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passing by

sandylurv: My relationship in which I had so much hope,where I found true love and hapiness,where nothing else mattered to me in this world have just come to an end because of genotype incompatibility (AS-AS).I feel shattered,broken,pained,disconsolate,heavy-hearted,sorrowful,aggrieved,wounded and bruised.my heart bleeds terribly,I've cried myself to sleep several times(usually I feel better after a good cry when I feel bad) bt I still dont feel better.I find myself blaming nature,my stupid genotype,and God....I loved him,I still do,with every fibre of my being.oh God,we had ‎​so much in common,ideas,views,beliefs,birth month,family structure,physical attributes etc.I know for sure,I'll never find anyone like him **sobbing** Until now,I neva believed any human cud feel this much pain.The amount of pain I carry in my heart at the moment is such that I keep wishing for death,mayb I wud find some peace there.I cant say but maybe I feel dis bad cuz it seems soo easy for him.He has moved on,barely one week after.Even went ahead to join a dating site jst bfor our break up.Maybe its just my imagination but it was rili easy for him.Don't know if its usually so easy to let go of someone you trully and really love.He was everything to me,he made me very happy,my world went round because of him,and now,my world feels so empty without him.We had decided to go ahead initially,with the plan of having CVS with each pregnancy but he is too scared to take that chance.This is the saddest thing that ever happened to me all my life.I still want him.Imagine finding someone you love completely,and finding all u ever wanted in that person bt still not be able to have that person.I'm praying to God for strength to carry on (eventhough I must be truthful,I'm sorry,bt my faith and belief in him has greatly dwindled) as I rili don't wanna do anytin nasty.I dnt understand why God wud sit by and watch me go through dis and not intervene.Any words of encouragement to help me go through dis wud be appreciated,as I dnt rili have my friends around me at the moment and I feel so lonely in this world,plus I rili needed to bare my heart one way or the other.I hope I feel better after this.God bless you.

Sorry abt this dear. I dnt knw how you feel now cos I'm not in ur position but I do know how it feels when you cant be with someone you truly love. It really hurts and sometimes,it feels like life is worthless without them. I dnt know how much I could be of help in encouraging you but I'd try.

sexkillz: Take heart. . . I am AS too.

No wonder

all is well dear.......

@ Sandy:

I guess while crying,you'd look at his picture and ask: God why me? I guess you'd constantly read old text msgs & the likes,hold on to everything that reminds you of him & break down again into tears... But trust me,the best that you guys can have is what it is. Trust me,you dont wanna know how it feels to raise a sickle cell child,that might eventually die after spending all your resources on him/her. At that stage,you'd be wishing you'd broken up with your husband early enough. Get one thing clear. Even if he was AA & U're AS,it does not guarantee a life long union of hapiness. We've seen pple break up after 6months - 1yr of marriage after dating for 6,7,8 yrs. They always thought they'd found the best thing in life. I'm not tryna discredit or dismiss the love you have for ur man but trust me,when sickle cell issues arise for pple,it's only God that can tell how things will end up. Do not forget that marriage has it's own challenges that some pple cant even handle & adding that to the challenge of dealing with sickle cell kids is something else. Even those who are extremely wealthy,dont find it easy. My advice is,try(I knw it wont be easy) to psyche urself up & face this reality. U can only get over this by finding another relationship that would measure up to what you just lost(if not better). So,try to put urself in the right frame of mind. Go out,meet pple,hangout with friends,see movies,etc. Get involved with as many activities that would help you get over this & also improve ur chances of getting hooked up to somebody worthwhile. Duelling on this incident,is a complete minus and adds no positives. Time is off essence. Try to be strong for yourself. Talk with friends often and avoid being lonely. There are so many options to explore. This's the much I can say now. If you need a friend to talk to,you could also holla me on 07065614087. Perhaps,I might be able to crack you a few jokes & cheer you up from time to time. Just have this at the back of ur mind: there's a beautiful life ahead of you;dnt let the past hinder you. Cheers!

Your faith in God has dwindled

My dear, I know there is no amount of words that will heal your broken heart at this juncture. But it is the bitter truth you need to face and accept. In as much as I know how you feel cos I did assume your place and I know fully well that it ain't a fair experience at all. Yet! just so you know that it was never the fault of the almighty that you happened to come across someone like that (Talking about the geno.. whateva)... I think you should be tankful still for everything. The fact that nature says it so doesnt mean it was the fault of God. The way I see it, it's only God that can help you put yourself together again. This is the time you need to acknowledge his greatness and goodness in your life more rather than lose faith in him. One thing you must realise is that, we all have our fair share of nature's tricks whether you believe it or not. The thing about life is not so much that happens to you but rather what you do about what happens. The advice I will humbly offer to you at this time is that, instead of you to sit down and whine over what has happened, why not redirect your energies towards making things better for yourself. I know you might say this is easier said than done, right! but this this reality and you must learn to face it whenever it befalls you. I know I dont have the necessary words to help sedate you, but I will rather espose to the realities you need to face and how to go about everything to help put you put yourself back together again. I feel for you a great deal and I wish I were to be near you to help you get over this, but be it as it may, you just have to try as much as you can to get back on your feet as usual. One thing you need to be aware of is that, no matter how good you think he is, there is always someone better. I know it might be very hard to get that person, but if you can trust in God again and believe that he can get you someone like him again with no genotype issue, you might be surprised that he might get you someone that is better of than him. That is the more reason why you have to acknowledge him still irrespective what you are going through. Furthermore, you need to work on how to let go of him in your heart now and especially when you are disposed to let in some other person. And please dont try to compare him with anyone that will be next because if you do, no matter how angelic that person might be, you will still be seeing alot of vulnerabilities at the begining stages if you decide to keep this at heart..

God knows why my dear... It might be unclear to us as humans why this happened but he is the ultimate and he sees things before they even happen. Who knows if something would come up later on that would be detrimental to you... No one knows except God. So just try AMA you can to put yourself together.

I wish you well.

.

Sorry OP....I am AS too...happened to me and we both walked away.... we are both happily married now ....still remain good friends....

Thank God for preventing another future disaster

Trust me babe, if u had gone along with it, you'd av felt even worse than all those things u listed above. In err'tin, give thanks! You will find your own man...

Think more about the childred you two would have had.
I lost 3 close friends before the age of 22: all were SS (sicklers)

If you have money. And I mean real money its not a problem.

My papa na Native Doctor. He fit help you do am wey the children no go get crisis.

He did it for the likes of 9ice and 2face and see them today. Or have you heard they have had crisis while performing even as dem lepa reach?

xynerise:
No wonder

Yeah no wonder.

@op, have you never heard of sex selection and genotype manipulation? Please research on the internet. Alot of hospitals offer genotype manipulation using in-vitro fertilization outside the womb. After fertilization, they select the best feotus excluding the SS genotype and then implant in the womb.

If you love each other so much and have some loose funds to experiment with, technology is the way to go.

Thank you.

Sorry dear. My sister was in the same situation. However she insisted and married the guy. They have a son now who is AS. Its sad to know your fiance found it so easy to move on. Though I'm not encouraging you'all to take the risk but @ least.... . With God, all things are possible. I pray you find happiness.

OP, U‘ll find ur PERFECT AA match soon. Pls do not allow this weigh u down.

both of you can still live happily by adopting kids, sorry for your bad experience, life has never being fair to anyone.

I hope you find someone has good as him soon

take heart

sexkillz: Take heart. . . I am AS too.

dude are u for real? Or is it for the sake of consolation? You?, AS? Hmmm.

I had tears in my eyes after reading your story.
I have a friend who was in that situation. He tried to move on quickly, but couldn't and they are married now after some counselling.
Maybe they don't want children as he lives in the UK, I don't know.

One thing I'll like to tell you is this: time always makes things better. It would seem like you can not survive, but never forget that YOU WILL SURVIVE. Time sends some cool breeze that would dry your tears. Just embrace LIFE and GOD.

At the beginning, it would be hard, but it would ease out after a while.

Sending you lots of hugs.

zzzz

sandylurv: My relationship in which I had so much hope, where I found true love and hapiness, where nothing else mattered to me in this world has just come to an end because of genotype incompatibility (AS-AS).

I feel shattered ,broken, pained, disconsolate, heavy-hearted, sorrowful, aggrieved, wounded and bruised. My heart bleeds terribly, I've cried myself to sleep several times(usually I feel better after a good cry when I feel bad) but I still don't feel better. I find myself blaming nature, my stupid genotype, and God....I loved him, I still do, with every fibre of my being.

Oh God,we had ‎​so much in common, ideas, views, beliefs, birth month, family structure,physical attributes etc.I know for sure,I'll never find anyone like him **sobbing** Until now,I neva believed any human cud feel this much pain.

The amount of pain I carry in my heart at the moment is such that I keep wishing for death, maybe I would find some peace there. I cant say but maybe I feel dis bad cuz it seems soo easy for him. He has moved on, barely one week after. Even went ahead to join a dating site just before our break up. Maybe its just my imagination but it was really easy for him. I don't know if its usually so easy to let go of someone you truly and really love.

He was everything to me, he made me very happy, my world went round because of him, and now, my world feels so empty without him. We had decided to go ahead initially, with the plan of having CVS with each pregnancy but he is too scared to take that chance. This is the saddest thing that ever happened to me all my life. I still want him. Imagine finding someone you love completely, and finding all u ever wanted in that person but still not be able to have that person.

I'm praying to God for strength to carry on (even though I must be truthful, I'm sorry, but my faith and belief in him has greatly dwindled) as I really don't wanna do anything nasty.I don't understand why God would sit by and watch me go through dis and not intervene.

Any words of encouragement to help me go through dis would be appreciated, as I don't really have my friends around me at the moment and I feel so lonely in this world, plus I really needed to bare my heart one way or the other.

I hope I feel better after this. God bless you.

sorry honey i got a break up text this morning myself so i'm hurting too but i will say this to you ,its perfectly OK to feel the way you do .
You are exactly where God wants you to be so that he can show you what he is made of.He knows what you want, he knows you are hurting SO IF EVER YOU HAVE BASKED IN THE GOODNESS AND GLORY OF THE LORD, IF EVER GOD HAS DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU, BE STILL AT THIS VERY SAD TIME BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU KNOW OF GOD, you will look back in yrs to come and say phew thank goodness

Off all the 20yrs or so I stayed in UK, genotype was not a word I heard let alone considered in my relationships. Same was the case wit my friends and associates. When I returned 2 Naija, I learnt it is a big issue. So my question is, why? Do they av more advanced solutions 2 "genotype incompatibilty" in western countries or are they less concerned about welfare of offspring.

For those who come on NL just 2 yell insults, walk away. I am interested in being educated.

Its ok to feel pain dear, pain is an inevitable part of a human beings life, but the ability to overcome pain is what makes us stronger. Cheer up dear cuz in the end you would be glad u didnt go through with this. God is still God he knows why.

God will see you through

obi123:


sorry honey i got a break up text this morning myself so i'm hurting too but i will say this to you ,its perfectly OK to feel the way you do .
You are exactly where God wants you to be so that he can show you what he is made of.He knows what you want, he knows you are hurting SO BE STILL BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU KNOW OF GOD , you will look back in yrs to come and say phew thank goodness

You got a break up text? Ahh! Na wa oooo. Anywayz, it's well sha. I hope it ain't telling on you that much...

More power to your elbow.

dmcdad:

You got a break up text? Ahh! Na wa oooo. Anywayz, it's well sha. I hope it ain't telling on you that much...

More power to your elbow.

well there is a God , it hurts but life goes on really

Sorry dear..but u have to look at the other end_ur children.

All relationshps must not end in marriage...

My dear i understand how you feel, I suffered same and ended a four year relationship. I thought I couldn't survive it, she was devastated, but truth is, don't allow it to weigh you down, life must go on. Pray that you find a better love.

IT HAPPEN TO ME TWO MONTHS AGO, WE LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH, BUT I HAVE TO LOVE MY UNBORN CHILDREN TOO. WE BROKE UP, SHE'S MOVED ON WHILE AM STILL SEARCHING FOR AA