@ m.k.o2005, Why do you think you need to convince anybody that it is necessary to court or not? Haven't you heard the saying different strokes for different folks? Are you Ojigbani or him brother/manager? mtcheeewww

m.k.o2005:

Since courtship means a whole lot of things ur def and mine inclusive. Now pls let's start with Why do we court before MARRIAGE ?

@mko I believe firmly that there is no hard and fast rule about getting married. Irrespective of how one decide to go about finding his or her life partner, I believe that the element of desperation should not be part of it. Courtship for me I believe is necessary because not everyone is as he or she seems. The world we live in is a dangerous place and we need to exercise some form of discretion in choosing a life partner. I know that it is still possible to make a mistake after taking the much needed precaution but the risk of making the mistake is mitigated when we thread with caution. I believe that before one should get married, it is important to get to know the man or woman and the families too. This takes time. The example a fellow nairalander gave of someone who got married under an hour is a bit too much cause I wonder how the marriage was organized and if the families and/or friends were involved.

For the records, the issue of no courtship before marriage is a Jewish tradition called "Shadchan" in Judaism. That may be the reason why there may be no record of courtship dated BC in the bible. Christianity is based on the belief in Jesus Christ and not Jewish laws that governed the way God was worshipped BC. So match making/no courtship is essentially a practice of Judaism and not christianity. My opinion

dozymars:

Okay Mr M.K.O I think you need to know what courtship is. from the dictionary Courtship is traditionally the wooing of a female by a male, includes activities such as dating (dinner and a movie, a picnic, or general "hanging out", along with other forms of activity, such as meeting online (also known as virtual dating), chatting on-line, sending text messages or picture messages, conversing over the phone, writing each other letters, and sending each other flowers, songs, and gifts. Courting usually involves getting to know the family (especially the parents) of the one you are courting. Most of the time courting will be done somewhere public, to lower the chances of anything going on between the couple. Some couples who court do not even kiss until marriage.

In my opinion courtship is like friendship, a committed friendship to a particular person. So is there anything wrong with friendship? NO.
Except you think courtship is all about having sex before marriage, then you are wrong.
Courtship is an english word for such frienship, you get to meet the family or parents of both families during this time.
So will you marry a girl without meeting her family?

You said in ur opinion, if we don't get the general knowledge(Wikipedia and dictionary )of courtship,we won't do well on this subject. Getting to know the parents of ur would be life partner isn't courtship ESPECIALLY in the context it's bin used by all in the world at large.
I want to take us on a lecture but we must first establish a fact before we move on. And the fact is what is courtship ? Not ur opinion or waht u think but dictionary meaning PLS.

When a pastor preaches on a rotating pulpit...shyte comes out!

That pst is misleading and a xteristic of a jewish hypocrites. As for me and my generation na courtship tinz o! Waiter a bottle of chilled harp pls!

Well datz his opinion, but a wrong opinion 4 a pastor! Courting or not is a decision left 2 d couple!

Shaggyfreshfish: That pst is misleading and a xteristic of a jewish hypocrites. As for me and my generation na courtship tinz o! Waiter a bottle of chilled harp pls!

What has been Jewish got to do with someone expressing his or her beliefs. The pastor did not force anyone to follow his/her teachings. The people who are there went there of their own free will. Everyone has a right to express his or her fundamental human right to speak just as you are exercising yours but in doing that try not to offend someone else.

Absolutely wrong, seriously delusional he is. If he lost his long term relationship to a better man and his arranged marriage worked doesn't mean it applies for everyone.

Another Pastor again?! Na wa o!

is he saying dt whn we meet a guy,we cn get engaged in a week and get married one month after? cos dt wld really not be walking in wisdom as the Bible admonishes

m.k.o2005:

You said in ur opinion, if we don't get the general knowledge(Wikipedia and dictionary )of courtship,we won't do well on this subject. Getting to know the parents of ur would be life partner isn't courtship ESPECIALLY in the context it's bin used by all in the world at large.
I want to take us on a lecture but we must first establish a fact before we move on. And the fact is what is courtship ? Not ur opinion or waht u think but dictionary meaning PLS.

Mate you hav been going on and on about the meaning of courtship even with all d links given to you, so plz tell us d meaning of courtship so we learn.

striktlymi:

@mko I believe firmly that there is no hard and fast rule about getting married. Irrespective of how one decide to go about finding his or her life partner, I believe that the element of desperation should not be part of it. Courtship for me I believe is necessary because not everyone is as he or she seems. The world we live in is a dangerous place and we need to exercise some form of discretion in choosing a life partner. I know that it is still possible to make a mistake after taking the much needed precaution but the risk of making the mistake is mitigated when we thread with caution. I believe that before one should get married, it is important to get to know the man or woman and the families too. This takes time. The example a fellow nairalander gave of someone who got married under an hour is a bit too much cause I wonder how the marriage was organized and if the families and/or friends were involved.

My friend,i am much relaxed now with u. Becos we have come to a common ground. Now from ur post,we dnt want to make mistake ! So we need to study to ensure mistake is drastically reduced right ? So we COURT to study so as to know what we are 'buying ' to an extent. So i can now define courtship to be a period we get to study each other to know if things will work . Now bro.This is what Chris is saying and what other men of God aren't telling us:
That the world is full of deceit.
That people change per time per time.
That when we court and eventually get married,that it in most cases leads to dissapointment.
That courtship brings about the saying:After using me,u want to dump me.
That courtship most ultimately lead to sex before marriage(I know most people may not agree here on NL)
That courtship means u do not have trust in God but in what u can do on ur own.
That courtship leads to heart break.
That courtship leads to betrayal.
That it is not biblical
That courtship delays marriage
That no matter how long u court someone,You will not get to know that person
Courtship leads to marrying someone out of pity
And so many other things that i will put forward here by 2morow cos i have to round up with what am doing in the office.

Thanks bro. Will be back on this morow.

amaikama:
u think its bull shit!!!.... pls tell me,Adam and Eve,what sort of courtship did they entered into before they got married and even at that,what happened at the end? if God can be in the center of the marriage and still have storms,wat of the ones He is not in the center?

Sorry but my knowledge of holy scripture is a bit rusty. Can you please give me the bible passage where it is said that Adam and Eve got married? A quote will be highly appreciated.

Mr.Mko...Allow me to ask u two questions: are you married or still single;
If you agree that you are married, did you shun courtship?
And if ya still single, oh well, best of luck!(We all need that)

m.k.o2005:

My friend,i am much relaxed now with u. Becos we have come to a common ground. Now from ur post,we dnt want to make mistake ! So we need to study to ensure mistake is drastically reduced right ? So we COURT to study so as to know what we are 'buying ' to an extent. So i can now define courtship to be a period we get to study each other to know if things will work . Now bro.This is what Chris is saying and what other men of God aren't telling us:
That the world is full of deceit.
That people change per time per time.
That when we court and eventually get married,that it in most cases leads to dissapointment.
That courtship brings about the saying:After using me,u want to dump me.
That courtship most ultimately lead to sex before marriage(I know most people may not agree here on NL)
That courtship means u do not have trust in God but in what u can do on ur own.
That courtship leads to heart break.
That courtship leads to betrayal.
That it is not biblical
That courtship delays marriage
That no matter how long u court someone,You will not get to know that person
Courtship leads to marrying someone out of pity
And so many other things that i will put forward here by 2morow cos i have to round up with what am doing in the office.

Thanks bro. Will be back on this morow.

Good lord . This kind of mentality belongs to the stone ages. So people who courted before marriage are doomed abi? and what do you mean about courtship means you dont trust in God. In another scenerio if you are hungry will you wait for God to cook for you to proove your faith in him? Oh I forgot that God sent manna down from heaven for the Isrealites . These doctrines are a load of crap. Stop decieving yourself

i think courtship is necessary.

it is not about knowing the person completely but knowing that u cn live with his or her flaws.

D bible has said it all my people perish for lack of knowlede ,one pastor comes up and preaches according to d way he thinks and everyone is shouting ...AMEN !!! .common sense dictates u court ! A brother once said dat God said I was his wife , can u imagine ? I told him other brothers said d same thing ,lol . Everyone wud have married their first love na abi ? . My friends, u all shud be reasonable ,esp if u are educated,den u shudnt be gullible ,least u'd suffer alone wen dat time comes .d

m.k.o2005:

My friend,i am much relaxed now with u. Becos we have come to a common ground. Now from ur post,we dnt want to make mistake ! So we need to study to ensure mistake is drastically reduced right ? So we COURT to study so as to know what we are 'buying ' to an extent. So i can now define courtship to be a period we get to study each other to know if things will work . Now bro.This is what Chris is saying and what other men of God aren't telling us:
That the world is full of deceit.
That people change per time per time.
That when we court and eventually get married,that it in most cases leads to dissapointment.
That courtship brings about the saying:After using me,u want to dump me.
That courtship most ultimately lead to sex before marriage(I know most people may not agree here on NL)
That courtship means u do not have trust in God but in what u can do on ur own.
That courtship leads to heart break.
That courtship leads to betrayal.
That it is not biblical
That courtship delays marriage
That no matter how long u court someone,You will not get to know that person
Courtship leads to marrying someone out of pity
And so many other things that i will put forward here by 2morow cos i have to round up with what am doing in the office.

Thanks bro. Will be back on this morow.

Guy I really would love to agree with you on this but common sense would not permit me cause really what you have itemized really do not support sentiments for not courting. If you think that courting will lead to some of the things you have highlighted, don't you think that worse things would happen if there is no courtship? If you meet a lady on the way and tell her you want to marry her, won't you be surprised and a bit skeptical if she says 'yes'?

Some people are of the opinion that holy scripture is against courtship but this is not stated explicitly in the bible. Remember that when Joseph wanted to marry Mary, the families of both parties agreed to the union and when Joseph found out that she was with child, he wanted to let her go in-formerly. Doesn't this show that Joseph actually courted her and found out about the pregnancy?

Also remember that courtship is also meant for the people involved to get to know whether they are medically compatible. I have seen families suffer because their genotype was not a match. This has impacted negatively on the family life. Not courting to find out whether you guys are compatible would mean selfishness and not a care for your children. And in these days of HIV/AIDS, if you decide to marry someone under an hour, how would you know if the person is not HIV positive?

I believe the positive aspect of courting far outweighs the negative. Safe journey home thou.

Look!!! me i no like long story oo, i beg who wan marry who for this one now? if you say courtship na waste of time next time you see a lady you like bundle her go meet you male and pale make them gree you sharp sharp and if na guy wey you like just follow am go house abi if them tell you say make you put hand inside fire, just check if your brain are still intact and then put your hand...mtchewww..I beg NEXT

He is entitle to his opinion but i beg to disagree wit him. Courtship is idea cos you just can't like a lady today and the following day its straight to the altar. No matter the pretenses of either party during the courtship , if truelly God is the Foundation of that Courtship such pretenses will definately surface and be found out. I therefore believe in Courtship so far it is pure and solely based on God's Manuscript.

Islamic view

Answer: "Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden.

Why?

The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.
How do potential spouses meet?

First of all, Muslim youth develop very close friendships with their same-sex peers. This "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" that develops when they are young continues throughout their lives, and serves as a network to become familiar with other families. When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place:
The young person makes du'a for Allah to help him or her find the right person.
The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates from among the network of people that they know. They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting.
If the young couple and their families agree, the couple meets in a chaperoned, group environment. Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)." The Prophet also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them." When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...." Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.
If the couple seems compatible, the families may investigate further - talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about the character of the potential spouse.
Before making a final decision, the couple prays salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help and guidance.
The couple agrees to pursue marriage or part ways. Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want.
This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove successful in the long-term.

lekibraky: Islamic view

Answer: "Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden.

Why?

The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.
How do potential spouses meet?

First of all, Muslim youth develop very close friendships with their same-sex peers. This "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" that develops when they are young continues throughout their lives, and serves as a network to become familiar with other families. When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place:
The young person makes du'a for Allah to help him or her find the right person.
The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates from among the network of people that they know. They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting.
If the young couple and their families agree, the couple meets in a chaperoned, group environment. Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)." The Prophet also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them." When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...." Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.
If the couple seems compatible, the families may investigate further - talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about the character of the potential spouse.
Before making a final decision, the couple prays salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help and guidance.
The couple agrees to pursue marriage or part ways. Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want.
This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove successful in the long-term.

Guy I doubt very much that you are in Nigeria. If you tell me that the quoran is against courtship I will listen to what you have o say but if you say that in practice muslims from this part of the world do not get involved in it then I will say that you are either not in Nigeria or you choose not to see what goes on around you.

Mad Cow:


[b]Too long a write up... Now let me explain this pastor and what he is known for..

PASTOR CHRIS OJIGBANI is Nigerias NO. 1 marriage pastor.. His marriage miracles are instant.. Like my Igbo peoples will say Che're We're miracle..


At his crusades, from meeting your spouse to marriage dosent take more than a week.. Infact, several people have met, courted and married their partners at his crusade in under 1 hour..


At one of his crusades, a woman attended the crusade today, went home and recieved a call from a guy in America that evening who professed love to her and everything and said he would marry her despite her having about two or three kids (this woman looked like she was atleast 50 yrs old) and promised to send her a Visa and all for her and her kids to join him in America.. She had never seen, met or spoken to the person before attending the crusade that evening... Apparently, the person saw her picture with someone she knows in the U.S and decided to marry her..


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCTgeK2oiv4


#I Fainted again!!

Thats his style...

[/b]His crusades are always filled with 85% single women...

i better start attending his crusades...on a serious note, i dey find wife but only a virgin o°˚ . I don't want a woman with high mileage or out of warranty.

Duke_Nija: I agree with
the Pastor.
Courtship won't change a thing.

Its not a must. With all the actors
playing safe patiently awaiting the
grand Finale.

Bull's eye!

i gues the pastor is entitled to his own opinion. For me, i'm gona marry my best friend, someone i'm already used to, both in character and otherwise. Someone i know i can tolerate her flaws and love her the way she is. I'm currently dating her now, and in few yrs time if we're stil together, i'm taking her to the altar... Obvisiously, not pst chris ojibawatever's altar

The lady I truely loved. I intended to marry wanted an expensive wedding. But I wanted a small wedding. Although that time I wasn't really working but I could only raise about N100,000 for the wedding. She refused. Pastor Ojigbani is only referring to men who are ready emotionally, financially to marry.After the relationship with this girl,I said I won't date any girl except I am ready for marriage.but recently my pastor introduce a girl to me but I refused on the grounds that I am not prepared for marriage, but I concurred after he persistently convinced me. .But recently the lady is seeing that I am not prepared for her. Those who are really ready won't dely or bother about courtship.

Leave pastor alone jor, he did not wake up from the right side of his bed before coming to preach. If not he would have considered the consequences of both situations before coming to preach. Perhaps he has a mission of promoting random divorsing or broken homes. Or maybe he wife is exibiting a character that was hiden to him while they were courting...

This is rily sad , ow won't courtship b important

Am nt against courtship..buh I kinda undastnd wat †ђξ pastor iz tryin t̶̲̥̅ơ̴͡ say...no mata hw long u study ur partner υ̲̣̥ wil neva graduate..so y †ђξ waste ov tym..human beings r soo unpredictable..besyds most courtship iz based on pretence

berem: am sure the eediot didn't court his wife too! Bloody hypocrites!

A Pastor gave his subjective view on Courtship.
And You feel its Nice and Cool to call him an 'eediot'

I'm sure you are courting someone whom You'll never bash but Praise and Sweet tongue.

You just Stamped his statement.

kessyur: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time And Very Improper-pst. Chris

i just finish listening to Pst. Chris Ojigbani. He spoke bitterly against courtship which he described as a waste of time. According to the renowned marriage counselor, you can never study a partner in toto so why waste time. He said two people can never be compatible . I kind of see some facts in what he said. What are your opinions?

fa fa fa foul! He shud refer to his bible evn d parents of our Lord Jesus christ courted. Twas during courtship dat Joseph found out mary was concieved of our Lord Jesus.