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Well,if you sure he loves you,then I see no reason why you shouldnt get married to him since you love him too and he has assured you he is just taking his baby,not the mother(besided he was honest enough to tell you and infact he was scared telling you which shows that he has a lot of respect for you).

if you are ready to deal with emotional baggage sure why not but remember the baby mama will always be in the picture can you deal with that, and hhow sure is he in terms of his emotional attachment to the baby mama, he could wake up one day and decide that he might marry the baby mama in the best interest for the kid. so if you are ready for all those dramas then sure go ahead, but i think its easier to just start a new relationship and save yourself some stress, what if the woman is your typical Nollywood jazz lady and bring nothing but chaos. just a thot

Op it all depends on hw tolerant u re and hw sure u re of his luv 4 u coz by default u re d 2nd woman in his life.
By the way,is d woman still interested in him?what's d reaction of his family and friend toward d woman?

Wow!!! OP, there is a 50/50 possibility that the guy in question may still turn around and date his baby mama in future or even marry her, just for the sake of his daughter. So like pcguru said, if u can put up with all this drama when it finally comes, fine! But if u cant, kiss him goodbye.

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carry out all the neccessary checks to confirm he is not traditionally or legally married to the woman.

sis not wrong to be a step mum in this kind situation,it happen before he meet u,dnt be confused just watch ur man movement know if his tellin u the truth,accept and treat her as ur only daughter

poster

i dont see what the issue is besides you not wanting to be with someone who already has a kid. if being with someone who doesn't have a kid is that important to you then leave. The guy didn't cheat on you and you have only been together for 5 months.

All i will say to you is DON'T be the reason why he abandon his child. By the way is the child's mother staying in the country?

If he truely loves you and you had a child, I guess he will take the child as he's.
Do thesame.

OP
RUN as far/fast as u can bcuz this guy is nothing but trouble, and the answer is right there below in bold:

Cutejay: as for the woman being still interested in him,he didnt say but what he told me was that since she came back from the states she has become wild i.e she drinks to stupor,smokes and doesnt care about the child and that he cnt marry such a woman. He said his family wants only the baby and not the woman cuz i asked him all these questions. Anyways thanks for the advice i'll just wait and see what happens!

What he *should* have said was that he couldn't marry her bcuz he LOVED U. Instead he simply told u *in Chinese* that if she was acting right and proper he would consider marrying her. That says a lot about how he feels about u, better think about that very seriously.

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Op has he introduced u to any of its family or friends?if nt u ve to start ur own investigation b4 u invest so much in dis relationship.

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I always wonder how people approach such issues.
If you are dating a man with child,take time to understand him first.I mean you are getting involved with an adult.The others in his life can only become a source of trouble if the man or woman fails to handle them properly.Can you call him responsible?
I will never look at any man's child as baggage.Who knows if I will drop dead tomorrow and leave my kids to be called baggage by another woman?
Are you capable of playing mother to another woman's child? If you cannot please step out fast.
Stop worrying about the other woman or child and worry more about the man.If he's serious then just listen to him and take it a step at a time.No rush.
See how he handles you, the other woman and the kid.It will give you clues as to where his priority is.
And fyi many single Dad's in my opinion make the most amazing husbands.
Kid's are God's,not some bad omen.

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Cutejay: as for being responsible i will say he is very responsible based on my observations cuz i study peoples character a lot,cuz i feel "character is what makes a man and shows who a person really is" i'm taking my time on this issue so i don't make a mistake. Thanks very much for the advice.

you'd be shocked how humans go the extra length to lie.

Ask urself dis question sincerely...."can u adopt d child n be a true mother"?
If yes...........settle 4 him, promising to love d baby.
If no.......back out!

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now remember that these are people's opinions.At the end of the day you have to deal with the situation the best way you know how.
Situations change and so some advice become useless.
Just listen to that conscience and handle it maturely lest you regret.

I just read your 2nd post about your suspicion with thihs guy, before reading this one.
I advise you ask for the girl's (mother of his daughter) picture, so you can match it with the one being flaunted on Facebook. I believe as a smart girl, you must have saved the one on fbk. Dont be surprised if thr picture disappears from the 'radar' to cover up his ploy. Ask to see the other lady's photo. It must be in his album, laptop or somewhere.

Try it and let me know what you discovered.

My dear men still father a
Child after been married to another woman for decades and nobody ll know!didn't you hear of Ojukwu's story?besides u dnt even know where d relationship is headed!but a
Tip from me is you shldnt whin much about his child cos its only a
Silly man that will put a
Woman first to his child!

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Nature is balancing equation...
Desperation at its peak..
Just go back to your ex