Nairaland Forum

Francheezy: cool mahn, very c0ol and interestin, bk0z 0f diz, am g0na g0 drink Gary, ryt naw
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.*kud0s, what gave u inspirati0n 2 ryt diz ?

oyedun82: FINALLY GARRI HAS COME TO STAY. Seriously am drinking GARRI NOW.

Garri d poor man daily food

Garri d rich man choice

Garri d fastest of al fast food

#i rep teamgarri#

albacete: @kslib: very interesting, keep it up.
Care to join me?
*brings out a bowl of garri and some sugar cubes*
wait let me get water and a bottle of groundnut.
*Rushes inside*

Kslib:
**laughs and says "you go hear ween"**
**quickly chews all the dry garri and left a note saying "dear albacete,sorry i had to be this selfish,you know it is garri and i coulnd't resist the temptation"***

albacete:

OMG!
Kslib, y u do me dis naa?
*crying*... Oh my garri.. My garri oo... Eww
what have i done dat my garri will just vanish? Just like dat?
*shouting kslib's name*
kslibbb! Ksliibbb! Ksliiiiib!
I know u are joking. U can't be serious.
Oya come and carry dis half bag of rice.
@least it is bigger than d bowl of garri.

Emyo: Mehn. TeamGARRI UNA TRY. If na garri fit make ur brain write diz, i advice al nigeria youths to do same o,...

It superb guy!
Keep it coming.
At least diz d 1st time am enjoyin my self in diz section.
Never imagined myself readin al through d end wit my phone.

SlyIg: Kslip, i love you for this writeup! I wish i can command it to the frontpage. You kw what? If only posts are always voted to d frontpage,this writeup would have gotten d highest vote to make it to d frontpage!

Kslib:
Aww,thanks dear!! The mods no wan carry am go frontpage.. I think the mods hate anything that has to do with garri..

But dem dey chop am wella.

Oh strange garri,i call you strange cos there is something in your name that makes the mods/seun go hot whenever your name is mentioned.. Even the great albert einstien tried to unravel the mystery behind that,but couldn't.. It was reported that his last words were "tell the mods to let the garri-gang continue their campaign"....

*Kails*:


LOL!
OP GET PLENTY TIME!!
NAWAO

Kslib:
Hmmn,this one na just the genesis of the beginning.. I wan even write complete big book for garri..

*Kails*:




wow..lol

funny thing is i have no idea what garri is.

Obinoscopy: Nice piece Kslib. You're talented

Kslib: Oh my sweet garri,the only food wey wan make me marry my sweet ijebu girlfriend cos she also loves garri.. You see,na garri wan make me marry at last...
Oh wonder garri,i call you "wonder grain" cos you can transform from dry garri to eba in the presence of hot water...i also call you "wonder grain" cos you can also choose to become a snack in the presence of cold water and sugar.. I also call you "wonder grain" cos you can equally be taken in your dry form.. You also proved to scientists that not only "matter" has 3 states[ solid, liquid,gas] garri also has 3 states [dry garri, garri snack, eba]...
Oh colourful garri,i call you colourful cos you come in colours be it white or yellow..
Oh helpless garri,i call you helpless cos certain circumstances such as flooding can make you become a rich man's food,but your strenght lies in your ability to also become the poor man's food within little time..
Oh trustworthy garri,i call you trustworthy cos you have earned the trust of the masses.. That same trust is what our leaders have been trying to earn but couldn't. You never disappoint,you always deliver whenever we need you,and our stomach can attest to that.. Inshort garri,we trust you more than our leaders,we value you more than our leaders..
Oh humble garri,i call you humble cos despite your importance to the masses,you didn't allow pride to take over you.. You interact with both the poor and rich,both the able and disable... The bible says " Pride comes before downfall".. You are not proud and shall never be fallen weda the mods and seun like am or not....
Oh healing garri,i call you healing cos i still remember the day you saved that girl from stomach-ache.. Do you know that chewing dey garri relieves stomach ache..
Oh precious garri,i call you precious cos you are a gift from God. God saw the future of Nigeria and said,i need to give the masses something to hold on-to in the time of greedy leaders.. Lo and behold he said "let there be garri" and there was garri......
oh powerful garri,i call you powerful cos the amount of energy absorbed from soaking garri is strong enough to power the whole of Nigeria with uninterrupted electricity for 1000 years.....
Oh strange garri,i call you strange cos there is something in your name that makes the mods/seun go hot whenever your name is mentioned.. Even the great albert einstien tried to unravel the mystery behind that,but couldn't.. It was reported that his last words were "tell the mods to let the garri-gang continue their campaign"....
Oh attractive garri,i call you attractive cos there is this hidden magnetic force that draws foods from different families towards you.. You form a deadly alliance with these different foods to satisfy your master..
You form a strong bond with groundnut and sugar to satisfy the drinker...
You form a deadly combo with coconut and cold water to make the drinker giggle/smile while smoking you..
You form a strong defensive wall with smoked dry fish and pepper to make the drinker realise say "no be only rice and chicken be food"....
You form an enviable combo with kuli-kuli to keep the stomach busy...
Oh garri, garri, garri,what more can i say.. Summarising you importance/value in 5O pages is an insult to you,but hope you understand that the place you occupy in our hearts [ie: the garri squad] is precious enough to make "love" jealous...
When nkechi says "tolu broke my heart",we the Garri gang says "Garri won my heart"...
When brick and lace says "love is wicked",the garri squad says "Garri is kind"..
When people say love is blind,the garri gang says "drinking garri always without milk makes your images blur"... Atleast it is better than being blind...
Oh wonderful garri,i call you wonderful cos you did what Nigerians have been trying to do for ages.. We have been trying to win the hearts of our politicians/leaders,but no way.. Many sexy ladies tried their best,but failed.. Just one seductive move alone displayed by ijebu garri,made OBJ declare his never-ending love for garri publicly by posting a video where the whole of Nigeria saw him engaging in a mouth romance with garri.. Now,can you beat that..

@ Garri,Unbehalf of the Garri squad/Garri gang,i hereby present this award of " The most valuable food to you"... *** garri gets up,bounces past seun and the mods with swag and collects his award** **camera catches rice,yam and beans gossiping about garri** **garri gets back to his seat and whispers to the gossipers "you can say whatever you like,but i still remain the people's choice**
#long live garri,long live garri squad##

SIGNED BY::::::::::::::::: GARRI~ WARLORD.....

seriallink:

Nice piece brah, I can't stop laughing ......but na HEAVY TRUTH. I hail Garri troops!

Librate: Put am 4 bowl Garri!
Put am sugar Garri
put am water e go dissolve one time!!
Garri no get advert at all e no need canning at all
GARRI OUR FOOD

Kslib:
HOLY BLOOD OF JESUS.. WHaaaaaaaaaat?
Wait oh!! Are you a NIGERIAN? Abi you just dey play with me?

REALITY101: The stupidesttt poo so far on NL. Like who gives a Bleep about garii