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How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. - Romance (1) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Nobody: 11:44am On Dec 21, 2012
Slowsteper: @Op Der are times wen luv myt nt jst be enuf; to make marriage work. I tink u shuld go 4 d 2nd, nt becos of ha virginity status bt becos of ha attitude. Allow d 1st 2 grow up nd as 4 d 3rd, shez jst putting up all dat cos shez desperate. Mind u neva 4get dat none is perfect
are you my girlfriend? we reason alike
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Input(m): 11:54am On Dec 21, 2012
2sexy: I wouldnt blame the OP at all.

Some girls just need to learn their lessons the hard way.

Op if I were in your shoes, I will take the one that give me much attention, committment, etc.

The one that wants to work out things and willing to make sacrifices. You will have a hard time schooling the first and it obvious that she isnt matured. Therefore let life teach her some maturity.

The last thing I would want to do at this stage of my life is begging someone to give me that needed attention.
If am d op I will go with this.

The first one is still immature and will want to explore anyhow she want.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by 2sexy(m): 12:08pm On Dec 21, 2012
bolof2000: The third seems to always talk about marriage and this is getting pissed off even though i know i want to settle down. But the situation when a woman always talk about the ring. thats hard to deal with.
yeah... it is better to let things happen naturally. I hope you have made arrangement to pay her for the furniture and spicing of your apartment. Please factor that in when you want to let her go, else it will be devastating.

1 Like

Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Nobody: 12:13pm On Dec 21, 2012
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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by bukatyne(f): 12:26pm On Dec 21, 2012
bolof2000: Hello guys..so i have this issue that has been disturbing me and i am close to losing focus at work.I have three serious relationship.I didn't intend to have all these relationships but the first girl started acting up,i started trying out other women.
First Lady: She is 23,we have been dating for 3 years,i have met her family.She is beautiful.But she has allot of immaturity stuffs.We have also had trust issue before and this still keep affecting us.She is the one i still really have full feelings for.But she has alot of attitude issues and her mum keep saying i should give her time that she will change.
Second Lady: Due to the nonchalant attitude of the first girl, i started dating even though the first relationship is still on,the second girl is very fine,tall and very homely.She is also from my Village which makes everyone in my house to like her.she is still a Virgin and she is 24 years old. I dont have intention to sleep with her until i am sure i want to ring her.
Third Lady: she is 26 years old,the most generous lady i have ever met. we started dating without even me noticing. she started committing,I had just moved into a new apartment,and i was stack broke, she took it upon herself to do all my Kitchen Furnishing,she is talking serious, she wants marriage obviously.I like her personality.
Now, my problem is,the first girl is the person my heart really wants,she is d person that i worry about most night. We haven't spoken in four days.She has accused me of not trusting her and that she is just worried things will get rough.
Despite these two other girls,i still cant stop missing or thinking about the first girl.
Should i just let the first girl go and deal with the two other girls? I am tempted to call the first girl but i do not even know how to start the conversation again.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by bukatyne(f): 12:30pm On Dec 21, 2012
bolof2000: Hello guys..so i have this issue that has been disturbing me and i am close to losing focus at work.I have three serious relationship.I didn't intend to have all these relationships but the first girl started acting up,i started trying out other women.
First Lady: She is 23,we have been dating for 3 years,i have met her family.She is beautiful.But she has allot of immaturity stuffs.We have also had trust issue before and this still keep affecting us.She is the one i still really have full feelings for.But she has alot of attitude issues and her mum keep saying i should give her time that she will change.
Second Lady: Due to the nonchalant attitude of the first girl, i started dating even though the first relationship is still on,the second girl is very fine,tall and very homely.She is also from my Village which makes everyone in my house to like her.she is still a Virgin and she is 24 years old. I dont have intention to sleep with her until i am sure i want to ring her.
Third Lady: she is 26 years old,the most generous lady i have ever met. we started dating without even me noticing. she started committing,I had just moved into a new apartment,and i was stack broke, she took it upon herself to do all my Kitchen Furnishing,she is talking serious, she wants marriage obviously.I like her personality.
Now, my problem is,the first girl is the person my heart really wants,she is d person that i worry about most night. We haven't spoken in four days.She has accused me of not trusting her and that she is just worried things will get rough.
Despite these two other girls,i still cant stop missing or thinking about the first girl.
Should i just let the first girl go and deal with the two other girls? I am tempted to call the first girl but i do not even know how to start the conversation again.
What happens when your wife starts acting up? you have another woman outside? You don't love any one of them and I wonder if these women know that you have backup... When you are ready to marry, end all your relationships or have a 'break' and start all over again.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by bukatyne(f): 12:30pm On Dec 21, 2012
apocalypse: The point is you don't even love any of the three girls and I doubt you even know what love is. What special thing do you feel for any of them ? Nothing convinces me you love one of them.
+1,000
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by try69(m): 2:12pm On Dec 21, 2012
@op I need to knock u on the head. Maybe you will understand what a good mannered lady is worth when after marrying the first lady, you get re-occuring MIGRAINS..I thought maybe twas beauty that was gonna make you choose the first until the said the 2nd and even 3rd are equally beautiful..For me, the first geh will be last on my scale of preference while the 3rd second.

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by bolof2000(m): 2:19pm On Dec 21, 2012
try69: @op I need to knock u on the head. Maybe you will understand what a good mannered lady is worth when after marrying the first lady, you get re-occuring MIGRAINS..I thought maybe twas beauty that was gonna make you choose the first until the said the 2nd and even 3rd are equally beautiful..For me, the first geh will be last on my scale of preference while the 3rd second.
what if i still Love the first one? I know love is not enough to make this decision.But i know i still have so much of the first to drop even if i have to move on to either the second or the third
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by claremont(m): 2:22pm On Dec 21, 2012
Guy, marry the 3rd lady. Free money! grin
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by 2sexy(m): 2:29pm On Dec 21, 2012
bolof2000: what if i still Love the first one? I know love is not enough to make this decision.But i know i still have so much of the first to drop even if i have to move on to either the second or the third
I think the only thing here is because you have spent a longer time with the first.

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by try69(m): 2:46pm On Dec 21, 2012
bolof2000: what if i still Love the first one? I know love is not enough to make this decision.But i know i still have so much of the first to drop even if i have to move on to either the second or the third
I see you are so involved with her family and don't wanna ruin that..well, one day it will be just the two of you and no third party..think well

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Nobody: 5:01pm On Dec 21, 2012
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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by 1920MaMa: 6:09pm On Dec 21, 2012
bolof2000: The third seems to always talk about marriage and this is getting pissed off even though i know i want to settle down. But the situation when a woman always talk about the ring.thats hard to deal with.

wetin you expect from a 26yr old?
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by 1920MaMa: 6:22pm On Dec 21, 2012
go for the second, if she has wat you're looking for in a woman. my brother, life is too short to live with a nagging wife.
as for the desperate third, look for a way to end it b4 it's too late.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by atbu1983(m): 6:56pm On Dec 21, 2012
The second girl. The second girl. The second girl. The second girl. The second girl. The second girl. The second girl. The second girl. If u get ear, hear me. I don talk my own. D first girl na complete error. The third may b faking because she is desperate. The seconf girl is d best option.

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by UjSizzle(f): 8:37pm On Dec 21, 2012
What you 'want' isn't always what you 'need'. From your analysis of the 3 girls, the 2nd is really who you should get married to.

If someone you've dated for 3yrs still has trust issues with you, i don't see how it's gonna get any better in the future. Let her go.

The 3rd girl furnishing and remodeling your home is obviously desperate enough to sink in her talons on you, and u keep giving her the perfect opportunities. Next thing you know u're feeling indebted to her. Cut ties as gently as you can.

You may not be in love with the 2nd girl, but then love doesn't happen overnight. You'll learn to respect her, trust her, depend on her and eventually you'll realise you've fallen in love with her. Just give attention and give this relationship time.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by olas2u: 11:00pm On Dec 21, 2012
look before you leap
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by mafioso47(m): 11:09pm On Dec 21, 2012
lola.luv:
Na wa!
If this was a woman now, she'd be called all sorts....
Men hav d sole right to choose. Its a Man dat finds a Wife not a Woman finding a Husband. Not being gender insensitive. Buh dats just d way it is. *wink*
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Joliecoco: 11:47pm On Dec 21, 2012
First of all you are not ready to be anyone husband, you are cheating on your girlfriend with these two girls. Maybe ,you should examine your life before you thinkabout marriage.

1 Like

Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by IbrahimB: 11:59pm On Dec 21, 2012
The house has spoken: go for the second girl wink.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by pcguru1(m): 12:04am On Dec 22, 2012
In Relationship with three women, chai dude where's the integrity, anyway stringing 3 women along is not cool, besides you are really confused, no one here can make a decision for you, its up to you, because its you that will shoulder the whole responsibility of marriage, but let's be sincere the double Standards in Nairaland is too high, if the poster were a lady peeps like 190, born to Bleep, Okija juju would ave been screaming typical nigeriann girls you can't trust them, oh sorry only 190 does that, but the rest will tackle, don't be biased.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by pcguru1(m): 12:05am On Dec 22, 2012
mafioso47: Men hav d sole right to choose. Its a Man dat finds a Wife not a Woman finding a Husband. Not being gender insensitive. Buh dats just d way it is. *wink*
ehmmm pls don't use the Bible to support cheating thanks, you can use the other book. wink

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by aydriano: 12:18am On Dec 22, 2012
Guy if u aint sure abt d first gal drop her and focus on d oda 2.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by IbrahimB: 12:58am On Dec 22, 2012
pc guru: ehmmm pls don't use the Bible to support cheating thanks, you can use the other book. wink
And which is the 'other book' that supports cheating?
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Kirinwa: 3:39am On Dec 22, 2012
I would choose 3 lady if I were you.Try to find out if she's doing it because she cares or because of marriage.She's been encouraging and supportive. Active is the word.Go for it.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Kirinwa: 3:57am On Dec 22, 2012
bolof2000: i am not selfish.the first lady started the whole problem,she wasnt communicating enough,she was highly immature,she just felt relax that she already got me and so wasnt doing anything. I have never cheated on her,her behavior made me to start looking at other girls,because i wasnt sure where she wants to be.

Not an excuse. What if you were married to her?Did you discuss these issues with her?
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by oyinbogirl(f): 3:59am On Dec 22, 2012
Why is it the 3rd lady is desperate simply cos she buy him things? She is probably a generous type, they do exist you know? If i had money i would spoil my guy no doubt. And if she loves him, whats wrong in marriage anyways? Isnt that where we're all mostly headed anyway? Dont know why this guy had to be double dating or would that be triple dating? so wrong on so many levels. He is window shopping, he better take good look at sef sharp

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by mafioso47(m): 10:19pm On Dec 22, 2012
pc guru: ehmmm pls don't use the Bible to support cheating thanks, you can use the other book. wink
lolz no nau. The guy in question isn't married yet. He's just got a problem of choosing.. And its not cheating, preferring one over the other. Wah am sayn is Men hav d right to choose who to marry. Women too buh most importantly men.
Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by pfii: 9:35am On Dec 23, 2012
So d 3rd babe used her "hard earned currency" to put ur kitchen in a nice shape. And now u wanna marry som1 else who will use d kitchen utensils to cook food that u will eat.......If I were d 3rd babe.......I will swear for u that d food that ur wife will use those my kitchen utensils to cook turn to poison in ur belle o......Mscheeew

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Osareime(f): 1:54pm On Dec 23, 2012
All the while you knew you might not marry the third girl and you allowed her spend on you and waste time you know she regards as precious.

If the first girl loves and respects you she would listen and learn and overcome her immaturity if the love is real and you are both committed to making it work.

If you're not sure you have the time and energy to build the first girl up or if you are not sure of her LOVEand RESPECT for you or COMMITTMENT to make the relationship work from the both of you then the second girl is a safer option.

I don't even know what to say for the third girl except that you were unfair to her.

Bear in mind that no wife or girlfriend is perfect and the best things usually require hard work.

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Re: How To Choose My Wife To Be Among These Three Ladies. by Nextworldnx(m): 2:06pm On Dec 23, 2012
Op, U are a very lucky Guy, ya trust me, u are very lucky. This is not a predicament but a blessing in disguise. I understand how u feel right now because every man wants a Happy marriage where in future he will not develop High BP because of his wife's attitude and decision. The opportunity(which u call problem) bfore u is what many bachelors can only dream of. I will advise u on how to solve this riddle peacefully.

U must understand that so far, d ball has been in ur court and dats why its been difficult for u to make a decision, and blive me, considering d level ur relAtionships are with dis girls now, No man can make a logical pick/decision.
So what do u do?
U push d ball back into their courts and make urself the game or prize to be won. Whoever plays the game best wins u. U see dat way, making a decision at that time becomes easy, why? Because one or two of them will be reluctant or might lose interest or might just show u her true Colour. I will analyse each of them and then step ahead a little further to show u how to push the ball into their courts.

Girl 1: Its not her fault that she is having issues with u now, d others might as well if u had stay dis long with them too. The problem wit her is her emotions and mood swings,trust me, her emotions is "running riot" at dis Age of her life. And dis emotions is making decisions for her rite now,as well affecting her relationships with people including u who happens to be her boyfriend of 3 years.
Possibility of her being a Good or Bad wife: 50/50
The only reason u still think about her is that u have stayed longer with her.

Verdict: To control her emotions, Be her leader, u can talk to her alittle(tho talking will do her no good,she might not even want to listen to u) but allow nature and life experience handle her for u. If she learns(and fast enough before d other two), she will come to apologise.

Girl 2: All what u describe about her might be her true nature but can as well might be that she is faking it hoping it might help her tie any man down for marriage and kaboom! Before u know it,in marriage her true colour surfaces (now we don't want that,do we?). U must also know that it takes a whole lot of will power to remain a virgin at her age and in this generation. Such will power will come into play when she is now married to u and she happens to become a "bad" or "troublesome" wife. God help u, High BP will be ur middle name because she will flaunt ur decisions,orders and suggestions without batting an eyelid(trust me, I have dated her kind). But if with this her xters, she becomes a good wife, then ur home will be the next place to heaven because u will enjoy her.

Possibility of her being a Good or Bad wife: 50/50

Verdict: If she passes ur litmus test, pick her even when others passes as well.

Girl 3: she came in a flash and she is supportive and all of that, and who told u that she can't disappear dsame way she appeared-In a flash? With all she came with? Am not saying she will, am equally not say she won't?

Possibility of her being a Good or Bad wife: 50/50

Verdict: She is a girl, and girls will at some point in a relationship give u headache, d only reason u haven't seen hers yet is because u guys haven't been together for dat long yet.

...................................................................

Litmus Test

U must be ready to ACT this out and be real, No bleeping up, they must not know that u are Testing them! Else ur own don finish.

Call each one or whenever each of them comes over to ur house(make sure its ur house), become extremely sober, worried and disturbed. Do not talk, just keep to urself at all times, let them be d one to force u to open up, even at that, don't open up easily. Ask them whether they love u and whether what they feel for is true and its for real. After their assurances, Open up ur well crooked up lies about anything bad u can come up with. It could be HIV, SS or financial problem, jst anything or problem dat span into the future but is solvable through prayer. Make sure its a lie,make whatever problem u want to lie about is a Lie I.e make sure u don't truly have it.
Now after telling them the problem,remain sober for atleast for 3 weeks. During that period, don't contact them and don't appear happy as well, just to look real. Observe each of them, during that period and see for urself d true nature of those who claim to love u. After 3 weeks, become ur normal self and observe the last 2 or 1 standing for 3 months.
My guy, during these period, u are d prize and the ball is in their court to win u.

U can thank me later.

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