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Some Current Definitions You Need To Know: - Nairaland / General - Nairaland

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Some Current Definitions You Need To Know: by Ewizard(m): 3:28pm On Jan 24, 2013
SCHOOL: A place where Papa pays
and Son plays.
STUDENT: someone who knows
little of everything.
PROFESSOR: someone that knows a
lot about so little.
LECTURE: An art of transferring
information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of either".
LIFE INSURANCE: A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so
that you can die Rich.
NURSE: A person who wakes u
up to give you sleeping pills.
MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her
masters.
DIVORCE: Future tense of
Marriage.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number present.
HOUSE OF REPS. : A place
where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.
COMPROMISE : The art of
dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
DICTIONARY : A place where
success comes before work.
FATHER: A banker provided by
nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy not different
from the rest....except that he got caught.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN : One who shakes
your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
DOCTOR : A person who kills
your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
SMILE : A curve that can set a lot
of things straight.
OFFICE: A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN: The only time some married men
ever get to open their mouth.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can
do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done
together.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give
to their mistakes.
E.T.C .: A sign to make others
believe that you know more than you
actually do.

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