maygah: I might be wrong , but this I have observed. I have heard guys talk wrongly about girls who already have a child. U hear them call this girls all sort of names like AFTER ONE etc. I have also observe that they are most times not taking seriously in the relationship , even when they put in their best. I have also heard and seen few of them end up with mostly men who have been married before , divorcy or widowers. Why is this so and can't they be seen like other normal girls and be married to ?

Op, ar u a member of single mother,

mondi_cheeks: so a man has the right to judge a woman for her mistakes or something that happened to her that was beyond her control, but the same man can safely declare that only God can judge him

once a female has decided that she is going to be unreasonable and illogical there is no point arguing with her.

You are a woman not a baby. The decision to have a child was fully in your control... grow up.

pleep: once a female has decided that she is going to be unreasonable and illogical there is no point arguing with her.

You are a woman not a child. The decision to have a child was fully in your control... grow up.

poster@mondi_cheeks : The decision to have sex outside marriage remains solely and ONLY yours. Please deal with it and accept it as part of the lessons you will learn in life.

SELFWORTH:

Meaning ?

u reason like a child. Having a child outside marriage has never affected a woman's capability to be a good wife or girlfriend, labeling her before you even know her is simply childish. My father married my mother when she had twins as a result of rape in her teenage years. He took the twins like his own and now they are married, he adores his grandchildren from the twins, they turned out to be so beautiful and successful. A real man sees beyond what is considered perfection by society. My mother is an amazing woman, she loves her husband dearly and she has been through thick and thin with him. The fact that she had children at 19 never affected her capability of being a supportive, faithful and loyal wife.

mondi_cheeks: u reason like a child. Having a child outside marriage has never affected a woman's capability to be a good wife or girlfriend, labeling her before you even know her is simply childish. My father married my mother when she had twins as a result of rape in her teenage years. He took the twins like his own and now they are married, he adores his grandchildren from the twins, they turned out to be so beautiful and successful. A real man sees beyond what is considered perfection by society. My mother is an amazing woman, she loves her husband dearly and she has been through thick and thin with him. The fact that she had children at 19 never affected her capability of being a supportive, faithful and loyal wife.

Rape is an unusual circumstance, and is not the womans fault at all. But you have to realize that 99.999 of single mothers are that way because of decisions they made. The fact that your mother was the rare exception does not negate the rule.

Why should the single mothers give a fvcck about shitholes, don't she have better things to worry her head about?

cowgurl: Why should the single mothers give a fvcck about shitholes, don't she have better things to worry her head about?

Like raising her kids. Good point

mondi_cheeks: u reason like a child. Having a child outside marriage has never affected a woman's capability to be a good wife or girlfriend, labeling her before you even know her is simply childish. My father married my mother when she had twins as a result of rape in her teenage years. He took the twins like his own and now they are married, he adores his grandchildren from the twins, they turned out to be so beautiful and successful. A real man sees beyond what is considered perfection by society. My mother is an amazing woman, she loves her husband dearly and she has been through thick and thin with him. The fact that she had children at 19 never affected her capability of being a supportive, faithful and loyal wife.

I will ignore your insults because it is meaningless to me. please go and read my postings again. You are not quoting any of my comments but probably quoting the father of your child.

Your values are questionable as a woman.

If you continue to sleep around don't blame men for treating you like a dog. Blame your own weakness and inability to respect yourself and your body.

SELFWORTH:
If you continue to sleep around don't blame men for treating you like a dog. Blame your own weakness and inability to respect yourself and your body.

since u were talking about the holy life so much, does the same bible not say do not judge, if u know u have sinned Urself? U want to get all holy and hypocritical at the same time, lmao. Your reasoning is also questionable as a male

pleep: Rape is an unusual circumstance, and is not the womans fault at all. But you have to realize that 99.999 of single mothers are that way because of decisions they made. The fact that your mother was the rare exception does not negate the rule.

negate rule of of lack of reasoning logically? Being prejudious, yet not wanting to be judged for ur own errors? So explain to me if it's all about choices, why do men get emotional when a woman finds him unsuitable because he isn't rich. The same people who show no loyalty to a woman because of her past expect to be shown loyalty when he is broke? horse crap

mondi_cheeks: since u were talking about the holy life so much, does the same bible not say do not judge, if u know u have sinned Urself? U want to get all holy and hypocritical at the same time, lmao. Your reasoning is also questionable as a male

No one is judging you.

By the sound of it, you are your own biggest critic. No one needs to judge you. You are doing a good job of that already .

Poster@pleep is right. Your comments are best ignored because its pointless wasting time on you as your mindset is fixed .

Keep living life blaming others for your own ignorance and mistakes. If you are looking for a change look into your mirror first and there lies your answer.

RudySmith:

What u wrote above is very very childish. Instead of being happy 4 the child that u would surely call ur own by then, u r here focussing on your own egotistic issues. What's the big deal if ur wife and the child's father r the main focus during that one day? Hopefully u will have ur own children with this woman and can celebrate their marriage 2.

I think u need training on areguement. Who are u to say my reason is childish? I have given some of my reasons, you say your own. Why should somebody who has his own wife from no where become the husband to my wife because of their mistake of over 25 yrs ago? Why shld I cater for his own child that he left out of his irresponsibility? If u can, i cannot. So let the parents train their children well, pray for them, councel them, especially female children. The moment u have a child outside wedlock weather in Nigeria or abroad, your value has fallen,if u like be Chelsea Clinton, u are at the mercy of guys.Even women talking here will forbid their children from marrying simgle

pleep: once a female has decided that she is going to be unreasonable and illogical there is no point arguing with her.

You are a woman not a baby. The decision to have a child was fully in your control... grow up.

So fcking well said.



I never believed this stuff she said earlier, not even for a second. I can bet you she would hardly consider marrying a single father talkless of doing it.

mondi_cheeks: I wouldn't mind. Women are mature enough to understand that his child can never stop her from loving and sharing a happy life with him ans it wld be good for tht child to grow up in a home where the parental figures are living together too. We stil have mature pple who think and reason beyond ur level

SELFWORTH:

No one is judging you.

By the sound of it, you are your own biggest critic. No one needs to judge you. You are doing a good job of that already .

Poster@pleep is right. Your comments are best ignored because its pointless wasting time on you as your mindset is fixed .

Keep living life blaming others for your own ignorance and mistakes. If you are looking for a change look into your mirror first and there lies your answer.

how am I the biggest critique when u are the one who started getting a holy and ended up saying, " don't blame men for treating u like a dog" how in the hell is that not the most hypocritical thing a person can say after talking about living a holy life. So it's a woman's duty to live a holy life and a man's duty to be irresponsible, hypocritical and judgemental See another human beings fault and yet fails to see his own and acknowledge them? Real man can bring the best out of any woman they don't scorn her....they bring positive change, they don't become hypocritical about it

Sagamite:

So fcking well said.



I never believed this stuff she said earlier, not even for a second. I can bet you she would hardly consider marrying a single father talkless of doing it.

I have dated a single father before and I found nothing wrong wit him having a child. I understood that he was young and he made irrational decisions. I was with him because of the future I wanted to share with him, Not because he wasn't a saint in his past

pleep: once a female has decided that she is going to be unreasonable and illogical there is no point arguing with her.

You are a woman not a baby. The decision to have a child was fully in your control... grow up.

I have grown up...well enough to know that I shud never focus on a person's past..stuff happens and it can never be changed...focus on the future because that's what's important. Only a grown up person would understand that. Juveniles are too focused on the past that they fail to see the future and the joys it can bring. My dear a logical person sees beyond past mistakes, those mistakes don't determine what the future will be like

mondi_cheeks: negate rule of of lack of reasoning logically? Being prejudious, yet not wanting to be judged for ur own errors? So explain to me if it's all about choices, why do men get emotional when a woman finds him unsuitable because he isn't rich. The same people who show no loyalty to a woman because of her past expect to be shown loyalty when he is broke? horse crap

Men can complain till the cows come home but that wont change the fact that ladies like rich dudes. We have learned to deal with that, its just another motivation to get rich.

Dudes should be allowed to have standards too.. aren't you glad we don't require you to drive a corvette and take us to nice resturants every weekend?

mondi_cheeks: I have grown up...well enough to know that I shud never focus on a person's past..stuff happens and it can never be changed...focus on the future because that's what's important. Only a grown up person would understand that. Juveniles are too focused on the past that they fail to see the future and the joys it can bring. My dear a logical person sees beyond past mistakes, those mistakes don't determine what the future will be like

You are missing the point. What is illogical is the fact that you believe your situation is unfair, i'm just telling you that it is not.

mondi_cheeks: I have dated a single father before and I found nothing wrong wit him having a child. I understood that he was young and he made irrational decisions. I was with him because of the future I wanted to share with him, Not because he wasn't a saint in his past

Would you date a dwarf?

mondi_cheeks: so it's her fault that someone committed a sin with her. The guy goes free and the woman takes all the blame I don't remember the bible encouraging men to be irresponsible though

When issues like this arise, women are always at the receiving end of it all.

Whether in the labour room, on the abortion table or as a single mother, a woman bears the pain and brunt of unprotected sexx all the time.

Its a responsibilty women have to bear.
That's why y'all need to think twice before you unzip...

pleep: Men can complain till the cows come home but that wont change the fact that ladies like rich dudes. We have learned to deal with that, its just another motivation to get rich.

Dudes should be allowed to have standards too.. aren't you glad we don't require you to drive a corvette and take us to nice resturants every weekend?

You are missing the point. What is illogical is the fact that you believe your situation is unfair, i'm just telling you that it is not.

how is a convertible car a requirement, for a guy? I can afford taking myself out for dinner,why should I wait for another man to it for me? Just because u have been around woman that expect a whole lot they can't give back in return,doesn't mean every woman is like that. And jus because a woman had an extra-marital child does not mean should be valued less...don't prejudge...if don't take the time to find a woman with the right qualities u will always think that big butt and pretty face is all there is to a woman. Material possession can attract a woman but once she finds better, she will leave quicker than she came into ur life. My point being u base ur decisions and opinions on trivial things. I said u are not being logical because u value a woman according to her past choices or mistakes instead of a bright and happy future she is capable of providing for

mondi_cheeks: A Stupid man focuses on a girl's mistake and forget the shitload hey did in his own past. He probably made a couple of women mothers and a few other abort. The value of a woman is not measured by the mistakes she made in the past but what she is willing to have and maintain a healthy relationship with a man she loves. I don't see anything with ending up with a divorcee because the are human too and they probably have more insight about what not to do in marriage

SECONDED!!!

.

mondi_cheeks:
how is a convertible car a requirement, for a guy? I can afford taking myself out for dinner,why should I wait for another man to it for me? Just because u have been around woman that expect a whole lot they can't give back in return,doesn't mean every woman is like that.

Do you know what exaggeration is? I did not mean having a corvette is a literal requirement for a guy... why do i have to spell this out to you?

And jus because a woman had an extra-marital child does not mean should be valued less...don't prejudge...if don't take the time to find a woman with the right qualities u will always think that big butt and pretty face is all there is to a woman.

I didn't say she should be valued less, but she is less desirable for dating. Just like a millionare man is more desirable than a bum. The bum could be the nicest man in the world but is doesn't change the fact that his financial status makes him less appealing to women. Men can accept this and that is why we take the steps to get more money. Everyone has the right to standards and it is time you ladies learned that.

I'm personally not at a stage in my life were money is terribly important to females... but i know it will be in the future. Instead of complaining about it i'm taking the steps required to be financially stable. Just like the responsible ladies are taking the steps necessary to remain childless.

And i have to reiterate to you guys... nothing about this is unfair. If you didn't want custody of your kids you could have given them to the father when you divorced. You should be happy that the law gives you the right to keep your children, but you need to remember that being a parent requires sacrifices.

pleep: Do you know what exaggeration is? i did not mean having a corvette is a literal requirement for a guy... why do i have to spell this out to people?

I didn't say she should be valued less, but she is less desireable for dating. just like a millionare is more desireable than a bum. The bum could be the nicest man in the world but is doesn't change the fact that his financial status makes him less appealing to women. Men can accept this and that is why we take the steps to get more money. Everyone has the right to standards and it is time you ladies learned that.

I'm personally not at a stage in my life were money is terribly important to females... but i know it will be in the future. Instead of complaining about it i'm taking the steps required to be rich. Just like the responsible ladies are taking the steps neccesary to remain childless.

And i have to reiterate to you guys... nothing about this is unfair. If you didn't want custody of your kids you could have given them to the father when you divorced. You should be happy that the law gives you the right to keep your children, but you need to remember that being a parent requires sacrifices.

u have some valid points bro!!

RudySmith:

If u think that a single mother is a lady who did a MISTAKE then u r part of the problem here. There is nothing wrong with a single mother, she is just someone that chose 2 live her life differently than most, but calling that a *mistake* is wrong wrong wrong.

I gbadun una

pleep: Do you know what exaggeration is? I did not mean having a corvette is a literal requirement for a guy... why do i have to spell this out to you?

I didn't say she should be valued less, but she is less desirable for dating. Just like a millionare man is more desirable than a bum. The bum could be the nicest man in the world but is doesn't change the fact that his financial status makes him less appealing to women. Men can accept this and that is why we take the steps to get more money. Everyone has the right to standards and it is time you ladies learned that.

I'm personally not at a stage in my life were money is terribly important to females... but i know it will be in the future. Instead of complaining about it i'm taking the steps required to be financially stable. Just like the responsible ladies are taking the steps necessary to remain childless.

And i have to reiterate to you guys... nothing about this is unfair. If you didn't want custody of your kids you could have given them to the father when you divorced. You should be happy that the law gives you the right to keep your children, but you need to remember that being a parent requires sacrifices.

U r judging a person based on trivial things that lead most of yall into fvcked up marriages that's what I'm saying. U spend so much time focusing on things that are less important. I know a guy who ditched his gf because she had a miscarriage. he had impregnanted another girl on the side. he went on to marry the side-chick because he thought that his real gf myt have a problem wit carrying a child again. Funny thing is the other gf was promiscuous but he has no knowledge of it. She only told him she was pergnant after 5months...probably stil trying to figure out who in the hell was responsible... Lucky enough the child looks a whole lot like his mother so he may never know if the child is truly his or not. That's what yall want right? What seems perfect before the eyes, that's all

.

E_KARO: don't know why maybe because men are egoist

and yet the same men have gone to make the world's most dumbest decisions because of their egos ...for instance the Cold War...it was a battle of ego nd need of superiority rather than a conflict in ideologies. All created by man with big egos

.

E_KARO: answer the question above ^^

I don't have a child outside of wedlock

AyaSammy:

And who says that your socalld first child is truly ur first, after how many abortions, hissssssss

do i know u?

kumbalo:
this is just the mentalty of an avereage nigerian

cos we have morals!