Let us be real here how many educated women with means will go to their son's house and their DIL tells them to leave and she will want to stay a day longer
I will pack my things and leave immediately and they will beg me to spend even half a day in that house of theirs
My mom will do the exact same thing
If any of my sisters in law insults her to the point of asking her to leave,she will jejely give her a piece of her mind and ask that my brother confirms her ticket immediately so she can get the heck out of their house.
So I don't even understand this idea of insisting that you are going nowhere
She no get house?
If na me,if I could leave easily, i will be gone before they came home from work the next day sef
How person go chase you comot for im house and you no wan go,I get pride abeg

stillwater:

So how do we deal with anger issues? Is it not by dealing with the source of the anger, which is Mama.
Now you are just taking the piss comparing FILs to MILs just for argument sake.

In Nigerian terms it is called ENDURANCE(analogous to 'suffering and smiling') mentality. According to the Nigerian ENDURANCE theory, woman needs to ENDURE because she is married to a 'Nigerian' and must hold on to that ring at all cost.

One poster went on to tell us how his own mother, who is in her 70's, ENDURED and so now his own wife is ENDURING and all is good. . . . blue skies and roses etc.

The first time I actually saw this thread I rolled my eyes and thought the OP shouldn't have acted that way. Didn't bother to comment. Then coming back here to see the men making noise over a mother who is obviously not a saint, and who is supposed to know better as a woman with experience. I hold her absolutely responsible for the way things turned out. She is the eldest, a woman herself, she ought to know better. How can you be a source of negative energy in the household and still balance there and be happy with yourself? That is pure witchcraft. We know these type of women, the 'agarachas'

Well I'm learning a lot from the men here. So basically, whenever my lovely sons get married, I can go around their houses behaving like a homeless bush goat and know that they won't do anything because of all these wonderful, fantastic, motherly things I'm doing for them now eh? Life is good o! Such pearls of wisdom you guys are dispersing here!!


That being said, what the wife did was utterly ridiculous! Such a childish annoying tantrum for the silliest of triggers too. If I were her husband and she threw away food my mother cooked that I was busy enjoying, God help me if I don't give her a dirty slap.

babyosisi: Let us be real here how many educated women with means will go to their son's house and their DIL tells them to leave and she will want to stay a day longer
I will pack my things and leave immediately and they will beg me to spend even half a day in that house of theirs
My mom will do the exact same thing
If any of my sisters in law insults her to the point of asking her to leave,she will jejely give her a piece of her mind and ask that my brother confirms her ticket immediately so she can get the heck out of their house.
So I don't even understand this idea of insisting that you are going nowhere
She no get house?
If na me,if I could leave easily, i will be gone before they came home from work the next day sef
How person go chase you comot for im house and you no wan go,I get pride abeg

You are right. The fact that the MIL still balance there tells you the kind of MIL she is. She thrives in such negative environment.

stillwater: The first time I actually saw this thread I rolled my eyes and thought the OP shouldn't have acted that way. Didn't bother to comment. Then coming back here to see the men making noise over a mother who is obviously not a saint, and who is supposed to know better as a woman with experience.

So much word!!

How can you be a source of negative energy in the household and still balance there and be happy with yourself? That is pure witchcraft. We know these type of women, the 'agarachas'

She's just a greedy opportunist.

stillwater:

You are right. The fact that the MIL still balance there tells you the kind of MIL she is. She thrives in such negative environment.

A friend came from Naija on a business trip and spent two weeks with us and said my sister you people are enjoying o
I said wetin?
Na una wey get private chauffeurs and maids and traveling the world on holidays wey dey enjoy
SHe said my dear it is not the money I dey talk
See as just you and your family just dey
She said see as you people dey here no sisters in law,no mother in law,no husbands distant relatives or your own popping in and refusing to go
She started counting the people living in her house ,I begin laff
I laughed so hard
She said if you see my pot of soup,like I am cooking for boarding house,the headache na waya
I said well as for,advantage dey dia small
To get visa no be beans na
So we no get that inlaw / outlaw headache as much
Having sad that I know so many marriages that collapsed completely after an MIL visit
Too numerous to count

ileobatojo: Well I'm learning a lot from the men here. So basically, whenever my lovely sons get married,[b] I can go around their houses behaving like a homeless bush goat [/b]and know that they won't do anything because of all these wonderful, fantastic, motherly things I'm doing for them now eh? Life is good o! Such pearls of wisdom you guys are dispersing here!!


That being said, what the wife did was utterly ridiculous! Such a childish annoying tantrum for the silliest of triggers too. If I were her husband and she threw away food my mother cooked that I was busy enjoying, God help me if I don't give her a dirty slap.

Bwahahahahaha!!

Me I have come again with my questions oh! I have been waiting for someone else to talk about it but no one did, so here goes. . . How can a man can sit back to eat food made for him alone when he has a wife and Kid?

I'm sorry I just can't get past that part. What is even more appalling is how the men on this thread see nothing wrong with that. . .I understand when it comes to marriage, men own the copyright and patent for self-centeredness but come on! Not to this extent!! Haba!!

We all know for sure the girl's mother will never. . .EVER do that, she would even be the one running up and down making sure her son in law had the best portion of the food, then her grandchild and if there's any left. . .her daughter is in luck (Exaggerating here of course but you get the point ).

In an average Naija marriage, the guy gets the mommies fawning over him front left and center, gets the daddies paying attention to what he has to say, being a family man (a family his wife helped him build) awards him that respect and what does the wife get? Nada!! Is it any wonder some women lose their cool sometimes?!!

I am not in any way condoning the tantrum OP threw, even she knows it was uncalled for but I won't dismiss her frustrations. If only we could have a Freaky Friday moment, let husbands and wives switch bodies for one day and the men keep a diary of their experience. It would make for an interesting read, I have no doubt.

Hmmmm, say anyone have Santa's address? Don't tell me to just send it to North Pole. . .I did that the last time and he obviously didn't get it (coz I don't see no man having babies yet ) so I need a real addy this time with zip code and everything. Thank you in advance.

Sisi_Kill: . . How can a man can sit back to eat food made for him alone when he has a wife and Kid?

That was what got me too. . . I had hoped the @OP would further explain the type of man she is married to so we would get picture of what that was about. Does the mother in-law not even love her grand kids or something?

Sisi_Kill:

Bwahahahahaha!!

Okay o, be laughing there. Me I'm already plotting all the gutter, yaba left moves I'm going to deploy on the poor unsuspecting wives when the time comes.

Sisi_Kill:

Me I have come again with my questions oh! I have been waiting for someone else to talk about it but no one did, so here goes. . . How can a man can sit back to eat food made for him alone when he has a wife and Kid?

I'm sorry I just can't get past that part.

Well I'm assuming she did not only cook food for one person, or two. The OP did not say she only cooked enough food for her husband. I'm inclined to believe she cooked a whole pot of food but the OP freaked out the minute she saw hubby eating his own. If she deliberately only cooked for her and her son then that's some serious bullshyte right there and in that case I immediately reverse my position and applaud the wife for her tantrum. Because one childish behavior deserves another!!

Viewing this topic: jidegirl12, ileobatojo, wingman(m), [size=16pt]Ms.JuanMata(f)[/size], Kobojunkie, and 1 guest(s)

Ms.Juanmata, I hope you have now learned how to be a good wife from the original poster and some other sane woman on how to be a good wife.

You should now leave this thread IMMEDIATELY and go prepare a delicious meal for your hubby before your MIL starts doing it.

If I tell you what my fathers tenant's wife is going through in the hands if MIL una go cry. They live in a 3 bedroom house, MIL, two SIL's and 1 niece plus his apprentice boys all live in that house. With all their wahala in the house MIL continually mocks her sons wife cos They have no child. Last year when she knew I was around e came to visit, my mum before hand warned me to Shuush no matter what I heard. This woman is suffering from arthritis and my wonderful self bought her lots of medications from here and took it down to Naija. She came over the house and we were all gisting, the woman changed mouth and started her DIL matter then started talking about the tiny size of meat the girl serves her, then how she is a nurse and gets paid well but refuses to give her more than she is now, the. From there se jumped into conception matter, it was so much that I could not hold myself anymore, I said ....."mama, with all due respect ooo, how do you expect her to conceive with all of you in the house not giving her breathing space, Uju sleeps in the same room as them, some of you's sleep in the sitting room, do you people expect her to have an immaculate conception?"...... I walked away. My father was mad at me that day for not listening but I was past caring. How can people be so wicked even when you have a daughter yourself. It's not fair.

My mum told me recently that the woman came visiting in march this year and has not gone back and just recently (August) Daughter in law yelled at her in the presence of grand daughter. Imagine the amount of crap his girl has had to put up with.

Abeg pardon my errors , I'm mobile

babyosisi:

A friend came from Naija on a business trip and spent two weeks with us and said my sister you people are enjoying o
I said wetin?
Na una wey get private chauffeurs and maids and traveling the world on holidays wey dey enjoy
SHe said my dear it is not the money I dey talk
See as just you and your family just dey
She said see as you people dey here no sisters in law,no mother in law,no husbands distant relatives or your own popping in and refusing to go
She started counting the people living in her house ,I begin laff
I laughed so hard
She said if you see my pot of soup,like I am cooking for boarding house,the headache na waya
I said well as for,advantage dey dia small
To get visa no be beans na
So we no get that inlaw / outlaw headache as much
Having sad that I know so many marriages that collapsed completely after an MIL visit
Too numerous to count

Osisi na today? I love my mother so much but I have I say that some of them are wicked. See how person dy cook for battalion

ileobatojo:

Okay o, be laughing there. Me I'm already plotting all the gutter, yaba left moves I'm going to deploy on the poor unsuspecting wives when the time comes.



Well I'm assuming she did not only cook food for one person, or two. The OP did not say she only cooked enough food for her husband. I'm inclined to believe she cooked a whole pot of food but the OP freaked out the minute she saw hubby eating his own. If she deliberately only cooked for her and her son then that's some serious bullshyte right there and in that case I immediately reverse my position and applaud the wife for her tantrum. Because one childish behavior deserves another!!

Sarcasm is diminishing Sisi's comprehension skills. This topic is not difficult at all for women with depth, your MIL will leave without you acting like a lunatic, just hold your fire and position. I tire for these new breed of women with their yanga, please what are you guys begin to the table of marriage? Sex?

Respect for the man is 0, his family you don't want to see. Life doesn't work like this.

babyosisi:

A friend came from Naija on a business trip and spent two weeks with us and said my sister you people are enjoying o
I said wetin?
Na una wey get private chauffeurs and maids and traveling the world on holidays wey dey enjoy
SHe said my dear it is not the money I dey talk
See as just you and your family just dey
She said see as you people dey here no sisters in law,no mother in law,no husbands distant relatives or your own popping in and refusing to go
She started counting the people living in her house ,I begin laff
I laughed so hard
She said if you see my pot of soup,like I am cooking for boarding house,the headache na waya
I said well as for,advantage dey dia small
To get visa no be beans na
So we no get that inlaw / outlaw headache as much
Having sad that I know so many marriages that collapsed completely after an MIL visit
Too numerous to count

who is this poster??

Metalgoong: Viewing this topic: jidegirl12, ileobatojo, wingman(m), [size=16pt]Ms.JuanMata(f)[/size], Kobojunkie, and 1 guest(s)

Ms.Juanmata, I hope you have now learned how to be a good wife from the original poster and some other sane woman on how to be a good wife.

You should now leave this thread IMMEDIATELY and go prepare a delicious meal for your hubby before your MIL starts doing it.

you are funny,ure now so hooked on my moniker. I'm enjoying the attention though Hope you are reading your books well? Be a good boy and have a nice day.

babyosisi:

I know you asked someone else this question but if my mother came to my house and criticized my husband in his presence accusing him of being a bad husband or father or lacking in money making skills and husband duties and makes life unbearable for my husband and straining my marriage and would not listen or change her ways,yes I will send her packing and I expect my husband to do same if his mother is being the same way.

Good for you... you guys are saying sentiments this and that. Well let it be " semtiment" I don't care. The only reason some of you aren't happy about how I and coogar has spoken is because of that void to allow you feel "yes she is the wife after all"

If that is what you expect women, I am sorry to say this, there will be no AUTOMATIC shirt in my house. You want to fill special, EARN it. Yes she will have to earn it.

I am sorry ladies for saying this but after what I have seen a woman did to my elder brother, my uncle, the brother of my mum's friend, Opa william's , the creator of a night of a thousand laugh, brother( we were neighbors in Lagos then) and some that I cant mention, I cant give a woman that 100% control... she HAS TO EARN IT!

The ladies here may not be this kind of women in the lives of this men, but I am the kind that learn from other people's experiences. That is just me and how I have chosen to live my life. I am just trying to be careful so that I dont end up dying before my time. I love peace of mind and if a woman chose to be an headache for me, I can easily exchange her space for my peace of mind, even if children were involved. Sorry if this sounds hash. When I love, I love like crazy but I cant tolerate BAD manners. NO WAY!


Now back to the quoted. If you choose to throw your mother out, good for you.... I wont even tell my MIL to pack out of my house because I cant do such to my own mother. But from what I understand from the OP, it hasn't gotten to that. she is just someone with a bad temper who get angry over little things, more like "who is this one telling me what to do"? and she probably hissed.

If you look critically at the the second response from the OP, wherein she had reconciled with her MIL you will see that the MIL isnt as bad as she painted her. The MIL only wanted her to be a better wife and also trying to correct those elements which her own parent or herself failed to equip her with.

If I mention my mum now, una go vex. But I knew her to be a VERY GOOD cook and she was known by her relatives for that. I remember when her sister,not immediate sister, came to our house one day and we served her food. She knew my mum didnt cook that food the moment she tasted it. She asked my elder brother who cooked it. That just to tell you the magic of skillful hands in the kicthen.

So, if my mum have to tell my wife how to be a better wife, I see nothing bad in that. Saying she will humiliate her DIL blah blah blah, I know she wouldnt do that.

My mother is not someone who only cares about her children but she also extended that same love to neighbours around. Sometime around 1995 or so, I was outside with her just to receive fresh air and there was no light. So, after a few minutes, we started hearing the child of a neighbour in the next compound crying. she waited for about 30 minutes the crying never ceased. She had stand up to go and see what was wrong with the child. Lo and behold, a few months old baby was left in the hands of a house help who knows little or nothing about nursing a baby because the parents had not returned at about 8:30pm- 9pm, maybe due to hold up or something else.

What did my mother do? she took child from the house help and ask her to get water ready and she bathed that child, cuddled her into sleep. That child slept till her parents came back. The mother came to our house the next morning to thank my mum.

Before she departed from this world, we had the been to Sango Otta to build our house. Since we did not permanently live there, but Benin City, my mum rented a house where we could stay while build the house. So we were coming to from Benin to Ogun State.

There was a neighbour who was also close to us in that compound and the husband was also helping my mum in building of our house. Something happened between the man and the wife. The wife was insulting her own mother and talking to her the she so pleased. Out anger, the husband descended on her. There is something you guys are missing and i don't care what you call it.Some men dont like 'mothers' being treated in unmerited manners.

I wouldnt beat my wife under such circumstance though, but it sure wont stop me from giving her a good hot slap in multiples of 3 or 4.

But the husband did what he deemed right because he saw a clear picture that if it had been his own mother, that's how she would have insulted his mother too.

So, what did my mother do? she went in there and spoke at length to the couples and everything came back to normal. Sometimes, if something was wrong with their 2nd child, my mother will tell the wife what do without the need to go and buy one drug or the other.

Now do you my mother humiliating HER own DIL? I dont think so. And there is nothing wrong in telling someone how to be a better wife.

The OP just didnt like the fact that someone was trying to correct what her parents failed to do or she failed to equip herself with.

That is my own oooo. If una like talk anything... WE AR ALL ENTITLE TO OUR OWN OPINIONS and we have our reasons.

QED

coogar: this thread has gone to the dogs again as usual....

some things would never change. only an uncouth, mannerless and idiotic wife would lash out at her mother-in-law and order her to leave.....for feck's sake, where is the moral code gone in africa these days? can the original poster ask her own mother out? how would the original poster react if the husband asks her mother out of the house? some women just love to think with the soles of their feet.

a woman had her son, raised him, trained him, educated him to be a responsible son. all her tears, all her pains, all her struggles, all her prayers and then a tooth-pick legged heifer comes into the son's life only to try and put a wedge between the son and his mother. it shall not be well with such wife and i hope and pray she raises a son whose wife would do the same to her. no woman born of a woman would disrespect my mother....that's the day she shall return to her parents and they had better return my bride price and my goat!

KAI bros, I didnt even see this initially... 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 likes

Na wa oh! Different people with different perspectives to situations. My takes in all these is "Do unto others as you have them do unto you". If you love respect, then sow and exhibit respect in all you do.

ferhyntorlah: Na wa oh! Different people with different perspectives to situations. My takes in all these is "Do unto others as you have them do unto you". If you love respect, then sow and exhibit respect in all you do.

thank you... I no stubborn ooo and not that I wouldnt love my wifey... as you saw in another thread, you remember when u said make I chop knuckle?

That is me... despite everything said, i know I will love my wife if she deserve. It is just how I grew up and thing I have seen in this life... that shaped me.

btw I slept almost 2 am and by 6 am I am awake again.... weird!

2sexy: thank you... I no stubborn ooo and not that I wouldnt love my wifey... as you saw in another thread, you remember when u said make I chop knuckle?

That is me... despite everything said, i know I will love my wife if she deserve. It is just how I grew up and thing I have seen in this life... that shaped me.

btw I slept almost 2 am and by 6 am I am awake again.... weird!

ROTFLMAO!

God help our Nigerian men!

Ujujoan:

ROTFLMAO!

God help our Nigerian men!

yes na... whatever. na me me go love finish one daughter of eve go come take do futball? na 50-50 things... how is that, no sentiment shey? hahahahha... abeg I don rest for this one... and that was why i said she has to earn it.

2sexy:
Btw I slept almost 2 am and by 6 am I am awake again.... weird!

Oh boyee, u sure say you ok sha? Only 4hrs of sleep? Better readjust and do all the necessary RE-something to balance the period your body needs to rest to recuperate for the day's tasks.

ferhyntorlah:

Oh boyee, u sure say you ok sha? Only 4hrs of sleep? Better readjust and do all the necessary RE-something to balance the period your body needs to rest to recuperate for the day's tasks.

yes ma'am. I will!

Sisi_Kill:

Bwahahahahaha!!

Me I have come again with my questions oh! I have been waiting for someone else to talk about it but no one did, so here goes. . . How can a man can sit back to eat food made for him alone when he has a wife and Kid?

I'm sorry I just can't get past that part. What is even more appalling is how the men on this thread see nothing wrong with that. . .I understand when it comes to marriage, men own the copyright and patent for self-centeredness but come on! Not to this extent!! Haba!!

We all know for sure the girl's mother will never. . .EVER do that, she would even be the one running up and down making sure her son in law had the best portion of the food, then her grandchild and if there's any left. . .her daughter is in luck (Exaggerating here of course but you get the point ).

In an average Naija marriage, the guy gets the mommies fawning over him front left and center, gets the daddies paying attention to what he has to say, being a family man (a family his wife helped him build) awards him that respect and what does the wife get? Nada!! Is it any wonder some women lose their cool sometimes?!!

I am not in any way condoning the tantrum OP threw, even she knows it was uncalled for but I won't dismiss her frustrations. If only we could have a Freaky Friday moment, let husbands and wives switch bodies for one day and the men keep a diary of their experience. It would make for an interesting read, I have no doubt.

Hmmmm, say anyone have Santa's address? Don't tell me to just send it to North Pole. . .I did that the last time and he obviously didn't get it (coz I don't see no man having babies yet ) so I need a real addy this time with zip code and everything. Thank you in advance.

maclatunji:

Sarcasm is diminishing Sisi's comprehension skills. This topic is not difficult at all for women with depth, your MIL will leave without you acting like a lunatic, just hold your fire and position. I tire for these new breed of women with their yanga, please what are you guys begin to the table of marriage? Sex?

Respect for the man is 0, his family you don't want to see. Life doesn't work like this.

2sexy:

Good for you... you guys are saying sentiments this and that. Well let it be " semtiment" I don't care. The only reason some of you aren't happy about how I and coogar has spoken is because of that void to allow you feel "yes she is the wife after all"

If that is what you expect women, I am sorry to say this, there will be no AUTOMATIC shirt in my house. You want to fill special, EARN it. Yes she will have to earn it.

I am sorry ladies for saying this but after what I have seen a woman did to my elder brother, my uncle, the brother of my mum's friend, Opa william's , the creator of a night of a thousand laugh, brother( we were neighbors in Lagos then) and some that I cant mention, I cant give a woman that 100% control... she HAS TO EARN IT!

The ladies here may not be this kind of women in the lives of this men, but I am the kind that learn from other people's experiences. That is just me and how I have chosen to live my life. I am just trying to be careful so that I dont end up dying before my time. I love peace of mind and if a woman chose to be an headache for me, I can easily exchange her space for my peace of mind, even if children were involved. Sorry if this sounds hash. When I love, I love like crazy but I cant tolerate BAD manners. NO WAY!


Now back to the quoted. If you choose to throw your mother out, good for you.... I wont even tell my MIL to pack out of my house because I cant do such to my own mother. But from what I understand from the OP, it hasn't gotten to that. she is just someone with a bad temper who get angry over little things, more like "who is this one telling me what to do"? and she probably hissed.

If you look critically at the the second response from the OP, wherein she had reconciled with her MIL you will see that the MIL isnt as bad as she painted her. The MIL only wanted her to be a better wife and also trying to correct those elements which her own parent or herself failed to equip her with.

If I mention my mum now, una go vex. But I knew her to be a VERY GOOD cook and she was known by her relatives for that. I remember when her sister,not immediate sister, came to our house one day and we served her food. She knew my mum didnt cook that food the moment she tasted it. She asked my elder brother who cooked it. That just to tell you the magic of skillful hands in the kicthen.

So, if my mum have to tell my wife how to be a better wife, I see nothing bad in that. Saying she will humiliate her DIL blah blah blah, I know she wouldnt do that.

My mother is not someone who only cares about her children but she also extended that same love to neighbours around. Sometime around 1995 or so, I was outside with her just to receive fresh air and there was no light. So, after a few minutes, we started hearing the child of a neighbour in the next compound crying. she waited for about 30 minutes the crying never ceased. She had stand up to go and see what was wrong with the child. Lo and behold, a few months old baby was left in the hands of a house help who knows little or nothing about nursing a baby because the parents had not returned at about 8:30pm- 9pm, maybe due to hold up or something else.

What did my mother do? she took child from the house help and ask her to get water ready and she bathed that child, cuddled her into sleep. That child slept till her parents came back. The mother came to our house the next morning to thank my mum.

Before she departed from this world, we had the been to Sango Otta to build our house. Since we did not permanently live there, but Benin City, my mum rented a house where we could stay while build the house. So we were coming to from Benin to Ogun State.

There was a neighbour who was also close to us in that compound and the husband was also helping my mum in building of our house. Something happened between the man and the wife. The wife was insulting her own mother and talking to her the she so pleased. Out anger, the husband descended on her. There is something you guys are missing and i don't care what you call it.Some men dont like 'mothers' being treated in unmerited manners.

I wouldnt beat my wife under such circumstance though, but it sure wont stop me from giving her a good hot slap in multiples of 3 or 4.

But the husband did what he deemed right because he saw a clear picture that if it had been his own mother, that's how she would have insulted his mother too.

So, what did my mother do? she went in there and spoke at length to the couples and everything came back to normal. Sometimes, if something was wrong with their 2nd child, my mother will tell the wife what do without the need to go and buy one drug or the other.

Now do you my mother humiliating HER own DIL? I dont think so. And there is nothing wrong in telling someone how to be a better wife.

The OP just didnt like the fact that someone was trying to correct what her parents failed to do or she failed to equip herself with.

That is my own oooo. If una like talk anything... WE AR ALL ENTITLE TO OUR OWN OPINIONS and we have our reasons.

QED

You have gone to extremes to describe daughters in law but failed to use the same extremes to describe mothers in law
My brother let us forget this particular story for now because it is not your typical MIL horror story,people have seen worse
Go to women that are childless or women that only had baby girls and they will give you chilling stories of what they have endured in the hands of their MIL and other inlaws and when the husband is on his wife's side,they conspire to turn his heart against her.
Obviously you are passionate about your mother and there is nothing wrong with it

It is not ok for an MIL to criticize her DIL's cooking or housekeeping or motherly roles,so please never allow your relatives do that to your wife
No woman will take kindly to that.
Just like no man will stand his Wife's mother or relatives lecturing him on how to make more money to become a better son inlaw for them
That is the equivalent
If my husband enjoys my food and my MiL comes and criticizes me and takes it upon herself to cook for her son because she says I am a bad cook,I would want her to leave too.that will be the action of almost every woman.
You owe it to your wife to give your mother and relatives rules and instructions when they visit to forestall any problems.It is insulting for a wife to be ridiculed in her own home by guests under her roof just because she is married to their son.
I am talking to you now as a married woman in the business a while too


I read you talking about beating or slapping your wife,i dont know your age but you need to change that ugly mindset
It is never ok to slap your wife,it tells more about you than about anything else

Let me leave you with one last word hopefully it will mean something
No woman goes to her husbands house to show The man or his mother pepper most women come into marriage with all their heart with this idea that it will all be love in the air from all but many are often met with the worst hostility you can think from their inlaws and sadly husbands too in instances.when you see a woman lash out at her MIL try to find out what the MIL did,I guarantee most times,the MIL has pushed her to her limits.
Secondly many of those very nasty MILs didn't just become nasty MILs they are nasty people to begin with ,people who don't get along with neighbors and others

davidylan:

who is this poster??

Davidylan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been walking the length and breadth of nairaland in search of you,asking of you
Wow my dear brother this na ya eyes?
Good to see you are alive and well
Sill hot headed and smart?
You don marry yet?
Finished your graduate school?
Working?
Where are thiefofheart,,debosky ,pataki and all the people that stormed NL those early nairaland days.we had loads of fun .

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))


*Sorry for the off topic *

maclatunji:
Sarcasm is diminishing Sisi's comprehension skills. This topic is not difficult at all for women with depth, your MIL will leave without you acting like a lunatic, just hold your fire and position. I tire for these new breed of women with their yanga, please what are you guys begin to the table of marriage? Sex?

Respect for the man is 0, his family you don't want to see. Life doesn't work like this.

don't mind the hypocrites....
all of them would grow up to become wicked mother inlaws - the new breed are actually worse with their sons. are these not the same women who follow their sons to school to slap the teachers who disciplined their sons? siddon there dey look - in the next 20 yrs, someone would come here to ridicule babyosisi and sisikill for dragging pot of stew with their daughters-in laws.

babyosisi:

Davidylan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been walking the length and breadth of nairaland in search of you,asking of you
Wow my dear brother this na ya eyes?
Good to see you are alive and well
Sill hot headed and smart?
You don marry yet?
Finished your graduate school?
Working?
Where are thiefofheart,,debosky ,pataki and all the people that stormed NL those early nairaland days.we had loads of fun .

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))


*Sorry for the off topic *

He never marry o. He still dey do single man.

2sexy:

Good for you... you guys are saying sentiments this and that. Well let it be " semtiment" I don't care. The only reason some of you aren't happy about how I and coogar has spoken is because of that void to allow you feel "yes she is the wife after all"

If that is what you expect women, I am sorry to say this, there will be no AUTOMATIC shirt in my house. You want to fill special, EARN it. Yes she will have to earn it.

I am sorry ladies for saying this but after what I have seen a woman did to my elder brother, my uncle, the brother of my mum's friend, Opa william's , the creator of a night of a thousand laugh, brother( we were neighbors in Lagos then) and some that I cant mention, I cant give a woman that 100% control... she HAS TO EARN IT!

The ladies here may not be this kind of women in the lives of this men, but I am the kind that learn from other people's experiences. That is just me and how I have chosen to live my life. I am just trying to be careful so that I dont end up dying before my time. I love peace of mind and if a woman chose to be an headache for me, I can easily exchange her space for my peace of mind, even if children were involved. Sorry if this sounds hash. When I love, I love like crazy but I cant tolerate BAD manners. NO WAY!


Now back to the quoted. If you choose to throw your mother out, good for you.... I wont even tell my MIL to pack out of my house because I cant do such to my own mother. But from what I understand from the OP, it hasn't gotten to that. she is just someone with a bad temper who get angry over little things, more like "who is this one telling me what to do"? and she probably hissed.

If you look critically at the the second response from the OP, wherein she had reconciled with her MIL you will see that the MIL isnt as bad as she painted her. The MIL only wanted her to be a better wife and also trying to correct those elements which her own parent or herself failed to equip her with.

If I mention my mum now, una go vex. But I knew her to be a VERY GOOD cook and she was known by her relatives for that. I remember when her sister,not immediate sister, came to our house one day and we served her food. She knew my mum didnt cook that food the moment she tasted it. She asked my elder brother who cooked it. That just to tell you the magic of skillful hands in the kicthen.

So, if my mum have to tell my wife how to be a better wife, I see nothing bad in that. Saying she will humiliate her DIL blah blah blah, I know she wouldnt do that.

My mother is not someone who only cares about her children but she also extended that same love to neighbours around. Sometime around 1995 or so, I was outside with her just to receive fresh air and there was no light. So, after a few minutes, we started hearing the child of a neighbour in the next compound crying. she waited for about 30 minutes the crying never ceased. She had stand up to go and see what was wrong with the child. Lo and behold, a few months old baby was left in the hands of a house help who knows little or nothing about nursing a baby because the parents had not returned at about 8:30pm- 9pm, maybe due to hold up or something else.

What did my mother do? she took child from the house help and ask her to get water ready and she bathed that child, cuddled her into sleep. That child slept till her parents came back. The mother came to our house the next morning to thank my mum.

Before she departed from this world, we had the been to Sango Otta to build our house. Since we did not permanently live there, but Benin City, my mum rented a house where we could stay while build the house. So we were coming to from Benin to Ogun State.

There was a neighbour who was also close to us in that compound and the husband was also helping my mum in building of our house. Something happened between the man and the wife. The wife was insulting her own mother and talking to her the she so pleased. Out anger, the husband descended on her. There is something you guys are missing and i don't care what you call it.Some men dont like 'mothers' being treated in unmerited manners.

I wouldnt beat my wife under such circumstance though, but it sure wont stop me from giving her a good hot slap in multiples of 3 or 4.

But the husband did what he deemed right because he saw a clear picture that if it had been his own mother, that's how she would have insulted his mother too.

So, what did my mother do? she went in there and spoke at length to the couples and everything came back to normal. Sometimes, if something was wrong with their 2nd child, my mother will tell the wife what do without the need to go and buy one drug or the other.

Now do you my mother humiliating HER own DIL? I dont think so. And there is nothing wrong in telling someone how to be a better wife.

The OP just didnt like the fact that someone was trying to correct what her parents failed to do or she failed to equip herself with.

That is my own oooo. If una like talk anything... WE AR ALL ENTITLE TO OUR OWN OPINIONS and we have our reasons.

QED

My mother too has done a lot more. It still doesn't give her the right to make another woman's life a living hell.
That to me is witchcraft.
She should go and ask MILs that are cool with their DILs on how to behave, if her parents didn't teach her how to act with decorum around people.
Bad behaviour in an older person is worse than one in a younger person.

coogar:

don't mind the hypocrites....
all of them would grow up to become wicked mother inlaws - the new breed are actually worse with their sons. are these not the same women who follow their sons to school to slap the teachers who disciplined their sons? siddon there dey look - in the next 20 yrs, someone would come here to ridicule babyosisi and sisikill for dragging pot of stew with their daughters-in laws.

I know it's still a rude shock to you that the mama that gave you bre.ast to suck is not utterly blameless.
Me too, I'm in awe when reality suddenly hits me.

stillwater:

He never marry o. He still dey do single man.



My mother too has done a lot more. It still doesn't give her the right to make another woman's life a living hell.
That to me is witchcraft.
She should go and ask MILs that are cool with their DILs on how to behave, if her parents didn't teach her how to act with decorum around people.
Bad behaviour in an older person is worse than one in a younger person.

Whether married or not, my life wouldnt be much different... okay, my wife wouldnt have to deal with any of this because her MIL wouldn't be available. so I guess you are rest assured that my wife will live peacefully okay? Are you happy now?

2sexy:

Whether married or not, my life wouldnt be much different... okay, my wife would have to deal with any of this because her MIL wouldn't be available. so I guess you are rest assured that my wife will live peacefully okay? Are you happy now?

Nope, not happy.