Then set on the task of rubbishing their claims before the potential convert

I was quick to bring up the issue of hell,
They asked questions about Adam and others in the bible, if they would therefore be in hell?
Me I no get answer, but I did a good job of beating around the bush
Afterall, the scripture had said that when we are before the councill, we would be given utterances by the spirit

In conclusion, I told my own small council that if there was no hell, I would drop my bible
**This stupid statement haunted me later for many years, thank God it did**

Evangelizing

With my burning passion for the gospel (gospel get the way im dey change with time)
I continued in school although I was almost tempted to drop out and be an envangelist

Some of my friends come dey use style dey avoid me
For the others, I worked on converting them
from xtianity which they where already born into
to emm, emm... being 'born again'

I was quick to lay my hands on them after some prayer sessions
and transfer the gift of tongue speaking to them
They however seemed to prefer my own
But well, na dem know. Make dem go ask baba God

I was a teenager, and did have some lil e..rections once in a while aplenty
when i looked at both the shapely budding girls of the world and the sisters
But I quickly spoke in tongues
and asked God for forgiveness

No fellowship in my school? how come?
I set about mobilizing for this to happen

CHURCH POLITICS

I pushed the ukponkus/edionwas/babas of xtiandom in my school
who had been dormant all this while to start a fellowship
You see my little friends in the lord, there is some difference between old brooms and new brooms
The old brooms have all grown weary, that's why they talk about revivals
On the other hand the new brooms dey hyperactive, just like U

Fellowship starts, suddenly the rusted bolts became agile
the greyed-haired xtians start appreciating leadership and want to be the first to preach
Just like their mentors they watch on TV
I was assured that my turn will soon come

It never came, No, not on that platform
You see young uns, Jesus understood the proclivity (*kai see grammer*)of the church elders
Thats why he kept on telling Peter, "if you truely love me"
"Please take care of my sheep"


U see dear ones, we are humans who happen to be Gods
much like those greek tales of their gods who had human emotional baggage


You'll soon find the elders groping you lecherously
lieing against you
stealing from you
sleeping with and marrying your girlfriends or wives
teaching you what even they don't understand

Don't worry, It all comes with the turf
No be today im start. U'll grow out of the shock
and learn wisdom and discernment

esere826:
I dey pray, actually repeating things over and over again, wanting to get this new experience
suddenly .............gbam!!
I couldnt understand what I was saying anymore, but was loving it
Tongue start to dey roll out, it was like I was on fire inside
** I actually love my own speaking in tongues its so smooth, im be like fonne**
O boy see boldness wen come over me

That's what I'm talking about. When I begin speaking in tongues, I don't want to be able to control it. I want it just to flow uncontrollably.

Omo Alata:

That's what I'm talking about. When I begin speaking in tongues, I don't want to be able to control it. I want it just to flow uncontrollably.

I feel you sister Omo Alata

I guess you are already a tongue speaker, right?

CASTING OUT DEMONS

In one of our school fellowships, a guy stood up amongst our small congregation
This was my first encounter with a 'demon possessed person'
He begin accting strange, looking around in anger and threathening the student that was preaching

There seemed to be some excitement and relish in the eyes of the self assigned xtian elders
They happily led him away from the gathering to a back alley
stopping the preaching in the process, casting out a demon was more important

I excitedly and fearfully followed behind, wanting to get my first taste
of laying my hands to excorcise demons
But then, a girl in the crowd spoke loudly and firmly
that if any one was not righteous, he/she should not come forward
to partake in this task, lest the demon escape and find a home in the unrighteos person
(I later learnt from my elders friends, that the girl was one that had a prophetic annointing)

I checked mysel. I had indeed prayed for forgiveness in the morning,
but my little sins where getting too frequent
You never know, 'I might not be covered by the blood at that moment'

I quietly withdrew from the crowd to a safe distance
much like the those men that withdraw from stoning the adulterous woman
after Jesus had encouraged anyone without sin
to go ahead and cast the first stone

Anyway, the demon no gree commot from the guy
The elders probably all had their little sins too

The boys familly reported to the school authority
And this was the end of the school fellowship
and also the end of of my vision to preach on that particular pulpit

What amazed me, was that the elders
who had so zealosly unsurped me to be the first to preach
where not as enthusiastic to resist the principles command
despite all my entreaties that we resist it

You see, we xtian elders are quite rusty
despite the once in a while polishing

esere826:

I feel you sister Omo Alata

I guess you are already a tongue speaker, right?

Well, not exactly as I think I'm just making up the words

.....

AFTER BEING SAVED, WHAT NEXT?, WHAT REALLY IS THE GOSPEL? (Part 1)

I went to a prayer meeting in a university campus close by,
where a man of God was advertised as being in attendance
the youthfull congregation goshed over him. Daddy, daddy, they said of him
as he walked in majestically ushered in by pretty hostesses and very 'grab' hosts
now this was strange to me, remember I was of an orthodox background
here I was caught between the 'inactiveness' of protestant orthodoxy and the 'excesses' of 'pentecostalism'
ok naw, no problem

Prayers soon began, everyone soon erupted around me
this was alright with me, as I happily opened my tongue tap
Then came some strange 'message' I wasn't used to hearing

"open your mouth and pray" the pastor said
"no body can say he doesn't have any problems, pray that the holy sprit intervenes in you finances, that your enemies are taken away" e.t.c in this line

I was in a state of shock
You see, I was from a protected background, some things where strange to me
My familly's finances where ok, and winch no dey worry us. My academics where as alright as I worked it to be, and so where those of my siblings
I looked up, no nowhere in particular and said 'God, what do I say, I really do not have any problems'
I kept on pondering on this, till the end of the service

I slowly began to feel like an outcast to the christian gospel
especially as I continued to hear such message in almost any 'spiritual' gathering I attended
In one of my vacations, I actually asked my mum about this,
my mum smiled and said "son, people are going through difficulties out there"
"as you grow up you will understand"

........I still felt like an outcast

AFTER BEING SAVED, WHAT NEXT?, WHAT REALLY IS THE GOSPEL? (Part 2)

The more I attended pentecostal fellowships,
the more I felt unloved by God

Folks took to the pulpit with testimonies
Talking about how they were once fornicators or adulterous, thieves or robbers, murderers, weed and cigarette smokers e.tc, and how God forgave them
I was neither of these, I was a va-jin from a repsectable home where my mum instilled iron discipline in us
even to spy in exams then dey hard me (even before being saved).
Whereas the student xtian elders embarrasingly went about carrying chukuli into exams and asking me questions

To add peper plus salt to my sore, I actually began hearing sermons
that those who have been forgiven plenty sin by God, love God more
..Stories of the prodigal son: I was gradually begining to see myself as the sour elder brother of the prodigal son
who had been great all this while, but got nothing. Whereas, the wayward brother got a fattened calf for a home welcome party
ohhhh,.... how I wanted to be loved

The logic that i seemed to be getting was: up your sins, and you'll be special to God

following....I'm enjoying your story

Mr_Anony: following....I'm enjoying your story

Thanks

A GRADUAL UNRAVELING: FEAR, CONFUSION and TONGUES OF DEMONS

Being born again, the conversion gospel was initially simple
God loved me so much that he didnt want me to got to hell
OK

My envangelism 'anointing'/drive was also simple
Prevent people from going to hell by getting them converted
Failure to do this will mean that during judgement, i'd be held accountable
This was the message that filtered through to me from all the sythesised mesages I recieved from men
Indeed, strange messages I heard regularly from the pulpits to this effect

Money was begining to become a strong message from the pulpit
give, give, give the pastors cried
even to mere students who had no source of incomes but their parents
we would give, and we would trek
give your wristwatches some pastors would even say, give your best
give we gave, and when an uncle 'dashed' us some money,
we would happily say that it was the harvest from the giving

Well, I wasnt financially or mentally handicapped,
so sowing to reap money or good grades was not a driver for me
but when pastor talks, there is something that gets stirred in you
to do as he says, and so u just do it


I was begining to loose my confidence that I'd be escaping hell
added to this was a dry spiritual period where 'churching' is no longer exciting
(I hear other xtian folks go through this also)
Without my confidence, envagelizing wasn't so attractive anymore
afterall, pastors talked about how you could loose your salvation
whereas you got others into heaven

**These happening was in a spate of some 1 year after my conversion experience**

As a teenager, my testerohomone level was bursting at its seams
'sins' as i understood it to be then where getting more plentiful
However, my ability to still speak in tongues gave me some confidence
that God was still with me, and would save me from hell

So a little sin, a little speaking in tongues to check
and I felt alright
Up till that silly day when some student xtian elder
told me that when someone sins repeatedly
the spirit of God will depart, and that of satan would take over

Any tongue spoken after that he said
was the tongue of demons

Almost immediately, I stopped/refused to speak in tongues henceforth
It must be the demon tongue I reasoned

Ah, I was now a candidate of hell in my reasoning
Should I fight it?
confusion

Another message talked about how its God's grace
that took one away from hell
that someone can be good all the time, and go to hell
while another could be bad all the time and go to heaven

Well it seemed about time, that I gave up my hell escape aspirations
bigger and more pleasurable 'sins' were beckoning
why try to dock from them, and yet sill be unsure of my escape
whereas others could move with the flow, and have same probability as I in the afterlife

This was the begining of what in the xtian circle is known as backsliding
Like Michael Jackson, I moonwalked back into the ready arms of the world

Interesting!! More pls!

THE RAPTURE

Apart from the gospel of hell, there was an ever present awareness that Christ might be coming soon
We call it the rapture
We were to be holy when christ came for his church lest we miss the rapture

But as day turned into night, and night into day
the rapture message became weaker
he had not come
he would come some day alright
but,......well,......come to think about it,
the apostles also pondered about this some 2000 years ago

The weakening of the rapture message conspired with time, confusion and desires to cut me off from the gospel as I knew it then

The not so wilderness experience

Now that I was a certified backslider, I was free to do as I chose
I did not see myself as being led by 'the spirit' anymore
in other words, I could more easilly set aside those urges/prompts that were mainly triggered by pastors on tv or on the pulpit

I could now think more rationally
In fact, I would proudly say I began to nuture a discerning spirit

That I was a backsilder doesn't neccesarily mean I felt completely cut off from God
No, rather it meant that I refused to give in to the street preaching push from within

It also meant that when I saw a white cross in front of an aladura church
and felt a push to go over there and uproot it (thanks to all the stuff I had read and heard about the naughtiness of the church)
I could boldly say no
I mean, if there is a 50/50 chance of going to hell, I need not be in a hurry to get to the other side

Interestingly, I have also heard of such stories of foolhardiness from men of God
They seemed to recall with relish how they gave in to it and sometimes got beaten up

Such urges began to make me question what was within
was it of God? of the devil? or was it a force that worked on any physical information/thought pattern that I had?

I'm not going to bore you with what I learnt,
but there was a pointer again from within
The pointer rested on jesus coming down from the wilderness after his time with satan
It kind of connected with his action when he whipped folks out of the temple
This he never did again after that event

Great story, lets see how it ends.

@op, pls finish up..

The road less travelled

In my 'backslidden' state
I had the ability to say No to what pastors preach
although this still required a struggle

the fun part was that I was now thirsty for unrestricted information
I didn't need to feed on one pastor or church, I could move around churches
although my type was described as church prosti...ute even by pastors
This was to be expected. Not many pastors would want loose their members to other churches

So as I went around churches, watched a lot of xtian TV, read the bible for myself
I began to see things from multiple perspectives
For example, in one of the very big nigerian churches, everyone was expected to tithe even if you be babby
while in another equally big church, the pastor said that when your parents tithe, and give you your allowances
then you don't need to tithe. All you need to give is an offering
** ok,.. i c. I be think say the principle/law/tradition don dey established well well for bible **

the doctrines from church to church was sometimes so different that you could clasp your mouth in surprise
I also began to see pastors engaging in my sinful vices
ok naw
I also saw hands being laid on confirmed 19 boys, and they would 'fall under the anointing'
umhhh strange (made me rreview my concept of sin and economics)

I also began to notice (my own observation oo) that my catholic friends who later became born again where extremely 'pastor loyal'
While those of us born again but from orthodox protestant backgrounds where quite rebelious to pastors.
We were quick to point out their humanity and equallness to us
My 'born again' friends who had always been pentecostals from childhood, where ..emmmm,...emm ..just someting else

And yes, during this period, I still sowed and sowed and sowed
Sowing be like something that is unescapable ooooo
So I would either sow for miracle of the future
Or sow for thanskiging
or sow for just sowing sake
even if pastor no ask
The push to sow dey hard to resist well, well
So I deviced a method of taking limited cash to church, so that I no go sow everything finish
(I really don't know what drives this, maybe its Gods way of punishing me for not being a tither )


So much learnt in that period just by saying NO
umhhh.....Thats strange
Maybe what God wanted was Homo Sapiens, and not Homo 'yes sir'
..or he probably was not in any way bothered. maybe he looked at me the way a 6o year old man would look at a 1 year old throwing tantrums

Tearing down the Veil

It was more than a decade after my conversion experience
I had a way of asking questions about God
but not neccesarily questioning God
This had roots in my toddler xtian classess when we would ask many silly but yet intelligent questions
how was God born? does he have a father and mother? Jesus and Moses, who would win in a fight? e.t.c
and flustered the children teachers would simply retort "you can't question God"

A friend had once told me a story of a boy on the shores
trying to fill a hole that he had dug with water from the sea
and said plainly, "dude you cant get answers to all your questions"

Well curiosity is my middle name, I needed answers
Why would God ask that kids be killed in one breadth, and in the next says he loves the world?
Why did folks that wrote into the bible seem to contradict themselves? (we xtians always say na lie)

I had come to a point where I had to question God directly, not just those small questions,
but the big ones that almost challenges his existense as we know it.

I took solace in the story of Jonah
who had some argument with God over some tree shade that God was teasing around with

Trembling with the toughts of the consequences that I might face in the after life, but prepared for it
(I mean, thousand die everyday. If we go by what many xtians preach, hell is the default home for humanity. So well .....)
I approached

"God" I said, "I am tired of having hell hanging over me like the sword of damiscoles".
"i really don't care anymore if i end up in hell, but i really need answers to my questions".
"i need to be able to quarrel with you and know you better"

Chineke!!! Immediately I said this, a restraint was torn from me. I felt lighter
I suddenly understood what christ meant when he said for us to live we have to die

It was almost like I stopped being human as I knew it, and became something else
My hell fear days was gone, and I was ushered in to a new and special place where I could ask and recieve answers (not immediate answers sha)
I could say stuff that christians would consider blasphemous, but be able to praise God in the same breadth
I was no longer afraid

....now I could see God 'face to face' and play, joke, yab him as a friend (talkless of pastors)
Umh.. quite a lofty acheivement for someone that felt unloved

Receiving answers

with my new found questioning abilities, I went asking loads of questions

dad, why is it that when they lay hands on people, dem dey fall, and I no dey fall?
answer received
dad, why did Paul not see eye to eye with Peter?
answers received
dad, who gave birth to you?

I soon found out that I had to slow down in my question asking for selfish reasons
simply because when i asked a question, it seemed the question would pursue me till I get its answer
And in getting the answer, I would have to meditate a lot on the bible
I was gradually becoming a bible scholar
em, em.... so I come reduce question asking before I turn to bible guru only

Sin

With time, I was gradually introduced to another gospel
That xtians cannot sin
This was a hard one to accept ooo
But everywhere i turned, it pushed at me
It didnt and doesnt appear in anyway rational

Almost close to atheism if you ask me
because they do not have the concept of sin either

I read the bible, and noticed that even paul that introduced this concept struggled with it
This gospel had been shot down in the xtian renaisense period when it tried to rear its head
Preachers around the world that even preached it, did so with caution and with caveats

in nigeria, a pastor preached it and some of his followers accepted it, but even with a caveat
his followers seemed to be only able to hold on to this gospel because of their pastor's assurances
They therefore managed to build a temple around him to guard their 'assurance'
and by so doing unwittingly in my opinion fall back into the law, and not expose themselves to full grace

Well, I gradually accepted this gospel
and felt really strange. Really, really strange
All the building blocks of my morilty seemed to have been washed away
I was used to holding on to something, but now there was nothing to hold on to
And naughty me that I am, I do respect pastors, but feel that I am no less than any man
So here I was alone in this strange world, like my essence had been sucked out
God and I alone

Accepting this gospel made me feel unrestrained in having contact with God
no matter what i had done.
I didnt need to hide in the Garden. I could just come out naked and converse

...I was going to get into another gospel pretty soon. That of grace -Gods love towards us

Conversations with a Pastor 1

It was one of those cold afternoons and I took a walk to the park which was not far from the city, where I worked
I lit a cigarette and watched the red buses drive past
(I am not an addict, but keep a pack just in case I need to look busy)

An African sauntered forward. i could tell that he he had me in his radar
he smiled weakly, and I responded with a broader smile
He comes over and says "you're a Nigerian right?"
"Yes" I replied. He now looks more confident and straightens up

"Why are you smoking?" he asks.
I smile weakly this time. I can sense what he wants to say
his measured tone, his haircut and his gait gives him away

"I am enjoying it" I say deeming my eyes for eagle sharp intellectual precision needed for a debate
"Are you born again?" he asks.
"Umhh.. Yep, but I'd rather say I've received christ"
He looks at me. Measuring me further. "You cant be born again because you're sinning"
I smile in my trademark way "Sinning, what sin?"
"You're smoking" he says

he starts preaching to me, and I listen carefully
I then start asking him pretty deep questions
He cannot answer, but gets agitated
I smile and ask him if he his not interested in preaching to me
he keeps talking about the spirit, the spirit, the spirit
I then ask him why did God give us brains in the first place.
I mean he could have taken it away and prevented Adam from eating that fruit

I could see that he was wearing out

Converations with a pastor 2

He insists, "you're a sinner". "do you know what happens to sinners?"
i smile again and tell him "but God has called me rigtheous".
"Whose report should I believe? yours or God's?" I ask
he his confused

i remember wrong stuff i was fed as a young xtian. I feel it would be useful to purge this gentleman off religiousity
"now my friend, let me teach you one or two things about xtianity" I say
"if the blood of bulls could take away the sins of the jews for a year or thereabout, how much more the blood of jesus"
he his starring at me blankly
oops I realise that he's not read that part of the bible

the end of my break is drawing near, so I stand up making ready to leave
"How long have you been born again?" I ask
"About 4 years" he says
"You're a pastor right?"
"yes" he replies amd introduces the name of the church he pastors

I clasp his hands in a firm but warm handshake "Well, I've been coverted for more than a decade now"
"i do appreciate your preaching christ out here, i can imagine how you will be scorned"
"yes o" he says lightening up and basking in my encouragement, "thanks for listening"

I smile and let him go with one last advice
"pastor, ask God for a new and more glorious gospel. The one you have now will wear you out with time. You'll say a prayer of thanks for me on this"
I let go and hop into the next bus back to work
I watch him walking back, with his head down, contemplating what I had shared with him

More??..this is deep

O.M.E:
More??..this is deep

More Ko!! Deep Ni!!!
U no go share ya own coversion story, abi na only me be SU?

Your own dey mk sense na..

More before I start sharing mine.

Gracious10: More before I start sharing mine.

et tu Gracious10?

esere826:

et tu Gracious10?

Huh?