Stumbled on this article, so I decided to post it here

If women can have careers and be mothers, why do we as a society persist in seeing professional ambition and parenting as mutually exclusive?

We are raising a generation of girls who think that child rearing is more important than their own ambitions, Hilary French, president of the Girls’ Schools Association, has said.

Young women need to learn that they have options in life, according to Mrs French, yet they are still expected to be the homemakers, shouldering the majority of the child-rearing and meal-planning burden.

Mrs French told a story of a talk given 18 months ago by a young entrepreneur to girls at Central Newcastle High School, where she is headmistress.

“A lady dared to say that she had probably put her business ahead of her son, and the sharp intake of breath from all of the girls was audible.
“They were all absolutely shocked, so yes, we are still creating a generation of girls who think that the whole idea of looking after children is really the most important thing, once you have a child.”

Unless you discover a cure for cancer, or personally bring about peace in the Middle East, raising a happy family is probably the most important thing that most of us – men or women – will accomplish in life.

I think it is a great thing that girls see parenthood as an important part of their future. The real problem is that their male peers don’t. If they did, we wouldn’t have this ridiculous either/or situation for women.

Years ago, being a wife was seen as a full-time occupation; keeping the house and making sure supper was on the table intime for a husband returning from work left little time for other ambitions.

But in most circles today, any woman declaring that she intended to be a homemaker would raise more than a few eyebrows– get a dishwasher and a hoover, tell your husband to clean up after himself, and get yourself out of the house to earn some money!

There is no biological way to divorce a woman from her role in child birthing and rearing, nor should there be. Motherhood is fantastic, and a really great intellectual challenge, too. There is nothing anti-feminist about encouraging girls to look forward to their future role as a mother.

What is worrying is if that is seen as a role that is all-or-nothing. Part of being a great mother is having ambition and enjoyment of things in life yourself. Kids know if you're depressed or bored. Spending all of your time with a parent who lacks ambition for herself will hardly encourage a child to aspire to great things.

Most of the best parents I've met are role models for their children, even if they're not physically there all the time.

What young women need is a good education and household and childcare support, so they can realise their ambitions. Clearly, girls are getting a good education: women are now more likely than men to go university in Britain.

But the only way that Mrs French’s young charges will feel comfortable making decisions for themselves, and pursing their dreams, is if we breakdown some of the stigmas against working mothers and childcare.

A recent survey suggested that British mothers whose spouses play an important role in childcare receive more promotions than if they have help just from another relative, or rely on other forms of professional childcare. Help with other household duties also has a significant impact on a woman’s career progression. Mothers who have help - from their partner or another source -with cleaning and other household responsibilities outside of working hours are more likely to get a promotion than mothers who shoulder these responsibilities themselves.

“Sharing household responsibilities and maintaining a good work-life blend gives working women more time to network, find mentors or sponsors and seek new job opportunities,” said Dr InesWichert, the psychologist who conducted the study.

It is not just our young girls who need to prioritise their careers; their husbands must, too. When the men get on board, and when good, affordable childcare is more readily available, girls will realise that there is no reason that they cannot look forward to exciting careers and the joys of motherhood.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/9768889/Girls-still-see-child-raising-as-their-future-why-dont-boys.html

What do You think?