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Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man - Romance - Nairaland

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Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 2:31am On Aug 08, 2005
Hey y'all,
i just thought i need some advice about this matter because i'm kind of lost on wot to do plus she wouldnt listen to me..

About 2hrs ago..i gat a call from one of my closest friends saying shes having the best summer of her life so i asked her why and how but she told me she snogged an Engaged man 3times, i was kind of horrified because its kind of complicated, i mean the guy loves my friend but hes engaged.

wait..wot should i advice her to do as a friend, i need this advice quick please because she wouldnt listen to me anything i say?

consider this: shes ruining another girl's life by dating her fiance
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by gina34(f): 10:52am On Aug 08, 2005
Nike i must say dat is fair for her to be dating an engaged man.

because she might be ruining the other girls life by dating the man she is engaged to

my advice is for her to stay away from the guy cos she might  think that the guy is in

love with her now but what happens if he goes back to the girl he is engaged to.

so  is better for her to break up with the guy before he brakes up with her.


Thats my opinion
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 11:21am On Aug 08, 2005
Firstly let me ask some important questions, answers of which would determine my opinion.

1. For how long has this your friend known the guy?
2. Is this your friend in anyway related to the guy's fiancee, past or present i.e have they ever met before?
3. How old is she?
4. Does she have any guy in her life right now?
5. What is the guy in question saying about this issue?

Answers to this questions are important. I don't just to run into conclusion without facts.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 11:43am On Aug 08, 2005
o wel...de guys 18 and hes engaged, my friend is 16 and she still goes to skool
she already has a guy in her life but she told me the guy said he couldnt let her go..she treatened de guy a few times but he just kept coming bk again

she known de guy for abt 2weeks now, she likes de guy too but de guy cant just cancel his wedding can he..wel he said he was gonna, gosh i really dont kno any advices anymore so i need help from u guyz
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 12:05pm On Aug 08, 2005
I don't get it. Is it the guy in question that is 18?
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by gina34(f): 2:06pm On Aug 08, 2005
gossssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh Nike , i though they are older.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 3:14pm On Aug 08, 2005
Well, if that's really their age, they're both not serious yet. Marriage is not for kids. Tell them that.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 4:04pm On Aug 08, 2005
wait..dey are dating not getting married
2nd, u can get maried at age u want here so i dunno wot de problem is..she wont listen to me anyways..am i gon watch her ruin sum1elses life or just..oh i dunno
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by Pinky(f): 9:43pm On Aug 08, 2005
DE-KING those kids re serious about getting married o! this is no naija scenario
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 11:14pm On Aug 08, 2005
Nike, i feel u. My friend's friend got married last year. She was 17 and her boyfriend was 19. They r happy together...although i still laugh at them.

I will advice u to tell your friend that she must be sure the guy in question, LOVES her. because if the guy doesn't love her, she will find it hard to believe when he breaks up with her. Do you know the guy?? Does he look like he loves her? What does he tell her he will do with his own girlfriend/fiancee?
Your friend might be in love--- no question about that, but she just has to make sure the guy she loves, feels the same about her.

As a friend, there isn't much u can say to her.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 3:14am On Aug 09, 2005
o god..i hate that guy and i mean detest, but it seem very hard to break them up...wel de guy seems to love her and she does love him but i dont agree to dat relationship anyways..plus, too young but wot can i do
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 4:23am On Aug 09, 2005
hey girl..she ain't young. As long as they love each other...just leave 'em and watch 'em. smiley
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nddy(m): 5:11am On Aug 09, 2005
She is 18 , she knows wat is right for her. i dont get why people are very nosy with other people's business. well if she feels she loves him she should still go out with him. I guess the guy doesnt really like whom he is engaged to.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by Latoya(f): 6:24am On Aug 09, 2005
hot-angel:

hey girl..she ain't young. As long as they love each other...just leave 'em and watch 'em. smiley



Pls advice them Nike,They r too young for engament.Tell them to look before they leap,
marrige isnt what they see in fairy tale movies.Its far from that.Ask them especially your friend to take it easy.
Marrige is forever,engamenat is the start of it.Heartbreak is really BAD.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 6:28am On Aug 09, 2005
Latoya, she already adviced them...(her friend especially)..but it seems the girl isn't willing to leave the guy alone. So all she gotta do is watch her. One word is enough for the wise...if the girl says "i love him" and i want to marry him.biko (please), leave her let her do what she wants. If it turns out to be good.good for her, if it turns out to be bad.. Shebi dem warn her..she's going to be at fault because she was warned.

Oh and they are not too young for engagment..besides her friend ain't engaged to the dude...she's just going out with him..it's the dude that's engaged and Nike's got nuttin to do with him.

And as for marriage not being a fairy tale, I know u r talking about they might have financial problems and all other stuffs. If all these "hardship" in marriages occur..mostly financial and misunderstanding hardship, they can always go for counselling when they have issues..if they have no money, the state or county (i don't mean count[b]r[/b] ) they are in can help them..all they gotta do is go to court and sign papers for family support.

Oh and if everything goes beyond control...Divorce is right there...divorce the guy..just get a pen and sign papers.
The girl should handle her heartbreak..shebi she no wan hear word.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 8:10am On Aug 09, 2005
Huh, hot-angel. Where are you. I mean are you saying they should go ahead? I wouldn't advice that but Nike, tell your friend that you don't see the reason why she should be doing what she's doing.

Nike, ask her this question. If you were the guy's fiancee, how would you feel?

Also remind her that what goes round, comes around. And as one good turn deserves another, so one bad turn.

@ pinky, yes I know but don't forget that b4 you start talking about marriage, you must be emotionally fit.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 8:14am On Aug 09, 2005
Uhmm DE-KING, i m here. I am saying they should go ahead. I give them a green light. The reason why her friend is doing this, is because she feels she's in love.

As for the other girls heart that'll be broken....Nike's friend has a little issue on the case, the bf has more on the case. besides if one door doesn't close, another one won't open.

Emotionally fit you say, f they feel they love each other..they should go ahead..they r fit enough. if they need help, they should contact their county. And if they can't handle whatever it is bugging them after marriage, they should Divorce each other. Jesus... 21st century. Wake up people. rolleyes rolleyes
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by CimonJorr(m): 8:17am On Aug 09, 2005
Before I'd say my piece here..

I need a clarrification on something.. What exactly is "Snogging" ??...

To the best of my knowledge, that is just kissing [we used to call it smooching back in the day.. ] and not sex...

Please, someone should clear the air here..

Then I'll talk..


Saint...
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 8:20am On Aug 09, 2005
snogging is british. Nike has the whole british thing going on with her. wink

snogging means: cuddle and kiss
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 8:28am On Aug 09, 2005
hot-angel, you seem to me a divorce advocate. wel, that's a different topic entirely. My point stil stands. They shouldn't go ahead with it.

hot-angel, feelings are emotions and emotions are unstable so you can't depend on such. Just because you feel you're in love is not enough reason to rush into a relationship.

Take heed lest you fall
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 8:35am On Aug 09, 2005
When u feel you are in love...it's an emotions. What does love needs if not emotions. You love 'em and u feel they can make u happy..biko marry them. Besides ...the question here is not even marriage. She's still "dating" the guy.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by CimonJorr(m): 8:37am On Aug 09, 2005
Thanks love..  grin
I guessed as much..

Now I can speak..

Firstly, there's nothing really that much wrong in kissing.. it's not like they were having sex or worse.. I honestly don't think that just kissing a guy [or snogging] can lead to the guy breaking up with his fiancee.. my own opinion, the girl [Nike4love's friend] is just trying to catch her fun.. but with the wrong person.. If it eventually does happen that they do break up, then.. well.. maybe the couple was just not meant to be...

In my own opinion, getting engaged at 18 is rather young.. they may be physically mature enough for marrige [or copulation rather, since I guess that this may be the main issue leading to the marrige in the first place.. guy says let's get down.. girl says not till I'm married, guy says let's get married.. and u can fill in the gaps..  wink].. Marrige is a serious thing, and the sooner the youths of today [no pun intended..  smiley] realise this, the better the world will be..

And NO.. my Angelina.. Divorce is not always an option.. By His Grace, when I decide to get married, I will NOT divorce.. the marital vows one makes before God and Man clearly state this.. "Through Thick and Thin, For Better For Worse, For Richer For Poorer.. Till Death Do us Part"... When u've sworn to uphold this, one should realise that there is no going back.. it's like having a child... when u've decided to have one, u just cant throw away the baby if u find out that it's not convenient.. or defective.. you're in for the long haul.. whether you like it or not.. we've all seen where this kind of attitude leads.. and we're all witness to the kind of confusion that this has lead to today..  tongue


My two kobo...


Saint...
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 8:42am On Aug 09, 2005
Helloooooooooo, we're talking about dating an engaged man here, not just any guy who wants to have fun.
huh, pachakwarayna (take time ooo) in issues of love.

cimonjorr tell'em.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 2:17pm On Aug 09, 2005
thanks guys...but wel she wont listen and i'm concerned abt de poor gurl's life shes destroying..i wish i could hurt dat guy sumwhere lol but den imma loose a friend
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 2:26pm On Aug 09, 2005
Nikey, i'ld say you've really tried as a friend. If she wants to continue, well it's her wish.
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 2:27pm On Aug 09, 2005
yea..wel if anytin happens to my friend..imma whoop dat guys ass..wel i not gon do it alone
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by DEKING3(m): 3:08pm On Aug 09, 2005
who would you do it with then?
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by CimonJorr(m): 3:22pm On Aug 09, 2005
What's ur grouse with the guy...

What has he done...

If there's anyone you should be angry with, it should be ur friend, for trying to put sand in someone else's garri..

Isn't she the one knowingly getting herself involved with a guy who has a fiancee..
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 3:30pm On Aug 09, 2005
yea wel..if de guy didnt say i love u to her and i'm gonna cancel my wedding, she wouldnt get addicted to him, plus my friend already warned it

so much for being a pastor's son
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by gina34(f): 4:07pm On Aug 09, 2005
Pastors what rolleyes rolleyes
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by nike4luv(f): 5:51pm On Aug 09, 2005
son of the pastor
Re: Dating An Engaged 18-year-old Man by hotangel2(f): 5:56pm On Aug 09, 2005
Pastor's kids are the baddest of all kids. I love pastor's son's. They rock my world.

I already told u to leave 'em and watch 'em.

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