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Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? - Romance - Nairaland

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Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Nobody: 7:50pm On Nov 01, 2012
So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by k2039: 8:11pm On Nov 01, 2012
You and your friend really know what to do, you obviously just don't want to do it.
If she cant wait,exit door is always open.

10 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Smuthx(m): 5:17am On Nov 02, 2012
She should leave the guy. he sounds uncertain to take a giant step forward in life-time commitment. If she has a well paying job, a little bit of advertise will attract able young, single men out there

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by hustla242: 3:00pm On Nov 02, 2012
What is it with Nigerian babes and marriage, what's the rush?

It's a lifetime commitment and sometimes we just need time to be sure of what we're getting ourselves into.

12 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Ramcie(f): 3:03pm On Nov 02, 2012
hustla242: What is it with Nigerian babes and marriage, what's the rush?

It's a lifetime commitment and sometimes we need time to be sure of what we're getting ourselves into.

What is it with Nigerian boys like you and the fear of commitment tongue tongue

20 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by violent(m): 3:04pm On Nov 02, 2012
There is NOTHING she should do about it. If the young man is not ready to settle down, then he's simply NOT ready! If your friend is not happy with it, then she should find someone else who is ready to settle down with her.

I'm getting gutted by this idea that dating for x number of years should automatically mean marriage. Marriage is a CHOICE, if the dude is not ready to make that choice, then leave him alone!!!

5 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by SafiyaAliyu: 3:04pm On Nov 02, 2012
just pray about it for prayers is the key to all worries.

5 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Nobody: 3:05pm On Nov 02, 2012
^^nna mehn,u just said it.why the rush.give the guy time.am sure the guy really wants to get married cos he proposed.buh things didn't turn out the way he planned.allow the dust in his finances to settle down and in no time u two will settle down

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by ace1(m): 3:06pm On Nov 02, 2012
The exit door is open, but note, that is not the best option. Good guys are hard to find, so are good women. They should talk more about it

2 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by 2pence(m): 3:10pm On Nov 02, 2012
Not every relationship must end in marriage;#most# girls find it difficult to accpect this fact;ask your friend this simple question for me ; Has this guy ever introduced her to his mum or any family member ? My dear Walk away ooo

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Nobody: 3:11pm On Nov 02, 2012
The man in question has developed cold feet due to the trauma of the job he lost, he has been re-engineered to focus more on his fiscal foundation. The lady in question is selfish cos she is only worried about 'getting married' and not considering the guy's state of mind. What can she do ? Communication - She has to sit down with the guy and discuss finances, not love. Discuss on a back-up business that will generate alternative income for them cos the job lost has scared that guy out of his usual senses, so once they agreed on a back-up financial leverage, and actually start alternative investment the guy's feet will 'become warm' again.

20 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by acidtalk: 3:12pm On Nov 02, 2012
A man proposing doesn't necessarily means he really wants to settle down with you.

Below is a MUST read for every lady in her 20s

https://www.nairaland.com/1086018/advice-every-lady-early-20s


Even though older girls have wasted their time on the wrong guys. You young ladies can avoid such mistake.

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by TableLeg(m): 3:13pm On Nov 02, 2012
She should try developing warm feet ..... undecided

2 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by SamMilla1(m): 3:14pm On Nov 02, 2012
Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

You know too much for this to come from your friend.
I will be in a better position to give you a better advice if you are the lady in Question.
If not advice your friend to seek solutions on her own whether here on nairaland or elswewhere.
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Kslib(m): 3:18pm On Nov 02, 2012
Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.



Was it on April 1st? If it was indeed on April 1st,then you know what it means...

2 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by masterpiecer(m): 3:22pm On Nov 02, 2012
Threaten him that you want out of the relationship, see his response, if he doesn't really want to know why u want to leave and also plead with you not to leave, then know he isn't ready to marry you, but if he does the opposite then every other thing is left for you to work out to make him see why its important for u guys to get married soon.

3 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by masterpiecer(m): 3:23pm On Nov 02, 2012
Kslib:
Was it on April 1st? If it was indeed on April 1st,then you know what it means...

April fool i guessgrin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by fadamekus(m): 3:24pm On Nov 02, 2012
Kslib:
Was it on April 1st? If it was indeed on April 1st,then you know what it means...
U go kill person o grin
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by titsqueez(m): 3:24pm On Nov 02, 2012
Leave story the guy has a lover in the spirit world. He probably only just found out himself and is trying to come to terms with it.

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by phatfyn(f): 3:28pm On Nov 02, 2012
She shld find an exit door shikenna! D guy is not ready
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Mavor: 3:30pm On Nov 02, 2012
WHy do 9ja chicks like rushing to marriage? Dem use that word swear for una? Gosh!!!!!

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by fadamekus(m): 3:30pm On Nov 02, 2012
The guy wan first confam frm him pastor to knw weda na hm mrs right or mrs left.. Jus sayin wink
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by lolafaj: 3:37pm On Nov 02, 2012
I think we’ve all seen this movie:

Boy proposes to girl to tie her down,
Boy breaks up with girl when she least expects
Boy get married to another girl just a few months later

True-story this happened to a friend of mine. She was with this dude for about 5 years.

Noways, my advice to your friend – her and her partner clearly not on the same page and she cannot force him into anything. If she wants to get married she needs to let the guy know that she is ready to get married and cannot wait for him. She needs to meet someone that is ready to get married. I know it’s not easy demoting yourself from fiancé back to girlfriend but it needs to be done if she is in such a hurry to get married. She would just have to let her new bf know that she is not just testing the waters she is looking for a lifelong commitment.

People are in a hurry to get married, some are tied of marriage and want out, all sorts. God help us all.

4 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Nobody: 3:40pm On Nov 02, 2012
Ramcie:

What is it with Nigerian boys like you and the fear of commitment tongue tongue
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by pecopeco: 3:40pm On Nov 02, 2012
Smuthx: She should leave the guy. he sounds uncertain to take a giant step forward in life-time commitment. If she has a well paying job, a little bit of advertise will attract able young, single men out there
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Nobody: 3:41pm On Nov 02, 2012
Ramcie:

What is it with Nigerian boys like you and the fear of commitment tongue tongue



No mind them, the guy is still playing around. No be bankers

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by oubi: 3:41pm On Nov 02, 2012
D story ws perfectly told in second person point of view grin grin grin
Which is best to avoid direct insult grin grin
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Nobody: 3:42pm On Nov 02, 2012
violent: There is NOTHING she should do about it. If the young man is not ready to settle down, then he's simply NOT ready! If your friend is not happy with it, then she should find someone else who is ready to settle down with her.

I'm getting gutted by this idea that dating for x number of years should automatically mean marriage. Marriage is a CHOICE, if the dude is not ready to make that choice, then leave him alone!!!


Very correct
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by tonym1(m): 3:52pm On Nov 02, 2012
Be patient
Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by Gabrielsylar(m): 3:53pm On Nov 02, 2012
I thot they say girls have backup....why didn't she do the girl thingy

1 Like

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by SELFWORTH: 3:55pm On Nov 02, 2012
You both sound stupid to me looking for advice about something that affects your whole life on a forum that is full of all kinds of faceless people.

The person may actually be a member of this forum. I won't put it past him knowing the sort of people on this forum .

No one here is an ultimate expert on anything. Take it to God .

4 Likes

Re: Has Her Fiance' Developed Cold Feet And If Yes, What Can She Do About It? by ipromise: 3:57pm On Nov 02, 2012
S̤̥̈̊
н̣̣̣̝̇̇̇
ǝ̥̥
should be patient with him, H̶̲̥̅̊
ε̲̣̣̣̥
has ȋ̝̊̅̄
Ƨ̷̜̩̌̋
own reason of delaying ïŧ....be patience A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ believe I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ him.

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