Is it just me, or is it, generally speaking, despite the increasing number of our women (both born and emigrated) in the diaspora, our guys are still going home to get married? Are the women in the diaspora no good? Does that mean our women will then end up marrying foreigners (not that there is anything wrong with that)?

Someone asked me this question during my last visit. In particular he said (I would asssume jokingly), "Y can't you guys just stay over there and marry your girls, thus leaving our girls over here for us?"

What are your thoughts guys (and gals )?

cuz they just use the ones here and go home nad get married to the ones there. one of da reasons been that girls raised back home are more homely and therefore make 'better' wives in African context. Also, they can control those ones etc

i know a friend of mine who was dating this dude here, just recently, da dude went back home and got married

soooo,

basically, what u 2 are saying is that it is a case of "Too hot to hold, Too cold to handle?"

I dont' know actually.

It's said that "most naiaja ladies here don't make good wifes". There's this thing abt Girls that were brought up in nigeria. It's stupid if u ask me. GUys believe that girls at home make better wives. Actually that was in the olden days.

@Hot angel

Took the words out of my mouth. It is really baffling, my friend left a girl in Nigeria for 5yrs almost immediately started dating this girl over here for about 3yrs and he told me he was going to marry the girl in nigeria, but he really liked the girl he was seeing too. Each time i asked why he didnt just leave her alone to find someone else instead of wasting her time, he said he was keeping his options open. It was a really crap thing to do cause this girl loved him. In the end he married the Girl from Nigeria.

Its a good question, i would also like to know if those who go over to marry women over there ,get all they want, i mean do they get disappointed? cause my cousin says girls a kinda similar back there and anywhere else.

Each time i asked why he didnt just leave her alone to find someone else instead of wasting her time, he said he was keeping his options open.

That's called a player. Why some people are most mean to the very people they claim to "love", I will never understand. When i say that "love" is mostly a joke, people call me a cynic.

Its a good question, i would also like to know if those who go over to marry women over there ,get all they want, i mean do they get disappointed? cause my cousin says girls a kind of similar back there and anywhere else.

Our men, don't get it. They actually think that ladies here r more like "gold-diggers" or something, or like, "women that have seen and knows it all". Just cos a woman is for independence doesn't mean she aint a good wife. They wanna go home to meet girls that are spose to be "house-wives", or like they feel girls in nigeria knows nothing abt Being "out there". They r fooling themselves in my opinion.

Naija ladies R smart mehn. Whether in naija or abroad. A Naija girl will still be a naija girl.

Nwoke:

That's called a player. Why some people are most mean to the very people they claim to "love", I will never understand. When i say that "love" is mostly a joke, people call me a cynic.

They dont' count it as being mean. Most people dont even know wat love is.

@nwoke

You are right he was a player, goes to show that some men still think being a player is ok and when a girl does it she's a tramp. You right its mostly a joke, cause people over use the word.

maybe the city girls gave them shit

It is interesting to c the responses.

I no go lie - I went home to marry. But my reason was not to get "house wife" or "slave girl" In my case, though born abroad, I spent 13 yrs in naija and knew the family (we attended the same church) waaaaay before marriage came into the picture. In fact, anytime I visited, prior to showing interest, if I didn't stop by their house for food, I was in trouble. It just felt natural for me to marry from a family I knew well.

Don't get me wrong. I have dated Naijans in america (as well as other nationalities ). For me, it boiled down to who God had for me. So even if she were from Bangladesh, it was all good as long as she was God-fearing and we both loved each other.

Based on the "punishment" I got from US embassy, if I could do it again, I would rather marry from here though and that is what I tell pple who ask me for advice. It is tooo much. Then again, if Jacod could wait 14 years for his bride, what you go through at the US embassy may be worth it

You know, I will speak my mind on this issue
@my2cents: your head is correct!

I dont think i wanna do that, not even to date one whether tokunbo or indegene, I rather go home and marry a good girl.

This is an interesting topic! Our ladies  can even answer all these questions. If you draw the statistics, you will get to know that our ladies raised in the western world get all the cultures upside down, all they say is that "I don't give a Bleep*" which is actually helpin them to go back to church after the age of 30 lookin for that husband God have for them when they've actually lost them all.
Most of them would never be considered for marriage because of their chaotic, unpredictable, non-challant altitute, they pick up the negative parts of western world culture and start using it. I heard of a guy last week that was sent out of his house by his so called Nigerian wife(what will never happened to well brought-up Nigerian girl).
As for me, i can still marry a wife here if she portray a good Nigerian girl with good altitudes not the type of "i don't give a Bleep*".
I don't even think Nigerians in the western world wants to marry Nigerian guy because they believe they will never be free as they want to.
But all still depends on choice, some Nigerians girls thats brought from Nig too mis-behave when they get here, so whats the points?
We should just pray God take control of their life and come back to senses

Marriage being a life long commitment (supposedly), guys would rather expand their choice of women, rather than limit their choice to those available abroad. This is based on the fact that Naija guys prefer to marry Naija women.

As far i'm concerned,i believe all ladies are the same, i mean they all love freedom life. whether the one from Nigeria or America,Europe,Asia or whereso ever they will always wants 2 be free and do things on there own .Actually, i'm still in nija 4 now but i believe i will travel abroad soon, What r u talking about ?, when we have a lot of girls that which are far far better that those in abroad this sentence is weak, pardon me i dont say nigeria girls are bad o,

Talking from another person's experience, A friend of my dad took a lady out of the country 2 the united states believe me after 2yrs she stopped her good behaviour towards her husband because she had been moving with those girls over there, cooking stops,no more watching cloth and plates and nothing her husband will say that will enter her hearing.@ last this man packed out from the house and started living with his friend(thank God there was no kid btw them).According 2 him, he officailly divorced this lady and come back 2 nija, got married 2 a young widow which was his junior back in school after courting 4 several month.But this time around he didn't take this mother of one along with when he was traveling back 2 the state because of the 1st incident,

As 4 me o, I will rather marry here and live here with the kids unless we travel out of the country 4 just vacation and all that, LOV u ALL !!!

All Naija women are not the same, u got that wrong from the very first statement. Many will hate to admit it but our girls at home have a better nurture and attitude when compared with others.
We dont like the lazy 'i cant be bothered' type of ladies that u get every other place. We love our devoted hardworking and respectful women in naija.
A naija man came to where i work to apply for a cleaners job and if u only heard his story, u'd spit and swear for his wife, she got the cops to throw him out for no reason, she took over all his wealth cos the order stopped him from stepping into his house or office - it was pathetic.
Another of my friends just returned from a trip to naija and told me his experience there, he said u wake up to well prepared food everyday, u r treated like a king with smiles all the way and so on, He hated having to return here but had to.

I live abroad at the moment and i don't have 'who cares' attitude, i feel those girls back in naija now do somethings worse than girls abroad. My parents brought me up well and i don't forget who i am. The way guys dresses put some girls off most of the time and if the girl say anything contrary to what guys want to hear, the girl is not a good Nigerian girl. the way you do thing sometimes makes the girl behaves to you a you don't expect. Check yourself.

I am sorry oh but i have never heard so much rubbish under the guise of opinions. A good girl is a good girl no matter where she lives. You can say a Nigerian brought up abroad might not have the same values as one back at home but to say that the girls back at home are "better" is utter nonsense. Why? Girls in naija rely on men for credit, date aristos to buy baffs and visit jand etc. , Girls in jand work for their money to pay phone bills, rent, buy baffs, But still, I would not say that girls abroad are better because as my friend once pointed out, girls in nigeria don't have the opportunity to work and earn money like those here. I studied in Nigeria for a bit and came here to complete my studies. I was not wayward oh but I used to live in a house with alot of girls and boy, i saw things. Men of all sizes and shapes(governors, commisoners etc, )dating girls from supposed good homes. So now one stupid boy would now come and tell me that since I have lived in the UK for some years, those ashewos back home are better than me. God forbid!!!!! Same way there will be some wayward girls in jand but maybe my friends are just good girls, but most of them are shocked at the kind of things that girls back home get up to.

My point: Where a girl lives does not determine whether she would make a good wife or not.

somebody:

My point: Where a girl lives does not determine whether she would make a good wife or not.

I dey for ur back like back bone. U r right!

Naija girls ought to go home and marry instead of sitting on their ass waiting for Mr. Right. Back home, you can even get two for the price of one, just showing up in Naija as an "akata chic".

@ somebody, i feel your point cos you only talk for yourself. Now be truthful and sincere, "who mis-behave the most in those living in Nig and those living abroad?"
Not every girls, i respect some ladies because of thier focus but for you to say that environment has nothin to do with behaviour is not well grounded. Not only for ladies now, even for guys, the only thing that can make environment not to change you is if you are very stubborn and have good goals in your life. Some girls living in Niger are extreemely bad while some brought up in US are good but you need to ask yourself, "why do most Nigerian girls come abroad and change drasically to something very bad"?

2nde:

"why do most Nigerian girls come abroad and change drasically to something very bad"?

what stops the wife you procured from Nigeria coming abroad and changing drastically to something very bad too?

big_bumper:

what stops the wife you procured from Nigeria coming abroad and changing drastically to something very bad too?

Maybe the fact that she is married (hence lifestyle wouldn't be the same as that of a single woman) and in the process of raising a family (priority differ, with a back home mindset).

IBDat:

Maybe the fact that she is married (hence lifestyle wouldn't be the same as that of a single woman) and in the process of raising a family (priority differ, with a back home mindset).

Snake no fit become lizard overnight.

True talk, but this is assuming you married a descent and wholesome one in the first place (Naija girlz aint eazy!) - personally i wouldn't say all Naija women in overseas are not worth marrying but the Nigerian community here in the UK is quite out-going and reputation as well as associations are a factor. Most would prefer to marry an unknown with no blemishes (links with this person and that person, this joint, that club etc). Once married (from back home) this will not be a factor as any sensible (non-snake) wife will not be seen hanging out in joints n clubs, but at parties with her husband, family n friends.

i read what everyone said and most of you made sense, i agree with somebody. most girls in naija pretend, ya there are good ones but most of them are ashies, when you marry them and take them out of the country then you would see their true colors.

But you can't just say women who are abroad, don't make better wives, or that you can't find a good woman here, women are the same everywhere you go, i think its just because men want women that would be their slaves and not stand up to them, ultimately its all about control, they wouldn't want to be with a woman who would challenge their opinons when they feel it is wrong, girls abroad are more knowledgeable annd wouldn't want to be in a controlling relationship, because from experience, Naija men always want to excercise control over everything,(im 23 years old and my dad is still tryingto control my every move, even when im not in naija) as for me, if it ain't gonna be a 50:50 marriage, then why bother. Bible says 2 become one, not one controlling the other.

at the end im going to marry a naija man, who understands that a woman should matter too in a marriage, and her place is not always going to be in the kitchen, i didn't spend 6 years in college n getting a master's degree to become a full house wife eh. im lucky because my guy understands and respects that, i am a great cook, i clean and know how to take care of my man and family, and i am still a virgin, so don't tell me there are no good women abroad.

I dont know why they do cause most of the ones i have heard of dont usually work out.

Cause the gilrs in Nija are soo tough - so o heard.

I havent heard of such marriages working.

From what the girls in the house wrote, how can i marry any of them. many of them smokes(Ciga and weed), they work 19 hours i a day mostly those of them in health care. Anytime i wan marry i dey go niaja and once i don marry am finish 4 obodo oyibo na good bye for abraod, only visit we two go dey come. Experiance is the best teacher my people.

Not even sure why any girl would even care.

If they all want to go back home and marry, na their problem be that.

If those guys had any common sense they'd know the ones who are independent wouldnt be so impressed if another guy with more money came around trying to impress them. The ones in Nigeria, sure they are with you but if another guy from "yankee", she's more likely to leave you as opposed to someone who is used to seeing such things.

so if they want let them go and look for this so called "good" girl. Who cares?

abi o

Red_Lips

if u don't care u will not be writting with vexation, from your post you are not happy, be a goog girl and somebody wil bring liquor to your family. Gaskiya.

Most of the guys who go back are taxi drivers and mental health workers who do three jobs to survive. A guy like that is intimated by well made young girl who is making more than he does by just having one job. They go back home and spread their hard earned dollars knowing very well that the girls will jump up on any dollar bill.

My uncle imported one like that, now not only did the woman openly cheat on him, he was jailed for laying a finger on her. Now she has the house and the kids while he pays child support.

My other uncle went to nigeria and did this very big high class state of the art weddding to this very tall 'sand beautiful out of the world woman. SHE WAS SHOCKED WHEN SHE GOT HERE. Not only were they living with in one room, they were living in his sister house married to my uncle above. can you imagine that.

Most of the time it has to do with self worth. A lot proffesional nigerians marry here. It mostly those mental health workers and taxi drivers who go back home at least from what i've seen and heard.