Plsss I want dis to stop..what can I do..I can't even sit in d parlour with my dad..when he is around am always sad. And when he is out I feel relieved like I have just been released from d prison..and I don't want to be rude!!!am a good christian..any advive?

hmmmm......i dnt understand oooh you are already a grown up man @26 nd y will ur dad be strict too you or hav you done sumtin wrng

Get your own house or deal with it.

swaggerkid: hmmmm......i dnt understand oooh you are already a grown up man @26 nd y will ur dad be strict too you or hav you done sumtin wrng

Can dis be soo..is it because I offended him..

NnamdiN: Get your own house or deal with it.

My own house ke. Am still a student!!!!!!!!

Your dad must have been extremely strict on his kids while bringing them up... In as much i support discipline, i advise parents draw a thick line between discipline and bullying..
If at 26 you still feel uneazy around your dad, i guess you might never out grow it.
Search within yourself and see if there is a particular memory of him in your childhood that caused you pain, forgive him and begin to see him in a new light if he no longer exhibits those traits.. However if he still does, i advise you have a man to man, heart to heart talk with him. Let him know he has instilled so much unwarranted fear in you and it is makes you tremble each time you meet.

Have you got siblings? Do they also feel these way about your father?

Segun agagu:
Can dis be soo..is it because I offended him..

My own house ke. Am still a student!!!!!!!!

i tink so maybe you did something bad

Even if he was strict on you as a child,you shouldn't be scared of him anymore at this age.
Does he bite?
There's only a thin line between fear and respect and you don't know where/how to draw it.
I think you've never had a personal relationship with him is the problem and you should start trying to especially since you are still stuck under his roof.
Stop hiding inside when he is at home.Sit and watch TV with him.
Raise issues with him and discuss.
Cross your legs on a stool/table beside him and relax!
He is your father NOT a lion!!!
Be free!
Be a man!

correct!!!

@ slimyem, thank you very sincerely.....u just hit d nail on d head, i.e u just said it d way it is.......i experience d same thing with our firstborn, he is such a very strict disciplinarian, but while others are fearing and avoiding him, i would confront him, i would sit beside him and ask him questions, and whenever he started with his "as usuals", i always remind him of my age........gradually, we became very close, till now, he sees others as cowards and sees me as bold and brave.
@op, face him and if necessary, if he throws his normal tantrums, dont hesitate to remind him of your age and dt you are no longer a kid, but do it respectfully, do not be rude, do not shout on him, just let him realise how important you are to him. May God give u wisdom to do this appropriately.

specialguest: Your dad must have been extremely strict on his kids while bringing them up... In as much i support discipline, i advise parents draw a thick line between discipline and bullying..
If at 26 you still feel uneazy around your dad, i guess you might never out grow it.
Search within yourself and see if there is a particular memory of him in your childhood that caused you pain, forgive him and begin to see him in a new light if he no longer exhibits those traits.. However if he still does, i advise you have a man to man, heart to heart talk with him. Let him know he has instilled so much unwarranted fear in you and it is makes you tremble each time you meet.

Have you got siblings? Do they also feel these way about your father?

Yes u got it. He was extremely strict while bringing us up..dat issue of talking man to man with man..just count me out..I don't even want it sef..I tell u..

slimyem: Even if he was strict on you as a child,you shouldn't be scared of him anymore at this age.
Does he bite?
There's only a thin line between fear and respect and you don't know where/how to draw it.
I think you've never had a personal relationship with him is the problem and you should start trying to especially since you are still stuck under his roof.
Stop hiding inside when he is at home.Sit and watch TV with him.
Raise issues with him and discuss.
Cross your legs on a stool/table beside him and relax!
He is your father NOT a lion!!!
Be free!
Be a man!

Yes I have never had a personal relationship with him and I don't even want to..if I do something wrong. He will start all telling me the story of my life till date..Is dat hw he should talk to his son..

greatgod2012: @ slimyem, thank you very sincerely.....u just hit d nail on d head, i.e u just said it d way it is.......i experience d same thing with our firstborn, he is such a very strict disciplinarian, but while others are fearing and avoiding him, i would confront him, i would sit beside him and ask him questions, and whenever he started with his "as usuals", i always remind him of my age........gradually, we became very close, till now, he sees others as cowards and sees me as bold and brave.
@op, face him and if necessary, if he throws his normal tantrums, dont hesitate to remind him of your age and dt you are no longer a kid, but do it respectfully, do not be rude, do not shout on him, just let him realise how important you are to him. May God give u wisdom to do this appropriately.

I bet u ur own is still very better..this man..any small thing he will start raising his voice like he was d one created u..

Thanks @all..I really appreciate.

Recently. Something is going on nw,,I bought a tablet.and u won't believe I can't even say I bought it with my money..because if I say dat he will start asking me where I got d money from.dis and dat.so I planned with a friend and told my dad the aunty of my friend in abroad sent it to him and he did nt like ,so he decided to sell it for me,and I will be paying him gradually as he is my friend..friends believe me..I thought dis scope I use will save me but NO..he seized it,and insisted I bring dat my friend..and insisted he wanted to talk with dat aunty of my friend.believing we STOLE it.he has called my friend so many names. Saying he is a thief dat he does nt trust guys of nowadays.dat he has to speak with dat aunty in abroad.my friend was so angry d day he came to my house..and d man is saying am moving with armed robbers and thieves cos he believed my friend stole it..I have tried my best to convice him my friend is nt a thief. Wat should I do nw?cos dis small matter is getting out of hand..should I tell him I bought it with my money and all d friend and aunty stuff was just lies..

I thought of dis over nyte..I think I will just have to say d truth,,dats all..

Which area you dey stay?

Make I introduce you to the women selling paraga and also whats your phone number I would get Sir Kay to contact you

He has the best weed in Lagos

Take Paraga and Igbo by the time you see your popsie you go chop knuckle, toast babe together and give am "DIGBE" like he is your friend

Hahahahahahah. Ur nt serious..lolss. Its nt funny at all..

Segun agagu: Hahahahahahah. Ur nt serious..lolss. Its nt funny at all..

I feel you. I was once like that but at 26? Bros its time to grow a spine. Get your own place and job.

davidylan:

I feel you. I was once like that but at 26? Bros its time to grow a spine. Get your own place and job.

But am still a student. And he is still feeding me.

davidylan:

I feel you. I was once like that but at 26? Bros its time to grow a spine. Get your own place and job.

I tell you. There's no two ways about it @OP. Just get a decent job and move out.
You can live in a hostel if you're still a student.

You have to stand up to him someday. Parents would baby/bully you till they die unless you state otherwise. It's left for you to decide your fate on how you want to be treated.
After one episode of heated argument, you apologise until the next one. He would eventually get the message.

Moving out helps, but doesn't remove the fear. You have to confront your dad to let him know his limits.

stillwater: You have to stand up to him someday. Parents would baby/bully you till they die unless you state otherwise. It's left for you to decide your fate on how you want to be treated.
After one episode of heated argument, you apologise until the next one. He would eventually get the message.

Moving out helps, but doesn't remove the fear. You have to confront your dad to let him know his limits.

Yes dats true and I think its tyme for all dose rubbish to stop..thanks

Segun agagu:
But am still a student. And he is still feeding me.

At 26?

Segun agagu:
Yes dats true and I think its tyme for all dose rubbish to stop..thanks

you might want to wait till such a time as you can feed yourself.

So where did you the money for the tablet?
You keep saying you are a student and he is still feeding you so where did you get money for a tablet?
If you work, do aa side business that is legal then your parents should know. With Yahoo Yahoo, Kidnappers and people like Cynthias killers all around parents should question their kids activities I believe.
I am for open communication but you are still accounntable to your parents. Even married with kids when I make any big purchase as a car or a house I still feel the need to explain to my parents how we funded it so they won't be worried that am committing fraud or am making my husband commit fraud.

Your Dad has good intentions but going about it the wrong way,
More parents should question their kids about sources of income, if you have ways of making extra money let your parents know.
If you feel the need to own something expensive justify it to them.
I can imagine the feeling of failure that goes through parents when their kids are paraded as rapists, armed robbers and Yahoo Yahoo Boys, what of the ones aarrested by EFCC, I like the fact that he doesn't turn a blind eye even though he can speak more matyredly to you.

Don't buy expensive things to oppress others, live within your means as a student pray wht do you need a tablet for? When you earn your own money you can with a clear consiense buy all you want.

Speak with your father and thank him for training you well. Ask him to trust his oqn good work and stop being so harsh.
Explain truthfully about the tablet and assure him of open communication with him in future.
Forget the age, if my student son who has no known source of income comes with a big purchase almost someones salary be sure I will be asking him.
Is it till they raid the old mans house nd disgrace him and possibly carry him along as an accomplice and Nigerians curse him out that he should question his son about things he knows the boy can't afford?
These days a child who doesn't work will buy a car and foolish parents will be holding thanksgiving

debrief08: Speak with your father and thank him for training you well. Ask him to trust his oqn good work and stop being so harsh.
Explain truthfully about the tablet and assure him of open communication with him in future.
Forget the age, if my student son who has no known source of income comes with a big purchase almost someones salary be sure I will be asking him.
Is it till they raid the old mans house nd disgrace him and possibly carry him along as an accomplice and Nigerians curse him out that he should question his son about things he knows the boy can't afford?
These days a child who doesn't work will buy a car and foolish parents will be holding thanksgiving

At 26, my man should not be a student relying on daddy. Respect is earned... even from parents.

Exactly David and even if he got some money why not think about how to lessen the burden on his father, why go and purchase an expensive item?
Wrong priorities.
Respect is earned, if you had a side job or small business he won't shout at you for buying anything, He will ask politely.
He has to be worried oh, Nigeria of today.

Segun agagu: Recently. Something is going on nw,,I bought a tablet.and u won't believe I can't even say I bought it with my money..because if I say dat he will start asking me where I got d money from.dis and dat.so I planned with a friend and told my dad the aunty of my friend in abroad sent it to him and he did nt like ,so he decided to sell it for me,and I will be paying him gradually as he is my friend..friends believe me..I thought dis scope I use will save me but NO..he seized it,and insisted I bring dat my friend..and insisted he wanted to talk with dat aunty of my friend.believing we STOLE it.he has called my friend so many names. Saying he is a thief dat he does nt trust guys of nowadays.dat he has to speak with dat aunty in abroad.my friend was so angry d day he came to my house..and d man is saying am moving with armed robbers and thieves cos he believed my friend stole it..I have tried my best to convice him my friend is nt a thief. Wat should I do nw?cos dis small matter is getting out of hand..should I tell him I bought it with my money and all d friend and aunty stuff was just lies..

My guy, are you 16?

Thanks @all..I have savings..I don't have any girlfriend who I can be giving money,I don't drink,I don't go out,am d indoor type am a born again christian,I save very well..I have friends who have started working who I ask to give me small change.and dey give me.so dats hw I buy my things.do I still have to go and meet my dad to buy me a tablet wen I kno won't buy it for me..I don't see anything wrong .wen I know my hands are clean and God sees me..

Its not about your hands being clean. First why do you need a Tablet? Let me guess, all your friends have one you don't want to be left out.
Secondly no one says you should meet him but let him know and the fund source so he won't react this way. I still tell my parents when am buying things not because I want them to buy it for me just how I was raised.
Many parents and kids lack that today.
I see young girls with phones worth over a hundred thousand and I wonder what their parents say to them