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My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Getting Married In 2 Months - Why Does He Distrust Me So Much? / Your Boyfriend Is Not Your Atm / What Do I Give My Boyfriend On His Birthday? (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by jelilifolaji: 7:00am On Dec 26, 2012
Something bothers me about ur story here...how old re u guyz when u started dating...and how old re u now? Cos can't imagine d age u re now since u dated for 11yrs and nothing to show for it. Except ur story is cooked up somewhere...something is really wrong with d write-up. Don't know If anyone observe dis
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by r231(m): 7:05am On Dec 26, 2012
^^^^^11yrs ago is 2001 so technically they are in their late 30s undecided
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Iaz93: 7:09am On Dec 26, 2012
So ur boyfriend don marry! Aeeyyaah! Chai!
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by dayokanu(m): 7:10am On Dec 26, 2012
r231: ^^^^^11yrs ago is 2001 so technically they are in their late 30s undecided

A 21 yr old girl in 2001 would be like 33 now

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by binigirl(f): 7:10am On Dec 26, 2012
Dear OP, I dnt kno how true ur story is and ur so called Igbo guy is nt here 2 defend himself but 4rm wat I av read, I tink u should confront ur guy and if possible try 2 do some digging around 2 find out the truth. Wateva u get 4rm dat, u can den act upon.
I tink dis is a lesson 2 all non-nigerians out there, if u r datin a nigerian guy or any guy who is not 4rm ur country, try 2 do some research 2 know more about d guy b4 giving him d best years of ur life.
Dis is my 2 cents
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Asiwaju9ja(m): 7:15am On Dec 26, 2012
huni_naija:

If polygamy should be legalised.. Then the law's of the land should develop a law whereby the first wife gets to keep the house and all the properties they had if she doesn't agree with it.. Simples grin angry
Is it all about property? Men done suffer
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by MainAttraction(f): 7:24am On Dec 26, 2012
I think the same thing happened to me. I dated an Igbo guy who was 10 years older than me. I was young (19), in college, and we met at our mutual job. I kept it a secret for many months, until my friends (alot of whom are Nigerian) found out, and many warned me that he was probably after papers/citizenship. My family also found out, and my dad WAS NOT happy, he is super over-protective. Anyway, I claimed I was in love with him, but as time went out, I realized that he was probably married in Nigeria, when I met him he had just moved to US. He always talked about us getting married, even though we had been 'dating' only a few months. He was very very secretive about his family, as he stayed with his sister and her family, and I never met them, that was another sign. There were just many warning signs, that I ignored, until finally his insane jealousy took it over the top. I was going to Uni in another city, and he would go crazy if he thought he heard a male voice in the background, even though I would be in a busy public place, with many voices in the background.

Now, that I'm 22, graduated Uni, and more mature I realize what was happening. Anyway, I do sympathize with you because when we believe we're in 'love', we will ignore everything and believe anything.

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by dayokanu(m): 7:32am On Dec 26, 2012
MainAttraction: I think the same thing happened to me. I dated an Igbo guy who was 10 years older than me. I was young (19), in college, and we met at our mutual job. I kept it a secret for many months, until my friends (alot of whom are Nigerian) found out, and many warned me that he was probably after papers/citizenship. My family also found out, and my dad WAS NOT happy, he is super over-protective. Anyway, I claimed I was in love with him, but as time went out, I realized that he was probably married in Nigeria, when I met him he had just moved to US. He always talked about us getting married, even though we had been 'dating' only a few months. He was very very secretive about his family, as he stayed with his sister and her family, and I never met them, that was another sign. There were just many warning signs, that I ignored, until finally his insane jealousy took it over the top. I was going to Uni in another city, and he would go crazy if he thought he heard a male voice in the background, even though I would be in a busy public place, with many voices in the background.

Now, that I'm 22, graduated Uni, and more mature I realize what was happening. Anyway, I do sympathize with you because when we believe we're in 'love', we will ignore everything and believe anything.


Hmmm your story sounds familiar, Like the one a friend told me before.

Yours was different you were young and impressionable which we all are, But not for this poster who I believe should be in her 30's even her daughter who might be teenage could decode the motive.

Ok never mind I checked your profile pic. How was Xmas and the snow today? I couldnt go out at all today stayed indoors all through.

How about you?
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by MainAttraction(f): 7:35am On Dec 26, 2012
dayokanu:

Hmmm your story sounds familiar, Like the one a friend told me before.

Ok never mind I checked your profile pic. How was Xmas and the snow today? I couldnt go out at all roday stayed indoors all through.

How about you?

DAYO! Haha, because it's me silly tongue I couldn't remember my old username and password, so I made a new one. We couldn't either, I'm just glad there was snow, I honestly didn't think it would stick though, the weather surprised me grin
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by dayokanu(m): 7:37am On Dec 26, 2012
MainAttraction:

DAYO! Haha, because it's me silly tongue I couldn't remember my old username and password, so I made a new one. We couldn't either, I'm just glad there was snow, I honestly didn't think it would stick though, the weather surprised me grin

You dont remember your username? Ok let me remind you

http://www.nairaland.com/gangstaboo

Hows preparation for Law School going? Miss Fresh graduate
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by MainAttraction(f): 7:44am On Dec 26, 2012
dayokanu:

You dont remember your username? Ok let me remind you

http://www.nairaland.com/gangstaboo

Hows preparation for Law School going? Miss Fresh graduate

Ahhh, now I do, I can't believe I chose gangstaboo though haha shocked shocked! Now there is the problem of trying to remember my password, but I guess I can always try to reset it.

Erm well, I've been kind of taking of break because of the holidays and being tired from finals, it's only been like a week since I've graduated, even though it seems so far away. I'm working on the applications now and just have to write my personal statement, and get my recommendations in; I take the LSAT in Feb though, so wish me luck! I will be hitting the books hard again, starting tomorrow, thanks for asking! tongue grin
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by seedord247(m): 7:49am On Dec 26, 2012
Chloe? undecided
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by MainAttraction(f): 7:54am On Dec 26, 2012
seedord247: Chloe? undecided

Ahh, How do you know my name? shocked shocked
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by IZUKWU(m): 7:59am On Dec 26, 2012
Namzgurl: Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for almost eleven years and I love him very much. I am African American and he is Nigerian (Igbo) he inspired me to go back to school when I first met him, now I am an RN. He happens to be a doctor here in US. We have gone on many trips but none to Nigeria. I have never met anyone from his family and he has a sister that lives about 30Min away from him whom he says he is not close with. I spend quite a bit of time at his home but he has never left me alone there nor do I have a key, but he doesn't have one to my place either. About 7 years ago he told me his sisters didn't approve of our relationship and we decided to end it we both hugged and cried. I was devastated, Three months went by and he called me telling me he loved me and missed me and didn't want to lose me. So, During this time a friend of mine told me she seen him and another women at the post office together. So about 2 weeks later he showed up at my door and we went to dinner to talk and ended up being intimate that night. That same night I noticed a ring on his finger and Said what did u go and get married and he said no it was a gift his sister bought him and since I have never seen it again. Since we got back together back in 2007 he has consistently tried to get me to gave a baby, but i refuse. My daughter has often said she thinks he is married and I feel it is true,he goes home once a year for 6 weeks. I have asked him and he denies it. So, recently I was on his computer at his home and it got a virus, I told him I would take it the following day to the computer store to get it removed. I know if you look for stuff u will find it. Well, I was on his computer and I opened up 2 files and one was a marriage certificate from the church in Nigeria (Enugu) and it was dated 2007 and the other was a passport showing his true age he is 10 years older than he told me he was which I'm ok with the age but why lie and married. I am torn and why doesn't his wife live here? I need advice, I so love this man and he babies me and is so affectionate. Who can live a double life and what if I would have had a baby, he is not going to leave his wife. Help!!!
so what did you want out of this man and this relationship? Marriage ? Or children ? Or companionship ? . Companionship you have had for eleven years and from your posts am not seeing anything that indicates that you wanted marriage or children. If has two women now in his life and you know what? you do not have a legal standing in his life. I suggest you confront him . No need overflogging this issue. Talk to your man ,only him has all the answers.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by jaymichael(m): 8:05am On Dec 26, 2012
seriously, it is hard for an African man to dey just nice. if you see the one wey nice, just manage am with his fault as long you love him.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by seedord247(m): 8:05am On Dec 26, 2012
MainAttraction:

Ahh, How do you know my name? shocked shocked

Drop it low.. since you mentioned igbo man and other stuff like graduate, law... Btw.. Are you tryin to tracce your root on Nl.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Bright2(m): 8:15am On Dec 26, 2012
Sometimes men marry who they don't love & date their real love i just can't tell why. I feel for you cause breaking up now can be expensive,the probability of having this man as yours is just 20%,very poor! Well,let love decide it for you cause we might give you the wrong answer.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by MainAttraction(f): 8:17am On Dec 26, 2012
seedord247:

Drop it low.. since you mentioned igbo man and other stuff like graduate, law... Btw.. Are you tryin to tracce your root on Nl.

Still didn't tell me how you knew it?? Oh no, I just joined a couple of years ago to learn about Nigeria and its culture; I was fascinated.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Nobody: 8:22am On Dec 26, 2012
Namzgurl: Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for almost eleven years and I love him very much.
this right here just killed me grin
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by RedLight1: 8:25am On Dec 26, 2012
dayokanu:

I think she was the one who benefitted more from the relationship, She gets regular sex from a responsible man, Not one who would steal her money, beat her up, go to jail or cop a felony.

This guy even brought her life back on track Who knows where she might be without this man in her life? Maybe one her 7th baby, In jail without a career and just another stat of a failed coloured person in USA

this i agree.. Harsh buh true... Even if they didnt end up with each other... She should be forever greatful she met sum1 like him
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by seedord247(m): 8:27am On Dec 26, 2012
MainAttraction:

Still didn't tell me how you knew it?? Oh no, I just joined a couple of years ago to learn about Nigeria and its culture; I was fascinated.

My regards to tiffany and samara. tongue

And if you are thinkin of gettin married to nigerian.... Always ask of hid tribe, if he's from the place you mentioned earlier... Kindky fly first class out of the relationship. angry
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Nobody: 8:31am On Dec 26, 2012
Red-Light:
this i agree.. Harsh buh true... Even if they didnt end up with each other... She should be forever greatful she met sum1 like him
now u know ur time-pusher boyfriend is not the only wicked nigerian man out there
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by lolaluv1(f): 8:36am On Dec 26, 2012
shymexx:

Bro., I'm not in a position to give suggestions because I don't know how deep their love is and what they've been through together... True love is very powerful and 11 years isn't a joke...

The OP should know what's best for her and there aren't too many good guys out there... grin

So, the "devil" she knows might be better than all the other "angels" out there... grin

@Shymexx
This statement of yours has to be sarcasm.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by andyanders: 8:39am On Dec 26, 2012
Baby, he already got a wife and no doubt about that. Though he wanna be funny and stu-pid with you for not been straight with you. Better decide what you guys want.either you keeping stroking and azzing yourselves or you quit. I know you knew what you better want hence you still love to be with him but for real, he already married and he doesnt want his wife to also know his pranks.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Nobody: 8:41am On Dec 26, 2012
Namzgurl: what if I would have had a baby, he is not going to leave his wife. Help!!!
let's apply common sense here...he got married way after u started dating, he has never introduced u to his family and in ur lil head u still thinks he loves u
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by jerseyboy: 8:42am On Dec 26, 2012
kitty kat: Be strong and move on. From the responses you see, you can see that in Nigeria, women are always blamed when a relationship goes wrong. I do not blame you cos I can relate to your situation. That's Nigerian men for you. Polygamy is openly accepted in Nigeria and so the ppl never blame the man when he cheats.


I feel your pain dearie. For your own good, leave 9ja men alone. You ar not emotionally trained to handle their dramas. Unfaithfulness is legal in 9ja. Please find your own ppl. Thanks

SPOILSPORT. @OP Ignore all the advise from women posters.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by RedLight1: 8:43am On Dec 26, 2012
mondi_cheeks: now u know ur time-pusher boyfriend is not the only wicked nigerian man out there
how does that make me a wicked nigerian? grin
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by lolaluv1(f): 8:45am On Dec 26, 2012
Op.
You mentioned having a daughter. What are you teaching her about men and relationships? What example are you setting?

You have been hoodwinked for 11 years and your post is the best you could come up with?

Just so you know, you've been had. You're the side chick. The main one is the one he put a ring on her finger.

You can either settle for that, or pick up what dignity you have left and do what you have to do.

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by otokx(m): 8:45am On Dec 26, 2012
11 years looks a lot because standard of living in Nigeria is low. Life expectancy is below 60 or so.
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by MainAttraction(f): 8:48am On Dec 26, 2012
seedord247:

My regards to tiffany and samara. tongue

And if you are thinkin of gettin married to nigerian.... Always ask of hid tribe, if he's from the place you mentioned earlier... Kindky fly first class out of the relationship. angry

wtf?
Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Nobody: 8:49am On Dec 26, 2012
Muhehehe.

*sips coffee*

Re: My Boyfriend Is Married In Nigeria! by Nobody: 8:50am On Dec 26, 2012
seedord247:

My regards to tiffany and samara. tongue

And if you are thinkin of gettin married to nigerian.... Always ask of hid tribe, if he's from the place you mentioned earlier... Kindky fly first class out of the relationship. angry

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