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Dedicated To Garri!! - Literature - Nairaland

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Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 12:00pm On Oct 16, 2012
Oh my sweet garri,the only food wey wan make me marry my sweet ijebu girlfriend cos she also loves garri.. You see,na garri wan make me marry at last...

Oh wonder garri,i call you "wonder grain" cos you can transform from dry garri to eba in the presence of hot water...i also call you "wonder grain" cos you can also choose to become a snack in the presence of cold water and sugar.. I also call you "wonder grain" cos you can equally be taken in your dry form.. You also proved to scientists that not only "matter" has 3 states[ solid, liquid,gas] garri also has 3 states [dry garri, soaked garri, eba]...

Oh colourful garri,i call you colorful cos you come in colors be it white or yellow..

Oh helpless garri,i call you helpless cos i see no reason why the MODs should hate you this much!

Oh trustworthy garri,i call you trustworthy cos you have earned the trust of the masses.. That same trust is what our leaders have been trying to earn but couldn't. You never disappoint,you always deliver whenever we need you,and our stomach can attest to that.. In-short, garri,we trust you more than our leaders,we value you more than our leaders..

Oh humble garri,i call you humble cos despite your importance to the masses,you didn't allow pride to take over you.. You interact with both the poor and rich,both the able and disable... The bible says " Pride comes before downfall".. You are not proud and shall never be fallen weda the mods and seun like am or not....

Oh healing garri,i call you healing cos i still remember the day you saved that girl from stomach-ache.. Do you know that chewing dey garri relieves stomach ache? All you doctors better add garri to your first Aid box..

Oh precious garri,i call you precious cos you are a gift from God. God saw the future of Nigeria and said,i need to give the masses something to hold on-to in the time of greedy leaders.. Something they can run to when hunger is at its peak. Lo and behold he said "let there be garri" and there was garri......

oh powerful garri,i call you powerful cos the amount of energy absorbed from soaking garri is strong enough to power the whole of Nigeria with uninterrupted electricity for a 1000 years. What do we need Natural gas plants for when we have garri? Those in the power sector had better start looking at the right place.

Oh strange garri,i call you strange cos there is something in your name that makes the mods/seun go hot whenever your name is mentioned.. Even the great Albert Einstein tried to unravel the mystery behind that,but couldn't.. It was reported that his last words were "tell the mods to let the garri-gang continue their campaign"
....
Oh attractive garri,i call you attractive cos there is this hidden magnetic force that draws foods from different families towards you.. You form a deadly alliance with these different foods to satisfy your master..
You form a strong bond with groundnut and sugar to satisfy the drinker...
You form a deadly combo with coconut and cold water to make the drinker giggle/smile while smoking you..
You form a strong defensive wall with smoked dry fish and pepper to make the drinker realize say "no be only rice and chicken be food"....
You form an enviable combo with kuli-kuli to keep the stomach busy... This is the most deadly combo of all, but some argue that its Groudnut and Garri not kuli kuli.


Oh garri, garri, garri,what more can i say.. Summarizing your importance/value in 5O pages is an insult to you,but hope you understand that the place you occupy in our hearts [ie: the garri squad] is precious enough to make "love" jealous...
When nkechi says "tolu broke my heart",we the Garri gang says "Garri won my heart"...
When brick and lace says "love is wicked",the garri squad says "Garri is kind and caring"..
When people say love is blind,the garri gang say " you can only get blurred image if you drink garri without milk always"... Atleast, it is better than being blind...

Oh wonderful garri,i call you wonderful cos you did what Nigerians have been trying to do for ages.. We have been trying to win the hearts of our politicians/leaders,but no way. Just one seductive move alone displayed by ijebu garri,made OBJ declare his never-ending love for garri publicly, by posting a video where the whole of Nigeria saw him engaging in a mouth to mouth romance with garri.. Now,can you beat that?..

@ Garri,Unbehalf of the Garri squad/Garri gang,i hereby present the award of " The most valuable food to you"...
*** garri gets up,bounces past seun and the mods with swag and collects his award** **camera catches rice,yam and beans gossiping about garri**
**garri gets back to his seat and whispers to the gossipers "you can say whatever you like,but i still remain the people's choice**

#long live garri,long live garri squad##

SIGNED BY::::::::::::::::: GARRI~ WARLORD.....
..
WRITTEN AND SEALED DURING THE DEADLY GARRI REVOLUTION WHICH SHOOK THE FOUNDATION OF NAIRALAND AND GAVE THE MODS SLEEPLESS NIGHTS..

DURING THIS PERIOD, WE MADE SEUN WET HIS PANTS,MADE MODS DOUBT THEIR SANITY.. WE DREW BLOOD AND LEFT A PERMANENT SCAR ON SEUN'S WRINKLED FACE.. cheesy grin tongue
DATE: October 16, 2012..
!!

13 Likes

Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Francheezy(m): 2:24pm On Oct 16, 2012
cool mahn, very c0ol and interestin, bk0z 0f diz, am g0na g0 drink Gary, ryt naw
.
.
.
.
.
.*kud0s, what gave u inspirati0n 2 ryt diz ?

1 Like

Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by oyedun82(m): 3:05pm On Oct 16, 2012
FINALLY GARRI HAS COME TO STAY. Seriously am drinking GARRI NOW.

Garri d poor man daily food

Garri d rich man choice

Garri d fastest of al fast food

#i rep teamgarri#

2 Likes

Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 3:09pm On Oct 16, 2012
Francheezy: cool mahn, very c0ol and interestin, bk0z 0f diz, am g0na g0 drink Gary, ryt naw
.
.
.
.
.
.*kud0s, what gave u inspirati0n 2 ryt diz ?
The inspiration came from the fact that garri is indeed a rare gem,and a very special thing..

3 Likes

Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 3:21pm On Oct 16, 2012
oyedun82: FINALLY GARRI HAS COME TO STAY. Seriously am drinking GARRI NOW.

Garri d poor man daily food

Garri d rich man choice

Garri d fastest of al fast food

#i rep teamgarri#
Gbam!!!
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by albacete(m): 7:30pm On Oct 16, 2012
@kslib: very interesting, keep it up.
Care to join me?
*brings out a bowl of garri and some sugar cubes*
wait let me get water and a bottle of groundnut.
*Rushes inside*
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 7:52pm On Oct 16, 2012
albacete: @kslib: very interesting, keep it up.
Care to join me?
*brings out a bowl of garri and some sugar cubes*
wait let me get water and a bottle of groundnut.
*Rushes inside*
**laughs and says "you go hear ween"**
**quickly chews all the dry garri and left a note saying "dear albacete,sorry i had to be this selfish,you know it is garri and i coulnd't resist the temptation"***
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by albacete(m): 6:23am On Oct 17, 2012
Kslib:
**laughs and says "you go hear ween"**
**quickly chews all the dry garri and left a note saying "dear albacete,sorry i had to be this selfish,you know it is garri and i coulnd't resist the temptation"***

OMG!
Kslib, y u do me dis naa?
*crying*... Oh my garri.. My garri oo... Eww
what have i done dat my garri will just vanish? Just like dat?
*shouting kslib's name*
kslibbb! Ksliibbb! Ksliiiiib!
I know u are joking. U can't be serious.
Oya come and carry dis half bag of rice.
@least it is bigger than d bowl of garri.
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 9:47am On Oct 17, 2012
albacete:

OMG!
Kslib, y u do me dis naa?
*crying*... Oh my garri.. My garri oo... Eww
what have i done dat my garri will just vanish? Just like dat?
*shouting kslib's name*
kslibbb! Ksliibbb! Ksliiiiib!
I know u are joking. U can't be serious.
Oya come and carry dis half bag of rice.
@least it is bigger than d bowl of garri.
Haahahaaha!! Thanks,but one bowl of garri is more valuable than one bag of rice..
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by khadaffi(m): 11:02pm On Oct 17, 2012
Hahahaha very funny. I actually went to the market this evening and the price of garri is still astronomically high. Baba God na your hand we dey o!
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Librate(m): 3:19pm On Oct 19, 2012
Put am 4 bowl Garri!
Put am sugar Garri
put am water e go dissolve one time!!
Garri no get advert at all e no need canning at all
GARRI OUR FOOD
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Emyo(m): 2:02pm On Oct 20, 2012
Mehn. TeamGARRI UNA TRY. If na garri fit make ur brain write diz, i advice al nigeria youths to do same o,...

It superb guy!
Keep it coming.
At least diz d 1st time am enjoyin my self in diz section.
Never imagined myself readin al through d end wit my phone.

1 Like

Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 3:28pm On Oct 20, 2012
Emyo: Mehn. TeamGARRI UNA TRY. If na garri fit make ur brain write diz, i advice al nigeria youths to do same o,...

It superb guy!
Keep it coming.
At least diz d 1st time am enjoyin my self in diz section.
Never imagined myself readin al through d end wit my phone.

Thanks man.. Garri is indeed an inspiration only to those who open their minds.. Up team garri
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by SlyIg(f): 6:20pm On Oct 20, 2012
Kslip, i love you for this writeup! I wish i can command it to the frontpage. You kw what? If only posts are always voted to d frontpage,this writeup would have gotten d highest vote to make it to d frontpage!
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by ITbomb(m): 3:43am On Oct 21, 2012
How did Ameachi reduce the price of garri?
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 9:30am On Oct 21, 2012
SlyIg: Kslip, i love you for this writeup! I wish i can command it to the frontpage. You kw what? If only posts are always voted to d frontpage,this writeup would have gotten d highest vote to make it to d frontpage!
Aww,thanks dear!! The mods no wan carry am go frontpage.. I think the mods hate anything that has to do with garri..
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by albacete(m): 11:18am On Oct 21, 2012
Kslib:
Aww,thanks dear!! The mods no wan carry am go frontpage.. I think the mods hate anything that has to do with garri..


But dem dey chop am wella. wink
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Nobody: 8:39am On Oct 26, 2012
grin grin grin grin

LOL!
OP GET PLENTY TIME!!
NAWAO grin grin
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Nobody: 8:41am On Oct 26, 2012
Oh strange garri,i call you strange cos there is something in your name that makes the mods/seun go hot whenever your name is mentioned.. Even the great albert einstien tried to unravel the mystery behind that,but couldn't.. It was reported that his last words were "tell the mods to let the garri-gang continue their campaign"....

grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 11:14am On Oct 26, 2012
*Kails*:
grin grin grin grin

LOL!
OP GET PLENTY TIME!!
NAWAO grin grin
Hmmn,this one na just the genesis of the beginning.. I wan even write complete big book for garri..
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Nobody: 1:25pm On Oct 26, 2012
Kslib:
Hmmn,this one na just the genesis of the beginning.. I wan even write complete big book for garri..

grin grin

wow..lol

funny thing is i have no idea what garri is.
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 2:01pm On Oct 26, 2012
*Kails*:


grin grin

wow..lol

funny thing is i have no idea what garri is.
HOLY BLOOD OF JESUS.. WHaaaaaaaaaat?
Wait oh!! Are you a NIGERIAN? Abi you just dey play with me?
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by 190theclown: 4:44pm On Oct 26, 2012
undecided undecided
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Obinoscopy(m): 6:47am On Oct 27, 2012
Nice piece Kslib. You're talented
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 10:13am On Oct 30, 2012
Obinoscopy: Nice piece Kslib. You're talented
Ah tanx.. This is my first writing on this section.. In the future,i will write in pidgin cos me no get time for all this big big grammer...
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by ay0201(m): 4:08pm On Nov 06, 2012
I would advice our cassava farmers not to fall for the pranks of the government in terms of using cassava to make cassava bread. If it happens, garri would become short in supply o!
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Nobody: 4:26pm On Nov 11, 2012
Kslib: Oh my sweet garri,the only food wey wan make me marry my sweet ijebu girlfriend cos she also loves garri.. You see,na garri wan make me marry at last...
Oh wonder garri,i call you "wonder grain" cos you can transform from dry garri to eba in the presence of hot water...i also call you "wonder grain" cos you can also choose to become a snack in the presence of cold water and sugar.. I also call you "wonder grain" cos you can equally be taken in your dry form.. You also proved to scientists that not only "matter" has 3 states[ solid, liquid,gas] garri also has 3 states [dry garri, garri snack, eba]...
Oh colourful garri,i call you colourful cos you come in colours be it white or yellow..
Oh helpless garri,i call you helpless cos certain circumstances such as flooding can make you become a rich man's food,but your strenght lies in your ability to also become the poor man's food within little time..
Oh trustworthy garri,i call you trustworthy cos you have earned the trust of the masses.. That same trust is what our leaders have been trying to earn but couldn't. You never disappoint,you always deliver whenever we need you,and our stomach can attest to that.. Inshort garri,we trust you more than our leaders,we value you more than our leaders..
Oh humble garri,i call you humble cos despite your importance to the masses,you didn't allow pride to take over you.. You interact with both the poor and rich,both the able and disable... The bible says " Pride comes before downfall".. You are not proud and shall never be fallen weda the mods and seun like am or not....
Oh healing garri,i call you healing cos i still remember the day you saved that girl from stomach-ache.. Do you know that chewing dey garri relieves stomach ache..
Oh precious garri,i call you precious cos you are a gift from God. God saw the future of Nigeria and said,i need to give the masses something to hold on-to in the time of greedy leaders.. Lo and behold he said "let there be garri" and there was garri......
oh powerful garri,i call you powerful cos the amount of energy absorbed from soaking garri is strong enough to power the whole of Nigeria with uninterrupted electricity for 1000 years.....
Oh strange garri,i call you strange cos there is something in your name that makes the mods/seun go hot whenever your name is mentioned.. Even the great albert einstien tried to unravel the mystery behind that,but couldn't.. It was reported that his last words were "tell the mods to let the garri-gang continue their campaign"....
Oh attractive garri,i call you attractive cos there is this hidden magnetic force that draws foods from different families towards you.. You form a deadly alliance with these different foods to satisfy your master..
You form a strong bond with groundnut and sugar to satisfy the drinker...
You form a deadly combo with coconut and cold water to make the drinker giggle/smile while smoking you..
You form a strong defensive wall with smoked dry fish and pepper to make the drinker realise say "no be only rice and chicken be food"....
You form an enviable combo with kuli-kuli to keep the stomach busy...

Oh garri, garri, garri,what more can i say.. Summarising you importance/value in 5O pages is an insult to you,but hope you understand that the place you occupy in our hearts [ie: the garri squad] is precious enough to make "love" jealous...
When nkechi says "tolu broke my heart",we the Garri gang says "Garri won my heart"...
When brick and lace says "love is wicked",the garri squad says "Garri is kind"..
When people say love is blind,the garri gang says "drinking garri always without milk makes your images blur"... Atleast it is better than being blind...
Oh wonderful garri,i call you wonderful cos you did what Nigerians have been trying to do for ages.. We have been trying to win the hearts of our politicians/leaders,but no way.. Many sexy ladies tried their best,but failed.. Just one seductive move alone displayed by ijebu garri,made OBJ declare his never-ending love for garri publicly by posting a video where the whole of Nigeria saw him engaging in a mouth romance with garri.. Now,can you beat that..

@ Garri,Unbehalf of the Garri squad/Garri gang,i hereby present this award of " The most valuable food to you"... *** garri gets up,bounces past seun and the mods with swag and collects his award** **camera catches rice,yam and beans gossiping about garri** **garri gets back to his seat and whispers to the gossipers "you can say whatever you like,but i still remain the people's choice**
#long live garri,long live garri squad##

SIGNED BY::::::::::::::::: GARRI~ WARLORD.....

Nice piece brah, I can't stop laughing grin grin......but na HEAVY TRUTH. I hail Garri troops!
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 8:38pm On Nov 11, 2012
seriallink:

Nice piece brah, I can't stop laughing grin grin......but na HEAVY TRUTH. I hail Garri troops!
No wahala!!! I no know why this mods no wan put am for front page.. Haba!! Na so una hate garri reach...

2 Likes

Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by mincuu(m): 3:47pm On Nov 12, 2012
.
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Nobody: 7:13am On Nov 13, 2012
Kslib:
HOLY BLOOD OF JESUS.. WHaaaaaaaaaat?
Wait oh!! Are you a NIGERIAN? Abi you just dey play with me?
No, she's Jamaican.

rotflmaoo!!!, Kslib, so you're Garri~Warlord, ehn?

Solidarity for ever
Solidarity for ever
Solidarity for ever
We shall always chop garri.

UP GARRI, the popular food of champions, national recipe.

your write up reminded me of this video.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbD4fU1SPI4
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Nobody: 5:29pm On Nov 13, 2012
The stupidesttt poo so far on NL. Like who gives a Bleep about garii
Re: Dedicated To Garri!! by Kslib(m): 6:19pm On Nov 13, 2012
REALITY101: The stupidesttt poo so far on NL. Like who gives a Bleep about garii
Like who da Bleep told ya to even comment on this thread since you dont give a Bleep about garr!?? Abeg,use shame fuuuck out of da bombaclaat thread. u hear....

2 Likes

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