You know you have a crush on your RT lecturer. Sometimes, you think he know you do and other times, you're sure the crushing is reciprocal. That is what bothers you. See, you dont want him tọ ask you out or talk about feelings. Because you know it'd ruin everything. Not that there's anything yet but it would make this seem different. Because you know if he eventually asks you out, you've already prepared a way tọ politely tell him No without bringing any hard feelings between you both. You're not really sure about how much hard feelings it would be when you say No because you've had a similar experience with a lecturer who took it bad. But then, he was just an elective course lecturer whose class you'd never take again and he was a chronic womanizer. What with his name on the lips of several females.

But you know your RT lecturer is different from that and you find it insulting comparing him to the randy elective lecturer. Afterall, he is just a young unmarried guy working for his doctorate. You really cant know much since he is always telling this new girl from your class that you're building a friendship with about how much he likes you and reminding her to say Hi to you. He takes you and her out for lunch one day.
You blame the girl. A lot. Because she wants to play the advocate that did the match making.
You pity her sometimes too. Because she alone gets to listen to him talk about you.
He never looks you in the eye. Except when you're in a crowded class but elsewhere, you are glad your eyes dont meet since you dont want to encourage anything.
This is exactly how it has been. Till today.
Your reasons for wanting a hold on anything other than a harmless crush are justifiable.
- Because you know it is unethical. Relationships between a lecturer and a student is forbidden in all areas of your brain. On moral grounds too, you still have an issue with it.
- You also consider the fact that it's his first time in your school. Not that he hasn't lectured in any other school but you're scared you might just be his present guinea pig. Though deep down, you know he's definitely not that kind of person.
- And then talk of rumours. What with you competing with guys in class who would believe any story human possible to discredit the plain fact that a girl is competing too much with them. XYou're not really sure about how much hard feelings it would be when you say No because you've had a similar experience with a lecturer who took it bad. But then, he was just an elective course lecturer whose class you'd never take again and he was a chronic womanizer. What with his name on the lips of several females.

But you know your RT lecturer is different from that and you find it insulting comparing him to the randy elective lecturer. Afterall, he is just a young unmarried guy working for his doctorate. You really cant know much since he is always telling this new girl from your class that you're building a friendship with about how much he likes you and reminding her to say Hi to you.
You blame the girl. A lot. Because she wants to play the advocate that did the match making.
You pity her sometimes too. Because she alone gets to listen to him talk about you.
He never looks you in the eye. Except when you're in a crowded class but elsewhere, you are glad your eyes dont meet since you dont want to encourage anything.
This is exactly how it has been. Till today. When you received cash from new friend courtesy of RT lecturer. You go to say thanks and he takes you and new girl out for lunch.
Your reasons for wanting a hold on anything other than a harmless crush is justifiable.
- Because you know it is unethical. Relationships between a lecturer and a student is forbidden in all areas of your brain. On moral grounds too, you still have an issue with it.
- You also consider the fact that it's his first time in your school. Not that he hasn't lectured in any other school but you're scared you might just be his present guinea pig. Though deep down, you know he's definitely not that kind of person.
- And then talk of rumours. What with you competing with guys in class who would believe any story human possible to discredit the plain fact that a girl is competing too much with them. Besides, you care too much about reputation.

So you think, if only he waits. Till you drop your pen after your degree exams, then you can say yes. Maybe he's even thinking along the line. Affterall he asked you if you'd like to lecture in same school after masters. Or was it just curiosity?
But then, why are you bothering? He might just like you as a little girl that wasnt old enough to get a voters card or after having lunch with you, he had a rethink.