Stop the madness Joker. You brought this guy up in the Romance section a little while ago. You received straightforward advice and clearly chose to ignore it.

Yes it is your fault if you're pregnant. No one made you lay up with someone's husband. These are all choices you made. Stop trying to justify your actions / weakness / lack of moral fortitude.

Are these made up stories? If this is real I don't think there's any help for you here. Only Jesus can save you. You apparently have no moral compass, willpower, or sense of direction.

Kobojunkie:
I am guessing you may eventually need to be confronted by his wife.

She doesn't care. I warned her on her other thread that she better hope the wife didn't find out about her, snap, and beat her azz. That didn't stop her from continuing to bang this woman's husband.

femishosho@gmai:

is not all my fault is especially his as well.

Correction, it is ALL your fault. It's your body and you could have chosen to "Keep your legs closed to married men."

Golden Lady:

Correction, it is ALL your fault. It's your body and you could have chosen to "Keep your legs closed to married men."

I knew it! So she wasn't even pregnant before she came on the other section? ....

I've already said she will have all her children for this man .... she's just a joker looking for sympathy to justify her dubious action.... everything has been premeditated in her little brain since she has tasted a older dïck!

.... She knows exactly what she's doing and she ain't backing off until ;

1. She finish that family
OR
2. The wife finds out and beat the shît outta her....and get her arrested....

jidegirl12:

I knew it! So she wasn't even pregnant before she came on the other section? ....

She knows exactly what she's doing and she ain't backing off until ;

1. She finish that family
OR
2. The wife finds out and beat the shît outta her....and get her arrested....

She didn't mention pregnancy on that thread back in December. It was in the Romance section - How To End a 4 Year Affair. This person even claimed the guy asked her to marry him before he got married. Supposedly he's 30 and has been with the same woman for 10 years.

Sorry, I can't bring myself to sympathize with her. I sympathize with the wife. Maybe this is just a made up story meant to get a rise out of people. If so the poster succeeded

Guitarlife: HHHHHmmmmmmm!!!! okay lemme breathe first *inhales/exhales*
Okay these are the highlights of this post......
1. You started screwing this guy at six-furking-teen OMG!!! Pray tell, when did you loose your virginity ?
2. You don't have an education and are not planning on getting one soon.
3. You obviously have wealthy and responsible parents who would rather endure the agony of watching you roast in a bid to correct you and make your life better.
4. You don't think your parents are intelligent and caring enough to handle and manage a recalcitrant , pregnant-out-of-wedlock daughter.
5. You obviously have no atom of feeling, you are devilish, selfish and possesed. You screwed a woman's husband for for years while still walking their kids in the park for the same period huh ? I bet you met in church. I have that feeling.
6. You are daft to have forgotten so soon newtons law that says for every action there exists an equal and opposite reaction. The action here is denying a woman and her three children the joy of a loving and committed father and the reaction is the cold, lonely and deserted spell you are about to endure.
7. You obviously thought he was gon divorce his wife cos of your stinky pussy huh ? How the tables turn, you are no more than a piece of trash. Worth even less than a packet of used condoms to him. You are now to him a malignant and cancerous infestation ravaging his whole system. as we type, he is heavily brainstorming the best and most efficient way to quarantine and possibly decapitate you from his body.
8. You are sure to get a pittyparty from your fellow home breakers here on Nairaland. Your parents most likely don't cheat on themselves and have managed to raise a beautiful home which you have chosen not to follow in their path.
Whos is the bastard now,YOU or YOUR INNOCENT BABY?

*its okay to grab a tissue at this point cos I have not even started yet I'll be back after playing this stubborn piece by Mozart on my violin*

i was already pregnant when i made the other post i just did not know then.. i do have an education like i said we met at college, the college was for all ages , and when i met him he told me he was single . i am at college again now and i will have finish before my due date then il have to find more permanent work.

i dont want to ruin his family and i know he doesn't love me , ..yh i use to love him because i believed he loved me . but after everything i can honestly say i don't want to be with him after the things he has said and done so thats not the issue.

when he made me mad thats when i was thinking to tell he wife because i was angry as he lashed out at me just because i wouldn't let him come around.
i know he is not going to leave his wife for me , but before i really believed he would stupid but that is what he said and i believed it is only now he is acting terrible towards me for no reason and its not because I'm pregnant because he doesn't know.


im not proud of myself am the opposite. so that people don't find out about us i am not going to tell anyone who the father is i will say he doesn't want to know and leave it at that . so how is that me trying to split them up or be selfish.

when i met him i was young but i am not a young kid anymore. i don't know why people think I'm rich ,money would solve my problem right now means i could go wherever i wanted.

like i said i cant tell anyone who the father is because then the situation is going to get out of control and people are going to try and get involved. and thats not just to protect him and his family is to protect myself as well as i don't particularly want people gossiping about me. am not looking for sympathy and just reading everyones comments.


all in all ive realised. even if his wife did find out i dont think it would make a difference to anything he is either going to lie or shell forgive him.

i was wondering to tell him i was pregnant but dont think that will make a difference only the fact that hell be very very very very very very very angry thats why i am not telling him .

but the issue is why should my girl or boy not know. i will tell them that their dad didn't want anything to do with them straight up . but will they understand me if i told him or her that that dad didn't know they existed. but seeing as im kind of stuck here and cant move its obvious he will eventually find out whether he il act upon that i dont know i just no he wont be happy.

i dont want to be with him if that is how he really feels we can part , that is what i have been trying todo but like last week all week hes apologising begging to come round i said no 100 times then he flips out at me. i dont want to be with him i will find someone else to be with and im not really interested in that right now anyway .and it has not taken me 4 years to realise i dont want to be with him because he hasnt always acted like this at all .

i dont really think it matters when i lost my virginity but it was with him.people assume because your having an affair with someone that you sleep around , but i wasn't in a relationship with any one he was so i was only sleeping with him doesn't make it ok just means I'm not sleeping with a variety of men .
during being with him i had a break because i had a boyfriend, he even helped in ruining that for me because he got even more interested in me just because i was in a relationship so if he wanted rid of me why didn't he just take that as an opportunity to cut loose.
he promised me things and i never got them doesn't mean I'm bitter and a home wrecker i was in love with the old him not the new one.

also thanks for the comments even the bad ones my replies are not intended to change your opinions i am just filling in the gaps. I'm not looking for sympathy if i though people would feel sorry for me i wouldn't have a problem explaining whats gone on to everyone and writing on this forum isn't gong to change much but ..... but i appreciate the advice and the comments are keeping me knowing what people really think about the situation and i want to find people who have been through the same thing

This things happen all the time. People get caught up in a lot of crappy situations when they are younger even much more older women are dealing with your kind of situation. Just change your perception of the whole situation as in stop dwelling on his deceit,lies and how he used you,remember you were also an active participant in the drama. You need to put this behind you firmly. I would say you make sure he takes care of the baby but am afraid he will find a way to get into your bed again. However if you can't handle the financial aspect you need to get him to do his bit. This is not the worst thing that can happen to anyone in fact children are gifts from God so be delighted with what you have.

You need to be careful telling your kid that the father wants nothing to do with him/her don't pass on your anger to your child. Make sure your child grows up well adjusted,not having daddy or rejection issues this does not mean you should lie to your child either. Many single women have raised outstanding kids,along the way you will meet some right man for yourself and your child. You made a mistake now do a right take. Its life don't dwell on your failures learn and move on. You have learnt from now onward no dating married or irresponsible men.

yh thanks i will i believe i can be happy . and i eventually hope i will meet some one else in the future. just dont know how he will act about that but thats not my problem.

andromida: This things happen all the time. People get caught up in a lot of crappy situations when they are younger even much more older women are dealing with your kind of situation. Just change your perception of the whole situation as in stop dwelling on his deceit,lies and how he used you,remember you were also an active participant in the drama. You need to put this behind you firmly. I would say you make sure he takes care of the baby but am afraid he will find a way to get into your bed again. However if you can't handle the financial aspect you need to get him to do his bit. This is not the worst thing that can happen to anyone in fact children are gifts from God so be delighted with what you have.

You need to be careful telling your kid that the father wants nothing to do with him/her don't pass on your anger to your child. Make sure your child grows up well adjusted,not having daddy or rejection issues this does not mean you should lie to your child either. Many single women have raised outstanding kids,along the way you will meet some right man for yourself and your child. You made a mistake now do a right take. Its life don't dwell on your failures learn and move on. You have learnt from now onward no dating married or irresponsible men.

Mistakes are things you do unintentionally. I just wanted to point this out

OP,
dont ever think you can raise that child alone. As it grows older, it will not let you rest with wanting to know where its father is. If you tell it the father never cared, you will damage that child. And that child will turn out to be more than you can handle. O yi ti rin kan kan. You just start. If you think all will be peachy, reality will soon take root.

baby_123:

Mistakes are things you do unintentionally. I just wanted to point this out

OP,
dont ever think you can raise that child alone. As it grows older, it will not let you rest with wanting to know where its father is. If you tell it the father never cared, you will damage that child. And that child will turn out to be more than you can handle. O yi ti rin kan kan. You just start. If you think all will be peachy, reality will soon take root.

You take a deliberate decision based on the facts or understanding or knowledge available to you as at a time and somewhere down the line realize that you have made a mistake even though at that time the decision looked and felt right. Nobody makes perfect decisions all the time,its just sad that this mistake has far reaching consequences as a lot of mistakes we consider minor equally have far reaching consequences the major issue here is that her mistake is obvious-Pregnancy.

Again many single parents have raised outstanding kids and in this instance this is what she must do i mean the man is married and wants nothing to do with babies from her he already has a home she was just a sidekick,a filler for a fun time. All hands are not going to be on deck,its her hands that are going to be on deck.She can at least demand for financial assistance from him. She does not have to hide the father,the child has a right to know the truth. The man's life will not end in fact as i am typing he may be on the look out for the next accomplice. I hope the poster handles it right from here on.

OP, seems like you don't really realise the gravity of the situation you have just put yourself in. You want someone to tell you that it is partly his fault. Unfortunately, you have to take full responsibility in what has happened. Obviously, the man just used you as his tool (or perhaps you both did) as you also said in your previous thread that you were also having fun. Well, the damage has been done so you need to pick up the pieces and move on. This is my advice to you:

1. He has a right to know you are carrying his child, so you need to tell him. It is not your place to tell his wife. Let him handle that however he wants to.
2. You need to inform your family. You need their support emotionally, mentally, financially etc. Having a child is a huge responsibility and from your posts, I don't think you are ready to handle it by yourself just yet. If you feel the man is bossy and controlling and will make you do what you don't want to do, perhaps your family can help keep him away from you. They should warn him sternly to keep off for taking advantage of your naivety. I'm sure when he sees that you have your family's support, he will be helpless.
3. Move away from your current place so that he has no access to you. You don't necessarily have to leave the town but change your address so that he can not reach you. If you must meet him, make it in public places accompanied by a friend or family.
4. Do not let anyone cajole you into terminating the pregnancy. Don't add to the guilt you are carrying already.

I sincerely hope that you have learnt your lesson from what has happened. But then, we all make mistakes in life. Some people are lucky to leave unscathed but not everyone is that lucky. I want to believe the man took advantage of you and you flowed along. But then, you are still young and have a whole life ahead of you. Never go into anything you are not ready to take full responsibility for. Be more disciplined in your relationships with men and learn to exercise self control. Think with your head and your head and don't allow physical satisfaction to get you into this kind of mess again. You will receive a lot of insults on nairaland because Nigerian culture doesn't tolerate things like this. But God still loves you just the way you are, even with your sins and by His grace, He will see you through if you give Him room in your life. All the best.
4.

^^ Love your post.

Calm, balanced and full of wisdom. Well done!

Ran into this OP's update in the romance section. Here...

Im jealous .. my baby father's wife is pregnant with their 4th child a girl, i don't know how far along but she looks about 5 months. I'm pregnant with his son my 1st child and nearly 7 months.

i did not tell him i was pregnant until a couple of months ago , at first he didn't want to know then he keeps changing his mind playing me around and just last week he changed his mind again saying he doesn't want to be involved with the child , and told me his wife was pregnant and if it wasn't for that then he would be with me .
at first i thought it was just another excuse until then i saw her which confirmed this .

She doesn't know about me and him , and i was fine in the beginning when he said he didn't want to be apart because i expected this anyway .

but now I'm really jealous and want to tell her but i know that would make him angry but at the same time i know he loves me otherwise he wouldn't still be around ..
how do u stop being jealous .

https://www.nairaland.com/1295704/jealousy-right-thing

Lawd have mercy on this woman!

Smh my head at the bolded.

Was that^^ recent? She's stalking the family?? lawd have mercy!

jidegirl12: Was that^^ recent? She's stalking the family?? lawd have mercy!

Yes o. She started that topic today!

Quite a doll, isn't she?

some people have mental issues, its obvious and shouldnt be surprising since a lot of the time their actions are a giveaway.

I guess some people enjoy being sidekicks. I simply cannot understand how she even bears to talk to the man. Even if you are monkey ugly you can do better.

How can you care so much about a man's feeling when he does not give a damn about you.

femishoshogmai:
I'm not looking for sympathy . am just telling my story and problem on here anonymously to listen to peoples responses. as i cant really go around discussing with people openly.

i know I'm not innocent but I've always tried to end it with him.
funny how its always the womans fault

oh it should be a mans fault abi?did he rappped you?

femishoshogmai:


i think that it is my fault for always letting him win me over. but i think its his fault im pregnant i wanted to be carful and he never cares and did nothing to help after.

your response show sthat you are just a kid...thats why I dont blame you...but you enjoyed the sex unprotected abi?

Being a married woman myself, I have nothing but disgust for ladies who sleep with and/or have affairs with married men.

So madam OP carry your cross yourself. Like my mum will say, "you cooked the soup, so eat it!"