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Somebody Help: Genotype Issues Is Killing Me / Will You consider a Genotype Test Before Marriage? / Would You End A Beautiful Relationship Over Religious Differences? (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: . by Ojeremi(m): 5:31pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
dear,let me tell u my story. I am a 26yr old final yr med studnt,proudly AS.my 2nd ever luv and d only 1 i have is a final yr nursing studnt,also AS. WE luv each other .we have settled for CVS. I Believe evry relatnshp has it own challenges only those who can get over it can move on. Its nt absolute you wud have an ss.many fins cn be done. Bt if both of u dnt bliv in moving on,its best for you to quit or else you regret it later in life. 1 Like |
| Re: . by Nobody: 5:35pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
nosa gold: Simple solution is to find someone else. All this love in tokyo things kids do nowadays. There is no guarantee that you wont end up hating the guy and vice versa after 7months of marriage. There is no such thing as you cant live without one person. That is just your brain deceiving you. Simple solution is find someone else and avoid the headache. Why start thinking of adopting kids when you can find someone else that you can have kids with. |
| Re: . by ncee(f): 5:47pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
My dear, d truth of d matter is dat God has a better plan 4u. I understand how u feel, just take it easy with urself, if God cannot give it 2u, den u don't need it no matter how u look @it. Keep lookn up 2God, neva give up on Him, u will surely smile again. There is always light @ the end of every tunnel. |
| Re: . by yomilike(m): 5:56pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
ednut1: passing byU no quite if u no get talk?mtcheeeeewww odee |
| Re: . by virginvampire(m): 6:14pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Maybe the guy is lying to u...........why did u show him ur Gneotype result...al dis so called faithful girls sef |
| Re: . by eherbal(m): 6:18pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Your predicament tallies with that of friend,who,when finally found true love,was hindered by the genotype anomaly.to say she was devastated is an understatement.she just vaporised,dissolved into oblivion.her mans father refused all entreatise, even from clerics,proffering solutions to the matter.although she's moved on,the memories of the relationship still haunts her.i pray God Almighty soothes her pain and yours too,dear.everyone deserves to be happy. |
| Re: . by elpatch(m): 6:23pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Thank God you two made the decision to separate in time.I have seen a mother who lost 4 of her 5 chilren to complications of HbSS.when the last was about to give up,she looked at her parents and started cursing them.I'm sure you won't want to pass through this.plus I just lost a 32yr old beaytiful lady to the same ailment just few hours ago.as bad as it may seems now trust me you'll be able u'l be happy u made the deciaion. |
| Re: . by Biggyd2: 6:24pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Orikinla: [size=18pt]It is always best to ask for the medical history first before dating.[/size] Thank you. Let's save ourselves unwanted problems. Ask questions before love sets in, please. @ Op, if you are not interested in sex selection, maybe you should try adoption. If not, let go. Time will heal your wounds. Life is not always a bed of roses. And contrary to what people like to believe,'love doesn't always conquer everything". |
| Re: . by Ticklishmummy(f): 6:28pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Its good to read people's varied opinions but like a yoruba adage says "eni tii o tii ku o ti m0 iku tii o ma pa" translating to "no can say exacty how he/she will pass on when that time comes. I won't even bore the OP with stories but let me tell you one thing,whilst there are people like you who will openly ask for advice,there are also tons of people who decide to forge ahead with their relationships,get married and take whatever comes with it.Life is all about choices.Am sure if the guy insisted you both forge ahead irrespective of whatever you will not put this here and that is why I will NEVER pass judgement on parents with sickle cell children because I am not in the best position to do so.They made a choice.Just so you know sickle cell is one of the many gene disorders and major illnesses that abounds in the world.You need to come to UK to know what am talking about.Children and adults with full time carers,who cannot even enjoy the luxury of an independent life.I am in a train now and I'm standing next to an adult like me in a wheel chair,specially designed for her(her head is propped up with some kind of support) and yes her carer is standing next to her.Now don't get me wrong,I'm just trying to let you know that there are worse things in Life and it doesn't mean its the end of the world.Whilst your aim is to make informed decisions that will guide your next relationship please don't forget that it is important to commit your ways to God and he will prosper you in all relationship inclusive.God bless 1 Like |
| Re: . by okoisokan: 6:31pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Sometimes some decision can be very painful,believe U̶̲̥̅̊ ♍ε,that's †ђε best decision U̶̲̥̅̊ av taken. A̶̲̅ child with SS genotype Ȋ̝̊§ A̶̲̅ paradigm δf leaking pocket Ǎ̜̣̍Ϟd source δf sorrow t̶̲̥̅̊ợ̣̣̇̇̇ †ђε parents,especially †ђε mother.t̶̲̥̅̊ợ̣̣̇̇̇ †ђε man he may believe that with Ğoº°˚°ºϑ health care,it can be controlled but ℓ̊ tell U̶̲̥̅̊ as †ђε mother, U̶̲̥̅̊ Ϟ•̸ill be tired δf parading †ђε hospital almost on A̶̲̅ monthly basis.Life goes on ♍♈ sista,no best man,there Ȋ̝̊§ always A̶̲̅ better man.May G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ lead U̶̲̥̅̊ right i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ meeting anoda better man.Ǎ̜̣̍Ϟd as for those kids suffering from †ђε ailment,ℓ̊ pray that †ђε ultimate healer visit each Ǎ̜̣̍Ϟd every one δf them. |
| Re: . by Biggyd2: 6:35pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Abali1: Yeah an amniocenthesis test can be carried out durimg pregnancy †☺ detect d baby's genotype.Ȋ̝̊̅†§ can be done in Nigeria-sickle cell centre,idi araba,lagos,opp luth nd sumwhere in oshodi,fetal diagnostic centre.dose r d two centres I knw,bt mayb dere r odas too.my candid advice iz for U̶̲̥̅̊ both †☺ give it a veri serious tot nd be sure U̶̲̥̅̊ rili wanna do dis,cuz wat if d test shows an ss baby,wud U̶̲̥̅̊ kip it or abort? Dats a delinma nd m sure it won't be an easy descision.gd luck ( Quote) |
| Re: . by fulli16(m): 7:03pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
i know this might sound stupid but its true...LOVE CONQUERS ALL. that doesnt mean caution should be ignored. Yet there is nothing impossible 4 God to do. My life still remains a testimony till today...my parents re both AS and here i am...i have been so close to death many times but am proud of my God. let me not waist tym with my stories...My dear if u believe in God...nothing else matters!!!  |
| Re: . by Sweetdbest: 7:06pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
sandylurv: My relationship in which I had so much hope, where I found true love and hapiness, where nothing else mattered to me in this world has just come to an end because of genotype incompatibility (AS-AS). Listen, God is your father and with your faith, if you are a Christian and you believe in the power of God Almighty, watch Emmanuel TV and go there, The Synagogue Church of All nations, if you believe Jesus will heal you and you will have to marry the man you love. Genotype is devils work and has no power where God is. Seek the face of God and the genotype will change for good. My friend had similar problem and went to Synagogue Church and today, they have their normal children and the genotye disappeared |
| Re: . by fairygeh(f): 7:11pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
You should be grateful,u are saving urself a lot of dilemma with this decision cos u would end up regretting it if u go ahead,the chances of u guys having sickle cell kids s very high,and the pain and trauma those people pass through is something else,i have friends who are S S and i see them pass through pain and even curse their parents for bringing them into the world to suffer.cos in the end if u guys marry and u start having SS babies,even the love between u and ur husband wont be so strong,the home may scatter.just move on dear and see this as God's wish |
| Re: . by Nobody: 7:14pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Sweetdbest:BULLSHIT! 1 Like |
| Re: . by missuzoma: 7:21pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
In my own case, I had incredible luck. Both of us are AS but none of our three kids is a sickler; two are As while one is Aa. It was a hard decision but that was twenty two years ago and we were very young and full of faith and optimism. I would think twice agreeing to such a thing now that I am a bit older and more sober. I wouldn't allow my child to take such a risk. We panicked each of the three times we took the kids for genotype tests and the day the third and final kid tested as AA, we celebrated and put a stop to any other thought of child bearing. |
| Re: . by siobahn: 7:23pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
@OP, I know this is very hard for you and indeed no one can feel the amount of hurt and sorrow you feel but trust me, God knows best. I have an aunt who lost 2 kids in a week to sickle cell anaemia, can't tell u how much she went through that trying period. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on, I'm sure there's a wonderful man out there waiting to give u so much love. Take care! |
| Re: . by yomilike(m): 7:26pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
ednut1: passing by |
| Re: . by joelala(m): 7:26pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
[quote author=flexya]Off all the 20yrs or so I stayed in UK, genotype was not a word I heard let alone considered in my relationships. Same was the case wit my friends and associates. When I returned 2 Naija, I learnt it is a big issue. So my question is, why? Do they av more advanced solutions 2 "genotype incompatibilty" in western countries or are they less concerned about welfare of offspring. For those who come on NL just 2 yell insults, walk away. I am interested in being educated. [/quot great point...nigerians are to lazy to think and figure out solutions to problems, rather they call God to evry issue...the op is hurt, come out wth practical and reasonable solution to her problem, rather than the stereotypical everyday line..God will dis God will that...wch has never been a solution to practical and realistic problems...thats why nigerians will never move forward,always too religious and sentimental. |
| Re: . by 234GT(m): 7:37pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Too bad I am AS too. 1 Like |
| Re: . by Hotstepper(f): 7:50pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
That's why I advice people in a relationship to do all the test so you can never tell so ou know on time. Trust me, you will okay and love again. |
| Re: . by NEROSKY(m): 7:50pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
abiki: Sorry dear. My sister was in the same situation. However she insisted and married the guy. They have a son now who is AS. Its sad to know your fiance found it so easy to move on. Though I'm not encouraging you'all to take the risk but @ least.... . With God, all things are possible. I pray you find happiness.they did have a kid wif AS neva mean SS Won't fall in, pls @op don't take any risk, go get a life, i guess @chronique has said it all..i lov dat piece |
| Re: . by ochukoccna: 8:08pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
@op,What's your genotype is about the 1st question you ask any would be mate Why did you guys get so romantically involved before deciding to part ways because of genotype?  There's no wisdom in that  1 Like |
| Re: . by Nobody: 8:10pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Hotstepper: That's why I advice people in a relationship to do all the test so you can never tell so ou know on time. Trust me, you will okay and love again.I feel no pity at all. Like @Hotstepper rightly said, if you wanna venture in2 a serious reltnship, thou shall do an extensive test b4 commencing. I dated my chic for one year, at the start of the 2nd year, when i knew the relationship was heading somwhere we opted for an extensive test, from the least of them to the greatest amongst them, including HIV/AIDS . . We are both AA and non-reactive to HIV !!! HURRAY!!! IF YOU KNOW U WANNA ENTER A SERIOUS & COMMITTED RELTNSHIP, PLEASE GO FOR A COMPATIBILITY TEST !! HE WHO HAS AN EAR, LET HIM LISTEN |
| Re: . by 401kk: 8:11pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
AS, that means ashawo, abi? 1 Like |
| Re: . by Lawman4nairalnd(m): 8:17pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
My dear i knw hw u feel bt save urself a prblm by quiting d relationship.pls dn't fustrate ur future kids,do not challenge God by forging ahead wit dat relationship,be wise,my prayer is dat God wil send 2 u a suitable man in ur life in Jesus name Amen!!!.. |
| Re: . by Nobody: 8:17pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
401kk: AS, that means ashawo, abi? AA .. that means "ANIMAL ANCESTRY" abi? |
| Re: . by 401kk: 8:18pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
sexkillz: BULLSHIT! Having faith in god is bullshit? I thought you were a christian? |
| Re: . by kpolli(m): 8:35pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Sorry dear but funny something keeps telling me he didn't love u like u love him |
| Re: . by nanaman(m): 8:43pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
We know the truth yet we refuse to tell ourselves but we call on God who his resting and have other vital issues to deal with. We don't want to suffer,fail or face problems in our life yet it is bodly written in the bibble that we shall be faced with problems and he ( the lord) would not allow our problem to over come us. So sorry the way i would be helping you out in your problem.I realise we Nigerians are hypocrites every problem in life is always from Satan not minding there are issue of natures itself..Okay,i don't believe in horoscope and i don't read it daily but i read about some stuffs which i would want you to do..i was born on 22nd April..i read lots about taurus,people born on 22nd day of the month,read people born on Thursday because it fell on Thursday,first born because i am one..you would marvel if you read..nature itself as its ways like people born on 22nd are not expected to attach themselves to some dates so do some little reading it helps. You think you have the worst problem abi..Ok.Take a trip to Igbobi please, don't ask of the mortuary (we shall all die) so you may not be moved,take another trip to the ward of people with broken or amputated legs ( don't cry because they would can have artificial limbs to move on with) before you go please take your last trip to the Spinal Cord Injury ward where you would see people who can talk but can never & may never sit or move their body again in life ( Tetraplegia) ,you would meet people who can talk,feel their body but cannot sit nor walk and may never be able till eternity(quadriplegia) and you also meet people who can move only their upper limbs alone and may never be able to walk again in life. (paraplegia). All of these group of people would be confined to the wheelchair for life..I wish they can tell you what they are passing through..Let me give you a little because am paraplegia..you can urinate without any aid... we make use of catheter..you can go to toilet whenever you want..we make use of our hand with glove to remove feaces (manual) once or twice a week. You can sit for hrs without moving..we must shift every 10mins to avoid bedsores which is the worst..you can have s e x with no probs..you must be on drug or other stuffs like a ring to have e-rection..we must go through insemination or other medical jagons to have a child. Not saying Spinal Cord Injured patients don't make it life,we are doing very well in our various endeavors but i don't know which is higher... the crisis of an SS or bedsores,toilet & urine accidents,discriminations,restrictions etc which is suffered by Spinal Cord Injured patients though both have short life span except the cash is there to do bone marrow transplant. My dear sister,imagine you guys were AA and you married if he should have any the Spinal Cord Injury problems before your marriage..would you marry him  be sincere.If yes,then i can tell you to go ahead with your courtship because you are strong enough to have an SS as a kid if it happens you have one,you would be able to take all the challenges whenever it arises. I know 98 percent of Nigeria women would NEVER stay in such relationships so open your heart and believe you have gone through one of the problems in life with no choice than to follow Obama's slag which i also use..I CAN..Stand before a mirror,wipe away your tears,look unto the lord and say THANK YOU LORD !!! 1 Like |
| Re: . by forkinsonlolo(m): 9:21pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
ochukoccna: @op,What's your genotype is about the 1st question you ask any would be matesome people would just assume there genotype to be AA without medical checkup, my ex-girlfriend told me she was AA at the start of the relationship because she was strong and doesn't fall sick, when i forced her to lab her eye con clear  |
| Re: . by Nobody: 10:02pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
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