tuns10: @rudysmith
Ure not just being realistic,u mean married couples wl use contraception everyday,like seriously i am not saying they can't use it but dude abeg,it can't be all the time na.
U said pple are searching for dt kind of love,forget o.no be the kind love wey be say there wl be no source of income at all
Just pray u don't find urself in such a situation

Stop thinking about condoms and try 2 open ur mind on the many other ways of contraception that r available on the market.
I am not saying that the situation is great, but I am also *not* saying that there is anything wrong with being broke and marrying someone. They have more chances of making it 2gether than on their own. If he has money 4 only one meal then they share it etc, that would create such a strong bond *coupled with love* that these two will thrive ten fold.

Since all you people don't think that marriage represent the love of one man and a woman, let me ask you this: what does marriage represents 2 u all?

I know what it feels like,being in love,wanting to get married and being jobless.but I was reasonable enough to know dt twas not only about being in love.we waited till he at least got a job before getting married.
Did he have so much:No.
Did he have constant money to at least sustain the both of us:Yes.
Dt is exactly what I am saying.there has to be at least a source of income,or else the quarrel starts some weeks after marriage
Thank God I also got a job some months after marriage but I allowed common sense to take its course and twas not just about love

Double post

tuns10: I know what it feels like,being in love,wanting to get married and being jobless.but I was reasonable enough to know dt twas not only about being in love.we waited till he at least got a job before getting married.
Did he have so much:No.
Did he have constant money to at least sustain the both of us:Yes.
Dt is exactly what I am saying.there has to be at least a source of income,or else the quarrel starts some weeks after marriage
Thank God I also got a job some months after marriage but I allowed common sense to take its course and twas not just about love

care 2 tell us what changes the job brought 2 the table, in terms of loving each other? If u think having no jobs would bring quarrels then that has nothing 2 do with marriage, but all 2 do with *immaturity*, and so 2 immature people shouldn't b together, let alone get married. The source of income will facilitate the good of that union, but if a person is broke and can get food and shelter etc *alone*, then 2 people can join hand and do the same thing together in love/harmony, and married.

:Dude,thot I was supposed to advise the poster.or are u the poster so pls back off

Well, this can only be attainable if friends and family grab n have been proven to be supportive...however, DONT raise any kids unless at least 1 gets somtin tangible.

depends though. if u have wealthy parents, it doesn't really matter.

tuns10: :Dude,thot I was supposed to advise the poster.or are u the poster so pls back off

Sorry, I know my words can b lethal sometimes, backing off.

make dem go learn work

That's just a variant of disaster

I think you have to first define what is unemployed and distinguish between wedding and marriage. It is sad to see many adults wait for someone to hand them a 9 to 5 schedule for them to see themselves as emplopyed and successful. What happens if they both loose them jobs after the marriage? Know of a couple(former bankers) guy lost his job a week after the wedding, lady a month later. Two years on and they dont have the 9 to 5 schedule yet. So what do they do? Break up or brace up?
Some people comenting have never been married so they dont have an idea of what it is.Truth be told, they type of person you wanted to marry when you were twenty will change when you get to thirty, due to exsisting realities, changing priorities and clearer insight.
What should be important is the direction,effort,ability to have a means of existence.
Just my thought and in no way indisputable.

greatgod2012: Do not despise a humble begining.

If d two of them have aspirations, then they have prospects, they also have d right to be in love, but sincerely, i will advise them to wait till either of them of both are gainfully engaged before bringing forth kids.

Let me just ask this simple question, "how does a girl say no on a cold night when the husband is right there with her on the bed"? That being said, in this unemployed and broke marriage children will be born, and do not kid yourself that cds and postinor will do the trick because i can guarantee sperms of nowadays are stronger and have tools. Doubt me? Go ask becky.

ejifranks: is there love without money just an innocent question?

Going by the majority of the posts on page 2, apparently it is forbidden! These people don't realize this mindset is to blame for the current trend in Nigeria where women go after money in marriage and not primarily love. Out here thousands of poor, even unemployed people troop to the courts to get married. During the recession people continued to get married on a regular basis, even though the numbers were down but I guess in Nigeria love had to be put on hold, at least until the recession was over and they were sure they had a guaranteed future(since today's employed couple could become tomorrow's unemployed pair still).

pharuk: <<<<Research has proved that young unemployed couples get married for the following reasons>>>
1. Christian couples are desperate to finally have s£x
2. They believe when they marry, God will provide
3. Family will help out (which is not always the case)
4. We are in love, we can’t wait before God leads us to someone else
5. If i marry, i will be matured and open doors will begin
Disclaimer...
The results from this research is in no way a conclusive evidence that idiots who get married when they have no source of income always survive the first 5 years of marriage

Can you please provide source of the above information cause I am led to believe by my spirit that this one came from your arse and no place good. ROFLMAO!!

tuns10: I know what it feels like,being in love,wanting to get married and being jobless.but I was reasonable enough to know dt twas not only about being in love.we waited till he at least got a job before getting married.
Did he have so much:No.
Did he have constant money to at least sustain the both of us:Yes.
Dt is exactly what I am saying.there has to be at least a source of income,or else the quarrel starts some weeks after marriage
Thank God I also got a job some months after marriage but I allowed common sense to take its course and twas not just about love

God bless you for your common sense.

Sweetcollins: Well, this can only be attainable if friends and family grab n have been proven to be supportive...however, DONT raise any kids unless at least 1 gets somtin tangible.

saxywale: depends though. if u have wealthy parents, it doesn't really matter.

Exactly. If they are comfortable living off their parents for shelter, food and water for as long as it takes then by all means, carry on.

How many women on here would marry a guy without a job

dayokanu: How many women on here would marry a guy without a job

With the prevailing mindset in NIgeria today, why would any of them? Their fathers and mothers probably did just that but with this mindset that no job means no marriage . . . how many of them will know that it is even possible to do that still? Heck, many of them believe that marriage cannot exist without the traditional-money-trip coupled with church/mosque wedding which all require you have money or take out a loan of some kind. You cannot imagine the number of times I have heard people say things like "They are not married yet. All they have done is sign papers at the registry so they can start living together.".

P.S. During the recession, I know of two couples who tied the knot, even though unemployed. Today they are doing better but they chose to sit through the hard times together and it's worked for them so far.

They cn...bt tell dm dy are doin it @ dia own risk

CarmelloANGEL: They cn...bt tell dm dy are doin it @ dia own risk

Isn't Marriage whether to a rich person or between two rich people at the same risk? I mean who is to say that two employed people, after marriage, will remain employed? The recent recession made this a reality for many marriages out there . . many of them still struggling to provide for themselves and their kids with no jobs coming.

Yeah!!!!!!!! unemployed couple, everybody can get married but not everyone will stay married, lack of money will be the number one thing to break the union, unless they must have decided to go into robbing others for the sake of survival, if not they will end up as beggars.

Its not easy o, ask Ene and Chuks of Tinsel. ℓ☺ℓ .

Seriously though, prospective couples, employed or umeployed need to plan their financial futures with alternate plan B's and C's before taking the plunge. A good option always for new couples no matter how cliche If necessary is to stay off having kids for a while. These things work unemployed or not.

ronkebp: Yeah!!!!!!!! unemployed couple, everybody can get married but not everyone will stay married, lack of money will be the number one thing to break the union, unless they must have decided to go into robbing others for the sake of survival, if not they will end up as beggars.

Are all poor people robbing for the sake of survival? There are supposedly more than 50% of Nigerian that could b considered poor, how do they make it? and if what they do is good enough 4 them, why can't it be good enough 4 a newly wedded couple.
Example: a guy is broke, stays in his parents BQ and have a job that gives him just enough 2 buy 3 square meals a day. his gf gets the same from selling pure water. techincally both r poor, but if they join forces 2gether, they can make it work as a unit. 2 is better than one in that instance.

RudySmith:

Are all poor people robbing for the sake of survival? There are supposedly more than 50% of Nigerian that could b considered poor, how do they make it? and if what they do is good enough 4 them, why can't it be good enough 4 a newly wedded couple.
Example: a guy is broke, stays in his parents BQ and have a job that gives him just enough 2 buy 3 square meals a day. his gf gets the same from selling pure water. techincally both r poor, but if they join forces 2gether, they can make it work as a unit. 2 is better than one in that instance.

why would a jobless man and a woman go into "getting married" when they do not have the source of survival? or where would they live.

- is it the love that they shared will put food on the table?
- is it the love that will pay their house rents and bills?
-Is it the love that will buy their personal needs and other stuffs?

now if they have a business or petty trading on the side, then, in that case they are not jobless. they can still survive on that for "awhile". If there is nothing at all to fall on. My dear even the paupers with menial jobs are far better.

ronkebp:

now if they have a business or petty trading on the side, then, in that case they are not jobless. they can still survive on that for "awhile". If there is nothing at all to fall on. My dear even the paupers with menial jobs are far better.

Exactly. It seems some people are not really responding to the OP's question but their own. OP asked about unemployed people (which to me appears to mean zero source of earned income) since he did not mention any source of income or savings.

I doubt there would be much argument if everyone were addressing the exact same question.

@Ronkebp
why would a jobless man and a woman go into "getting married" when they do not have the source of survival? or where would they live.
We r not talking about 2 people begging in the street here, unless this is what u call an unemployed person. Many don't have a job but can survive with occasional jobs and family handouts here and there.

- is it the love that they shared will put food on the table?
if they *don't* get married, will that put food on their table? Married or not, everyone needs 2 put food on their tables, and if they r together, they can share ones meal.

- is it the love that will pay their house rents and bills?
Yes. If they live somewhere now separately, they can now both live together and save on rent/bills.

-Is it the love that will buy their personal needs and other stuffs?
If they can provide 4 such as single then let them share the little they have as married couple. No matter how people want 2 look at it, it is better 2 struggle together than on ur own. Maybe someday *he* can make some money and they share it, and the other day *she* can make some money and they share it. That's what unions are 4, 2 b stronger as a unit.

now if they have a business or petty trading on the side, then, in that case they are not jobless. they can still survive on that for "awhile". If there is nothing at all to fall on. My dear even the paupers with menial jobs are far better.

If they can survive as unemployed singles, meaning they can stay alive, then they surely can do so as a married couple.

victorian: Av seen it happen several times... A mother coming up to plead for money to buy food, drugs or even school fees .... No be today... It happens..and I wonder why create a family with kids , if you can't give them basic needs.. Some Nigerians with the mentality of God will do it, hoping on zero level when it could have been better to work with something credible on ground... Am a realist.. I don't deceive myself that manner falls from heaven.

VERY TRUE.

RudySmith: @Ronkebp
why would a jobless man and a woman go into "getting married" when they do not have the source of survival? or where would they live.
We r not talking about 2 people begging in the street here, unless this is what u call an unemployed person. Many don't have a job but can survive with occasional jobs and family handouts here and there.

- is it the love that they shared will put food on the table?
if they *don't* get married, will that put food on their table? Married or not, everyone needs 2 put food on their tables, and if they r together, they can share ones meal.

- is it the love that will pay their house rents and bills?
Yes. If they live somewhere now separately, they can now both live together and save on rent/bills.

-Is it the love that will buy their personal needs and other stuffs?
If they can provide 4 such as single then let them share the little they have as married couple. No matter how people want 2 look at it, it is better 2 struggle together than on ur own. Maybe someday *he* can make some money and they share it, and the other day *she* can make some money and they share it. That's what unions are 4, 2 b stronger as a unit.

now if they have a business or petty trading on the side, then, in that case they are not jobless. they can still survive on that for "awhile". If there is nothing at all to fall on. My dear even the paupers with menial jobs are far better.

If they can survive as unemployed singles, meaning they can stay alive, then they surely can do so as a married couple.

What have you said so far? are you saying you support unemployed, jobless persons to get married? if you do, no problem no one is arguing that with you, you have your reasons. Likewise, i have my reasons not to support it. I hope that is clearer now. I don't have the strength to go back and forth for now.

Single Unemployed Man
* Has no source of survival but is still alive
* Has love for a woman and hope for a job in the future
* Finds it hard to put food on the table
* Currently finds it hard to pay rent
* Finds it hard to purchase personal needs and other stuff
* Is not impotent and can father children with unemployed women if he wants

Single Unemployed Woman
* Has no source of survival but is still alive
* Has love for a man and hope for a job in the future
* Finds it hard to put food on the table
* Currently finds it hard to pay rent
* Finds it hard to purchase personal needs and other stuff
* Has a womb and can have a kid even as a single woman


Married Uemployed Man and Woman
* Together they still have no source of survival
* Together they both have love for each other and hope for jobs in the future
* Both find it hard to get food on the table
* Both Currently find it hard to pay rent
* Both still find it hard to purchase personal needs and other stuff
* Both can have kids if they chose


So, someone tell me why we are to believe that the situation after marriage is far WORSE than the situation, before marriage, for each of the two? If they were already, for lack of a better word, miserable as single individuals,why are we to believe that marriage will make their case worse?

^^^^ that is the €€€ million question.

I think the first question that should be answered is, what percentage of single, unemployed people (especially women) in Nigeria pay rent or have to put their own food on the table? This same Nigeria where the norm is to live with your parents/family members till you get married?

The next question would be, after marriage, what percentage of society believes that the right thing for a married couple to do is to live off their parents vs now taking responsibility for their new family? (to be clear, I didn't say parents don't do it. I'm saying, what proportion love to do it?)

TroGunn:

Can't fault people who earnestly try to live by God's standards.. With a bit of practical sensibility, they can work thru it. Being unemployed and having se.x here and there is no guarantee of a job or stable future.

God have mercy on us . . . so a man who finds himself unemployed should stop having sex?? KAi!!!