I have a suitor that just left for America some few weeks back, though when he was in the country we were not always together 'because of distance.

The problem is that I have been going out with a married guy who happens to be more caring and romantic than my guy. I am confused, having tried leaving the married one, but just can’t stop seeing him.I feel bad whenever i think deep about this affair. This my first time of having an affair with a married man.

Why can't you have an affair with an unmarried man? Why must it be a married man?

Odichi,

I understand what you are going through and believe that you are old enough to get married.The only difference in going out with a married man is that he will not marry you.However fun is fun , weather with a married or unmarried man.

My candide advice is that if your single guy has not proposed to you before leaving the country or done some kind of intruduction, the chances of him marrying you is very remote.You can go further to keep mailing him and make him propose to you.If he is not giving you any positive light, continue having your fun with the married man, but dont be over possesive not to destroy another woman's marriage.At this same time pray hard for another ready to settle down come single guy to come your way.

Once you are in love with another single guy, gradually withdraw from the married man for better consentration ,your further and better life ahead.

You can call me on 08035844615 for more talk.

Odichi:

I have a suitor that just left for America some few weeks back, though when he was in the country we were not always together 'because of distance.

The problem is that I have been going out with a married guy who happens to be more caring and romantic than my guy. I am confused, having tried leaving the married one, but just can’t stop seeing him.I feel bad whenever i think deep about this affair. This my first time of having an affair with a married man.

By virtue of the fact that this married man has decided to make himself a "communual property", I see nothing wrong in what you are doing. There is a reason why you cannot leave the married man.  It centers on convenience and security.

You should make you decisions carefully.  Hanging with some married men is better than "sponsoring" a single guy in some cases.  In Nigeria, that is the reason why some women would prefer to be wives #6-#40.  I can't say I blame them.  If I were single, I definitely would weigh my options in this your situation.  Some married men are just too cute.   Don't get me wrong--being married, my cute husband attracts all kinds of attention.  Am I bothered?  No--I never feel threatened by any other female.  Because what is yours is yours.  If he ends up in the laps of another, fine too!   You cannot force what is not yours.

An American suitor?  Separated by distance?  My dear, please make up your mind what you want and live with the consequences ok?  That is what being a big girl is all about.  So, this is your first time of shagging a married man eh?

Don't worry sis. It gets better!

Seun:

Why can't you have an affair with an unmarried man? Why must it be a married man?

it is not like these things are planned or predictable. Sometimes u find ursef in circumstances like this and best part is how u deal or handle it.

@poster,
It is hard especially when u have a very strong feeling for someone who happens to be married. You gotta know behind your head that he belongs to someone else and u don't want him to leave his wife. Put ursef in the wife's shoes. . . Karma is a bitch and "what goes around must definately come around". You don't want someone doing the same to u when u get married. Besides, what is wrong is wrong . . between man and God!

secondly, as for the guy abroad, I for one don't support long distance relationships. . .on the otherhand, some people have a way of making it work.My advise will be that u keep your options open, make friends and mingle with other guys and see where this leads u.(i didn’t say date them oh). It helps not to put all your eggs in one basket.

Most importantly, leave the married guy alone. its hard but once u put your mind to it, u can do it.

U know d right thing to do. Do it.

A married man? what's d catch?

the way some pple talk atimes makes me wonder, aw can one possibly advice a fellow sister to keep seeing a married man, knowing quite alright there is no future there.

@poster, u can make do without the married man if u set ur mind to it. Dont u get it he is only using you as a sex tool. Aw will u feel if another lady is in a relationship with ur husband.

@Poster,
Like I have always said,no one chooses who to love.It just happens.As long as you understand the type of relationship you are in,then that is fine.There is no formula to happinness and we are not all created alike and we must not all do the same things.

Think hard and if a single guy comes along please do not hesitate to go along.

See responses from women, na wah oh no wonder old man say never trust a woman.

@ poster keep on doing it you hear, security, cut, convenience, what is your own? call it anything, one day someone will sleep with ur husband if u ever decide to get married.

Continue, when plenty bobo's (moi included) dey there, u are hanging to a married man, one thing i fear is the prayer of a wailing mother or wife, continue the wife at home is presenting your case to God, pray she doesnt know her God.!

when u r emotionally attached to someone as u r to this married man, u will not be able to consider any other person. so u have to ask urself what u really want. and don't think this relationship is a bit of harmless fun, moreso it's ur first time, so u r enjoying the novelty of it. u do need to sit urself down and ask some hard questions. at the end of the day, the decision lies with u.
all in all, i commend ur honesty in coming out with this.

@ Poster. What goes around comes around. Remember that when you are about to marry the love of your life. If this 'married' man cannot honour the vows he made before the Almighty Lord, atleast, you should honour yourself.

I dont agree with it at all. He will chuck you back to where he picked you when he finishes having his fun, and wonder back to his poor wife! This poor unsuspecting wife may be you one day.

Honour your self my dear.

Since nobody wan tok am, I go tok am. U are an ashawo, simple and short. You know u aint getting anything from ur relationship with the married man but his dough. So dont come here and front. I pity the dude who's willing to sponsor u. U'd sell out to another married man in the future. Keep doing what u are doing, when u decide to settle down, dont be mad at ur hubby if he decides to do a lil somethin' on the side.

blueband:

@Poster,
Like I have always said,no one chooses who to love.It just happens.As long as you understand the type of relationship you are in,then that is fine.There is no formula to happinness and we are not all created alike and we must not all do the same things.

Think hard and if a single guy comes along please do not hesitate to go along.

That one na lie, how come nobody ever happens to fall in love with the mad woman under oshodi bridge.

She said she is having an affair = the guy is buying her things and they probably have good sex, that does not equal LOVE.

@Poster, just carry on, stolen bread is sweet, pray the woman does not catch you with acid in her hand

Yes and also remember you reap what you sow.

Once you have sorted that in your head just carry on.

When my wife was in Nigeria, I trusted her that she would do the right thing. If she had erred, I would have expected her friends to set her straight. Let your conscience be your judge. You know it is wrong, so do the right thing like some have expressed in this forum.

u no its wrong nd ders no probability dat he'll marry u even if he does he may do d same thing 2 u wit som1 else,so jst 4get bout him cs he's jst avin fun while u'll continue 2 remain single if u dnt move on nd discuss wit dat guy abroad if he's nt ready 4 a commitment u had better start searchin 4 a suitable man cs time waits 4 no one.

i couldn't imagine myself doing to have affair with a married man eewwwkkk!!! I am so glad that i stick with my celibate for a short while until guy finds me interesting that one day will blossom into relationship---who knows!.

Leave a married man ALONE, forget about long distance Nigerian abroad, and go find someone unmarried one!!!

The unmarried ones are even worse!!!!

@Poster
Married man?
Do you go to church or mosque? what will your pastor or imam tell you about this?
can you tell your mother what ure doing?

Ok, wait till the wife gets to hear and she pays some thugs to deal you some deadly blows and also some nice matchete cuts, by then, you will understand this life isnt for cretins like you.
I wish the wife can come to me for advice and ill surely know how to handle a BITCH like you.

I dont think the unmarried ones are finished on the streets. . .if its money ure looking for, you can get them plenty from the unmarried ones. Just open ur legs wide and those young chaps will spoil u silly.
Stupid girl

Thank you for your responses.I really have gotten some advice from each comment i read.

Sad but true, even if it is real Love:

In the end everybody will loose, what a pity!!!

Married Man?
People can't seize to amaze me!!!!!!!!!!!
Almond Joy u don start, I am yet to understand u.

i know you did not set out to date this married guy it just happened. From experience what i have learnt is this, the more you try to run away from something especially, feelings for someone, the more you fall for that person. Havent you heard of cases where girls say i will never date this guy or that man and they end up marrying that person. My advice to you is go with the flow, you know what you want obviously, things will fall into place. If the guy abroad is yours to keep it shall be so.

@ Poster,

I know that it is greed and the quest for material things that made you hook up with a married man.

The guy will use you, lick up all you juice and dump you in the end, I only pity the poor guy who will marry a refurbished wife like you.

@almondjoy, i'm not surprised, you seems to be of the same stuff.

Where I work, girls dated married men fine, and to say some of them fine pass some lying bitch on this forum. Truth is, some home truth without pretending came from some female in this thread, and I hope that will suffice. I hate some people that hide under the guise of internet to pretend as if they are saint and to me, they are 100 per cent opposite. Truth is, if they know the married man you are dating, who is taking good care of you, they will surely snatch him from you.

@'aysometin  

Almond Joy u don start, I am yet to understand u.

almondjoy is a class act and a wind up merchant per excellence. she is fun to read.  she makes you laugh. i think she travels lightly which is very good for a healthy living.

just leave this cheat and look for your own man. it is like we replaced polygammy with  this kind of dangerous living. hope you know there is HIV/ AIDS and that your heart is wearing and tearing away with all this buy one get one free  & buy now pay later relationships.

is the joy and whatever you are getting now worth the prize you end up paying?  hope you find the strenght to leave him

Where I work, girls dated married men fine, and to say some of them fine pass some lying bitch on this forum. Truth is, some home truth without pretending came from some female in this thread, and I hope that will suffice. I hate some people that hide under the guise of internet to pretend as if they are saint and to me, they are 100 per cent opposite. Truth is, if they know the married man you are dating, who is taking good care of you, they will surely snatch him from you

Whats ur message? send another one that will convey what u tried to say cos this is ZERO.

wow! married men, dem sabi f**k wellwell.
the man in question must b having the greatest time of his life, and u d greatest fantasy in ur life, but remember he is married and u are not. when he gets back to his senses, he will run back 2 his wife and u are back 2 square 1. the longer ur fantasies last, the older u get. Remember oldschool no dey go market again o!

u should post a better topic on nairaland like: "HELP, i need a guy 2 marry me" , "HELP, i need a single sugar daddy who will end up marrying me"

to crown it all, waht goes around comes around. when u finally get married, another woman will definatly screw ur hubby behind u.

tkb417:


Whats your message? send another one that will convey what u tried to say because this is ZERO.

Half words is enough for the wise, i guess you are wise, you can read between the lines as long as you are not the pretending type.

Half words is enough for the wise, i guess you are wise, you can read between the lines as long as you are not the pretending type.

duh,

alextayo:

@ Poster,

I know that it is greed and the quest for material things that made you hook up with a married man.

The guy will use you, lick up all you juice and dump you in the end, I only pity the poor guy who will marry a refurbished wife like you.

@almondjoy, i'm not surprised, you seems to be of the same stuff.

hmmmmmmmmmmm!  Lerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrit be!

joshjosh:

@'aysometin 
almondjoy is a class act and a wind up merchant per excellence. she is fun to read.  she makes you laugh. i think she travels lightly which is very good for a healthy living.

just leave this cheat and look for your own man. it is like we replaced polygammy with  this kind of dangerous living. hope you know there is HIV/ AIDS and that your heart is wearing and tearing away with all this buy one get one free  & buy now pay later relationships.

is the joy and whatever you are getting now worth the prize you end up paying?  hope you find the strenght to leave him

Thank you for the compliment jare! Some people on this Nairaland will preach to the choir and do worse behind closed doors.  Others like me will just make a lot of noise and remain virgins for the rest of our lives! The great Irony of life.  I say we shall all meet on judgement day and we shall see who will really experience "the rapture"!

nedsly:

wow! married men, them sabi f**k wellwell.
the man in question must b having the greatest time of his life, and u d greatest fantasy in your life, but remember he is married and u are not. when he gets back to his senses, he will run back 2 his wife and u are back 2 square 1. the longer your fantasies last, the older u get. Remember oldschool no dey go market again o!

u should post a better topic on nairaland like: "HELP, i need a guy 2 marry me" , "HELP, i need a single sugar daddy who will end up marrying me"

to crown it all, waht goes around comes around. when u finally get married, another woman will definatly screw your hubby behind u.

What is all this grammar here?  I say any man that allow himself to venture out of his matrimonial home is communual property.

Abeg leave the poster alone jare.  The fact that he is a married man is even worse!  Na im God go punish pass for violating his vows.  Did Odichi take any vows?    Let what goes around come around--all na recycling business.

Odichi baby!  Please go ahead and fire on jare!  Rock that baby till his dicky collapse or snaps into two for im wife that does not know how to keep her wandering man in check!   Have no mercy on him--for using you as a concubine till the time is up.  Render him impotent for his wife!  As for that American dude, forget that side.  You do not look like you are interested in him anyway!  I do not blame you.  If you wan chop frog, make you eat juicy one abeg my dear--with lots of fatty tissue!

heaven sure holds all the secret that only time will tell.  God help us. Jesus said the pharisee will get there before some people we think has a first class ticket there

The great Irony of life.  I say we shall all meet on judgement day and we shall see who will really experience "the rapture"

there is sure a judgement day coming when all things will be exposed

you remind of that great hymn

and o weeping and wailing
when the lost where told of their fate
they cried for their Lord and their master
but their cries were too late.

hear the incredible  lillian lloyd sing " one more chance"  <object width="425" height="373"><param name="movie" value="
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