Pls i have a personal issue that is disturbing.my hubby and i planned having 2 or 3 kids.i have a baby girl now and would love to give birth around next year.i need my next babies to be a set of twins(boys) so i know am done with reproducing.anyway i have a history of twins in my family,my late dad was a twin and my paternal grand mum was a twin also.so i contacted a reproductive endocrilogist/gynaecologist in america on how to increase my chances of getting what i need.so its near possible all i have to do is visit with my hubby.now i was just discussing with my mum and my pastor and it lead to me telling her of my plans.all she and my pastor said was that i dont want to have kids through the Godly way rather am putting aLl my trust in a man.they said i have to pray for forgiveness.i have been having deep thoughts since they said that to me.am i really not believing God or not.

First what is the "Godly way" of having babies?

So you want to do IVF with PGD( sex selection)?

I don't think anything that is possible is unGodly . I'd say you go for it if that's what your heart desires , it is well.

jidegirl12: So you want to do IVF with PGD( sex selection)?

I don't think anything that is possible is unGodly . I'd say you go for it if that's what your heart desires , it is well.

like bestiality, mass murder, cannibalism, witchery, etc - that those things are possible and happening around us now mean it's Godly?

coogar:

like bestiality, mass murder, cannibalism, witchery, etc - that those things are possible and happening around us now mean it's Godly?

That's my opinion

Mrs mansson: Pls i have a personal issue that is disturbing.my hubby and i planned having 2 or 3 kids.i have a baby girl now and would love to give birth around next year.i need my next babies to be a set of twins(boys) so i know am done with reproducing.anyway i have a history of twins in my family,my late dad was a twin and my paternal grand mum was a twin also.so i contacted a reproductive endocrilogist/gynaecologist in america on how to increase my chances of getting what i need.so its near possible all i have to do is visit with my hubby.now i was just discussing with my mum and my pastor and it lead to me telling her of my plans.all she and my pastor said was that i dont want to have kids through the Godly way rather am putting aLl my trust in a man.they said i have to pray for forgiveness.i have been having deep thoughts since they said that to me.am i really not believing God or not.

My sister, at the root of this, what they really consider ungodly is your 'playing God' (so to speak), by selecting the gender and number of kids you want.

However, we 'play God' in so many generally acceptable ways, every single day, in so many different ways - when we use a condom to prevent conception, when we take a pill to stop a cold, when we decide to have our next pregnancy in 2 years, etc.

Finally, following their argument, you are already doing something ungodly by the mere act of deciding to have your kids next year and not letting God 'decide' for you. I'd suggest you just keep certain decisions between yourself and your husband. There is always someone/people who will find every single thing you do to be ungodly. Trust more in your opinions, and less on those of others.

jidegirl12:

That's my opinion

a privilege you should not abuse......

Richfella:

My sister, at the root of this, what they really consider ungodly is your 'playing God' (so to speak), by selecting the gender and number of kids you want.

However, we 'play God' in so many generally acceptable ways, everyday single, in so many different ways - when we use a condom to prevent conception, when we take a pill to stop a cold, when we decide to have our next pregnancy in 2 years, etc.

Finally, following their argument, you are already doing something ungodly by the mere act of deciding to have your kids next year and not letting God 'decide' for you. I'd suggest you just keep certain decisions between yourself and your husband. There is always someone/people who will find every single thing you do to be ungodly. Trust more in your opinions, and less on those of others.

Excellent answer.


In this situation, I would say go with your personal convictions not someone else's.

coogar:

a privilege you should not abuse......

Educate me pls?

Richfella, I couldn't agree more. Gbam!

Richfella:

My sister, at the root of this, what they really consider ungodly is your 'playing God' (so to speak), by selecting the gender and number of kids you want.

However, we 'play God' in so many generally acceptable ways, everyday single, in so many different ways - when we use a condom to prevent conception, when we take a pill to stop a cold, when we decide to have our next pregnancy in 2 years, etc.

Finally, following their argument, you are already doing something ungodly by the mere act of deciding to have your kids next year and not letting God 'decide' for you. I'd suggest you just keep certain decisions between yourself and your husband. There is always someone/people who will find every single thing you do to be ungodly. Trust more in your opinions, and less on those of others.

Thank you!!!!!

Mrs Manson, I've promised not to intervene to any topic on NL that has to do with 'Family Balancing' ( that's what they call it when you want to do the IVF with PGD , Microsort. etc) because of my own issues with that quoted topic. ( so you know I must have done a lot of research and consult)

That was my first experience on NL and there's no name Jenny didn't call me because the lady said she had 3 csection( all girls) and wanted a boy to balance her family and i suggested the same procedure instead of gambling with trying naturally, i always say whats reality , no beating about the bush.

https://www.nairaland.com/770520/3-caeserian-sections-3-girls/4

I will say this again, my mom always say ( in Yoruba) it's only inside your house you eat a rat with belly button.

Like Richfella said its btw you and your hubby,

if that's your heart desire go for it as long as you're financially fit to care for the child and his future.

@op you have a very interesting case here and while not trying to disregard the write ups of the contributors to your topic,it will be very helpful if the married persons here contribute as they will be in a better position to see and say things clearly.

Before i go contribute proper i want to crave your indulgence to digress a little and that has to with this so called pastors and their un-necessary interferances in people's life. Methinks they are the one playing God with their advices and they gullibles usually accept them thinking it is God using the men of God to talk to them,absolute rubbish.

On a recent visit to the Uk ran into a man we use to attend one of this new generation churches in London together and was surprised when he was telling me that the pastor of the church we both attended in my UK days and who he innocently took his marital matters to for settlement adviced his wife to divorce him,and pronto this stupid benin woman he brought from benin to London and is a British Citizen now without looking back filed for divorce on the ground of mental and emotional torture. Imagine?So my dislikes for pastors is real.

My apologies for deviating and back to you.

If you and your husband have agreed that having kids(twins)via a visit to the reproductive endocrilogist. Then your decision as a couple should be final and be well respected by an outsider.

You owe no body an explanation on what goes on in your marital life.

I have been married for ten years(10)and some change now with 4 daughters and it was just last week me and my wife agreed we too are going to a reproductive endocrilogist for coincidentally, like you too twins and we want boys.

The nature of my job takes me round the world and when i am back home in about 3 weeks will be going on that appointment with my wife and i dont owe anybody any explanation as this is a private matter between me and my wife.

Lastly, and this is very important.

I dont know your age or how long you have been married but the first rule in a marriage is never to discuss your marital matters with an outsider(that will include your mother and father)yes you love her but there comes a time you have to let go and concentrate fully on your family.

There is no such thing as an "UNGODLY" way for couples to have kids.

As my late father always says"ALWAYS DISTRUST ANY MAN THAT MAKES HIS LIVING JUST TALKING"and that will be the pastor.

Go for whatever will bring happiness in your marriage and dont be swayed by the UNGODLY advices of the people of the world.

ileobatojo:

Excellent answer.


In this situation, I would say go with your personal convictions not someone else's.

mmh, people now claim to be spiritual, i mean having the mindset of God, if i may ask what is the Godly way of having children, it's simple after all the consultation at the point of delivery u declare boldly THY WIL BE DONE, letting talks like this get to you is like saying ante natal and immunization is ungodly.

@ sapele it is well ,

I have three girls ( 3 csections) and I've had my everything frozen for over 6 months cos I'm not sure what I want ( cos it's me, my babè is satisfied with his girls),

I don't owe nobody no explanation, my money my decision and good to go whenever I if I want , but I want to take my time.

We're talking about a very sensitive topic cos all genders are special in their own way. But I'm sure you feel me Eh

@jidegirl12 i do agree with you totally if you say your hubby is cool with you having only girls.

But want to talk to you and want you to take it in a mature way.

There is a popular African proverb that goes thus" DREAM NO GET WITNESS"so goes what goes on in the mind of a man.

It took me ten years to eventually tell my wife that i wanted boys as i have been telling her for years that i am very content with just having girls,but deep down in my inner recesses i knew i had always wanted atleast one boy.

And just as you are authoritatively saying now that was how my wife was authoritatively telling her friends and family that i am happy just having only girls. Whatever goes on in your husbands mind is not something you can authoritatively say you know.

I have a friend who has two boys from an African American woman in my city and he is still married to his wife and they live in far away Texas and he always has reasons because of the nature of his business to travel and the wife knows nothing.

She is always doing Thanksgiving in her church and putting their pictures on FB and thanking God always for giving her a UNDERSTANDING husband,only if she knows.

Never underestimate the actions of a man and i am not saying this applies to you,but tread carefully when you authoritatively speak about husbands thinking you know them intoto as that can be a mistake.

To the OP my advice is for you to go for happiness and goodluck.

Ummm so what changed your mind, I guess you can't read people's mind eh, like I mentioned earlier everything is frozen and I even pay mortgage for it every month, I've wanted to talk to somebody about it but I have decided not to except my babè.

Sorry Mrs Mansion, I hope I'm not derailing your thread

@jidegirl12 this is not about you and i but the op so it will be fair we dont derail the thread.

We have both contributed to her topic and given our respectives advices the way we deemed fit and so should let others contribute and hopefully she gains something from everybody's contribution.

But the eventual decision no matter what we say here rest on her and her husband to decide on what they want.

@jidegirl12 is babe the new word for a husband now?i am old school so not in touch with the new terminologies for husbands.

I have contributed my own suggestions to the op and and out now.

Your decison with your hubby @OP is the right one no matter what direction you decide to swing to

okay then....I'm out.

Thanks but i wasnt discussing with them for approval.one thing lead to another and dont even know when i let out some stuffs.

I have twin girls now because i added GOD and science to my quest.

if they claim it ungodly.



there be it. in fact so be it