Please house I need ur advice.

Me and my fiance have been together for five years now. In those years, we have had a lot of obstacles and problems, but we have been able to overcome them

Now, there is a bigger problem, I got an admission to study medicine in London, my visa is ready too, I don't trust my fiance to keep faithful while I am away, cos I have always had this feeling that he is not faithful now. But, he has always sworn that since we started dating he has not seen another woman, but I wonder who is chibaby n others on his Whatsapp, I know all his cousins and relatives.

He is one who foot all the expenses of this travel, we are engaged, but all these does not keep my mind at rest, he loves me, I know, I don't understand why I don't trust him, maybe because men are d biggest liars or my emotions are deceiving me cos he is my first love.

I am just confused instead of happy I am going outside to study.

House I am asking for your opinion here, should I date another man while I am in London or should I just be faithful as I have always been. Duration of my stay in London is six to seven years, how do I cope with this feeling.

I hope this makes front page cos I need advice on it, thanks.

How old are you?

Seun shaGARRI: How old are you?

I am 24 and y did u ask?

For the fact that you ask ''should I date another'' clearly signifies that you have settled in your heart to date another guy

While you are still very much around and together now, any arrangement, do you love him deeper enough, what are your goals and plan for the future? what if the people you see on his wassup are nothing but mere friends?

What if when you get there you see someone that is more loveable and caring to you, what would you do? Bearing in mind that he still love you dearly.

My friend, if you cannot trust yourself you will find it hard to trust your partner. Have a talk with him, work things out by yourself, back it up with prayers and trust God for him and not he himself. Thats my little piece of advice

bid4rich: For the fact that you ask ''should I date another'' clearly signifies that you have settled in your heart to date another guy

While you are still very much around and together now, any arrangement, do you love him deeper enough, what are your goals and plan for the future? what if the people you see on his wassup are nothing but mere friends?

What if when you get there you see someone that is more loveable and caring to you, what would you do? Bearing in mind that he still love you dearly.

My friend, if you cannot trust yourself you will find it hard to trust your partner. Have a talk with him, work things out by yourself, back it up with prayers and trust God for him and not he himself. Thats my little piece of advice

Thanks so much

chaircover: it is unrealistic to expect either of you to wait 6 or 7 years for you to finish your degree. You may get to London and meet someone just as he may meet someone on his street. . . . but as humans we like complicating things; hence he is the one paying for your travel so that in 4 years time when you decide to marry someone else he will start complaining that he sponsored your education but you dumped him. Life isnt hard, its us humans who make it hard.

If it bothers you so much, you can decide to get married before you go but that still doesn't guarantee no cheating

To be honest, unless he decides to come and join you in the next few years It is unlikely that you are both going to be able to sustain a LDR for 7 years.

You made sense here, we have not considered that, but we have to now. I have two weeks before I leave, maybe when I discuss it with him, he may agree

do anyone have an idea if I can always come back on holiday? I don't have any idea how it will be.

You are young still young, with your life ahead of you. So let me lay down the options (no beating around the bush).

Option 1: He funds your education, while you cheat on him and he's faithful in Nigeria.
Option 2: He funds your education and both of you cheat.
Option 3: He funds your education, no one cheats, you come home at 31 or get married before then and live happily ever after. (Highly unlikely)
Option 4: One party sacrifices their dreams and pursues a different one to ensure you both stay together either here in Nigeria or over there.

Except you get a more serious commitment like marriage and a concrete (though expensive) visitation plan, a 6year LDR will be an effort in futility. Honestly I believe you are more of a risk than the guy as he has done the engagement and is ready to sponsor you yet you dont trust him and are already making provisions for cheating.

Just my opinion, DONT CRUCIFY ME.

Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.

remmyton: my daughter is very naughty, ask her to go and sleep when she does something wrong and hear her begging. well, as for my other babies, they are no trouble at all

https://www.nairaland.com/1058137/how-punish-children/1#12327767

Tell us about that!!

remmyton: please house I need ur advice.
Me and my fiancee have been together for five years now. In those years, we have had a lot of obstacles and problems, but we have been able to overcome them
Now, there is a bigger problem, I got an admission to study medicine in London, my visa is ready too, I don't trust my fiancee to keep faithful while I am away, cos I have always had this feeling that he is not faithful now. But, he has always sworn that since we started dating he has not seen another woman, but I wonder who is chibaby n others on his Whatsapp, I know all his cousins and relatives. He is one who foot all the expenses of this travel, we are engaged, but all these does not keep my mind at rest, he loves me, I know, I don't understand why I don't trust him, maybe because men are d biggest liars or my emotions are deceiving me cos he is my first love. I am just confused instead of happy I am going outside to study.
House I am asking for your opinion here, should I date another man while I am in London or should I just be faithful as I have always been. Duration of my stay in London is six to seven years, how do I cope with this feeling.
I hope this makes front page cos I need advice on it, thanks.

I was actually starting to sympathize with you, till I read the bit in blue.

From what you've posted up there, you met your fiancee at 19. You've been together for five years now and you're going to be away for another 6 or 7 years. Meaning you'll be 30 or 31 when you get back. You've also 2 weeks before you travel, meaning if you do decide to get married in that space of time (which I believe would be for all the wrong reasons), it'll be hastily put together ceremony.

What I'm going to tell you right now would be harsh but true. I think you should call off your engagement. 6 or 7 years, especially for a young girl to be celibate is an awfully long time and unrealistic too. You might think you'll be able to remain so, would like to BELIEVE you could do it, but it's highly unlikely. A time would come when you'll fall prey to temptation and you'll be guilt ridden. You'll hate yourself for it and hate him for it too.

You haven't travelled yet, and you're plagued with doubts. It'll be worse when you do travel and not knowing the truth about whether he's faithful to you or not, would make you paranoid. That won't do your relationship any good. If anything, it'll put the relationship under a lot of strain and you may not be able to focus on your studies. That would defeat the whole purpose of your coming over to study in the first place.

My suggestion to you is to free yourselves. If your fiancee is meant to be your soul mate, your life partner, the one you're destined to be with, then it'll happen when you get back. Until then, I think it's best you both sit down, have a serious and REALISTIC heart-to-heart discussion on why you should call the whole thing off.

That's my opinion anyway.

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.

Tell us about that!!

Did she now?

I hope this isn't another hoax thread?

abegi which side u go dey for jandon?
Ok jokes apart, it's highly unrealistic to ask anyone to stay put for that long considering the fact that you guys don't even have anything ties together.
I'm sure you are aware that your course is going to be very intense and one thing you don't wanna be doing is adding emotional stress to the obvious stress you going to be getting from your course.

My advice for you is to have a heart-to-heart convo with you bf and offer no promises whatsoever. Leave the relationship status as friends and see how things pan out once you settle into your new life abroad

Pursue your dream girl, there are many fishes in the river. By the time you arrive, get busy with school, work, campus life (real fun ) you go forget.

Grab the opportunity. forget lovu nwantintin biko.

with the killing of those uniport students, let nothing deter you from leaving.

Carry your fiancé along. Better that way i think.

Matters of the heart.

Why would you even want to be with someone you obviously can't trust as far as you can throw them in the first place?!!

Na wa oh!

Oh by the way, you being "around" makes no difference. . .if he wants to cheat, he would cheat even if you padlock his whachumacallit and wore the keys around your neck.

You just have to learn to grow up lady! If you think your going abroad is gonna cause you your relationship, so be it. Ask yourself this Q, do you want this guy because you have spent 5 years together or you love him for who he is? (Ask ur boo too). If you love him because you guys have spent years together, the relationship is surely gonna fail. For sure, you gonna c guys over in where u goin, and temptations gonna arise, just think before you do anything. If you wanna have fun, or u wanna have a serious relationship there. Mind you, before you could have serious boiz there, they might have collected the meter on your vagi*a. And ur boi, I guess two of u gonna c a counselor, cos, as a boi ooo, he's gonna 4ck punnies behind u, If u like it or not! Sori

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.



Tell us about that!!

NABBED... And why has she gone AWOL ever since?

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.



Tell us about that!!

chai see investigators

We no dey play here oooo

I was once a General.

This thread reeks of Naivity and Paranoia, that's if the story is not even a hoax considering a previous post by the OP which ShaGARRI highlighted.

uk is a land of opportunities and full of opportunists....
wat u giv in is wat u take...
if u zero up ya mind for a new guy...definately u will see rizons to get one....
distance relationship!!!!!!!!mydear it takes alot of strength nd energy and WISDOM to pull through...
if ya man could sponsor u..he could sponsor himself and stay close....
u are comin ova to study medicine.....u have to work while you study....i must



sae no too much flexing time in the uk ...but we achieve wat our mind concieve....dnt 4get love conquers all thing....and to crown it up PRAYER IS THE KEY....remember BEING FAITHFUL COUNTS ALOT
oo...

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.


https://www.nairaland.com/1058137/how-punish-children/1#12327767

Tell us about that!!

U are a badt guy...u had to dig out her past on NL...nyc 1...
Ppl come here and tell us lots of stories dat are not true..
Meanwyl @Topic...u seem u r looking 4 an excuse to Cheat..even b4 u go..dats d excuse most babes use to Cheat....
Meanwyl rgdz 2 ur daughter....
Cheers!

This is defintely a hoax. There is no way you will be offered admission to study medicine directly in UK as a foreigner, unless it is for post graduate work. Unless you want to tell us you are a British citizen or one with permanent stay that has spent some years residing in UK, but from your post, not knowing if there will be holidays, it is obvious you have little knowledge about what you are talking about.

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.


https://www.nairaland.com/1058137/how-punish-children/1#12327767

Tell us about that!!

I don't normally do this but now you leave me with no choice, 'You sure are one son-of-an-unnaughtywoman' let Seun remix that. Really, I wouldn't mind if you joined me at the dinning. The story is a hoax and I stil don't understand what anybody stands to gain by posting hoaxes (erm, is there a word like that by the way ?).
There is only one feasible reason though, Sseun planted this stories himself to generate more traffic.
How sad but true. Gen. Shagari please look deeply into this line of investigation. It looks really promising.
I might not be able to post for a while cos I expect a mod to ban me and maybe possibly hide this post too.
That doesn't deter me though, I'll stand for the truth always God bless nigeria and may he also touch sseun's heart to stop this undignifying practice. It's boring already.

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.


https://www.nairaland.com/1058137/how-punish-children/1#12327767

Tell us about that!!

Another Hoax thread. It's becoming rampant now on NL, various lies cooked up and spewed for the gullible masses. I begin to wonder has the unemployment rate in Nigeria increased to 70%.

Nice one pal.

Seun shaGARRI: Meanwhile somewhere else on Nairaland, you mentioned something about 'a daughter'.


https://www.nairaland.com/1058137/how-punish-children/1#12327767

Tell us about that!!

OBOY U CATCH HER RED HANDED. MEAN GUYS DE HERE O, SEUN GARRI DON BLOW YOUR NYASH OPEN.

Can someone not have a daughter and still get admission to study abroad?

OP, I suggest you discuss with your man and come to an agreement, either to remain faithful or go your own ways.

Being unfaithful is not the answer.

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/08/a-reader-responds-who-says-infidelity-is-bad.html

[quote author=remmyton]do anyone have an idea if I can always come back on holiday? I don't have any idea how it will be.[/quote. Oh yeah,r u on student visa?

Aye OP! Sorry to burst yhur bubble, but this a HOAX and Yhu've been found out!