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How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? - Family (1) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by Callotti: 10:29pm On Dec 21, 2012
Just sit and watch till he or she calms down. I have ALL DAY. kiss
When you are a parent. . . you learn to embarass your own child. kiss
HE OR SHE IS NOT GOING TO WIN THAT TANTRUM FOR SURE!

Na so 'egg' dey take rotten for fridge!

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

1 Like

Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by ronkebp(f): 1:57am On Dec 22, 2012
^^^^^^^ true that!!! grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Welcome to my world. My son is 2 and he feels he owns the whole world when he goes out. i have since passed the stage of worrying when he throws tantrums outside. i Allow him, especially in a place like the mall...when he throws tantrums in the church, i just 'ship' him to the children church. I am patiently waiting till he turns 4, (By God's Grace) by then he will understand better not to misbehave when we go out in public.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by Callotti: 4:25am On Dec 22, 2012
^^^^
Developing a SUPER-THICK SKIN is the best way to handle tantrums.
Just dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeees comot from im side. . . join the spectators dey look am like cinema.
Eim go run come meet you by force when crowd gather and no barry dey by eim side. grin
People go tink say na orphan!
Mu he he he he he

5 Likes

Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by Nov1ce(m): 2:12pm On Dec 22, 2012
candy:

Nobody is advising against smacking your kid, just know that you will only get negative result when
you smack a kid that is throwing a tantrum, wether at home or in public. Smacking there and then will
make the kid more difficult, he'll cry more and you as a mum will not like it.
Believe me, GOOD smacking emphasis on the 'GOOD' will do a whole lot. My last brother was very stubborn, as stubborn as going to about 5 or 6 different nursery and primary schools cause they kept rejecting him when they got fed up, he's once locked my mom in the house before and took the key to school (like nursery school ooooOoO), a friend had to go and beg and bribe him before he dropped the key, cause mumsy had an appointment.
But in the middle of all that, there's a point you beat a stubborn child to that he starts shouting and crying all over the place (most parents stop there...BIG MISTAKE), just take it a little further and the shouts will become silent tears.
And all that don't discipline physically is all crap, my brother is in university currently and has a very healthy self esteem!
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by ronkebp(f): 2:47am On Dec 23, 2012
The truth when it comes to spanking is that kids are different, you will be surprised what works for child A and B will not work for child C. it is all about understanding your child. Some children understand the spoken words or common threats like; "if i catch you enh!!!", others, good spanking will give them a better understanding, for other kids in the third category, take away what they love most and you will see tears and adjustment.

So there is no way a parent will completely not touch for once any of his children, if it is really needed to jolt him back to reality. A friend's daughter came over to my house, this girl is 4 going on 5, but the truth is, i have noticed some ridiculous behaviour like 'lying' and taking things that was not given to her, i can manage anything in a child but to tell lies?? oh!!!!!! and it is as simple as going over my dining table to take the cake that was not given to her, when i asked her she said she did not take it, thinking she could pin it on my child (who does not eat cake or any sweet thing for that matter). My son spilled cereal grains on the floor, she was helping him pick them up and noticed she was stuffing some into her pockets,i overlooked that, she immediately drank her caprisone tossed the empty pack close to where my son was sitting and grabed his own, so i would think my son finished his first, but my son will never finish one caprisone and squeeze the empty pack, he does not know how to do those things yet. I was so angry and irritated, wondering what she would be doing in her own house, hmmmm!!! if she lives with me for only 2 weeks, she will change by force by fire, i can take tantrums and others, but a child to pilfer and lie, the world will come to an end when i start with such a child. angry angry angry angry angry

2 Likes

Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by smartmom(f): 12:09pm On Dec 26, 2012
ronkebp: The truth when it comes to spanking is that kids are different, you will be surprised what works for child A and B will not work for child C. it is all about understanding your child. Some children understand the spoken words or common threats like; "if i catch you enh!!!", others, good spanking will give them a better understanding, for other kids in the third category, take away what they love most and you will see tears and adjustment.

So there is no way a parent will completely not touch for once any of his children, if it is really needed to jolt him back to reality. A friend's daughter came over to my house, this girl is 4 going on 5, but the truth is, i have noticed some ridiculous behaviour like 'lying' and taking things that was not given to her, i can manage anything in a child but to tell lies?? oh!!!!!! and it is as simple as going over my dining table to take the cake that was not given to her, when i asked her she said she did not take it, thinking she could pin it on my child (who does not eat cake or any sweet thing for that matter). My son spilled cereal grains on the floor, she was helping him pick them up and noticed she was stuffing some into her pockets,i overlooked that, she immediately drank her caprisone tossed the empty pack close to where my son was sitting and grabed his own, so i would think my son finished his first, but my son will never finish one caprisone and squeeze the empty pack, he does not know how to do those things yet. I was so angry and irritated, wondering what she would be doing in her own house, hmmmm!!! if she lives with me for only 2 weeks, she will change by force by fire, i can take tantrums and others, but a child to pilfer and lie, the world will come to an end when i start with such a child. angry angry angry angry angry

Its a real problem when friend's kids misbehave and iits difficult to correct them because you think its not in your place to correct them. Recently a friend's kids with appalling manners really got me worked up and I just couldnt help it and just spanked one of them on her back right in front of her mom.

I later wondered if I should have done that since her mom did not thank me or reiterate it, but then again I could not stand to watch her stress the other people's kids who were better trained and get away with it leaving them miserable. Abeg, some parents enh!
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by coogar: 2:39pm On Dec 26, 2012
how to handle a child throwing tantrum in public is to become like them. embarrass them if they embarrass you. the tactic is very easy. simply be like them and watch them blush!

watch this and thank me later....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6XZ-0ns2yA
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by ronkebp(f): 1:38am On Dec 29, 2012
coogar: how to handle a child throwing tantrum in public is to become like them. embarrass them if they embarrass you. the tactic is very easy. simply be like them and watch them blush!

watch this and thank me later....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6XZ-0ns2yA


Lol.......................that is an advert, can that really happen? i can't imagine falling and rolling myself on the floor where the whole world steps on.. grin grin grin grin grin grin that was really funny.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by ronkebp(f): 1:41am On Dec 29, 2012
smartmom:

Its a real problem when friend's kids misbehave and iits difficult to correct them because you think its not in your place to correct them. Recently a friend's kids with appalling manners really got me worked up and I just couldnt help it and just spanked one of them on her back right in front of her mom.

I later wondered if I should have done that since her mom did not thank me or reiterate it, but then again I could not stand to watch her stress the other people's kids who were better trained and get away with it leaving them miserable. Abeg, some parents enh!

you can say that again. God knows i was really angry and was letting it out little by little, the mother noticed the caprisone episode and pounced on the poor girl, and i was like, you have to open your mouth to correct her not beating her to a pulp, i said that (the beating) will only make matters worst. Study your child and know what he/she can do and cannot do.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by minute(f): 3:47am On Dec 29, 2012
When are you out? If you go at times that cut into her naps,snacks,meals or bedtime then s/he is going to be a lot easier to upset
Work around their schedule,don't work against it.

How is her/is communication level? Toddlers anger quickly because they can't express themselves. S/he may point in a direction and
ask questions that you don't get-when she doesn't get a good answer, she gets mad. She tried to tell you, you didn't listen-instant
anger. I know that it isn't that easy, but to a toddler it sure is. Maybe she doesn't want the item, but she just wants to see it or
ask about it. The "no" is because kids hear the word a lot directed at them, it is a little attempt to assert power to tell you no.

In the middle of a fit, there isn't much you can do. The kid is past the point of return and is mad, frustrated and can't communicate.
It is best to say to them " I see you are angry, we will leave now and come back another time". If you are getting signals before it
gets that far, try to avoid the problem. Get on the child's level and ask "are you . . (hungry,wet,thirsty,sleepy" ) and let them
answer you. If s/he says s/he is hungry then get a snack. Don't try to explain when a snack will occur, just get one. And don't
expect more than a child can really do. At 2 or 3 s/he isn't going to sit for an hour for a nice lunch, so don't even try, instaed go
someplace where s/he can get down and run a bit.

And just keep in mind that most pwople with kids have been in your hot sweaty shoes. smiley A kid in meltdown tends to make moms feel
like everyone is looking or they are not good parents. Honestly they are likely thinking " I remember those day..."
Take a deep breath and remain calm.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by JallowBah(f): 6:33am On Dec 29, 2012
All kids get tantrums at times, it goes with their agewink

But, don`t under-estimate kids. They understand a whole lot more than what people seem to think they do. Don`t talk to small kids with babyvoices, treat them like small individuals, and with respect. For us, we started early letting her know crying t get her ways would not work. "Don`t even try, honey, I can hear this is crocodile-tears. Are you finished?" If she did not finished, I would tell her "alright, then we will just leave." And we left.
If she stopped, I gave/give her credit for it, and continued.
We started this when she was around 6months, and now she is 2, and I still use the same approach.

But now, I can also tell her "we are going to the shop. If you act good, and help mama with the shopping, you will get a juice when we finish, ok?"
Take your time, don`t stress, and let the kid help you. Tell them to pick the smaller things from the shelf ( non-break-able.. ) and put in the cart, and give them credit. They learn much from it as wellwink And don`t come with treats about leaving if they don`t behave, and then stay after yelling at them. If you say you will leave when they act bad, leave when they act bad.

And yes, I know going to the marked in Africa is different than going to a supermarked. In the marked in Africa, I just throw her on my back, get what I need fast-fast, get her a banana to eat while she is sitting on me, and leave.

1 Like

Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by Originalsly: 12:04pm On Dec 29, 2012
Hmmm....all this talk about reasoning with a kid. ... nonsense. If at age 4 you can't get your child to blindly follow your instructions then you are failing as a parent....and that child would be a problem wherever he goes....school, church,etc. "Spare the rod and spoil the child"...."bend the tree when it is young" ...am done.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by JallowBah(f): 4:46pm On Dec 29, 2012
Originalsly: Hmmm....all this talk about reasoning with a kid. ... nonsense. If at age 4 you can't get your child to blindly follow your instructions then you are failing as a parent....and that child would be a problem wherever he goes....school, church,etc. "Spare the rod and spoil the child"...."bend the tree when it is young" ...am done.

We are all individuals, and we are so from the moment we are born.
Some are more stubborn than others, some are more filled with smiles and joy than others.
You can not expect things to work the same ways on all kids, but I do NOT agree in beating. A smack on the hand, or the but*, yes. Nothing more than that, no.
When a kid is 4years of age, they understand what it means to have f.ex privileges taken away from them. Use that instead of beating.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by smartmom(f): 6:10pm On Dec 31, 2012
JallowBah: All kids get tantrums at times, it goes with their agewink

But, don`t under-estimate kids. They understand a whole lot more than what people seem to think they do. Don`t talk to small kids with babyvoices, treat them like small individuals, and with respect. For us, we started early letting her know crying t get her ways would not work. "Don`t even try, honey, I can hear this is crocodile-tears. Are you finished?" If she did not finished, I would tell her "alright, then we will just leave." And we left.
If she stopped, I gave/give her credit for it, and continued.
We started this when she was around 6months, and now she is 2, and I still use the same approach.

But now, I can also tell her "we are going to the shop. If you act good, and help mama with the shopping, you will get a juice when we finish, ok?"
Take your time, don`t stress, and let the kid help you. Tell them to pick the smaller things from the shelf ( non-break-able.. ) and put in the cart, and give them credit. They learn much from it as wellwink And don`t come with treats about leaving if they don`t behave, and then stay after yelling at them. If you say you will leave when they act bad, leave when they act bad.

And yes, I know going to the marked in Africa is different than going to a supermarked. In the marked in Africa, I just throw her on my back, get what I need fast-fast, get her a banana to eat while she is sitting on me, and leave.

Hmm the older siblings were more cooperative I tell you. Methinks my 'starch' has become 'diluted 'with these later kids sad
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by freshdude2(m): 6:37pm On Dec 31, 2012
Richfella: Conditioning 101: What gets rewarded gets done!

If you cave and reward the behaviour by providing your kid what they want when they throw tantrums, how do you expect them to stop.

WTF, do you care about the fickle opinions of random strangers in a mall or wherever.

Once you kid learns that a silly tantrum is TOTALLY unacceptable and will be punished or ignored, the behaviour will disappear cool.
I tire for all this 'modern' methods. My 2yo son realised that his mom wouldn't treat his fcck up in public and exploited it to the fullest until we started going out together. He tried his stunts one day and was greatly disappointed by my non-conformity. Needless to say he is the epitome of comportment now, all it takes is a raise of my eyebrows. No time abeg, these children know very well what they do.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by JallowBah(f): 8:08pm On Dec 31, 2012
fresh_dude: I tire for all this 'modern' methods. My 2yo son realised that his mom wouldn't treat his fcck up in public and exploited it to the fullest until we started going out together. He tried his stunts one day and was greatly disappointed by my non-conformity. Needless to say he is the epitome of comportment now, all it takes is a raise of my eyebrows. No time abeg, these children know very well what they do.

I think many people make the mistake in thinking kids do NOT know exactly what they are doing. They start testing the limits very, very early, to see what they are allowed, and not allowed, to do. Too many mothers come with threats they never follow through ( i.e. saying they will leave the store if the kid does not stop, and when the kid does not stop, they continue shopping. ). Everything has consequenses, and even small kids around 1 year, and younger, need to see that.
Re: How To Handle A Child's Tantrum In Public? by babymama3: 10:28pm On Dec 31, 2012
Ha children!
How I did it without committing murder only God knows grin grin grin
Children will irritate your last nerve
How many times did I reach with one hand from the driver's seat to give someone a knock on their head and they will dodge grin
How many times did I threaten to park on the side of the road and punch somebody grin
How many times did I swear that I would never ever go out to the store with them again grin

I have two sets of kids separated by some years

The older group gives me great comfort that they do eventually turn out right wink so all our screaming is not in vain grin

So OP,people have given you many good tips here
Do some of your shopping with the kids at home and save yourself the headache.
You can hardly reason or bargain with an 18 month old or two year old,once in a while they will be naughty,comes with that territory

They do grow up eventually trust me,they do wink
This season shall pass
Just today I was sorting out clothes for Salvation Army and came across a long forgotten bag in the attic with my son's baby's clothes shocked shocked
I took a picture of his little baby shoes awwwwwww!!!
I was filled with nostalgia reminiscing
Enjoy the babies sweetie


Cheers.


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