Woged2005: My female cousin who is a nurse in the USA with two daughters cooked up lies and filed for a restraining order against her husband. She filed for and got full physical/ legal custody of the kids as well as a monthly child support payment of $1000 from her husband for the two kids mostly because her husband refused to fight for the case. But this has backfired, as her husband has refused to visit, see or even call the kids for the past 7 months. Rather he simply mails the child support. My cousin continues to lie to everyone that her husband was abusive in the marriage to justify her actions. Lies! lies!! lies!! I knew this couple from day one. In fact, she was the abuser, she patronizes fake Nigerian pastors who saw fake visions/ prophesies for her, she gossips a lot, insults her husband before us, and can’t move along with anyone. In addition, she was secretly going out with a male nurse at her workplace of which I confronted her before and she said he’s just a friend. Now we know he’s more than a friend to her because they made love.

I asked her husband last week why he doesn’t make any effort to see his kids. He said his wife was the one that lied and filed for full custody of the kids, that she coached the kids to lie in court in order to get child support, that she was using the kids to draw her into a costly custody battle, which he won’t succumb to. Therefore, she should keep the kids. I begged and he hung up. I wept!

I visited the kids last week; they sat on chairs like orphans depressed. They miss their dad! Even my cousin has started suffering, as she’s now saddled with raising two girls by herself because of $1000 a month child support. Yet pride won't let her stop. Did I mention that she retained a white lawyer whose interest is getting paid per hour and keeps firing up the case?

No amount of preaching has changed this man’s heart to call or even start visiting his kids. We don’t know if and when he will. Everyone is just shocked! Very sad!

Fellow Nairalanders is this man right in what he is doing just to avoid a confrontation or custody battle, or should he retain a lawyer too to fight for shared custody of the kids? The kids are in the middle. My interest? I am a God-mother to one of the girls…weeping!!

baby_123:
Always the Nurses. Nurses come and defend yourselves!

You seem like you have a lot at stake in this. Maybe the man's heart who knows.

coogar:

seedord247: I repeat... Never marry a naija woman in usa or uk.... They are worse than Akata's.

baby_123:
hahahha, abi! Nurses here and there. Nurses breaking hearts all over the USA

coogar:

nursing is one of the most promiscuous profession in the world. besides, majority of those nurses in the states were imported from the nigerian villages. there's no real evidence there is love in the marriage. in most cases, it's the union of a desperate woman in nigeria looking for means to get a ticket to yankee and a lazy man who needs a workaholic wife that would be the primary source of income. the murder rate of the nigerian nurses in america is mind-boggling.

baby_123:

Always the Nurses. Nurses come and defend yourselves!

You seem like you have a lot at stake in this. Maybe the man's heart who knows.

Woged2005:

..No ma, I will never do a thing like that. We were all close before the devil took over. The kids call me Auntie. The tone of my write up was mere frustration with the situation. Can you imagine a 10 and 7yr old daddy's girls now lacking daddy's love bc of two proud adults? thanks to coming to America!!

Woged2005:
..No ma, I will never do a thing like that. We were all close before the devil took over. The kids call me Auntie. The tone of my write up was mere frustration with the situation. Can you imagine a 10 and 7yr old daddy's girls now lacking daddy's love bc of two proud adults? thanks to coming to America!!

coogar:

nursing is one of the most promiscuous profession in the world. besides, majority of those nurses in the states were imported from the nigerian villages. there's no real evidence there is love in the marriage. in most cases, it's the union of a desperate woman in nigeria looking for means to get a ticket to yankee and a lazy man who needs a workaholic wife that would be the primary source of income. the murder rate of the nigerian nurses in america is mind-boggling.

ifyalways: All that stress for just 158,000NGN per month? Na "auxiliary nurse(nurse Eliza)" your sister be?I mean the money(which was one of the motivating factors according to your story) is not even "fascinating".
I think you or someone else in your family needs to talk some sense into your sister. They might not have a future together again but she owes the man an apology then go for peaceful,out of court settlement.

ifyalways: All that stress for just 158,000NGN per month? Na "auxiliary nurse(nurse Eliza)" your sister be?.

baby_123:
It is based on his income. And besides in some states that is cool money. When he earns more, the amount can be reviewed and increased. For some women its not the money, but the fact that his wages will be garnished and he will feel it every month.

coogar:

baby_123:
Dude, dont test me. I will make you work for me. As in all your salary. . I know people and i have them on speed dial.

baby_123:
Child support you must pay. That has nothing to do with pre nup. And it can be the woman. Who ever earns more pays, so if your wife is richer you get a check every month .

coogar:

work for you? hmmmmm, that's delicious. such an appetising offer.....can i ponder over this for a moment?

baby_123:
Sure. Polyandry is not so bad after all. Income from every where.

coogar:

work for you? hmmmmm, that's delicious. such an appetising offer.....can i ponder over this for a moment?



i know child support is different from prenup - i am just singing for the husband of the op's cousin!

coogar:

i like polyandrists......but i must warn you, i have a huge appetite! i wouldn't want a situation where the other men are moaning they are not getting enough "action".

ileobatojo: @ OP, I'm not clear on what your cousins problem is. Because if she committed all these atrocities and did everything in her power to get full custody of the kids, why is she sad now? Is she wanting more money or wanting a babysitter (father) to relieve her of the burden of caring for the kids? Anyway I imagine it would be very difficult for her to seek to share custody through the courts without getting in trouble for perjury.

I don't know what to tell you abeg.

ileobatojo: @ OP, I'm not clear on what your cousins problem is. Because if she committed all these atrocities and did everything in her power to get full custody of the kids, why is she sad now? Is she wanting more money or wanting a babysitter (father) to relieve her of the burden of caring for the kids? Anyway I imagine it would be very difficult for her to seek to share custody through the courts without getting in trouble for perjury.

I don't know what to tell you abeg.

coogar:

most women don't know what they want - she's probably missing sex!

baby_123:
I dont think the woman is complaining. She is even following up the case. The woman's cousin is the one affected by this.

coogar:

who's she going to complain to? she's sad.....the kids are sad and the family is torn apart! deep down, she must know she's emotionally damaging her own daughters because of a monthly stipend of $1000. some women need lobotomy!

baby_123:

Its obvious the husband earns more. So he is likely to pay child support and alimony. If she did, well well...

Woged2005:

No. It's whoever gets custody of the kids gets paid. You can't pay a non-custodial parent. It's money to feed kids. Shared custody usually means that neither parents gets paid because they keep the kids 50/50. Many women who love money fight hard to keep full custody so that they get paid. Also US courts will hardly award kids at that age to a man because they believe they will need their mom. A woman has to be terribly very bad (like criminal records, drug addiction) to lose custody of under-aged kids in US. the bad news is that some men who pay child support simply abandon the kids to the woman and enjoy themselves around.

baby_123:

I really dont think she is sad from what the OP wrote. The kids seem to be the only ones that care or feel anything in this whole saga. The woman is out for blood, and the man doesnt give two...

coogar:

but if the kids aren't happy then it would affect their mother directly or indirectly. seriously, some women are not supposed to be mothers - anyone who puts herself before the happiness of her children should be tied to a stake and flogged at the market square.