Recently watched the movie 'unfaithful'(again) starring Richard Gere and Diana Lane. For those who haven't watched the movie, it revolved around a married woman who was having an affair with a young man. The husband, acting on his suspicion engaged the service of a detective who confirmed his fears. The husband traced the man to his house and in a fit of anger killed him.

That's just a brief summary. The question I would like to ask is for the men only. What are the thoughts that run through your mind when you find out your woman is cheating on you?

2. How do you think you would react?

3. Would you still love her and continue the marriage? Bearing in mind that you both love each other so much.

4. If u were opportuned to meet the guy she was cheating with, what would you do to him?

Sincere and honest answers from the male folks would be highly appreciated. This is because most threads have always been about the men cheating but we all know that women cheat too. And then I think for the men, its more than just cheating but also about ego and pride(correct me if I am wrong).

If I never cheated on her, then I will have to terminate her appointment as my wife.

THAT IS HOME V, IS NOT GOOD FOR US IT CANT TEACH U ANY GOOD THING IN LIFE. IF UR WIFE IS HAVING SEX WITH SOMBODY MAY BE U ARE GOING AFTER GIRLS OR U DONT BRING MONEY AT HOME .

Following the sequence of ur questions, here are my answers:
1. I'm not certain about what would do on in my head, but deep within, I know we are in for some deep shit.
2. When I get the proof, I would approach her (quietly) with my findings feigning indifference and acting as nicely as she always admires.
3. Then, I would calmly and lovingly tell her "WE JUST HAVE TO CALL IT QUITS DEAR" (hugging her in fake tears) and wishing her luck with her new life.
4. If he is a stranger, I will do nothing. I will simply advise him to stop breaking homes and be on my way. If he happens to be my friend who knows me very well Hmmmmmmmm. I will not kill him, but when I'm through with him, he will wish he was never born in my generation cos he will wish he were DEAD![b][/b]

This is candid me.

ihedioramma: THAT IS HOME V, IS NOT GOOD FOR US IT CANT TEACH U ANY GOOD THING IN LIFE. IF UR WIFE IS HAVING SEX WITH SOMBODY MAY BE U ARE GOING AFTER GIRLS OR U DONT BRING MONEY AT HOME .

My dear, dis is not a "must comment" for everyone. I am sure u did'nt skip a line in the question which stated..."The question I would like to ask is for the MEN only".

If I never cheated on her, then I will have to terminate her appointment as my wife.There was a fidelity clause when we took our marital vows.

If I never cheated on her like k2039 said, I'll forgive her but won't hesitate to terminate the marriage. As for the man she cheated with, I'll leave him to God to judge. Scripture do say:

Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.

Proverb 6:29 So it is with a man who has sex with his neighbor's wife. None who touch her will escape punishment.

Well, I detest to think about such situation cuz unfaithfulness in marriage is something I detest passionately.

1. First is to confirm the authenticity of whatever way I got to know. I'd make sure I'm sure of it and to do that, I'd work my way into catching her red-handed (don't ask me how I'm gonna do that. That would be a piece of cake to do), plus the fact that I can be very patient in order to satisfy my inquisition. After confirmation, my initial thoughts would be; how long has she been doing this? The thought of this alone brings about infuriation. It would put me into deep imagination of what must have conspired.
2. Upon getting to know this, I won't react negatively at the outset cuz I know how to control my emotions. Buh, inside of me will be full of resentment and anger, which I might not show.
3. I would still continue the marriage cuz I don't believe in divorce (just not in support of it). The thing is, I would NEVER trust her in to-to again and the stigma would always be engraved in my heart. Depending on how much pain it causes, I might be forced to go against my policy of filing a divorce ASAP.
4. The guy involved wouldn't be my concern, and I don't pour my anger on someone I ain't directly involved with. That doesn't mean I won't have a bad feeling against him, buh would never do anything to him.

Generally, I'm a no problem kinda guy and I'd make sure I try to satisfy her as much as I can. You can slap me at a public gathering and I wouldn't care much. You can do one thing or the other and I'd overlook. Buh, to embrace infidelity, it's only God that would determine if we can continue to live under one roof... I pray I never encounter such plight. I'd rather remain single than face such situation.

dmcdad: Well, I detest to think about such situation cuz unfaithfulness in marriage is something I detest passionately.

1. First is to confirm the authenticity of whatever way I got to know. I'd make sure I'm sure of it and to do that, I'd work my way into catching her red-handed (don't ask me how I'm gonna do that. That would be a piece of cake to do), plus the fact that I can be very patient in order to satisfy my inquisition. After confirmation, my initial thoughts would be; how long has she been doing this? The thought of this alone brings about infuriation. It would put me into deep imagination of what must have conspired.
2. Upon getting to know this, I won't react negatively at the outset cuz I know how to control my emotions. Buh, inside of me will be full of resentment and anger, which I might not show.
3. I would still continue the marriage cuz I don't believe in divorce (just not in support of it). The thing is, I would NEVER trust her in to-to again and the stigma would always be engraved in my heart. Depending on how much pain it causes, I might be forced to go against my policy of filing a divorce ASAP.
4. The guy involved wouldn't be my concern, and I don't pour my anger on someone I ain't directly involved with. That doesn't mean I won't have a bad feeling against him, buh would never do anything to him.

Generally, I'm a no problem kinda guy and I'd make sure I try to satisfy her as much as I can. You can slap me at a public gathering and I wouldn't care much. You can do one thing or the other and I'd overlook. Buh, to embrace infidelity, it's only God that would determine if we can continue to live under one roof... I pray I never encounter such plight. I'd rather remain single than face such situation.

Nice one pally. You seem to be a very nice man, but my dear; when stuff happens, then , will u get t know exactly what u are capable of. Like I said earlier, woe betide that guy if he happens to be a friend of mine. MONSTERS ARE MADE not born.

Chynx:

Nice one pally. You seem to be a very nice man, but my dear; when stuff happens, then , will u get t know exactly what u are capable of. Like I said earlier, woe betide that guy if he happens to be a friend of mine. MONSTERS ARE MADE not born.

I understand that when you are confronted by such situations, that's when you'd really know what to do. That was why in my last paragraph I stated the fact that, it would only take the grace of God not to nullify the marriage cuz I know infidelity in marriage it's something I would never do, and as such I wouldn't expect such treatment cuz I'd definitely feel indignant.

I think i would be so furious as to send her packing that very day...as for the man,i would pretend to be a gentleman at first,then go back him in the most devilish way.#candidme

Kyle.:
I think i would be so furious as to send her packing that very day...as for the man,i would pretend to be a gentleman at first,then go back him in the most devilish way.#candidme

Lol @ "candid me"

dmcdad:
I understand that when you are confronted by such situations, that's when you'd really know what to do. That was why in my last paragraph I stated the fact that, it would only take the grace of God not to nullify the marriage cuz I know infidelity in marriage it's something I would never do, and as such I wouldn't expect such treatment cuz I'd definitely feel indignant.

No one prays for that brother, but I have been there...on the other side though. I know exactly how how it feels to lose control of every atom of decency in you in a split second only to be filled with regrets one-too many times. When shit* happens, brace it up and choose ur actions as a man...Life goes on!

Classic movie ....
To the topic, it is unacceptable and unforgiveable for me .... I am sorry!

Its a Hmm case.
If the cheating started sometime in the marriage,then I must have been doing something that pushed her to do what she did. But if it had been before we got married,then I would file for a divorce,because the marriage was based on pretense from onset.

And if it was my actions that led her to doing wjat she did,then she has to answer for her actions,cos she has got the choice to have called my attention to my wrong doings,instead of taking the laws into her hands.if we still leave together in this case,it will be a war zone,till the Lords grace helps us forgive each other.

But what ever the case may be,I would think of the children first,if we have them, before any action,what so ever, is taken.

As for the guy,I don't have anything to do with him,but will keep a tap on his movements.

I am an INTERNALIZER.

what more could i say i'll just kill the wife not the little guy

Chynx:

No one prays for that brother, but I have been there...on the other side though. I know exactly how how it feels to lose control of every atom of decency in you in a split second only to be filled with regrets one-too many times. When shit* happens, brace it up and choose ur actions as a man...Life goes on!

Yeah... When things happen, life goes on irrespective of one's decisions.. The pain is not the problem.. The problem lies between keeping her and sending her away.. Anywayz, I ain't afraid of anything cuz my mind is always prepared to face the worst...

I wouldnt waste my time with the guy.

If my wife was cheating i would really need to look at if I can forgive her, if she is likely to cheat again, what went down during the whole cheating situation before deciding whether to divorce her or not.

Imagine this scenario. She cheats on you with another dude, gets pregnant and the aborts the baby without your knowledge. If you discover all this would divorce not be the likely option.

When I created this post, I was really interested in the men's response to the first question, but going by what I ve read so far, it has really shown me that when a woman cheats on her man, mostly its about the man's pride and ego than the reason she cheated in the first place.

Sienna,did you read my reply,its not always about the guys Ego,its about keeping face when people get to know,ego or not,the family name is soiled.the dilema is how to remedy the situation.

sienna116: When I created this post, I was really interested in the men's response to the first question, but going by what I ve read so far, it has really shown me that when a woman cheats on her man, mostly its about the man's pride and ego than the reason she cheated in the first place.

My dear, if ego is d substance, then it is what it is and we are where we are. Marriage could make a man and a woman "equal" but trust me, there is nothing equal there; for a man remains a man and would never let go of his ego even when he tries to. Every male (Not restricted to humans alone) has been created to be polygamous by nature, with too much territorial ego to protect! Natgeo Wild will tell u more. We humans only try to be modest in our doings. If we have to face the truth, then the ladies would simply have to deal with the bitter fact that has made them much more in number than men.

If you can proof it, then go ahead to divorce her immediately if not you would live to regret it.delay could be dangerous.

badesco: If you can proof it, then go ahead to divorce her immediately if not you would live to regret it.delay could be dangerous.

Spot-on!

Thank you guys for your honest response. But c'mon guys, what happened to forgiveness?

Sometimes love could be the worst experience. you get to love and trust your partner only to feel regret over it. i have been married for 7 years now and i found some sudden change in my partner attitude, i tried talking about it but he complains i'm nagging a lot . i tried to ignore his attitude but it became unbearable so i was advised to hire a hacker to help me gain access to his phone so i had know if he is cheating or not so i was introduced to [ Remote spy hacker @ g m ail . c o m ] and this expert helped me gain access to his phone without his notice. i got to see his messages, photos, call recordings and many more . Now i can see his cheating and that's the reason for the attitude all along.

sienna116:
Thank you guys for your honest response. But c'mon guys, what happened to forgiveness?

You well?

Your business is with your spouse and not with his/lover

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