Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 9:37pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
Episode 1 Kwaata had never travelled to the city and was pretty uncivilised. One day he decided to travel to the city. He however new they were lots of pick-pockets and criminals in the city, so was cautious. Just as he got to the city, he felt a hand in his back-pocket. It was a pick-pocket, who was disappointed as there was no many there, Kwaata looked at him, smiled and said "you know its because of bad people like you that's why i have hidden my money in my socks" after he walked further for some five minutes he spotted bread, he called the bread, took some and ate, whilst the bread-seller was waiting to collect his money. Kwaata reached for his socks to get his money, instead he got a piece of paper with the inscription " THANKS FOR THE DIRECTION, INTERNATIONAL MUMU " Kwaata was given a sound beating by the bread seller  [/color]Episode 2 Kwaata was still in the city and one day he spotted a miraculous stand that displayed colourful lights by itself. It was a traffic light.Kwaata had never seen a traffic light, so he stood there gazing at the traffic light grinning. A guy was monitoring Kwaata from a distance and realised he was a bush boy, so he got there,; Guy: Hey, who authorised u to watch government's property Kwaata: I am sorri, i didnt know na government get this magic pillar. Guy: Its an offence, u go pay money or make i hand u over to government? Kwaata: Haba, i go pay.. i dey crase? how much jhoor? Guy: Na how many times u watch am? Kwaata: only 2 tymes bros Guy:That one na 2000 naira Kwaata quickly paid the money and the guy left. Just as the guy was gone Kwaata burst out laffing out loud and said to himself " I don trick am olodo!..i watch am plenty!!!! Episode 3 Kwaata had applied for an english teacher position in a secondary school. He was invited for interview and he sat before the panel to answer questions. Panel: You are welcome Mr Kwaata Kwaata: Same to you Panel: Well, you applied to teach English, tell us about yourself Kwaata: I am Kwaata, and you all sitting here know i am Kwaata dont you? you do. I am very englishy Allah. I can spoke engrish even with the queen of Norway. I doesnt knows why you is even wasting yours time to interfiew me , just gave me the job Panel:Well Mr Kwaata, we thank you so much..erm you will hear from us Kwaata: Why? we no go negotiate salary before?? Panel: You will hear from us please Kwaata: okay, i want to left Panel:okay bye After Kwaata left, the entire Panel burst out laffing out loud Episode 4 Kwaata went to the restaurant and the moment the waitress saw him she said "bros, i know you are here to buy Eba and egwusi soup" Kwaata replied "you are correct" Then the waitress came again " I know you will like cow leg and goat head in you soup? Kwaata again replied "You are correct" Then the waitress again "i know you will balance the meal with 3 bottles of stout" Kwaata again replied "your head dey there , you are correct " Soon, Kwaata was served his meal and drinks and after 5 minutes he had done justice to them. He drank some water and posed in an on-your-marks position. The waitress seeing this queried "bros, you wan run away??" Kwaata already 100 meters gone replied from afar " Gbam!!....you are correeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeect" [b] Episode 5 Kwaata was hungry but had no money. He got some coin and went to the chop bar. He bought fufu but had no money to buy meat, besides there were ladies around watching, so he had to be smart. He asked the woman selling food "madam abeg, u get snake meat?" the woman replied "NO" Kwaata asked again "how about crow?" again she replied "NO" kwaata again "how about tiger meat?" she replied "No" Kwaata paused for a while and asked again "u no get crocodile sef for there?" the woman answered "NO....Bros where do u come from" Kwaata replied " that is none of ya business, give me my raw fufu mek i go " Episode 6 Kwaata was at the restaurant again. After ordering a heavy meal and doing justice to it, the waitress came and asked for money Kwaata replied " you remember the guy that came here the last time and was beaten for not paying for his food?" The waitress replied " yes" Kwaata added "that was me, same story oo my sister....abeg call your men again" episode 7 KWAATA was in j.ss 1 and the teacher MR Crayon was teaching maths. enjoy the lesson below . Mr Crayon : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life. Kwaata's hand was up so Mr Crayon called him "yes! you Kwaata " Kwaata : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter. Mr Crayon fainted Episode 8 Kwaata met this babe and was interested in her, the following ensued; Kwaata: hello babe: hi Kwaata:hello babe: ah-ah but i said hi Kwaata: erm..hello...erm your name? babe:i am doris Kwaata: Oh, my grandfather had the same name babe: ok. Kwaata: do you have a house? babe:of course Kwaata: Do you stay in the house Babe: of course Kwaata: do u have a dog Babe:yes Kwaata: does it bite? Babe: guy, what exactly do you want from me? Kwaata:er..i only..i only...i only.... Babe:you only what? Kwaata:i only want to to to ...to...try to ..to....to..to...try to..erm....tell you that, .....................*screams*..I LOVE YOU Kwaata immediately took to his heels after saying this The babe had a miscarriage Episode 9 it was early morning and Papa Goro had woken up. He stepped out and saw someone coming out of his car. He looked closer and it was his friend Kwaata sweating profusely and panting holding a gear lever. "Kwaata, what are u doing in my car this early morning? and where did u get that gear lever from?" Papa GOro asked angrily Kwaata beaming with smiles replied " ha, Goro thank me oo, i have been here since dawn.." "why mek i thank you? what have u done?" Goro asked Kwaata replied again " u see this thing wey u have been trying to uproot since anytime u are driving, i don finally remove am for you...beht i tire oo " Papa Goro suffered a stroke instantly Episode 10 Kwaata established his barbering salon and was an instant hit. Oga Polycarp came to shave his hair. After five minutes of shaving, Kwaata asked his Polycarp " abeg, did u have a red scarf around your neck before sitting down?" "No, i am not mad?" polycarp replied . . " Then, i'm afraid but i have cut your throat!" Kwaata added Polycarp got up and took to his heels [/color] episode 11 Kwaata with his friend Okon in Okon's Car. Okon was driving, got to the police barrier and the police stopped the car; Police: Sir, you realize that you were speeding? Okon: Im sorry officer, I didnt know. Kwaata: na lie, officer na lie, Ive been telling him for miles!! Okon: Shut up!! Shut the f*ck up!! No one is talking to you!! Police: Ok then, did you know that your license plate has expired? Okon: No Officer, abeg I didnt know. Kwaata: Na lie,!! officer na lie I've been telling him since he is my only friend!! Okon: Shut the hell up eediot nobody's talking to you!!! *Police walks over to Kwaata's side and asks Kwaata* Police: sir, does he always talk to you this way? Kwaata: No. only when he's drunk, when he smokes ganja, na beating things ooo Okon shittz all over himself as the police locked him up Episode 12 Kwaata went for a loan of 50,ooo naira from Okon and promised to pay in a week's time. 2 years came buy and Kwaata had not paid. Besides he was no where to be found. After three years, Okon was around Lagos when he came face to face with Kwaata; Okon: Kwaata, so is that you?  Kwaata: No, na your mama Okon: Kwaata , is it me you are talking to like that ?  Kwaata: No be you, na ya papa fool Kwaata took to his heels, as Okon Fainted instantly
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| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by slimchi2k2(m): 9:46pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
interesting,funny,nice one Dr BIN,but what kind of pix is this |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by MrTAnonymous(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
Bin,keep it up,I don laugh sote I nearly slept with my friend's gf.§HAHAHA# |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by slimchi2k2(m): 10:21pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous:na waoo how come bro |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by MrTAnonymous(m): 10:33pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
slimchi2k2:broz,no b my fault,na devil's handiwork. |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by slimchi2k2(m): 10:35pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous:i hope nearly u no do |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by toygod2: 11:50pm On Jan 08, 2013 |
This OP must be high on bossom milk & suya, b4 posting this........... |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by larride(m): 8:17am On Jan 09, 2013 |
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| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 8:33pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
slimchi2k2: interesting,funny,nice one Dr BIN,but what kind of pix is this lol, slim long tyme no hear ooo  That first pic be bunmi and his sis ND tHE SECOND one na Mogul.o real pic |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by slimchi2k2(m): 8:45pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
bin gbagbo:busy these days i hope to call on 18 by 12am in nairal time, we can still chat on facebook if there's time for dat |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by Ruqaya(f): 9:44am On Jan 10, 2013 |
funny joke nd pics |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 10:36am On Jan 10, 2013 |
Ruqaya: funny joke nd pics thanks my lov slimchi2k2: yes boss...will be waiting  |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bunmioguns(m): 4:17pm On Jan 10, 2013 |
bin gbagbo:  |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 5:54pm On Jan 10, 2013 |
bunmioguns:  |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 12:24pm On Jan 12, 2013 |
toygod2: This OP must be high on bossom milk & suya, b4 posting this........... bush pig |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by jeezybuck: 9:01pm On Jan 14, 2013 |
BIN you don try but this is nothing compared to RAMATU. I Love the RAMATU series and its far better than KWAATA. Please complete RAMATU 2 Likes |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:18pm On Jan 14, 2013 |
slimchi2k2: |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 4:19pm On Jan 25, 2013 |
jeezybuck: BIN you don try but this is nothing compared to RAMATU. I Love the RAMATU series and its far better than KWAATA. Please complete RAMATU lol |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by toygod2: 4:02am On Jan 26, 2013 |
A Nursery2 joke |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 8:30am On Jun 08, 2013 |
toygod2: A Nursery2 joke foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool............. |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:59am On Jun 16, 2013 |
slimchi2k2:haba |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by ikechukz(m): 8:56pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
BG you too much.I don laugh sote I piss for body.I dey owe you one bottle of zobo... |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by juns4sure(m): 9:06pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Nice one bin. |
| Re: Adventures Of KWAATA Episodes 1 to 12 by bingbagbo(m): 6:39am On Jun 17, 2013 |
ikechukz: BG you too much.I don laugh sote I piss for body.I dey owe you one bottle of zobo... thatz why dem call me the jokes president |
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In Waec Examination, Akpors Was Ask To Complete The Following: / (hillarious)(pic)what Level Of Selfishness Is This / Let Us Laugh With Presumed Mugabe's Quote
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