lol

Quite an interesting topic indeed and I am enjoying all the contributions. But we should not forget that the magnitude of a wedding ceremony does not determine the success of such a wedding. It's good to be moderate about wedding ceremonies because the real challenge comes after the wedding itself.

BIG WEDDING IS GOOD BUT BIG WEDDING DOES NOT GUARANTEE BIG FULFILLING MARRIAGE.WEDDING IS JUST A DAYS CEREMONY,MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE,THE FOCUS OF EVERYBODY SHOULD BE HOW TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE DESTINY BIG AND FULFILLING.I HAVE SEEN SO CALLED STATE WEDDING THAT ENDED UP IN A STATE DIVORCE.MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT.ITS BETTER FOR PPLE TO FOCUS ON MARRIAGE MORE THAN THE WEDDING THEY SHOULD SET LONG TERM AND SHORT TERM GOALS FOR THEMSELVES AND  CHILDREN NOT SPENDING ALL THE MONEY IN WEDDING CEREMONY.
   I WILL NOT ADVICE BORROWING TO CELEBRATE A WEDDING IT IS THE HEIGHT OF FOOLISHNESS.I HAVE SEEN A COUPLE THAT GOT MARRIED THE MAN DID NOT EVEN HAVE A HOUSE AND THEY STAYED IN A CHEAP HOTEL FOR A WHILE AND GOD BLESSED THEM
      MY NAME IS UCHE OKOCHI,+2348052773865,uchkochi@yahoo.com.OMEGA WORLD NETWORK

x

As for me, I had a very quiet traditional wedding and my Church wedding was very simple despite the fact that I have all it takes to do a great society wedding. Six years after that I and my wife keep thanking God for that decision and we have been able to achieve so much since then. Not only that, many people followed our footsteps and are happy for that.

To me what matters most is life after wedding.

Most people have big wedding ceremonies because they want their wedding to be the talk of the town not because they have the money to support it, and then you see them going to banks for loan which i am very sure in a year time they wont be able to pay back.
While some go for small or simple wedding ceremonies because they dont have the money to support a big one or have the money but do not want something too big just the simple style. Well what matters is the joy they find in each others arms during and after the wedding ceremonie.

ceremony

Now many people say they want a moderate/small wedding, Now is ur moderate/small the same thing as others?

Mine is, do it as u want to big or small, but mind ur pocket. Any marriage that makes u go borrowing & getting loans has out-passed ur pocket. No over-dooooooo

@Poster when u mean big- are u referring to number of people, or u mean how expensive or elaborate a wedding is.

The choice of whether to have a big wedding or not- unlike what a lot of people have stated here earlier does not only depend money, as the financial burden will not be left to the couples alone. It largely depends on size of family, relatives and friends, if you both come from a large family or have loads of relatives around you guys, it will be difficult to have a small wedding (small in number of people attending) as u wouldn't want others to feel less privilege hence that it is why it easier for westerners (Europeans) to have small weddings. It however does not mean that there wedding are less expensive. A friend did his wedding last year in London and only spent £6000, and there was about 400 people there and was really nice both he had friends and family contributing one way or the other to it. Whilst another choose to do her wedding at a hotel for 100 people and paid £70 per person. I think it all comes down to the couples enenvironmentfamilies, relatives and Friends, then finances) which in turn will dictate their choice.

I think even if one is from a big family, one can still have a small wedding. It all depends on how the couple let their people know about it. I would want a small wedding (small number of people). If there is enough money then, i will spend it but i just do not fancy all that crowd at weddings.

@topic
not neccesary.small and very unique is how i want mine to be

janami:

@topic
not neccesary.small and very unique is how i want mine to be

that's mai gal

it is not by force if u even lik dont wed

but i'll advise men to go for moderate wedding except ur dad is a politician.

Well I like small weddings as is my  family way of doing things.

But  its a decision for both of the couples and I suppose if one is real bent on a big wedding then you have to accept to make things  easier.

A small wedding is usually less choatic,you actually know who is there and is likely to be quiet as it should be.No 8ft speakers giving you a headache on your wedding day!

Also if you talk about the money side then thats something else to consider.Personally , a lot of people forget about after the wedding.

A downpayment on a house vs a big wedding for instance?

But reading all this post I have come to realise it seems a good number of people are thinking of small weddings,which is a positive sign for Nigeria.

Also the white man who we inherited 50% of the ceremony from has also of recent had a change of heart.With wedding cost there now an average of £12000 no wonder .

So even if its not your style to consider a small wedding , think of what the money can do for your future.

Even a nice car that will run for years is better.

Funny enough I think many ladies will actually prefer the money to start off life with and opt out of a big wedding for something small and classy.

Take pictures of weddings.The nicest ones are of the couple dressed smartly and smiling with family members.Not the canope filled with 1000 people.

But often its not the guy's or girl's choice on how they wants the wedding which is sad.

Big weddings are not necessary.

Making the day memorable should be the aim.

I am really impressed with the contributions of ladies in the house,thumb up for u.
Many ladies have been left in the cold after the supposedly husband -to be had absconded to God-knows where simply because the lady in question wanted it so big not minding where the man got the money from.
A friend told me a story where the wife-to be in PH wanted her wedding gown from the best designer in Uk and so many stuffs like that, trust the man in question(a lawyer),he told the woman to contribute in buying the gown and when she is ready he will go ahead with the wedding.
The woman did not contribute anything to the wedding but wanted so many things because of the influence of the friends but at the end she succumbed to what the man wanted.
HOW ABOUT THAT?

Ekwere:

I am really impressed with the contributions of ladies in the house,thumb up for u.
Many ladies have been left in the cold after the supposedly husband -to be had absconded to God-knows where simply because the lady in question wanted it so big not minding where the man got the money from.
A friend told me a story where the wife-to be in PH wanted her wedding gown from the best designer in Uk and so many stuffs like that, trust the man in question(a lawyer),he told the woman to contribute in buying the gown and when she is ready he will go ahead with the wedding.
The woman did not contribute anything to the wedding but wanted so many things because of the influence of the friends but at the end she succumbed to what the man wanted.
HOW ABOUT THAT?

Well clearly the man is a man .

In Nigeria, even if you do not want something there is huge huge influence and pressure that most people succumb .

Frankly, what the man did was totally right.He gave her a lesson in life.Many girls believe  that rubbing a man's thing is the key to getting it all .

That might hold true if they are used to dating politicans and chiefs and other less enlightened men.

It actually shocks them that nowadays a man can think beyond a prick rub .Such women are not the sort you want to marry who use sex as a weapon.

However, I am delighted to see there are many women willing to think beyond a big wedding .

I actually know a man who was engaged to a  girl from Nigeria who used sex as a weapon and kept the man under so much pressure leading to the wedding.

He used to drink a lot because of this and like few months to the wedding just lost it and cancelled it all and left the country.He is married to a Polish girl and has 2 kids and on a recent visit home refused to touch alcohol at all saying he is happy in life.

It is sad that a man who was so intrested in only marrying a Nigerian girl took this step.Had he met one of the ladies here , maybe he would have 4 kids by now and be smiling!

well it really depends on the parties involved. if they want a big wedding and they can afford it, good for them.
but personally i prefer a small or moderate wedding.infact my traditional marriage is going to be an indoor thing and strictly by invitation too. to me, the state of the marriage union after the wedding day is what should be uppermost in our minds. besides, i don't like big ceremonies. _{whats the point of feeding all the people in my city anyway}   we should have enough money to live life after the wedding, so our resources should be geared towards that, not some show of wealth. after the wedding ceremony, all the invitees u wanted to show off to _{even if u succeed in doing that}, go to their respective homes and waits for the next wedding they are to attend. u guys will be on your own oh  

omena555:

well it really depends on the parties involved. if they want a big wedding and they can afford it, good for them.
but personally i prefer a small or moderate wedding. to me, the state of the marriage union after the wedding day is what should be uppermost in our minds. besides, i don't like big ceremonies. _{whats the point of feeding all the people in my city anyway} we should have enough money to live life after the wedding, so our resources should be geared towards that, not some show of wealth. after the wedding ceremony, all the invitees u wanted to show off to _{even if u succeed in doing that}, go to their respective homes and waits for the next wedding they are to attend. u guys will be on your own oh

títô.

Next week its another wedding and this time maybe the rice will be less burnt.No one remembers apart from very close friends and family who will come to a small wedding anyhow.

If you imagine all the money ,sweat and time kept into that day and it was kept into buying the couple one large gift from the families .Wow who go complain!

Big weddings dont make good marriages most of the times, take a cue from the american celebrities. . . . . some even spend up to $2mill for wedding that will last six months only by chance.

banni:
But often its not the guy's or girl's choice on how they wants the wedding which is sad.

very correct!
at times it really has to do with the parents and family members. some parents just want to show off to their club and meeting members that what others can do, they can do even better. how sad. low thinking indeed!

omena555:

very correct!
at times it really has to do with the parents and family members. some parents just want to show off to their club and meeting members that what others can do, they can do even better. how sad. low thinking indeed!

Exactly.You will be suprised how often a woman does not want this espically if the man does not want it neither.But family/friend pressure is strong .

"My first child not have a huge wedding!" is a common thing to hear.

Ok if you like your child so much go lay foundation for house or buy am better car instead.

Then again some families would accept any decision but the girl/guy is the one who wants it.

Ha ba

I WANT TO RENDER AN ADVICE TO BOTH MALE AND FEMALE HERE,AS YOU LAY YOUR BED SO SHALL YOU SLEEP ON IT.
ANY GAL THAT WANT TO SPONSOR A WEDDING FOR THE SAKE OF MARRYING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, YOU ARE DIGGING YOUR OWN GRAVE MEANING YOU SHALL CONTINUE TO PROVIDING FOR THE FAMILY AND ANY MAN THAT WILL WANT TO SATISFY OR FALL TO THE INFLUENCES OR CAPRICES OF SELECTED FEW WILL REGRET EVER INVOLVING OR EVER LISTENING TO ANY OF THEM.
LISTEN TO YOUR CONSCIENCE AND ACT ACCORDINGLY,THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES IN OUR COUNTRY TODAY AND CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT MOST OF THE GUYS PLANNING TO WED LIVE IN A RENTED FLAT OR ONE ROOM- C A N U B E A T T H A T ?
BETTER THINK WITH YOUR HEAD-ENOUGH IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.
I REST MY CASE

if u can afford it, do it

if u cant, dont borrow money, cut ur cut according to your slim pocket

Weddings are getting more and more expensive these days. Now that i have been told that the bride's family is responsible to pay for the ceremony - i have kind of spoken to maself regarding the wedding issue and how much am willing to spend.

ronkybaby:

Weddings are getting more and more expensive these days. Now that i have been told that the bride's family is responsible to pay for the ceremony - i have kind of spoken to maself regarding the wedding issue and how much am willing to spend.

It is not  a matter of who pays for it.Though, that said I agree with many who say who wants the big wedding should fit the bill simple and short.

The people who say its once in a lifetime forget that divorce is rampant and even at that why would you switch a small classy wedding for a lavish wedding  when the result is the same?

The extra money can buy you a small plot of land or a holiday outside the usual Nigeria/Ghana route.

Strangely, I noticed those with small weddings mostly seems to go somewhere outside the Nigeria/Ghana such as south Africa or europe for their honeymoon.

As for me, I am not getting married if its gonna be a moderate wedding!!

Growing up as a young girl,say about 12 years of age,I had the idea of how I wanted my wedding to be.
At age 18,I already knew my colour combination both for groomsmen and bridesmaids.I wanted a very elaborate ceremony.
But few years down the line,I have learnt that a big wedding does not guarantee happiness,now I want a small and quiet wedding and that money can be deposited for a mortgage.
PS-why would  I spend ££££ on a big wedding only to get plastic bowls and blenders

gentleaura:

As for me, I am not getting married if its going to be a moderate wedding!!

Pay for it then you can have it.Not even the person you are marrying can stop you from doing it.

Just make sure once you are married you are not moving into a 1 bedroom flat because you spent it all on a wedding rather then provide a better place for your new wife.

I want my weeding to be classy, unique and memorable, if it will take only 20 people to make that happen by calculation, so shall it be.

It depends. . .

If u have the money to do it big. . then whats stoppin u

But if u dont have what it takes to do it in a ''flamboyant'' way, Then stay on your class and do it the way u can afford

Just Make sure u don't run into debt at the end of the day. . .