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If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Should Your Man Tell You He Cheated? / Would You Tell Your Spouse You Cheated If The Lord Asks You To? / Why I Cheated On My Husband (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by PStylish: 6:51pm On Dec 28, 2012
By God's grace my future wife won't/can't cheat on me. Why?

I've told her point blank that I regard her ex calling her for any reason whatsoever as adultery on her part. Whether she picks the call or not is irrelevant here.

I've also made it crystal clear to her that such things rather than make me jealous and want to keep her, will do the exact opposite.

Hence,I've ordered her to stop all ex(es) from calling her by any means possible.Otherwise, there will be consequences.

Thank God,she has obliged me. So far, so good.

Shiit that wont be taken in marriage should be rejected in courtship!!!
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by PStylish: 6:59pm On Dec 28, 2012
blessed4ever: You must forgive your spouse, and pray for the salvation of his or her soul. Divorce is not permitted by God, and never an option.

When infidelity creeps into a marriage, the divorce button gets activated.

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by searay(m): 6:59pm On Dec 28, 2012
Is adultery different from any other sin like lying etc?
As for me, I will contact ICC because
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Love covers everything.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by WhyAWhy(m): 7:08pm On Dec 28, 2012
I'd prefer that someone who has experienced this come here to share how they handled it. undecided undecided

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by WhyAWhy(m): 7:10pm On Dec 28, 2012
Truckpusher: YOU'RE LIVING IN A FOOLS PARADISE.

Hail the king of the fools paradise
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by modelmike7(m): 7:39pm On Dec 28, 2012
wazlee: 4give & 4get simple
. . . . . . . Its not that easy or simple bro. . . . . . . . . For me, that is simply the end of the union. No Trust Or Love Can Stand Again. I'll Simply let her go. Cos I av promised God, the day i get married to my wife, that is the end of any other woman (intimate-wise) in my life. So I believe i deserve that much. Any other sins could be forgiven But, INFIDELITY, the only Unforgiven word in my Dictionary, cos their is NOTHING she will want as a wife that i wont provide for her (God's helping) financially, materially, sexually et al!! But some men & women can never be satisfy no matter what. Thats why you can hear about a multi billionaire wife 'sleeping' with her driver or their gate man. Tufiakwa!!!
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by SAFO(m): 7:39pm On Dec 28, 2012
Billyonaire: If my spouse cheats, I reward her with a brand new house. I have already had that in mind. New House and some millions to live good and away from me. So i can enjoy myself and once in a while come and tab away match. Truth is, marriage is overated. I dont think I can risk my kids future of togetherness cos a woman cheated. I will keep her for the sake of my kids but she will be just another woman.

This is exactly the feeling I have and what prompted me to create this thread. Except minus the overrated part. Thing is i love my wife dearly but if she cheats, she's just another woman to me. At that point she might as well sleep with the entire male population because I could care less.


My kids on the other hand, that one na anotha story. My father was there for me my entire life up until he passed away a couple of years ago. (R.I.P. I love you pops.) so how can I look myself in the mirror and abandon my kids? Na lie, that would never happen. Even at the cost of me being miserable, I would never contemplate leaving them to be reared in a single parent household, or even god forbid another man. Everything my father taught me would have been for naught.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by onatisi(m): 7:43pm On Dec 28, 2012
i will be the happiest man in the world
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by dmcdad: 8:01pm On Dec 28, 2012
Arghhhh..... This is one thing I detest with passion...

Like I always say, the only thing that would be done to me by my wife that will be stigmatized in my heart is infidelity. There is one thing I continue to beg the almighty God for, that I don't experience it in my marriage. I'd choose single life forever over an unfaithful wife...

At this juncture I can't really tell what I would do as regards the marriage, but going by my kinda nature, I would love to forgive her. But where the problem lies is that, unfaithfulness is something that is unforgettable to me. My wife can slap me at a public place and do something worse than that and I won't take it to heart, even though I know it will get me pissed. But, to be unfaithful to me? I don't pray it happens because even though I would gladly forgive her, erasing it from my memories would be one difficult thing to do.

Anywayz, I pray I never have such frustrating experience in life , for it would kill the main essence of my union with her...

God abeg, if e go happen like that, better show me now so that I go find my way go seminary before it's too late for me, or better still, remain single for life...

For real, I would do anything morally, spiritually, and ethically possible to avoid such occurrence.

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by ezzye: 8:32pm On Dec 28, 2012
Would tell her how disappointed and disgusted i am and probably ask her to suggest what i shd do to her.

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by WAM1(f): 8:42pm On Dec 28, 2012
Upset and betrayed. Certainly not beyond redemption " by His grace" if it's a one time incidence but if it becomes a way of life- hmm I'm out. Operation face my kids squarely!!!
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by owanku: 8:53pm On Dec 28, 2012
I pray it doesn't happen to me, but if it does, then the marriage is over. It'd be hard but we'd both be better off cos I'd definitely despise her. Forgiving her doesn't mean that I'd forget. Like I said earlier, I pray it doesn't happen 2 me.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by cap28: 9:56pm On Dec 28, 2012
Callotti: Not ma gaddem bizz!
Free world! kiss

your marriage must be a joke.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by Gentlelad(m): 11:00pm On Dec 28, 2012
i will also cheat on her to balance the equation. ;Di will also cheat on her to balance the equation.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by nabon(m): 11:33pm On Dec 28, 2012
Am speechless don't want 2 experience it abeg
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by onatisi(m): 11:36pm On Dec 28, 2012
nabon: Am speechless don't want 2 experience it abeg
wettin dey there ?nothing , those that it happens to they are human beings like you and me too and yet they cope and survive it , i am not saying it will happen to you ooo, just saying there is nothing new under the sun
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by koolg: 11:41pm On Dec 28, 2012
Why is it unforgivable? Is it a new thing? Was she/he not forking before you married? Even if she/he was not there's a reason why it happened, get to the root of it and try together to stop it because its not a big deal. Mind you, the more the love btw spouses, the more closely knitted and so the less probability of infidelity. But there's no pure love in marriages these days

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by laivwire(m): 11:42pm On Dec 28, 2012
I'll be sad, appalled, but nevertheless I won't opt for a divorce just cos of the children.wouldn't want them to suffer for their mums silly mistake. I'll forgv and forget if she's apologetic
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by Nobody: 3:54am On Dec 29, 2012
Pissed off
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by hollandis(f): 4:30am On Dec 29, 2012
ibkaye: Pissed off

ibk you are alive cry i missed you .You are now a big girl now 17+5 =22 years shocked .I hope you are still a virgin angry or else grin wink
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by minute(f): 4:37am On Dec 29, 2012
I think I would freeze up into an icy ball of mystery and walk straight out...and I don't know when I would stop walking.

Anger would not be part of it for a while- the base of my life and all aims and plans for the future would be gone.

She would be irrelevant to me- he is the one would have destroyed me. Later when I had processed it,I would be furiously

angry for he would have done to their kids happiness.



If he even thought about wanting another woman, he's as good aas gone.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by Nobody: 4:40am On Dec 29, 2012
hollandis:

ibk you are alive cry i missed you .You are now a big girl now 17+5 =22 years shocked .I hope you are still a virgin angry or else grin wink
aww really? cheesy urm, riiiiiight. How are you?
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by salt1: 6:52am On Dec 29, 2012
Your responses show the double standard in society's morality. Most of you men vowing you'll never tolerate infidelity from ur wives have been boasting of your sexcapades on NL with who? Other men's wives or wives-to-be.
What you sow is what you'll reap. Sow fidelity and good faith.
Adultery isn't unpardonable. Just pray "lead me not into temptation" because if it happens to you, you may not have any option than to forgive and continue for your kids' sake, for the love you still have for her (yes, men with adulterous wives love them to nonsense and are usually eager to reform them), and for your health sake. If you harbour a bitter, murderous attitude, your Health will suffer.
Couples get over infidelity and become Stronger as they jointly fight to remain together.

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Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by sigmaseller: 7:20am On Dec 29, 2012
Letz face the truth, our home is broken sad
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by Alfy2: 7:56am On Dec 29, 2012
owanku: I pray it doesn't happen to me, but if it does, then the marriage is over. It'd be hard but we'd both be better off cos I'd definitely despise her. Forgiving her doesn't mean that I'd forget. Like I said earlier, I pray it doesn't happen 2 me.

Spot on!
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by bosijay(m): 12:24pm On Dec 29, 2012
The 1 thng i cnt let go is been cheated actualy evrytin we had wuld definately cum to end.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by Truckpusher(m): 1:16pm On Dec 29, 2012
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF BY YOURSELF....NO WORRY TRUST NAIJA GIRLS BY THE TIME ONE SMART BIG TIME ASHAWO GO USE ALUM WASH TOTO FOR YOU AND YOU FIND OUT THAT SHE WASN'T A VIRGIN AFTER MAYBE YOU'VE HAD TEN CHILDREN WHICH ALWAYS THE CASE WITH GUYS LIKE YOU , YOU'LL RUN TO US ON NL FOR ADVICE......NA TODAY? grin grin cheesy grin grin grin
WhyAWhy:

Hail the king of the fools paradise
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by caukerzee(m): 2:11pm On Dec 29, 2012
huni_naija: You're now changing your tune when a woman cheats, if its a man now he'll be claiming he's got the magic candle stick... undecided

Anyways for me sha it depends on who, with, WHAT, where and how he cheated on me before i can then make a decision...

But i would feel like iv been taken for granted and that, i am of no worth to him anymore, that i should have listened to my papa's advice to stay away from men at all costs lool... grin
you keep displaying feminism. Smh.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by alezuv: 10:30pm On Dec 29, 2012
He that commits sin is of the devil, I John 3:8 (I John 3:. If you are into lying, cheating, bitterness, keeping malice, pride, manifesting anger, quarreling, unforgiveness, hatred, envy, contention, strife, bitterness, speaking evil of others, taking or giving bribe, selfishness, deception, kidnapping, smuggling, falsification of documents, swearing, extortion and other sinful character dispositions, you must repent.
Such evil and wicked character will hinder the manifestation of abundant blessings upon your life. If you are into self-service, fornication, adultery, prostitution (private or public), patronizing LovePeddlers, abortion, lesbianism, homosexualism, watching Indecency (I Corinthians 6:9-10), or any form of immorality, you need to repent.
Whatever be the area of your sin, you must repent and make amends. Are you into idolatry, do you make or use charms, rituals, bow down to images, do you rob or steal? Are you into cultism, whether open or secret cult? Do you practice witchcraft? Do you smoke cigarette or hemp? Do you sell them or offer them to people? Do you smoke or sniff hard drugs such as cocaine, heroin, captain black, hashish or other banned drugs or snuff? Are you lusting - lusting after men or women, covetous, alcohol drinking? You must repent and give your life to Jesus Christ.
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by WhyAWhy(m): 2:48am On Dec 31, 2012
Truckpusher: ENCOURAGE YOURSELF BY YOURSELF....NO WORRY TRUST NAIJA GIRLS BY THE TIME ONE SMART BIG TIME ASHAWO GO USE ALUM WASH TOTO FOR YOU AND YOU FIND OUT THAT SHE WASN'T A VIRGIN AFTER MAYBE YOU'VE HAD TEN CHILDREN WHICH ALWAYS THE CASE WITH GUYS LIKE YOU , YOU'LL RUN TO US ON NL FOR ADVICE......NA TODAY? grin grin cheesy grin grin grin

If alum has successfully deceived you, then you need your head thoroughly reexamined.
I don't do girls that crawl out of the woods. I'm not some random guy grin grin
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by adabeke12(f): 8:18pm On Feb 24, 2013
SAFO: What would be your reaction?

Would you immediately seek a divorce?

I don't claim to be a perfect man,far from it anyway and yet I've never cheated on my wife since we got married. I did mess around a bit while we were dating but there really wasn't a commitment in place so I don't feel as if I've acted unfairly.

Honestly, if my wife cheated I don't know if I would get a divorce (probably for the sake of the kids) but I would definitely stop loving her. I'm my eyes she wouldn't be the same person anymore. My wife is supposed to belong to me and the thought of her with some other guy would severely taint my perception of her. I wouldn't be able to look her in the face and not feel disgusted. I wouldn't want to touch her or comfort her anymore. In short I would despise her.

The mere thought repulses me and now that I think of it, it would probably do more harm than good to stay together. People always claim that you can forgive and forget but to what extent can one maintain this belief? Isn't marriage supposed to be a sanctified bond that can not be undone by anyone but God?

Do others share this belief or is this too extreme on one end of the spectrum?

all i have to say that you are sick. nd plz do remember what goes up must surely come down. you justify your cheating on your girlfriend/fiance at the time by saying that there was no commitment. am sorry for your skrewed way of thinking and i thank God not all men think like you. If you ever get cheated on you deserved it. nonsense
Re: If Your Spouse Cheated, How Would You Feel? by victorian(f): 11:01pm On Feb 24, 2013
Trust is gone...God help me , if I won't detest him... I can't even imagine it....and if he turns out to be a serial cheats, which I reject in IJN... It's over between us..cause I can't risk having HIV, not for anyone... Abeg it won't happen in my marriage, amen.

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