Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks

I'm not frm Anambra so i am not familiar with their culture. But i think u shod address them simply as inlaws instead of having to cal a gal u r older than 'aunty'. U need to also make ur husband see the need why his younger siblings shod have respect for u. Just my 2 cents

I think calling them sister and brother is the ok as long as they also reciprocate the greetings and not calling u by name. Tel your husband about it and how youre feeling and see what he says. Regardless of anything, you shouldn't be forced to do anything you're not comfortable with

gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this. I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out. My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones AUNTYs and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land. Please what do I do. Am really downfounded. I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.thanks

You are what??
No vex. Just permit me to laff.
@topic: you have been keeping malice for three days with your husband? thats serious. How have you been coping not being on speaking terms with a man you love and wife? Not fair!
@topic: are the sisters married? Call them by their children's name.
Do you know there nick names? Call them by that. Anambra people always have an honorary name - afa otu tu, use it. That way you wont be belittling yourself by callin them 'Aunty'.
And for the greeting, nne, please give it freely. Its of no use inside your mouth. Use it

Poster's written English has left me combobulated and utterly "downfounded". How can you, in 5 lines, do so much damage to grammar?

You mentioned that you gave his siter 3 years. I honestly hope this singular act of generosity by you will not go unnoticed and unrewarded. Make sure you remind your husband every night before sleeping of your magnanimous gesture towards her sister.

jigwe101: I think calling them sister and brother is the ok as long as they also reciprocate the greetings and not calling u by name. Tel your husband about it and how youre feeling and see what he says. Regardless of anything, you shouldn't be forced to do anything you're not comfortable with

Very good advice.

Frankly to me it feels like ur inlaws think they've done u a BIG favour by allowing their brother to marry u.

It is inappropriate to call someone you are older than Aunty. You can call them' Nne'e.g nne kekwanu.

violent: Poster's written English has left me combobulated and utterly "downfounded". How can you, in 5 lines, do so much damage to grammar?

You mentioned that you gave his siter 3 years. I honestly hope this singular act of generosity by you will not go unnoticed and unrewarded. Make sure you remind your husband every night before sleeping of your magnanimous gesture towards her sister.

Crazy you!

Why do Nigerian women worry about INCONSEQUENTIAL ISSUES?
For one, you have a husband, that should ELIMINATE 99.9999% of your worries.
Call her mummy, Aunty, uncle, whatever, who the HECK CARES!!!

Stella_Bella: Why do Nigerian women worry about INCONSEQUENTIAL ISSUES?
For one, you have a husband, that should ELIMINATE 99.9999% of your worries.
Call her mummy, Aunty, uncle, whatever, who the HECK CARES!!!

So because she's married she should sell her pride just to preserve her 'Mrs' Status

na wah!

I find it very insulting that your husband will expect you to call his sister (who is younger that you are) 'Aunty'! It's very wrong and belittling. DONT DO IT. Let heaven fall down.

What will it be next? Wash her clotes, cook and serve her e.t.c.

Abeg they should go to hell jor.

I'm from Anambra State and I don't call my husband's sister (Who's 3 years older than I am) 'Aunty'! What nonsense?

Rooneyboy:

Very good advice.

Frankly to me it feels like ur inlaws think they've done u a BIG favour by allowing their brother to marry u.

Utter and complete bullsh1t!

@Op I'm from anambra and a sis in law of mine is from okija and I've never heard of such! She does not refer to any of us as Aunty.

In the village tho my uncles wives used to form kneeling down to greet me n my sisters but it was just "forming" cos they were in d village. Its a sign of respect cos they were married into the family. That is core Igbo culture.

If ur not comfortable with it don't start wat you can't finish!!! Biko!

Furthermore, its not worth fighting wit ur hubby over this. If that's what he want u have to explain in ALL humility y u can't do it so that he does not feel slighted. Perhaps other wives have been conforming wit this culture, so he will feel y shld u b different. Ur job is to let him know ur too cosmopolitan to be calling someone younger than u aunty. Greeting in the morning aint such a big deal tho.

Seriously,what will it take from you?
Its not like you have to see and greet your in-law everyday...is it?
It is a traditional thing in my place too.A wife has to put that word before the name of any in-law that she meets at home no matter how young that in-law is.It is not usually enforced but the wise ones do it to stay off family trouble.
You are the one who has chosen to be a part of their family and seeing as what they request of you is unthreatening,i don't see the issue.
Do the "aunty lagbaja" when you have to,go your way and have peace.
Do not let such an inconsequential matter create problem in your home like its already starting to.
Goodluck!!

Why should you call someone you are older than .."Aunty"?

Our help once called me Aunty and my mum warned her against it. Are you marrying Into a family or going into slavery?

I don't understand

Jeez. At 29 you should know your place in ur own home. Ur husbands siblings should be the one calling you Aunty and greeting u. Even if they are older. Don't allow yourself to be stepped on.

uboma: I'm not frm Anambra so i am not familiar with their culture. But i think u shod address them simply as inlaws instead of having to cal a gal u r older than 'aunty'. U need to also make ur husband see the need why his younger siblings shod have respect for u. Just my 2 cents

i am from okija and i can tell you that there is no such law that states so.they arre using such aganist you becos they assume since u dont know the culture you should give in to such rubbish.me personally,i call my inlaws by their names or i just call them inlaw and thes people are like 5-8 years older than me.if you dont like it,dont do it

if you are ready to leave peacefully with him,just comply without hesitation.

call them whatever they like, allow peace to reign in your home than allow outsiders to come between you and your love, moreover by calling them aunty or uncle does not mean that you respect them

uboma: I'm not frm Anambra so i am not familiar with their culture. But i think u shod address them simply as inlaws instead of having to cal a gal u r older than 'aunty'. U need to also make ur husband see the need why his younger siblings shod have respect for u. Just my 2 cents

i am from okija and i can tell you that there is no such law that states so.they are using such aganist you becos they assume since u dont know the culture you should give in to such rubbish.me personally,i call my inlaws by their names or i just call them inlaw and these people are like 5-8 years older than me.if you dont like it,dont do it

How can that be Okija culture. is "Aunty" an Igbo word? Aunty is an English word and it's used to describe your Father or Mother's sister. Though it's also used as a sign of respect for someone who's older than you. So, none of this justifies you calling them aunty. Instead they should be the one calling you aunty because you're their brother's wife and you are automatically on the same pedestal as their brother. So, they should accord you the same respect that they give their brother. I also find it strange that your husband will even suggest that you call them aunty. Very soon he will say you should call his nieces "Aunty".

It's now left got you to decide whether or not you will go through with calling them such. If you can't do that for the life of you, then talk to your husband until he sees reason and if he doesn't, just divorce him. That's if you think it's worth divorcing over.

jennykadry: Why should you call someone you are older than .."Aunty"?

Our help once called me Aunty and my mum warned her against it. Are you marrying Into a family or going into slavery?

I don't understand

I thought this is prominent among Yorubas, well age is never a barrier to love, cultural believe and norms.When you inherit a property you also inherit its responsibilities as well, so I will advice you play along to save your marriage.

violent: Poster's written English has left me combobulated and utterly "downfounded". How can you, in 5 lines, do so much damage to grammar?

You mentioned that you gave his siter 3 years. I honestly hope this singular act of generosity by you will not go unnoticed and unrewarded. Make sure you remind your husband every night before sleeping of your magnanimous gesture towards her sister.

ITK WHAT IS SITER??

Custom turns into law.this is not peculia to his side alone,its praticise in Yoruba land too.any chiild not given birth to in your presence must be addressed as "aunty or uncle before their name. Its a way to avoid friction kind of btw the wife,and the siblings.its applicable provided they also use aunty before your name.

You can't call your junior 'aunty' its not done
I'll advice you not to raise the issue with your husband yet just call her name's like 'my-inlaw', 'my sister' or all those funny igbo slangs for fine girls... If she seems offended by such, then you know there's something more to it. Btw he married you as a 'wife' not some slave.

gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks

walahi if u call dem aunty u be mumu....no allow love rob u of ur sense o....aunty kor...mummy ni...you go call person wey u old pass aunty

jigwe101: I think calling them sister and brother is the ok as long as they also reciprocate the greetings and not calling u by name. Tel your husband about it and how youre feeling and see what he says. Regardless of anything, you shouldn't be forced to do anything you're not comfortable with

Seconded

Its a MUST for you, and morever respecting him/her does not cause u any harm. If u are already married then dont let issue of " broda & sista" destroy ur happily home. RESPECT IS RECIPROCAL

Do you want to start something that you cannot finish? If you start, you don start o. You are not comfortable with this "Auntie" thing, so why hide your feelings. If you let them know from the onset that you wont be calling your junior auntie, they will come to respect you for that, even if they will not like it at first. BE YOURSELF, and it will be easier for you. If not, how long do you intend to keep up with this thing that is surely making you unhappy. And come to think of it, you are married to your husband not his younger sister.

kan sumbody pls tel me wat is wrng in kalin sum1 anty or uncle?common is d uncle or anty goin 2 pay ur bills or kan it withdraw money 4rm d atm machine?i c nuthin wrng in kalin sum1 anty or uncle after all it is not goin 2 remove anything 4rm u or reduce ur size.u beta save ur marriage and 4get abt dis issue or u lose ur hurband 2 all dis desperate ladies

gunners160: kan sumbody pls tel me wat is wrng in kalin sum1 anty or uncle?common is d uncle or anty goin 2 pay ur bills or kan it withdraw money 4rm d atm machine?i c nuthin wrng in kalin sum1 anty or uncle after all it is not goin 2 remove anything 4rm u or reduce ur size.u beta save ur marriage and 4get abt dis issue or u lose ur hurband 2 all dis desperate ladies

Talk is cheap free.

I am from the East but this sounds strange to me. Though I understand that Okija is notorious with diabolical practices and I think, it is not right for you to call someone you are older than, aunty or whatever they have asked you to be doing.That sounds ridiculous and I think your husband should be reasonable enough to know the right thing as this sounds like occult practice to me.

Also, one should be careful before entering into marriage with some kind of people in life. Ask questions first and understand the culture of the people you are entering into marriage with because the taste of friendship is not the taste of marriage Ladies,take note.