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Pls Advice Me I Am Confused - Family - Nairaland

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Please Save Me From Myself, My Husband Cheated On Me, I Tried To Kill Myself / Please Help Me,am Confused, Depressed.i Dnt Have Anyone To Talk To / Please Help Me,am Confused, Depressed.i Dnt Have Anyone To Talk To (2) (3) (4)

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Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 8:05am On Dec 01, 2012
Pls my pple in the house kindly drop ur advice on what to do,it happen that my dad get married to my mum and gave birth to two of us along the line the family got broke during ife modakeke crisis cos my dad is from ife y mum is from modakeke during dis crisis i was taken to ife to stay with my fathers elder brother,dis man maltreated me to d extend that both him and her wife feed me on there left over food, i must to wait till dey finish eaten before i ll eat the rest i dont knw if is due to there childless i left there place and flee back to my parent bt to my surprise i got home and fond that my dad has sent my mum out of the house and took another wife,i stay in d house for some days before my father's brother come back again and said i shld return to him or i sld go to my mum, i agreed to go and look for my mum and he said i musnt come back to my dad again i accept,my mum tried all am saying i was in pry 6 by then and my mum took it from there till were i am today.
some yrs after my father took away my sister from my mum and promise my mum she ll neva ce her again bt blood is ticker dan water for almost 8yrs mum and her daughter doesnt ce each other until wen she gain admission,she almost spent have of her brake wit is mum before going to his dad,2009 my pastor settle d matter between me and my dad and my dad said i must go and meet is brother and apologise bt on getting to his brother he chased me out of his house and promise to arrest me with police that i came to bugle d house i av to take bike instantly before pple started gathering together he promise to deal with me and my mum physicaly and spiritualy which he did bt the lord did not forsake us,i call my dad to inform him bt he did not alter a single word which since then i didnt bother my self to call him or go to him again,it now happen that my sister is about to wed maybe late next year,my dad reside in ibadan why his brother stays in ife,my dad now called my that d wedding ll not hold in ibadan but his brother house in ife,i told my mum bt she refuse,she said she ll nt attend the wedding if it ll take place in ife that if i also attend d wedding @ ife and anything happens after she ll disown me,she as call my sister husband to inform him dat she ll nt be there bt she ll b @ church on sunday for the wedding thanksgiving @ ibadan and d man agreed bt my sister is nt happy @ dis and i love her so much her happiness is mine pls what can i do i dont knw my fathers & his brother's plan and my mum is all i av after my creator she is the nxt lord to me she suffer alot for me pls ur advice
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 8:08am On Dec 01, 2012
Pls dere may be some mistake in d typing jst bear with me.......waiting for ur advice.....kini kinse?
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Bacteriocin(m): 8:18am On Dec 01, 2012
If your sister could prioritise your dad by doing her wedding there, follow your mum!
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 8:47am On Dec 01, 2012
Thanks have discus it with her but she said she is afraid of her dad and his wife,that it seems they dont want her mum there cos dat second wife has been preparing as if she is her mother
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 8:50am On Dec 01, 2012
More to come pls
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Nobody: 8:51am On Dec 01, 2012
u would hardly get solutions here wit this kind of story without punctuations.
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by mkoabiola: 8:53am On Dec 01, 2012
Go and tell d elders who will talk to ur fada,it is beta she do d weedding @ib.where ur mum reside.
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by slimyem: 8:56am On Dec 01, 2012
You are not the one wedding here...its your sister!
...and as she has agreed to the terms and conditions your dad gave,yourself and mum cannot do so much about it.
If your mum insists she won't be there,and your sister doesnt mind,then fine!
Its a one or two-day event.do what you have to do for your sister and move on with your life!!
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 9:04am On Dec 01, 2012
She disagreed but her husband seems to agree,he as been to dis man and he explained hw dis man treated him badly,d guy himself said he prefer ib to ife, bt he as no choice
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 9:07am On Dec 01, 2012
Thanks to all that contrubuted to dis may gud God be wit u and ur family.........Amen
more plsssssssssss
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Dsage1: 10:36am On Dec 01, 2012
Man, stop giving yourself unnecessary headache. IFE or IB,what important is a successful marriage. May I ask you these;

Did your father live in a rented house in Ib?

What's the present relationship btw ur sister, your father and your step mother?

Do you believes something terrible may happen to your sister if the wedding takes place in Ife.

Hope ur mother has not done somtin terrible to ur dad and his brother before broke off.
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 8:06pm On Dec 02, 2012
Tanks my man my dad has is own personal house in ib,noting ll happen to her if d wedding takes place @ ife
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Lasinoh: 8:25pm On Dec 02, 2012
You need to respect your mom's feelings being the aggrieved party in all this.
I am sure your sister will understand.
After your sister gets married. . . .you can visit her with your mom.
For now, it is in everyone's interest to keep your mom and dad's brother apart.
Then you need to seriously face your life and allow others to carry their own crosses!
Your sister unfortunately, has been exposed to all this drama which might be the downfall of her own marriage.
It is a pity your dad is an 'unprintable expletive'!
But I am not surprised though. A new poohsie can turn a Nigerian man's head 360 degrees without exorcizing him of the slightest madness. cheesy
Real men are 'self-made'. . . not born.
Goodluck! kiss

Just out of curiousity. . .WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR CONFUSION ALL ABOUT? undecided

1 Like

Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Kobojunkie: 8:33pm On Dec 02, 2012
@Poster, I have questions


a) Why is your Dad and his Brother making the decision on where the wedding holds? Where is your sister and her future husband in this?

b) How old are you? I ask cause I wonder why someone who is older should stick be stuck in the ruts of the past and all the baggage it came with? I am guessing you are past 20 now, and so you can easily accept what happened in the past happened as it did and choose instead to move on to make your future better, and this will involve making sure that all those that had a hand in destroying the past don't get the same power to continue to ruin your present and your future.

c) Na Ibadan/Oyo all of una still dey even to this day?
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 9:11pm On Dec 02, 2012
@ Lisnoh thanks what am confused about is if i shld follow my mum advice or do my own wish
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 9:21pm On Dec 02, 2012
[quote author=Kobojunkie]@Poster, I have questions


a) Why is your Dad and his Brother making the decision on where the wedding holds? Where is your sister and her future husband in this?=I just dont knw,my sister wasnt there and she plead to him to pls allow d event take place @ ib bt he refused to listen to her

b) How old are you? I ask cause I wonder why someone who is older should stick be stuck in the ruts of the past and all the baggage it came with? I am guessing you are past 20 now, and so you can easily accept what happened in the past happened as it did and choose instead to move on to make your future better, and this will involve making sure that all those that had a hand in destroying the past don't get the same power to continue to ruin your present and your future.=going to 30

c) Na Ibadan/Oyo all of una still dey even to this day?=i don relocate my mum to osogbo where i stay
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Kobojunkie: 9:30pm On Dec 02, 2012
About the wedding, ideally your sister and her husband are the ones who should be making the decision on where it should hold, not your dad. That your sister is asking, no begging your dad to let it hold where he wants leads me to believe that this is all being created by her, and her hubby. If they put their foot down on a location, I doubt your dad and your mum would be at this again.

You are going on 30, really? And you are still allowing these old people(yes they are elderly but they had their chance and chose to make damaging decision out of selfish desires) to upset your reality? Abeg, take control of the situation o'jare. Tell them old foggies'(not trying to be disrespectful but really they are old foggies who have been allowed to do too much damage already) to go sit down make the young ones make the decisions now. I mean they already created such a mess of your lives for so long. Really, why let them continue?

Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I would heal my heart, ignore them old foggies, and chart the direction for my own life the way I feel is best. I would advise my sister to stop causing problems by not making her own decisions and demand that she decide with her husband-to-be where she wants to wedding to hold, preferable far away from commotion zones so all in the family can have peace of mind.

Matter of fact, I live my life that way. I have ignored the sorrows and the mistakes made by the old people in my life and have since taken hold of the reigns to decide what path my life will take. I do listen to what the older generation has to say but at the end of the day, it is what I decide that will prevail, not what they say or desire. Afterall, I am the one who will bear the consequences of whatever decisions are made, and so it makes sense that I make the decisions for myself 100% of the time. I love my parents but this is my life and I will be the one to bear it all.
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 9:42pm On Dec 02, 2012
@ kobojunkie, thanks my man, i am gratefull may God grant the desire of ur hearth......Amen
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Lasinoh: 9:49pm On Dec 02, 2012
richmans: @ Lisnoh thanks what am confused about is if i shld follow my mum advice or do my own wish

How old are you?
Your mother or your father? Who seems to be the MORE reasonable adult?
You are older than your sister for sure.
I don't think you should be confused about decisions that CONCERN YOUR WELFARE!
The so-called 'father' who ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR MOTHER to go and chase/marry another woman. . . and while alive, could sleep at night while you were doing 'boy-boy' with his hateful brother should be the LEAST of your considerations!


Let us hope he did not take your sister in 'just to entertain his sick desires'! I will not be leaving anything 'female' alone with him for sure. . . for he has proven he cannot be trusted to keep his zipper up and closed! kiss
That your sister needs to see a 'shrink' to make sure she is not suffer from 'abuse'. . .I am concerned about her welbeing. This hush-hush marriage smacks of doom! Something is NOT QUITE RIGHT!
For a father to take in a 'daughter' and abandon a 'son' is quite disturbing!
This your family na wah!
Goodluck sha! kiss
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by richmans(m): 9:58pm On Dec 02, 2012
Quet 1 =I am 27 by nxt year january i ll be 28,quest 2= my mum
Re: Pls Advice Me I Am Confused by Lasinoh: 10:00pm On Dec 02, 2012
richmans: Quet 1 =I am 27 by nxt year january i ll be 28,quest 2= my mum

Good!
You are an adult. Start acting like one. kiss
Your father and his brother ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED!
You better heed your mom's advice.
I really do not understand your fascination with people who cause you grief. IS LOVE BY FORCE? undecided
Let the wedding take place. . . Then go and visit your sister with your mom AFTER THE WEDDING!
Period.

Your sister may have a lot to share with you both AT THE RIGHT TIME! Her being raised by your father may not have been in HER BEST INTEREST. Sorry to state. . . but just the facts!kiss

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