you

Most times during courtship we are so carried away that we fail to discuss basic issues.
Marriage is a partnership, there are no confined roles. However don't expect that she be a traditional wife do all the house work without you lifting a hand and want liberation when it comes to income.
We had almost the same issues when we married even though ours was slightly different, I was doing too mucch and hubby wanted me to relax, so we agreed on partnership which over the years has taken a huge load off both shoulders. He is not over stressed with all the bills and I am not over stressed with house work.
You are head of the home, call a family meeting and talk with each other how to make your marriage run smoothly. Some women have been raised to think that the husband should provide all and she should do all the home making.
Even though my husband and I share responsibilities he still gives me money to take care of my needs. It makes me very happy even when I can afford the items myself.
Some people have strong belief about gender roles and it will take a lot of work to change that. Don't impose it on her, talk and work something beneficial to both parties. Don't impose your veiws on her. Remember you are both in this together and there is no winner in marital conflict just two people who will carry on hurt and bitterness so please always put yourself in your wifes shoe and vice versa.
Best wishes

For peace sake. . .oblige her.
Women always want a token from their men to feel appreciated. . .no matter how small.
It feels good to tell the world 'my husband gives me a little pocket money'!
OR SHE WILL GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE ESLE. . .if she is like me o!

LOTS OF IT TOOO! I dun 'ave time for big-big grammar and too much long tok-tok!

Im a married woman, i also work, but inasmuch as i dont believe in overburdening my man with responsibilities, i will not appreciate him telling me what to use my money for, what am i saying? With what you just said here, your wife is trying to tell you to be responsible based on your ability and capacity, to your family and not tell her what she should use her money for.
My advice: give her whatever you can afford and she will know how to spend it prudently, you will be surprised how shes gonna go a long way in making sure everything is in good shape in d house. To be honest with you, d day my hubby split d responsibilities and tell me which one to handle, is d day he will start to loose his respect in d house. Do what you can afford, and leave her with how and what she spend her money for.
A good woman will do anything to make sure you both succeed, what you just need is to trust her sense of reasoning.


Happy married life and may God give you d wisdom required in this new journey you both just emback on...... Amen

Give it 10 mins Sagamite and Dayokanu will find this thread and spin it to 20 pages. Hehehehehehe

greatgod2012: Im a married woman, i also work, but inasmuch as i dont believe in overburdening my man with responsibilities, i will not appreciate him telling me what to use my money for

But you will appreciate it if you tell him what to use his money for, right?!

Table Leg :

But you will appreciate it if you tell him what to use his money for, right?!

he is a real man, he doesnt need to be told what he should use his money for.
Btw, is this d only thing i wrote here. Accept it or not, telling your wife which responsibility of d house to handle makes you less a man. A good wife will never allow his hubby to do it all.....that is d essence of understanding in marriage and one of my reasons why i will never support woman being a full time housewife.

Dude,

Like the others have said...

Though we work, it makes sense that you still perform that actual responsibility.

In my house, we run as a 'joint-venture'.

What you give as a husband would never be enough, but that you give, makes a whole lot of differences.

So, just talk with her, and agree on a ratio as to the other home expenses...and also, agree on how much she wants n you both stick by it.

For me, am praying hubby gets a new job with mouth-watering package, so i can in-turn, re-negotiate for my 'up-keep'.

Wow @ greatgod, by you general defination my husband is less of a man while am not a good wife. Lol.
What works for others may not work for you but it doesn't make others who choose a different route less of anything or bad.

She's a woman for God sake,she needs your money,no matter how much she earns. Women are generally like that,just a little discussion can do the trick,let her see reasons with you,and not that you will compel her on how to spend her cash.

Its not greed,she's just telling you your responsibilities as a man.

greatgod2012:
he is a real man, he doesnt need to be told what he should use his money for.
Btw, is this d only thing i wrote here. Accept it or not, telling your wife which responsibility of d house to handle makes you less a man. A good wife will never allow his hubby to do it all.....that is d essence of understanding in marriage and one of my reasons why i will never support woman being a full time housewife.

I just asked a simple question and i have not made any conclusion
Its a simple one liner that requires a simple answer, and does not require you to ask me questions back about what you wrote or what not!

My sister Greatgod it is well o! About financial responsibilities ; what works for A doesn't work for B o ma......

OP ..... every woman wants to be pampered no matter how token it is..... just budget her (pocket money)with your monthly expenses so she can feel appreciated and not just a working machine lol .......

by the way why delegate her earnings for herself only? does that include groceries too? Or just for make ups, owanbę and Brazilian hairs?

I'm beginning to think you gave yourself too much responsibilities ,that's why you're complaining.

martin123: Please, house I need your view on this matter. Just got married, my wife and I both work, and I advice my wife to spend her salary on her up keep, while I take care of every other bill ( feeding, light, security house rent e t c), but she is insisting that I give her monthly allowance from my salary. What do I do?? Because, this is beginning to get to me. Please I need advice from the matured minds

if she wants monthly salary, give it to her......
this shouldn't even be up for discussion. she's your wife and i am assuming you make more money than her so what's the biggie?

This is the reason why some women will never be truly happy....marriage is not a one person affair so why should you women allow your husbands carry all the financial responsibility? It is not everybody that can work in an oil company some have to be lawyers and some have to be low income earners...How do you expect your man to take care of all this and also take care of you? A man earning 100k monthly (which some people would kill to earn) will spend on fuel,food,school fees and other expenses...from the same 100k you still want your own share while you are working? What are you using your money for?
Poster find a way to make your wife see reason that if you and her don't work things together the marriage will have problems...

coogar:

if she wants monthly salary, give it to her......
this shouldn't even be up for discussion. she's your wife and i am assuming you make more money than her so what's the biggie?

Monthly salary plus her own salary? It's a biggie IMO.....I don't oppose giving her token but she should do something too...

Next thing you will hear is I'm an independent woman or what a man can do blah blah

When you guys were dating, were you were not giving her with gifts and the like, even money attimes but after marriage, a different story comes up. Its not new, most men act like this, dats why we say they change after marriage. Anyhoo, u shuld give her something because dats how a woman feels she is loved and has a caring husband. Even if she earns double your salary, u've got to give her something, it shows u care, its not by mouth only, women need to see actions.
If you dnt want nagging,frowning and malice, give her sumthing before u seem like a fraud.
Remember that everything u own is hers and vise versa,so there's no her money or your money. All join!

jidegirl12:
Monthly salary plus her own salary? It's a biggie IMO.....I don't oppose giving her token but she should do something too...

Next thing you will hear is I'm an independent woman or what a man can do blah blah

monthly allowance is not monthly salary.
the allowance can be anything from N50k to N100k depending on the husband's income. there's no biggie in that. you either give her in a lump sum or she would take it in bits anyways. by the time you add up 10k today, 22k next tomorrow, then you would end up giving her more than N150k in a month. women are delicate species - they need to be taken care of otherwise........

martin123: Please, house I need your view on this matter. Just got married, my wife and I both work, and I advice my wife to spend her salary on her up keep, while I take care of every other bill ( feeding, light, security house rent e t c), but she is insisting that I give her monthly allowance from my salary. What do I do?? Because, this is beginning to get to me. Please I need advice from the matured minds

She work you work.

You take care of ALL the bills and She keeps her money for HERSELF alone

Yet she still wants to get more from you as allowance for what exactly?

Maybe your wife still thinks you are an Aristo

Later they would be the ones to chorus I am an independent woman

martin123: Please, house I need your view on this matter. Just got married, my wife and I both work, and I advice my wife to spend her salary on her up keep, while I take care of every other bill ( feeding, light, security house rent e t c), but she is insisting that I give her monthly allowance from my salary. What do I do?? Because, this is beginning to get to me. Please I need advice from the matured minds

martin set up a joint account which either of u gave access to. put money in it based on a proportion of ur earning power
Say you earn 100k and she earns 50k u will put 2/3 while she puts 1/3

A reasonable amount will be 60k monthly say u do 40 she does 20

This would be for household expenses, school fees, rent and her upkeep n toiletries will be from there

Lol at all the unmarried girls hoping for a man that will shoulder all their responsibilities....Lol at all the married women nagging their husbands everyday yet they complain when he strays into the arms of another woman...Lol at all the divorced ladies who wonder why their marriage went up in flames...

dayokanu:

She work you work.

You take care of ALL the bills and She keeps her money for HERSELF alone

Yet she still wants to get more from you as allowance for what exactly?

Maybe your wife still thinks you are an Aristo

Later they would be the ones to chorus I am an independent woman

Independent television Benin....Lol

Wow, I must be living in some sort of alternate universe. Some women are enjoying sha. So you both work and he pays all the bills and feeds everyone but you still want him to give you allowance to buy yourself tampons and pancake abi? Abeg where is Mr Ileobatojo to come and hear this? I must begin to collect my own allowance pronto!

Lol Ile, apparently we are not good women and our husbands are not "real men".
We want to be treated with respect yet we choose to remain dependent and see men just as good as their pockets.
We have had this debate and I believe what works for A may not work for B, but what has worked for me is helping out with bills making my husband less stressed working overtime to pay mortgage, school fees, bills, food stuff, etc.
It works for me because we have more time together and I have an attentive husband not one too tired and stressed from trying to make ends meet

martin123: Please, house I need your view on this matter. Just got married, my wife and I both work, and I advice my wife to spend her salary on her up keep, while I take care of every other bill ( feeding, light, security house rent e t c), but she is insisting that I give her monthly allowance from my salary. What do I do?? Because, this is beginning to get to me. Please I need advice from the matured minds

naija women - always want to eat their cake and have it - you want to be respected, yet you insist on behaving like a kid - only a child can earn salary from a job and still demand allowance from parents

disgusting.

the man is taking care of every other bill and the wife still wants monthly allowance - this is the sort of behavior that makes people embezzle money.

later the man's wife will be running her mouth that the man is a loser who achieved nothing while she built house , bought car etc

greatgod2012: Im a married woman, i also work, but inasmuch as i dont believe in overburdening my man with responsibilities, i will not appreciate him telling me what to use my money for, what am i saying? With what you just said here, your wife is trying to tell you to be responsible based on your ability and capacity, to your family and not tell her what she should use her money for.
My advice: give her whatever you can afford and she will know how to spend it prudently, you will be surprised how shes gonna go a long way in making sure everything is in good shape in d house. To be honest with you, d day my hubby split d responsibilities and tell me which one to handle, is d day he will start to loose his respect in d house. Do what you can afford, and leave her with how and what she spend her money for.
A good woman will do anything to make sure you both succeed, what you just need is to trust her sense of reasoning.


Happy married life and may God give you d wisdom required in this new journey you both just emback on...... Amen

what exactly does lose his respect mean?

is this 'respect' a license to tell you to kneel down to greet him every morning as the lord and master of teh manor?

oyb:

naija women - always want to eat their cake and have it - you want to be respected, yet you insist on behaving like a kid - only a child can earn salary from a job and still demand allowance from parents

disgusting.

the man is taking care of every other bill and the wife still wants monthly allowance - this is the sort of behavior that makes people embezzle money.

later the man's wife will be running her mouth that the man is a loser who achieved nothing while she built house , bought car etc

Abi oo.

Your joint responsibility, The man offered to carry it alone Thats not enough now the woman is asking for additional allowance from the husband?

What does she do with her own salary in the first place.

OP with this kind of woman you can never have "Akojo" I dont know how to translate it to English

OP is your wifes name Muyiwa or Funmi?

ileobatojo: Wow, I must be living in some sort of alternate universe. Some women are enjoying sha. So you both work and he pays all the bills and feeds everyone but you still want him to give you allowance to buy yourself tampons and pancake abi? Abeg where is Mr Ileobatojo to come and hear this? I must begin to collect my own allowance pronto!

Rotflmao!!

dayokanu:

Abi oo.

Your joint responsibility, The man offered to carry it alone Thats not enough now the woman is asking for additional allowance from the husband?

What does she do with her own salary in the first place.

OP with this kind of woman you can never have "Akojo" I dont know how to translate it to English

OP is your wifes name Muyiwa or Funmi?

Akojo = Savings!!

. . .Where's my prize.

Oga Dayo has landed oh, waiting for Sagalicious, I have seen him around oh womder why he never reach here. This promises to be interesting. My "non real man"husband is giving me a do nothing day, abeg entertain me let this day not waste oh.

What exactly does she do with her money? What a leech

debrief08: Oga Dayo has landed oh, waiting for Sagalicious, I have seen him around oh womder why he never reach here. This promises to be interesting. My "non real man"husband is giving me a do nothing day, abeg entertain me let this day not waste oh.

Lmao!

The tag team. . .they make threads like these an interesting read.

Happy New Year!