Can you fight a younger person for calling you Name and Not Bro or Aunt

No,i dont have to.theres a girl in 3oo level where i work,she wanted to pass a message to me so she caled me by my name,shewa,i wasnt happy wit it and so when she finished,she left my office and i told her to come whenever she doesnt have lectures,i need to talk to her and so she came d next day,i said seat down yewande,i asked her whether she knows d age difference between her and me,she said no,i brought out her academic document that reflected her age and i told her my age,i told her d year i was where she is now and i told her d higher she goes d more she will meet more younger ones her way and am sure u wouldnt like anyone adressing u disrespectfully,moreover respect is d hallmark of every yoruba lady.even if ur parents didnt teach u about respect which i dont want to believe,u have to imbibe it,because u will not be in school forever,u will work with people who are older and younger than u and by d tym u start calling d people u should not call by their names,its d day u need their help u will start facing needless problems,i also told her that my surbodinates in d office are also years older than me yet i call them aunty peju and brother isaac because even though they are my surbodinates,they still deserve respect by virtue of the fact that they are older than me,asides that i dont know when i might need their help.i rounded up by telling her that what respect will do to u will be more than u could have schemed or bribed to get done,immediatly she apologized and said it wouldnt repeat itself,i offered her a can of malt so that she will know i have nothing against her,so u correct somewhat disrespectful ones with wisdom and not gra gra

,Na wa oh, "Anty" "brother" in a work environment, hehehehehe, Na wa oh.
Poster, I really don't care, all I ask of people is be honest and act well, I am not into fake respect. When you have to demand for it you don't mean it.
We should keep our culture and traditions off the work place and be professional. Respect is earned not asked or fought for.
So you fight them and they call you Anty or Uncle and in their hearts they wish you will just fade away.
How does any of that even add to my life oh? When you do what you need to do, you are honest, you are decent and you are efficent, that's all I require, after all I really am not your Aunty

The worse one is when they call you "anty" and as soon as your back is turned they hiss and curse you out

Debrief you remembered I opened a thread about this 'respect' issue..... What my eyes have seen with these so called aunty , brother issue you have no idea.... esp if you are their boss.... one even called me one day that she's the same age as my sister if I have one .... I still call her by her first name flat!

I don't know you neither do they so what's with the lecture?

If you cant get jiggy with it... eff off!

You will earn it.... don't force it!

Jide I remember oh, I don't know how calling me "anty" will make me perform better at work.
I really don't even get the logic of making someone or in this case as the poster wrote "fight" someone and make them "respect" me.
If someone believes you earned it they will respect you, if respect is so importamt to you then work hard and earn it

kulyie: No,i dont have to.theres a girl in 3oo level where i work,she wanted to pass a message to me so she caled me by my name,shewa,i wasnt happy wit it and so when she finished,she left my office and i told her to come whenever she doesnt have lectures,i need to talk to her and so she came d next day,i said seat down yewande,i asked her whether she knows d age difference between her and me,she said no,i brought out her academic document that reflected her age and i told her my age,i told her d year i was where she is now and i told her d higher she goes d more she will meet more younger ones her way and am sure u wouldnt like anyone adressing u disrespectfully,moreover respect is d hallmark of every yoruba lady.even if ur parents didnt teach u about respect which i dont want to believe,u have to imbibe it,because u will not be in school forever,u will work with people who are older and younger than u and by d tym u start calling d people u should not call by their names,its d day u need their help u will start facing needless problems,i also told her that my surbodinates in d office are also years older than me yet i call them aunty peju and brother isaac because even though they are my surbodinates,they still deserve respect by virtue of the fact that they are older than me,asides that i dont know when i might need their help.i rounded up by telling her that what respect will do to u will be more than u could have schemed or bribed to get done,immediatly she apologized and said it wouldnt repeat itself,i offered her a can of malt so that she will know i have nothing against her,so u correct somewhat disrespectful ones with wisdom and not gra gra

Bull-igbe!!!

kulyie: No,i dont have to.theres a girl in 3oo level where i work,she wanted to pass a message to me so she caled me by my name,shewa,i wasnt happy wit it and so when she finished,she left my office and i told her to come whenever she doesnt have lectures,i need to talk to her and so she came d next day,i said seat down yewande,i asked her whether she knows d age difference between her and me,she said no,i brought out her academic document that reflected her age and i told her my age,i told her d year i was where she is now and i told her d higher she goes d more she will meet more younger ones her way and am sure u wouldnt like anyone adressing u disrespectfully,moreover respect is d hallmark of every yoruba lady.even if ur parents didnt teach u about respect which i dont want to believe,u have to imbibe it,because u will not be in school forever,u will work with people who are older and younger than u and by d tym u start calling d people u should not call by their names,its d day u need their help u will start facing needless problems,i also told her that my surbodinates in d office are also years older than me yet i call them aunty peju and brother isaac because even though they are my surbodinates,they still deserve respect by virtue of the fact that they are older than me,asides that i dont know when i might need their help.i rounded up by telling her that what respect will do to u will be more than u could have schemed or bribed to get done,immediatly she apologized and said it wouldnt repeat itself,i offered her a can of malt so that she will know i have nothing against her,so u correct somewhat disrespectful ones with wisdom and not gra gra

I like the diplomatic way you handled a situation you felt needed to be handled but I gotta ask. . .Do you believe respect should be earned?

In this part of the world were I live in. We go by first names

jennykadry: In this part of the world were I live in. We go by first names

I love it this way too as it forces individuals to EARN whatever respect they think they deserve.

Kobojunkie:

I love it this way too as it forces individuals to EARN whatever respect they think they deserve.

Tell me about it. Call someone uncle or Aunty and see f you won't get into trouble

Sisi_Kill:
I like the diplomatic way you handled a situation you felt needed to be handled but I gotta ask. . .Do you believe respect should be earned?

You're just being nice sisikill and that's very nice of you but I thought she forced that 300 level girl to call her whatever she wants..... you don't take stuff like that personal ; she's not family ,

it's intimidating when some old woman tells me how to address her.... I call that bullying ... say whatever they want ... I am just being 100% and I will not sugarcoat it

I think d title is misleading "fighting" how can fighting be regarded as fine?
Now, to d subject matter:
Once its my name, i dont have problem with that. The only problem i have is not calling my name properly, i will simply correct d fellow, apart from that, every other thing is fine by me.

Sisi_Kill:
I like the diplomatic way you handled a situation you felt needed to be handled but I gotta ask. . .Do you believe respect should be earned?

of course respect is earned,lets face it we are living in nigeria and u cant go far as far as nigerian setting is concerned,fine u might not use that name behind them,but @ least respect is part of internal beauty,i know some nairalanders dont believe in this,well,each to his own,but if i was outside nigeria,thats a different case,i could call someone ten yrs older than me firectly by their names and they arent bothered,maybe its d home i came from and d training,but i find it uncomfortable disrespecting people that should be respected

stillwater:

Bull-igbe!!!

that u dont believe in respect doesnt mean u should demean what i typed up there,someones poison might be someone elses food.

jidegirl12:

You're just being nice sisikill and that's very nice of you but I thought she forced that 300 level girl to call her whatever she wants..... you don't take stuff like that personal ; she's not family ,

it's intimidating when some old woman tells me how to address her.... I call that bullying ... say whatever they want ... I am just being 100% and I will not sugarcoat it

of course i didnt bully her,bullying her is when i yelled or verbally attacked her for calling me that,bullying her was if i took some of her academic documents and hid it and called her and said she did not do her registration for this semester when i know she did so that she will have to re do her registration and pay extra money and later tell her thats d consequence of her calling me by her name,there are a thousand and one things i could have done to her that will make life miserable for her while in school,i could have lied against her to my boss,who is her hod that she slapped me when no one was in d office for correcting her when i said she shud come when she had no lectures,so its my word against hers and rope her into something implicating,but i didnt,those are what i call getting respect by force

Kulyie, obviously you are superior than she is and that`s when bullying comes in , Bullying is using a superior strength to intimidate someone or her to do what you want period!....bullying isn`t all yelling and hitting or some kind of blackmail you just explained there....it goes a long way.

You don`t force or talk people into respecting you...You earn it then you get it if need be.

I was raised in a respectful home too but I don`t want any old person tell me what to call her.

I

debrief08: Kuyile you are a bully and an abusive person. You threatened her for your personal gratification. Is it in you office rule book that she should call you Anty?
You have abused the small power you have demanding for respect that is not earned you are lucky that girl is not someone I know else I would lodged a formal complain against you and see to it that you are stripped of that power which makes you threaten your junior workers.
How dare you? I am so upset. How dare you sacre the poor girl? Why must she call you Anty? Are you her Aunt?
I am not being diplomatic you are a BULLY and an ABUSER.

Debrief don kill me o!

Dem born you as "auntie-kulyie"? Mtscheew! This girl that cannot even type complete words is fighting to be called auntie. Let that girl become something tomorrow and see if they will not slash your salary is you don't call her "mummy". Rotfl.

debrief08: Kuyile you are a bully and an abusive person. You threatened her for your personal gratification. Is it in you office rule book that she should call you Anty?
You have abused the small power you have demanding for respect that is not earned you are lucky that girl is not someone I know else I would lodged a formal complain against you and see to it that you are stripped of that power which makes you threaten your junior workers.
How dare you? I am so upset. How dare you sacre the poor girl? Why must she call you Anty? Are you her Aunt?
I am not being diplomatic you are a BULLY and an ABUSER.

Debrief, where did she threaten the girl? I don't see any threats here.

kulyie: No,i dont have to.theres a girl in 3oo level where i work,she wanted to pass a message to me so she caled me by my name,shewa,i wasnt happy wit it and so when she finished,she left my office and i told her to come whenever she doesnt have lectures,i need to talk to her and so she came d next day,i said seat down yewande,i asked her whether she knows d age difference between her and me,she said no,i brought out her academic document that reflected her age and i told her my age,i told her d year i was where she is now and i told her d higher she goes d more she will meet more younger ones her way and am sure u wouldnt like anyone adressing u disrespectfully,moreover respect is d hallmark of every yoruba lady.even if ur parents didnt teach u about respect which i dont want to believe,u have to imbibe it,because u will not be in school forever,u will work with people who are older and younger than u and by d tym u start calling d people u should not call by their names,its d day u need their help u will start facing needless problems,i also told her that my surbodinates in d office are also years older than me yet i call them aunty peju and brother isaac because even though they are my surbodinates,they still deserve respect by virtue of the fact that they are older than me,asides that i dont know when i might need their help.i rounded up by telling her that what respect will do to u will be more than u could have schemed or bribed to get done,immediatly she apologized and said it wouldnt repeat itself,i offered her a can of malt so that she will know i have nothing against her,so u correct somewhat disrespectful ones with wisdom and not gra gra

Also, it wasn't a junior worker, it was a student in the University the poster works in..

Apology

I

debrief08: Ile what does it mean to tell someone who you supervise that you can lie against her to her HOD for not calling you Anty, if that is not a threat in the work place I don't know what is.
The Girl is obvoiusly doing IT in the office so for that duration she is a Jnr staff.
Please what is your defination of threat? You bring out a persons file and tell them that for not dxoing what you want (which is in no way part of her office duty) that you could have lied to implicate her?
Seriously?

Debrief, you misread that post completely, She did not do any of these. She was giving a hypothetical scenario of what bullying the student would have looked like, as opposed to what actually happened.

The post in question;

kulyie: of course i didnt bully her,bullying her is when i yelled or verbally attacked her for calling me that,bullying her was if i took some of her academic documents and hid it and called her and said she did not do her registration for this semester when i know she did so that she will have to re do her registration and pay extra money and later tell her thats d consequence of her calling me by her name,there are a thousand and one things i could have done to her that will make life miserable for her while in school,i could have lied against her to my boss,who is her hod that she slapped me when no one was in d office for correcting her when i said she shud come when she had no lectures,so its my word against hers and rope her into something implicating,but i didnt,those are what i call getting respect by force

Gramatical/punctuation errors aside, she was trying to draw a contrast between what she feels would have been bullying tactics in her opinion to what she did.

Okay re read and apologise, however even if you work in a secondary school you don't demand respect allow yourself to earn it.
Kuyile should learn to write full words and puntuiate them so that old women like me will not get confused

For her to even fathom the idea ( or instances) of doing such terrible acts against a mere intern is disgusting all in the name of 'call me aunty' and I dash you Malta after .

That's what I was trying to explain that these terrible stuff originates from Nigeria ... It's just st upid.

Imagine my own staff telling me she's not my mate that she's the same age with my elder X2 if I have one... in Canada o! What rubbish!

debrief08: Okay re read and apologise, however even if you work in a secondary school you don't demand respect allow yourself to earn it.
Kuyile should learn to write full words and puntuiate them so that old women like me will not get confused

o,ok,sorry for typing wrongly,i was multi tasking and typing at the same time using my phone,forgive my grammatical and punctuation errors please

ileobatojo:

Debrief, where did she threaten the girl? I don't see any threats here.



Also, it wasn't a junior worker, it was a student in the University the poster works in..

exactly

I also type with a phone and make grammatical errors, but puncuations, spacing, and writing begining of sentences in capital letters is a must.

Kuylie, it doesn't excuse the fact that you could think about such extreme amount of wickedness because someone called you by your first name.She is not related to you and is not under obligation to call you Anty.
So what if after your lecture she told you she is sorry but she doesn't see the need to call you Anty, what would you have done?

baby_123: Dem born you as "auntie-kulyie"? Mtscheew! This girl that cannot even type complete words is fighting to be called auntie. Let that girl become something tomorrow and see if they will not slash your salary is you don't call her "mummy". Rotfl.

like i said before i wasnt fully concentrating when i was typing this,that was why there were many typo graphical errors and i said pardon me,meanwhile,i am NOT in any way fighting to be aunty and i am not bullying the girl,i am only giving examples of bullying.i wasn't born with aunty but by virtue of my position in that office,i still deserve that respect and as long as a person is a student in the department where i work,i have to be adressed with respect,whether u become d richest person on earth tomorow or you become the president of the world (if that were possible) that is absolutely none of my buisness,as long as i did not come to you to beg you for five naira neither did i engage in any activity that you will question me or use as a basis to threaten me tomorrow.as for earning respect i was qualified academically,professionally and morally for the job that was why i was employed.there are a thousand and one applicants who applied for the job but i was employed because of the potentials they saw in me,that alone is enough reason,coupled with age to be called aunty shewa,so did i earn it,yes i did.one more thing,i am no bully