Today I was digging through tons of email that I received from my Students and royal readers, and I found a question from KC one of my student, that could have a MAJOR IMPACT on *any guy* long-term dating success.

Have a look at the question and my answer, and then let me know what you think:

Fidelis,
Thank you for what you do. Because of you I don't even have to ask girls for their numbers anymore.

I have one question though. This girl I like, we went out to beer parlor the other week.

Well the night went great and I did some of your one step forward/two step back stuff on her and she was giving it back laughing and giggling the whole time.

Now I really like this girl and I don't want to ruin my chance with her, I'd like to make something out of this. I would like some advice from the Big Brother Marc on how to follow up on this one.
KC, Lagos

Okay, First of all, bear in mind that this not the first time I had received this kind of question from guys asking me how to follow up after a first date… and it certainly not going to be the last…

I decided to answer this “Golden” question here because, I know a lot of guys will find it useful…

So are you ready?

Okay, Let’s go…

When it comes to following up after a first date, there's an old saying that holds the whole key...

It sound like something our forefathers might have said back in 1950’s, but stay with me on this...

Here's how it goes:

“If you love something, set it free.”

If it comes back, it's yours forever... or for at least as long as YOU want to have it around.

Okay I’m busted, I added that last part myself.

But the point is...

As simple as it sounds, this “far-back-oldie” couldn't be truer than when it comes to successfully taking things to the "next level after a first date...

The point is, as illogical as it sounds, you have to, knowingly, gently, subtly, skillfully push a woman *away* if you want to make her feel "drawn" to come back for more.

My friend EAZY calls it the… PRINCIPAL THE HOLY GRAIL... the KEY TO IT ALL... the ONLY thing that MATTERS when it comes to success with women and dating...

... And that's creating irresistible feelings of ATTRACTION.

In other words -- NO woman starts to feel attraction for a man who comes across as needy... everything-no-problem-at-all… a pushover... which equal to, a total FOOT-MAT.

The kind of man that women DO feel irresistible attraction for are guys who are confident... in- control... mysterious... a challenge.

Doubt it?

…Thank God this is a forum, so you ask the any girl here… with just a click away…

Anyway…

That in mind... here are my 4 NEVER-FAILS-RULES for keeping things going after the first date and keeping those first feelings of ATTRACTION building in a woman:

NEVER-FAILS-RULES #1: FORGET ABOUT HER

Wait... say what now?

I can hear you say that…

Things just went great on a first date, and now I'm telling you to forget about her?

Well, not really… hear me out first…

Have you watch one of those movies, where a guy takes a girl out on a date… The date went great and at the end of the night he dropped the girl off… kisses her good night… then drove off and never call her for at least a week or two.

What does the girl usual do, when this happens?

Right!

She starts moping around and asking following questions:

Why hasn’t he called me? Didn’t he like me? Didn’t he have a fun when went out? Did I bore him?

You get the picture.

And I don’t have spelled it out for you that this exactly where you want to be.

Here's what I'm saying:

Now more than ever, it's time for you to GET BUSY and stay that way with other things in your OWN life.

Hang with your friends. Start reading a new book. Even better, go out on more dates with OTHER women.

This is the best way, full bar, to amplify any feelings of attraction a woman may have for you after the first date.

And listen, I totally get it...

I understand that most guys first impulse is probably, to make yourself feel more secure by trying to keep this girl safely in sight after beer night... seeing her every day... constantly texting and calling her.

Well, you can go ahead and FORGET IT.

And forget HER, just for the moment.

This is critical:

For the next few weeks, make sure that you do NOT see her more than once or twice a week.

And... if you MUST give in to your "Inner Jibity" (I just made that up, by the way) and call her the next day... always remember:

RULE #2: BE COOL ON THE PHONE

Here's how you do it:

Above all -- make sure you don't come across as overly eager.

You already did some of your best stuff while you were knocking down bottles -- so now's the time to pull back a bit on the humor so it doesn't become "too much."

Don't lay on the “one step back/two steps forward technique” too strong over the phone, where she has no visual cues, and it's far too easy to come across as a jerk.

Also: make sure to avoid another common "Inner Jibity" follow-up phone call mistake... trying to set up another date because you feel so sure she'll never want to see you again if you don't strike while the iron is still hot.

Here's what I suggest:

Call her up and say, "Hey, How are you doing?" Then... bring up about something she said to you last time while drinking... something *SPECIFIC* that makes it clear you were listening and interested in her.

Assuming you was listening to her when she was talking.

Then make a little small talk.

Then hang up.

That's right... you heard me.

HANG UP.

**WITHOUT** asking her to go out again.

The goal here is to keep her thinking about you... which is the #1 most powerful ways to keep ATTRACTION building in any woman.

PERIOD.

By the way...

If you'd like to learn a bazillion OTHER guaranteed ways to keep a woman practically OBSESSING about you after you first meet her, check out the LINK at the end of this article and sign up to receive my Controversial Book "HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN BY BEING A BAD BOY" AND my FREE Newsletters.

When you click it, it'll blow your mind how EASY it is to keep a woman thinking about you after you've just met her...

... to the point of making HER do all the hard work of chasing YOU!

But okay... for now, onto my third NEVER-FAILS-RULES for following up on a first date:

NEVER-FAILS-RULES #3: DON'T TEXT HER

It's a fact of modern life -- nowadays people find it much more easy and "safe" to email and text than to call.

Makes perfect sense... but it's also FAR too easy to let your "inner-child" tendencies to blow up in your face here...

Texting her sends all the wrong signals after a great first date:

1) It tells her that you're insecure and possessive
2) It tells her that you lack the "morale" to call her and talk to her live. (I know... I told you not to call her either, and that still stands.)
3) And worst, it tells her that you don't have a life

Which leads us directly to:

NEVER-FAILS-RULES #4: GET A LIFE!

See a theme developing here?

As I already said a couple times above, it's the WHOLE BALLGAME when it comes to following up on a great first date... and by the way, when it comes to SUCCEEDING WITH WOMEN IN GENERAL...

That's why I gave it its own Rule.

If you have a problem with that, feel free to contact your local NEVER-FAILS-RULES Committee...

But seriously, what I'm trying to say here is this:

Until you've made the decision that you really like a particular woman, it's critical that you don't focus too much energy on her.

I learn this the hard way.

Focus too much energy and time on a woman that you've just been on one or two date with, and it will:

a) Creep them out
b) Then make them start avoiding you
c) Then make them want nothing to do with you.

If these stages of post-first-date failure sound familiar to YOU, then that's a HUGE red flag...

REVIEW NEVER-FAILS-RULES #1, #2, and #3 ABOVE RIGHT NOW.

And remember... they say a watched pot never boils... so keep heating up water in those OTHER pots!

If you're not currently seeing OTHER women, then start getting numbers and dates.

If you need a a lightning-fast, fail-proof primer on how to do it, click the LINK below.

Meanwhile, here's my last suggestion...

Also use this time to discover what you want in life for YOURSELF (that is, besides lots of dates with great women).

Begin to explore the goals, passions and pursuits that make YOU feel fulfilled and excited in life.

Because... before you know what these things are... it's VERY difficult to come across as the kind of confident, passionate, exciting guy that can make a women feel ATTRACTION.

And listen, this doesn't mean you have to "master" all of your passions and dreams...

No one expects you to become the next Bill Gate or Dangote... even Mark Zuckerberg... overnight.

But, at least once you know what your passions are, you can begin transmitting all the right "signals" to a woman... signals that say you HAVE A LIFE and won't be following her around like a LOVESICK Sheep any time soon.

Okay, I think that about covers it.

Bottom line:

Follow these 4 NEVER-FAILS-RULES for following up on a first date, and there's no doubt about it...

*YOU* will become the one in the driver's seat.

*YOU* will be the one who decides when you go out with her again, and how often you see her.

*YOU* will be the one she spends HER time obsessing about (instead of the other way around).

And Best of all:

*YOU* will become the kind of man that OTHER women are fighting over to go out with.

Sound good?

Thought so.

Thanks again for reading.

I feel like I did a lot of good here today... I'll go pat myself on the back for awhile.

See You, When I See You.

Source
http://www.woonaijawomen.com

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Damn this is a long post. Stopped reading after the 3rd sentence...whenever someone reads this post finish, please kindly summarize it. Thank you

That was exhausting, but in a good way. OP made some good points.

thank you poster...
*runs off * I have some wooing to make.

candieangel12: Damn this is a long post. Stopped reading after the 3rd sentence...whenever someone reads this post finish, please kindly summarize it. Thank you

AWWW... But sweerie, you know what they say...

If it ain't long... then it ain't worth it

AM I right? or AM I RIGHT?

uj_sizzle: That was exhausting, but in a good way. OP made some good points.

Thanks babe... New RULE: All posting from the ladies MUST include a picture...

Crown Prince: thank you poster...
*runs off * I have some wooing to make.

De Crown Prince... I Love that name dude.

... well, start wooing away... The world is your oyster.

Shey all these things will work in this country full of hungry girls and shap shap guys. Here a guy asks a girl out cos of what he expects to get from her and she probably said yes in the first place cos of what she was expecting him to do(drop) now or in future. Maybe the OP should create a Nigerian version

All this lengthy process to land a woman? I'll rather expend such energy on making money and living la vida loca.

crap!

why does the genius assume that every girl is the same?

Let me speak for myself.

If the date went really well and we both enjoyed it and the guy behaves like a gentleman, calling me afterwards (a day or two later) or sending a txt msg saying that the time we spent was great and that he would like to see me again, I will feel very happy and it will put a smile on my face. This doesn't mean that he should overdo this and call me like three times every day or send plenty of messages but a nice move is fine and makes me feel more secure in his presence and therefore very comfortable. And this is the way to win my heart.

If on the first day, I already noticed, that he is not my type then there is nothing he or I can do about it.

12 inches!:
All this lengthy process to land a woman? I'll rather expend such energy on making money and living la vida loca.

I perfectly understand.

candieangel12: Damn this is a long post. Stopped reading after the 3rd sentence...whenever someone reads this post finish, please kindly summarize it. Thank you

It says that you have to follow some rules to win a girl.
You have to play the game of gently pushing her away in order to attract her.

Honestly, I don't like the feeling of rejection so this way you mess it up with me.

Games are to be played in the bedroom, not with my mind or my heart

carefreewannabe:

It says that you have to follow some rules to win a girl.
You have to play the game of gently pushing her away in order to attract her.

Honestly, I don't like the feeling of rejection so this way you mess it up with me.

Games are to be played in the bedroom, not with my mind or my heart

All these love games etc D angelo and PUA forums, Art of Seduction etc. Serious bulls.hi.t. I have read them all and I now consider them bull crap. There is no winning formula jare. Some people are just naturally good with women and some people naturally suck. Like me now I naturally suck. No PUA or D angelo or Robert Greene can change that. The only person that comes close to give any reasonable explanation on this is NL's own tai2 world's famous post...

12 inches!:


All these love games etc D angelo and PUA forums, Art of Seduction etc. Serious bulls.hi.t. I have read them all and I now consider them bull crap. There is no winning formula jare. Some people are just naturally good with women and some people naturally suck. Like me now I naturally suck. No PUA or D angelo or Robert Greene can change that. The only person that comes close to give any reasonable explanation on this is NL's own tai2 world's famous post...

Exactly, there is no formula.

carefreewannabe:

Exactly, there is no formula.

Ohh honey, But you don't know how wrong you are...

There are always a formula to everything in Life... I'm going go out the LIMB here and quote one my favorite mentor, DR. SUNNY OJEAGBESE...

The HUGE gap between the RICH AND THE POOR is the... KNOW HOW!

... And that also applies in DATING and WOMEN.

http://www.woonaijawomen.com

bukason1:

Ohh honey, But you don't know how wrong you are...

There are always a formula to everything in Life... I'm going go out the LIMB here and quote one my favorite mentor, DR. SUNNY OJEAGBESE...

... And that also applies in DATING and WOMEN.

http://www.woonaijawomen.com

disagree

carefreewannabe:

disagree

Well then... Let's agree to Disagree...

I want to help the "helpless"... Not the Clueless...

12 inches!:
All this lengthy process to land a woman? I'll rather expend such energy on making money and living la vida loca.

on point mehn,on point